2020 Softendo Explains Everything - Softendo

2020, To all of you..
Author: Softendo
From Softendo's Profile https://www.levelpalace.com/profile?user_id=18

To all of you..

Hello, my name is Softendo, SoftendoCMK, CapedMariok or you can call me by my new favourite character's name: Nico Yazawa if you don't know me that well, and besides me using a British flag in my country icon, i'm actually from Brazil, born and raised, and proudly too, i just love British culture a bit too much..

I know that this isn't a place for talking about stuff like this but, since i know that not many people are gonna see this, i'm just gonna do it anyway..

Yes i know, i have done tons of stuff [good and bad stuff] since i've joined you boys and girls in this community in mid-2013, and  since it's been almost 7 years, i just want to comment about my experience with everybody and what i can expect in the future, and for those who don't know me, now you will.

Seriously, this community has enlighten me since i've first began talking to you guys.. IRL i'm hella shy and sometimes even with my parents.. so this community when i first joined it [using the nickname CapedMariok], ofc i didn't know anybody yet so i was so shy that i made levels but i was too shy to publish them, and also i was like a ten year old kid back then, my english was terrible.. when i finally uploaded my first two levels that year i couldn't even read the reviews, not only because my english was pretty bad but also because.. i'm too shy for criticism.. even nowadays.

My 2014 was pretty mixed up, i left the community for a short while and in May 30th [my birthday] i created a new account, softendo, username inspired on the creator of Mario Forever.. the game that unironically changed my life forever, if it wasn't for my brother and that game, i don't hecking know if i would be here today at all, so for me, changing my username in Softendo/Buziol's honour was and still is a massive pleasure.

Months later tho.. my grandma would pass away, at that point i never had such a loss in my family before and i really thought that was not going to happen in my youth years.. b-but it did.. it shocked all of us.. and at that point i realized that life isn't always the happiest moments, and you need to appreciate every single moment you're alive, with your family.. friends.. It was that moment i decided that i needed to return to the community full time, i wanted to get friends and share my levels with no fear of criticism or just plain shyness, i started to improve my levels to a point that i got my first ever Gold level by the end of the year and that was sooo exciting that i'll never forget that moment!

December 2014 is when i met the former Pouetpu-games's Xat.com chat rooms, and that's when everything started to change for the better for me, i was REALLY shy in the beginning, and with my bad english in my first weeks i never said a thing in the chat room, but i knew that i needed to find courage, and by February of the following year, i was talking with almost everyone, just like that, since i didn't [and.. i still don't] have friends or school friends irl i thought that being friended with strangers was going to be a totally different and easier thing, and oh boy i was right, the moment i started talking with them i started gaining friends quick, my first actual friend in this community ever was CarlosV, fellow brazilian, and if you're reading this Carlos, thank you for everything, you was the first person i've ever talked in a private online chat ever in my life, and since then we became big friends!

And then, from Carlos, to Mario Blight/Vexilon, 09dhowell, Luigibonus, Popthatcorn, Seven, LightSage, Skopler, Unown, Teije, Axew, Markeyruiz, BrokenAce, Mia S, Mia SP, Josh,.. gosh so many people that i've friended with since then, 2015 really changed my life tbh, i finally started to improve my English, meet lots and lots of new people, and because of all of you guys! You don't know what this means for me, thanks a lot!

It was also in that same year that i've started to learn way more about.. hack SMF games! And i did more than 30 hacks of SMF1 because.. idk i just loved doing them! Even though.. that they weren't too high quality but anyway! That's what i loved to do when i was 12-13 yrs old. And it was in this hacking world that i've met one of my greatest friends: Toon Link, who helped me hack SMF1 to an extent that i could actually change more than just graphics/music of the game but ADD stuff to it, so thanks a hella lot Toon Link, you're just awesome!

By November we eventually moved our chats from Xat to Discord and at first i didn't really like the move, so by the first couple of weeks i stayed in Xat but at that point almost everybody stayed in Discord so i decided that i would too.

Now talking about my level making throught the year, it well, it improved a bit more [but to be honest to this day, i don't think my levels are really impressive but anyway], to the point that i started getting tons of reviews from my friends and other popular people too, that was pretty darn special..

