Personal Statement About Iskall

Beginning in early 2021, I initiated contact with Iskall via Twitter, sharing a lighthearted story from one of his streams. He was my favorite Hermit, and his creation of Vault Hunters had introduced me to the world of modded Minecraft. His streams and videos provided me with an escape during the dark and difficult first year of the pandemic. Our conversations started naturally and grew into a consistent exchange. We shared similar humor and interests, and I looked forward to the easy, enjoyable conversations we had.

I did some research online about his relationship status and could not find anything, and he talked about living alone with his dogs on his streams, so I felt there was no reason to hold back when our jokes occasionally became flirtatious. A week later, he suggested we move our conversations to Skype, citing issues with Twitter and Discord. He told me his Skype was reserved for family and close friends, and that I had "sparked" his interest. He wanted to keep our communication private.

Over the next six months, we communicated regularly. Our conversations included a mix of personal sharing, flirtation, and discussions about our interests—ranging from our goals and dreams to our shared love of Minecraft and video games. Iskall confided in me about challenges in his personal life, and I did my best to offer advice and encouragement. He, in turn, supported me through my own struggles. Some of our conversations would last up to 12 hours, while most others were several hours of constant texting. While he occasionally disappeared for days or weeks, he would return with apologies that I accepted, despite feeling insecure. He made inside jokes during his streams and even in a YouTube video, which I believed were private references meant just for me. It led me to feel that we were building something deeper, even if we hadn’t explicitly discussed a potential relationship.

At the time, I felt fortunate and special to have someone I admired treated me as a friend and potential future partner. I allowed myself to believe in that possibility, though a few months into our connection, I learned that Iskall was also flirting with another woman. The two of us formed an unspoken bond over this shared situation, even joking that if anyone should end up with him, it should be one of us. We together decided to again investigate whether he was in an IRL relationship, asking some of his Discord moderators for confirmation but found no evidence of a partner. In hindsight, I understand that I justified my feelings with the thought that we had never explicitly discussed exclusivity and that we were all consenting adults. My feelings of jealousy and insecurity were clouded by my desire to believe in the connection we had. I was having fun with someone I admired and who had brought so much joy into my life, and I felt safe and wanted.

During our final conversation in August 2021, the discussion centered around a tragic situation in his life. He expressed gratitude for my support and assured me that once COVID travel restrictions were lifted, he would visit me. But after that, he disappeared entirely from Skype.

I waited for months, hoping he would return, but over time, I had to let go and move on the best I could. However, the pain lingered. I questioned whether I had done something wrong or if I simply wasn’t good enough for someone like him. I could not share this hurt with anyone. I continued to be a part of his community, supporting his streams and content, treating our interaction as something that had fizzled out and nothing more. For years, I remained financially invested in his projects, watching his content and contributing to his success.

I was blindsided when I learned the truth about Iskall's live-in partner, and the allegations of him pressuring others for sexual interactions, disregarding their attempts to ignore him. The realization that he had been deceiving me, while maintaining a secret relationship, left me feeling betrayed. I carried guilt for not speaking out earlier, especially when I heard rumors of him being flirtatious with others long after me. For years, I had believed his pursuit of me had been genuine, but now, I understand it was nothing more than manipulation.

It is difficult to confront the fact that my experiences with him were based on lies, emotional manipulation, and deceit. Reframing my memories, once filled with hope and excitement, as being exploited for his personal gratification has been a painful process. I’ve even questioned whether my story is worth sharing, and whether it is valid. But if my experience can help even one woman feel that her own story deserves to be heard, then sharing it will bring me some measure of peace.

In my interactions with Iskall, I consented to an honest exchange of feelings and the possibility of building a meaningful connection. I did not consent to being lied to, manipulated, and used at the expense of my emotional well-being or his partner’s trust. I did not consent to being the other woman.

My heart goes out to the other victims—his partner, their family, the Hermits, and the fans who are now grappling with the pain, betrayal, anger, and confusion that come with this revelation. I want to extend my gratitude to Kasszi and Mefallit for their courage in sharing their stories first. Your bravery in speaking out has made it possible for me to finally do the same.