Anon the villain Grocery day

>Ponies gasp, whisper amongst themselves and scamper out of the way as Anon confidently strides through the busy market square.
Unable to help himself, he smiles brightly under his menacing luchador mask. "Excuse me, coming through, move aside you prissy ponies, I have shopping to do."
>He stops in front of a produce stand. His hand, like a vipers strike, grabs a bunch of a grapes.
>He hums happily to himself as he scans the delicious purple fruit.
>The stands owner cowers as she watches Anon inspect her wares, nothing but her staunch professionalism keeps her rooted in place.
>Anon grasps a single grape and, gracefully, removes it from the bunch.
>The mare stifles a gasp as Anon plops the grape in his mouth, "S...si..sir?"
>Ignoring her, Anon returns the bunch back on the stand and pulls out a bunch of very legal looking documents.
"Think I'll put that down.... AS A DEDUCTIBLE!"
>The large crowd of ponies all gasp in unison.
>"Such fraud!"
>"What a monster!"
>"How could he!"
>"In broad daylight no less!"
>"That poor mare!"
Anon whips out a quill and starts writing furiously before breaking out in a fit of a seemingly uncontrollable evil laughter, "And there is not a darn thing you can do to stop me!"
>"That's where you‘re wrong evil villain!" comes a strong, confident yell from within the crowd.
>Anon whips around to find the source of the proud declaration.
>The crowd parts, revealing a single rigidly standing guard pony.
Anon flings his papers into the air, "Curses! THE GUARD!"
>"That's right Incognito! I'm hear to take you in!"
“Well I'm not going down without a fight!”
>“The guard pony smiles ruefully, “I was hoping you’d say that.”
>The poor grape mare runs off as the guard pony charges forward and tackles Anon over the stand sending grapes and bits flying everywhere.
>The crowd of ponies surround the stand and strain there necks trying to see the action but all they get are dust clouds and manly grunting.
>“I have you now!’
“No! Not the super plex!”
>The crowd jumps back as the scruffy guard pony leaps up from the dust and onto the stall, “Try a little double hoof axe drop!” he yells before jumping back into the fray.
“Confound your amazing kung fu techniques! You have wounded me valiant guard pony! I relent!”
>Anon, with the guard pony in tow, walk out of the dust cloud, “I thought you might, you’re going away for a long time Mr. Nito.”
>The crowd cheers as the guard pony moves Anon toward a recently arrived patty wagon.
Though they boo as Anon turns around to address them. “You haven’t heard the last of me!” he yells.
>The crowd begins cheering again as Anon is bodily shoved into the back of the wagon.
They were still cheering when, a mile down the road, Anon tears off his mask. “Damn this thing is hot.”
>A guard pony hops into the back with Anon. “Good work out there Anon.” she pushes a bottle of water into his hands.
“Thanks Mary, good work yourself by the way, don’t think anyone could see anything with your dust clouds.”
>Mary tips her hat over her horn. “Ha, glad to be of service.”
>The scruffy guard pony from the scuffle joins them in the back. “Thanks for doing this Anon, the guard have been getting a lot of flack lately with all the other “villains” just having there way with us.”
“Don’t worry about it Sam, I had fun,” he takes a swig of water and does his best not to spill any as he starts to laugh, “The heck is a double hoof axe drop anyway? Don’t think that was in the script.”
>Sam blushes and shrugs sheepishly. “Crowd was getting a little close, I had to improvise.”
Anon just laughs, “One of these days we need to get a whole routine down, back flips, reverses, counters and  tosses, all that jazz.”
>“Ha, I’d love to but the prep times with rehearsals, not to mention the mountain of paperwork, is just staggering.”
“Maybe so but it totally stays in the headlines longer..”
>“I suppose so, I’ll see what the chief has to say, we could really use some more wins out there.”
Anon nods before looking out the window. “Whoops, Sugarcube Corner, this is my stop.”
>The wagon slows down and Anon hops out the back.
>“Don’t forget your mask!” One of the ponies slings the thing out the back.
Catching it with ease Anon stuffs it away before waving goodbye. “See you guys next week!”
>All the ponies wave back as the wagon starts moving. “Count on it!”
>Just another day for one of the Equestria’s finest villains.