2016 started and it didn't start really well, Pouetpu-games.com's domain kind of.. died for some days and literally everybody freaked out but days later Pouetpu fixed it so it was ok.

But in overall, this year was then things started to go both great.. and weird at the same time:

Pouetpu-games.com started to die, to the point that Pouetpu started to ban everybody there, and i tried to help everyone out by.. creating a forum! Called.. supermariflashportal [because well there was a character limit so.. yeah don't judge me ok!] I started mass advertising it everywhere from profiles to Discord and 4 weeks later it had more than 70 members, seriously i do feel like this was one of my biggest contributions to this community.. even tho that sadly it only lasted four weeks, as Brendan created a new website for all of us called.. well you know: Level Palace! And we all moved to there, and yeah i did feel kinda sad that my forum died quickly but, hey i tried the best i could, but we all trusted him more, it was Brendan that created a website dedicated to profile editing tools for PG and even a Chrome/Firefox extension, so ofc it was going to work, and as we see nowadays, this place is sure growing, and if it wasn't for Brendan, i wouldn't be able to mantain my forum for too long and.. we kind of would of disappeared so, thank you Brendan!

In overall it was a good year, new friends came in too: Pichu, IggyHopxD [who btw was the original moderator on my forum!], Hazard, tangy, Ernesdo, MrGerund, Anego the Nihilego [don't forget this name] and many others, but it had some really tough moments which i'm gonna mention later on, i mean, Chairo and Hiro came in and released their unofficial SMF updates [SMF1 V.E/SMF2 V.C and SMF3] and they literally SAVED SMF from dying way earlier than Adobe killing off Flash, I found new more friends in both Level Palace and Discord, but, two things ruined my year for me, and well.. things are gonna start to be a little bad here so: ..Well basically a good friend of mine now called BrokenAce [former SMF level and hack creator] posted a video on Discord of a girl that he had a crush on, so i went to the comment section and i started to spam how BrokenAce loved her and stuff like that, yes, that was childish, i was 12* which is to be expected but age is no excuse, later i got banned for two weeks from the Discord and rightfully so, but i got so frustrated that i started to target everybody.. for.. no reason.. like why? I attempted to raid, tried to hack his account, tried to hack our Discord server and other dumb stuff, i mean seriously, did i seriously think that it was going to make me feel better? After two weeks i sent to him and everybody else an "apology" message that idk how it convinced them and they unbanned me.

The second "bad" thing that i was involved in this time didn't really have to do with me but unfortunately this is something that sadly everybody who was from the community at the time is always gonna blame me for it. It also involved BrokenAce's life but this time, it wasn't me! Somebody who to this day i have NO IDEA who it is just created a catfish facebook account called "Natalie Stevenson" and started to talk with BA and that person convinced him really badly to the point that they even planned a date.. that obviously didn't happen, he also used to post their fb conversations on Discord and i've always reacted a little bit different than the others so maybe that's why they thought that Natalie was me.. But what i think that made them think for sure that Natalie was me was when i created a fake account just to talk to "her", i even published screenshots of our convos on Discord, and as you can imagine it didn't work really well, the ""catfisher"" blocked me and i didn't help anything, but what it did help was me getting banned days later on November 23 for possibly being Natalie.. and i'm gonna be honest with y'all boys and girls, when i found out that i got banned because of that i got so shocked that i started to cry, asking people that i knew to explain to me what happened.. and they started to ignore me, i didn't know what to do, i was desperate, i wanted to prove BrokenAce wrong but he didn't want to care either.. that episode is forever gonna be remembered in my life.. and sadly it damaged my reputation pretty heavily.. even tho that in this time, i didn't do anything wrong..

I was ready to leave the community until they decided that they were going to unban me almost a month later, and i never felt so happy in my life, they begged me to apologize but like i said and i'll always gonna say to y'all: I'm never going to apologize for something i've never did.

So, 2017 came in, and new challenges came.. and more struggles as well, by this point i wasn't really up to level making that much anymore, and by January i decided to delete all of my levels. Why? Well.. i don't really know.. i don't even know what i'm doing sometimes.., My reputation inside of the community was damaged but that didn't stop me to regain my friendship with tons of people and even gain new ones:  in February for example, when the Canadian duo joined [Tristaph and LazorCozmic5] i instantly became their friends, and it makes me glad because they're for me the two biggest LP personalities from 2017 to this day! Blueyoshi0014, creator, Filip as well and some more people that i've maybe forgot your names at the time i'm writing this 'book' but don't worry i'm gonna remember y'all names at some point lol.

