Fish editing

Moving through the harsh climate of the glacier proves to be as difficult as each time (you //I'd recommend adding a "'ve"/"have" here. It's a tense that isn't used too frequently in English, and I almost never hear it from ESL speakers, but it can be pretty important.) tried before. (That>This) fact doesn’t stop you as you march on, hoping to find something worthwhile.

However, nothing new appears (in>on) the horizon. There’s just ice, snow and… more ice. A little more than usual, actually. The area in front of you is flat, deserted of any life, and you are almost sure you can see some shapes moving under the ice.

Perhaps it’s not the best idea to continue moving over a potential body of water.

[Leave]  [Continue]

>>If leave

You turn around and head back into the direction of your camp. There’s nothing in (the>remove) view(,) so (risking //You use "risk" later in this sentence, so you should probably replace this, but I'm having trouble thinking of a good synonym for either instance myself. Maybe just "so crossing the ice is[...]"? It does get rid of some of your original meaning, so I dunno.) falling under (the) thin ice is high in risk and low in rewards. Maybe next time you’ll have more luck.

>>If continue

The ice isn’t thin enough to be dangerous, (at least now //You might want to explain this, as I'm not picking up the reason for the player thinking this.), so you decide to keep going.

The unknown dark shapes (underneath //needs an object like "you" or "the ice." become more visible. You are able to make out some minor details, but they don’t tell you much about the creatures beside(s) the fact that they are some kind of fish.

Before you can finish that thought, your next step passes through the ice and pulls your whole body into the (icy //minor repetition) waters. The wave of cold (is>remove) would be unbearable if it wasn’t for all the adrenaline starting to run through your body. You try to put grab the ice you fell through to no avail – it’s completely solid, locking you with no way of escaping.

>>If fire spell(s)

You try using [Magic spell] as (the>your/a) last resort, but it doesn’t do much – it barely melts any ice, the cold waters weakening its effects to almost nothing.

The air in your lungs is dangerously close to running out, (and) so is your strength. Before passing out, you notice a big shape at the edge of your (eye //This should be "vision"/"sight" or something. You might be thinking of "out of the corner of your eye" (which also works), but that phrase is a bit idiomatic, so you can't really mess with it.) moving close.

[Next]

(//Accidental space here)You gasp for air, confusion filling your mind as you take in your surroundings. (It’s (a) rather dark cave //I might recommend changing this to "You're in" or something, as the "it" doesn't agree with "surroundings," but "they" sounds really weird to me. Not a huge problem if you keep it like this, but it's something to think about.), the only light source being some luminescent plants you don’t recognize. By instinct, you move your hand to the spot your [Weapon] usually is and find nothing. That fact does not calm your nerves one bit.

As your eyes adjust to the dark(,) you make out more details of the location – beside(s) it being a small cave, there’s a (small //repetition) pool of water (seemingly being //I'd recommend "which seems to be," as this wording is a bit awkward.) the only way in. How you got here is a mystery.

There also appear to be some sort of… trophies? They are in a corner, neatly put (under one of the walls //This is slightly confusing. How are they under a wall? Is there some part of the wall jutting out?). You can see various kinds of bones, some small, (some big and strange looking //I'd recommend that if one of the parts of a "some [], some []" construction has an "and" in it, you also put one in the other.)(,) (that you can’t help but to wonder what creature it came from //There's a mildly complex grammatical reason that this part doesn't work that'd be hard to explain if you don't have any linguistics background. I'll just recommend that you change the "that" to an "and" and make the second half "what kind of creatures they came from."). However, the biggest surprise is the fact your equipment (also lays>is also lying //A couple things: progressive tense works a lot better here, and "lie" is actually different than "lay." Most native speakers get that second thing wrong all the time, so you're in good company.) there. You quickly get up and get it, checking if (nothing>anything) is missing. Beside(s) the fact everything is soaking wet, nothing is lost.
(//Line break)
There’s a loud splash behind you, (to which you respond with>which you respond to) by turning around with your weapon drawn(, only //I'd recommend adding this.) to see… a woman? (//extra space) (Leaning against the floor of the cave? //Don't think this should be a question given that there's no uncertainty.) (You can’t say for sure //Because this comes after the last sentence, it seems like it's referring to that, but why would you be unsure if she's leaning). What you are sure of is that (it’s a female //Oh, okay, you ARE unsure of the leaning.) and closely resembles a human – at least the body shape does. (If it wasn’t>Except //"If it wasn't for" needs a "would" to pair up with. I'd also like to note that this sentence would normally be a fragment, but I think it works well here. If you already knew that and this was intentional (it seems like it), this is your notice that it worked.) for (the fact that //You need this even if you don't change the first bit.) her skin is mostly pale blue, in some areas (it>remove) (changing //This implies it's actively changing between colors and not that there's a gradient, so you should change it if that isn't what you meant.) to purple (and some strange… horns //This isn't a color, but it's currently an object of "changing." You should probably move it up before "the fact that.")(? //Be careful of overusing question marks in narration.) (In>From //There are a lot of other options like "Just by" or "Looking at.") her hair you’d easily mistake her for a girl from your village. If you also ignored her long(,) spiked ears(,) that is. Her hair is (in>remove) a deep shade of purple, long enough to still be in the water behind her and to cover her C cup breasts in front. (The) (L>l)ast part of her that stands out (are>is //This has to agree with "part" not "eyes," but it is a bit confusing, so I'll apologize on the language's behalf.) her orange eyes – (that>which //Normally either would be fine, but the interjection makes me strongly prefer "which" for some reason.) are starting at you with great curiosity – (that have //repetition. I'd recommend "with their.") slitted irises.

After a while of mutual starting, she drops a fish she had in her mouth onto the floor, oblivious to the fact that you have a weapon drawn, and climbs (in //You should probably make this "into the cave" as you haven't mentioned it in a while), now sitting in front of you and again starting at you with a tilted head.

Only now can you see her long(,) sleek tail that ends with four lilac fins (and a>, as well as her //This "and" makes "lack" the object of "with," which doesn't work here.) lack of feet – instead of them, she has two fins on each leg, similar to the ones on her tail but smaller.

After another moment of nothing, you lower your weapon, seeing no immediate danger and suspecting that she might be the reason why (are you>you are //Embedded questions like this don't have the same movement that normal ones do.) here.

You start with a simple hello, (to which //I think you need something like "in response" to go with this. As that would cause a repetition issue, you could just go with "but.") the woman simply smiles. You wait a minute for a response, but none comes. You start to wonder if she can talk or if she even understood what you said.

Still without saying a word, she gently pushes the fish in your direction until it’s right in front of you, (expecting you to take it //You might want to add a word like "seemingly," as the champion doesn't 100% know.). A friendly gesture, for sure.

[Kick it into the water] [Take it]

>> If kick, - 10 affection

You kick it into the water, not about to accept nor eat food from a complete stranger, especially in these lands.

She gasps when the fish lands in the water with a plop and narrows her eyes at you. After that(,) she quickly dives into the water, making your grip on the [Weapon] (//I like the "a little" you put here in the spell version.) tighter. After a short moment she returns with the fish you kicked before.
(//meanie)
>> If take

Not wanting to appear rude to your potential savior(,) you take it and place it next to you, not about to eat one raw.

>> If fire magic

You could try to cook it with [Spell], but it doesn’t sound like the best idea in a small room with a creature that might have never even seen fire.

She suddenly dives into the water, making your grip on the [Weapon] a little tighter. After a short moment she returns with another fish, about the size of the one given to you.

Without any kind of preparation(,) she starts eating it, paying no mind to whatever you do.