By June i returned to make levels!, and in my opinion 2017 was my best year at this community in terms of levels, i was and i'm ALWAYS gonna be a SMF1 little boy, so for me it was the only SMF game that mattered so, to make levels that exceed it's limitations it's always something special [like Hazy Maze Cave], it was the year that i've most reviewed other levels too, and i'm gonna tell ya, it is something that takes time specially with a not-that-great English like i have.. geez.

But unfortunately, it wouldn't be a Nico-Nico Year without some controversy that i've caused or made part of, so once again here we go for more drama..: By March lots of the older SMF members started to leave our main discord server [which was not Level Palace at the time yet, it was named Popcorn Plaza] to join a private server that Popthatcorn created, they just wanted to hangout and it was fine for everybody.. except for me for whatever reason, i thought that it was outrageous and that it would damage the image of Popcorn Plaza, so in early June i decided to join using the name of a fellow friend that left our community [Mia S] just to spy on them? and at the end i decided to raid them.. like.. why? what did they do? why are you always like that? and i still wonder why people always say that Natalie was me all along..

Turns out that i was going to get yet another ban at Popcorn Plaza and this time rightfully so for being stupid, but it never happened, as some people [Unown and Teije] begged the staff to get me unbanned and they managed to, in overall, yet another stupity of mine but somehow this one pretty much everybody has forgotten about so yeah, you may be wondering why i'm reminding you yet again of this? Well this is supposed to be a text about my time on this community so i have to list all of my pros and cons duh!

A month later, the official Level Palace discord server was formed, and since then i've hit my most stable time around this community ever, from July to early January 2018, mistakes were becoming less and less common for me, and i gained tons of respect too, i made people smile.. i made more levels and i've became even more active on our Discord server than ever! But unforunately, all the good things come to an end very... quickly.

2018 for me was.. difficult, i still managed to pull of levels in the beginning of the year and still continued with hacking SMF but, all sorts of problems started to hit me in and out of the community, well first of all my parents started to struggle real hard with money and by August i was browsing the internet with limited speeds, lacking food, it was my first year of high school and it was a struggle, but even with all of these problems, i still managed to always smile, new friends came across me: awesomeness777, Darknesu, AmazingAlien [i know that, you might not like me anymore but.. i'll always be greatful for your presence in my life], willyedges and others! Things started to get better by the end of the year out of the community, but inside of it.. well..

I started to become very unsatisfied with Brendan's late work, i thought that he was becoming too lazy.. saying things that he wanted to do but he never made them reality, so by September i left our Discord just.. because of him for whatever reason, even though that i know that he has a job irl and such has no time for our site that much anymore, i guess i just needed a bad excuse to just leave because i got bored?

But 2 months prior to that, i made a massive mistake, and one that i'll never forget, and i think you already know what it's about don't you? Basically out of nowhere i decided that i wanted to date Retzorg [A community veteran with lots of great levels if you don't know]! She is like, 7 years older than me but something in my head for whatever reason told me to just tell her that i loved her and.. silly stuff like that.. But in true reality, i never really wanted to date her at all, i just wanted to extract from her all of her reactions to the things i said, like, what if maybe i start asking her of things about my.. fetish? What would be her reaction? Or what about some more.. sexual stuff or some more creepy stuff about our relationship? Does she like fire? If i asked her to burn something to me would she do it? What would be her reactions..

..Y-Yes i know, why did you do that? What's your goal? Are you weird?.. And well, i'm not sure.., this is really not new coming from me, i've already done this to lots of strangers in the past especially on Xat, and for whatever reason, i thought that this was funny and awesome...?? I.. i just don't know what's wrong with me.. seriously, you might not believe me but i really don't know about some things that i do.. I know that they're very wrong but i just did them because they made me happy.. ugh idk what to say.. I'm sorry..

Eventually later in November she rightfully had enough, and she blocked me, and after she blocked me, i did the same mistake i did in the first BrokenAce incident, but this time, even worse: I made a really  bad doodle about me setting her on fire.. ..yeah.. why the frick did i thought that it was going to change anything, like, was i going to get unblocked by doing that? OF COURSE NOT.. Soft you stupid kid, after this she exposed me [and again, rightfully so, if i was in her place i would do the same tbh] and my reputation that i've wasted two years to rebuild again, was literally burnt into flames.. again.. but this time, there was no excuse. I returned to the discord server to see if they would do something with me and they obviously did, they banned me permanently but.. eventually the ban was reverted into a three week ban.. why? I don't know maybe they wanted to give me yet anooother chance.. [3rd one in less than two years], after this, Retzorg started to hate me and rightfully so, what i did was shocking and i had no reason to do that just to pleasure myself, seriously i even hate myself for doing this, but.. do you think that i've possibly learnt from this?.. Well, that's where you're wrong.

2019 was in my opinion my worst year in this community, like, i've made very few progress, levels i did some but they were kind of unspetacular, and the most i've managed in the whole year was to piss off literally everybody by making jokes about the Retzorg incident and against her, making unneeded political jokes, literally raiding Retzorg's discord server and thinking that i was in the right side [this one was terrible], and well.. harrass yet more members from our community [willyedges who left the community for the same reasons of why Retzorg hates me], and Anego the Nihilego.. with the same things that i've done with Retzorg and willyedges but this time in my opinion, i did it even worse.. [and no, i don't like and i'll n ever like what i did do anybody of these people] like i started to beg her to be my girlfriend [even tho that tbh i don't need one right now] and if i didn't i would reveal a personal secret of hers to everybody else, i started to annoy her every single day with sexual comments and just.. rude stuff towards her because it felt like that was entertaining to me.. months later we would eventually just stop talking to eachother because well.. i got bored of doing that to her [yeah you've read it right], in the mean time i was trying to find a way to make willyedges my friend again, and i somehow did, and to this day we're still "friended" on Discord, but since August 2019 we haven't shared a single word since then, but it's better to stay that way.


October 2 2019, out of nowhere, i decided to just DM Anego to ask her if she liked me, she obviously said 'No', and again out of nowhere, i got mad and i blocked her.. hours later, she finally had enough and exposed everything, and do you know who else had enough? Tristaph, who finally decided that i've had too many chances and permanently banned me from the discord server, and i gotta say that, he did the right thing, i've made too many mistakes and i've gained so many chances from like 6 different staff members that i've should learned the lesson by like.. 2017, but i guess i have too much trouble with learning from the past.. I've started losing lots of friends i've made, and that's unfortunately fair stuff, people don't want to be friended with someone that has harrassed people like this just for the """"lols"""", and again, there's absolutely no excuse for nothing that i did here and i apologize, but in cases like this, apologizing isn't enought, you have to accept it, this is what life is all about, you live with it, you can learn.. but you're gonna live with it.

Weeks later somebody out of the blue started to raid our servers too, with nicknames that made it crystal clear to everybody that the raider was me, and besides me obviously denying it being me, this person's only doing this because i've started all of this mess in the first place, the Natalie person also reappeared out of nowhere, the raider kept spamming Level Palace and other servers, and in my honest opinion, it is my fault for letting this happen, like gosh i'm 17 now, i've should have learned to stop doing childish things for years now.. why do i keep doing this? Now lots of friends i have made in my way are starting to forget that i exist, because of stupid things like this that i did. I just wanna apologize to Retzorg, willy and Anego for being so terrible with them.. i really want to be come a different and better person, i know that i won't get unbanned from the Discord and my reputation won't get much better but.. hey, i want to be a better person and i really want to.. it is sad to think that i'm only starting on making a change on myself way too late in my youth years.. but i really need to do it, when even your own mother says that you're a creep, it's because it's true, and i want this to change.

If you have read this all the way to this paragraph, i want to thank you for reading this, i don't want attention from this really, i just want you to know what i've been doing and my own thoughts about all the stuff i've been doing here for.. seven darn years, seriously, thank you very much!

And this is to everybody who's still my friend, and to who's not my friend anymore, you've all made my life what it is now, every single person that i've met here is special, if you haven't been metioned here, i don't hate you at all! You're as important as everybody else, and i love you too!


Thanks everybody, enjoy your life, and if you want to make a change, do it while you can.

-Softendo