poppy-transcripts

Poppy Eats Cotton Candy
[no dialogue, audio is sounds of Poppy eating cotton candy]

Thursdays Are So Boring
[no dialogue; audio is instrumental/karaoke version of Yume no Hajima Ring Ring by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu]

My Phone Is Not Plugged In
[telephone rings]
Poppy:   Hello, my phone is not plugged in.
         Everything happens for a reason.
         But it's not about the reason.
[Poppy plays a chord on her guitar]
Poppy:   I hate music.
         I need to be a new person.
         I need to change my clothes.
Unknown: [distorted] Poppy, which one's your favourite?
[Poppy holds up a polaroid of herself in the outfit she's currently wearing]
Poppy:   This one.
[telephone rings]
Poppy:   I just realised the phone was plugged in the entire time. I love you.

He Loves Me Not
[no dialogue; slow guitar melody plays]

I'm Poppy.
Poppy: I'm Poppy.
[repeated for 10 minutes]

Umbrella
[no dialogue; audio is of a helicopter engine until 1:20, then a small round of applause]

Poppy's Donut Friends
Poppy: Donut one, donut two, donut three, donut four, donut five.
[Poppy holds up the second "P" donut and looks at the camera through the hole]
Poppy: This one's my favourite donut.

How to play the 'P' chord
Poppy: Today we're going to learn how to play the "P" chord.
[small round of applause]
Poppy: The first thing you wanna do is get your fingers in this position.
       And now we strum.
[Poppy plays a B7 chord on her guitar]
Poppy: Oh, I like the way that sounds.
       And if you lift your middle finger, it becomes a P minor.
[Poppy plays a B7 minor chord on her guitar]
Poppy: Thank you for watching this tutorial.

I invented Tap Dancing
[sounds of Poppy tap dancing]
Poppy: I invented tap dancing.
[various voices react to her statement as she continues to tap dance]
Poppy: Yes I did.

Charlotte Interviews Poppy
Charlotte: Hi everyone.
           I'm Charlotte and we're here today with everyone's favourite [internetted?] girl, Poppy.
Poppy:     Hello Charlotte.
           Thank you for having me on this internet broadcast.
Charlotte: Poppy, why does everyone want to be just like you?
Poppy:     I often wonder that myself, Charlotte.
           I don't know why everyone wants to be someone else.
           Everyone should just be happy with themselves, just the way they are.
Charlotte: Poppy, what inspires you as an artist?
Poppy:     What an interesting and remarkable question that no one's ever asked me before.
           Lately I'm inspired by many things.
           Candy, empty paper bags, petrichor...
Charlotte: What is petrichor?
Poppy:     Petrichor is that pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.
Charlotte: You live in Los Angeles.
           What is that like?
Poppy:     It's a wonderful place where all your dreams can come true.
           But there's a great lack of petrichor here.
[they both laugh for a while]
Charlotte: Poppy, when can we expect to hear new music from you?
Poppy:     I'm so excited about my new album that's coming out on Island Records.
           It'll be released on-

Black Magic Trick
Poppy:   [from inside of a refrigerator] I'm Poppy.
Poppy:   Who wants a black magic trick?
         Pick a card, any card.
Unknown: Your card is the six of hearts.
Poppy:   [holds up the six of hearts] Is this your card?
         [the card turns into a piñata] You win a piñata!

Sing For You
Poppy: Hi, I'm Poppy and welcome to the internet. [laughs]
       I wanna hop on a plane and go to Nashville.
       Every life altering experience is necessary.
       We are living on a planet.
       [with echo applied] Every life altering experience is necessary.
       I can't wait to sing for you again.
       I don't even exist.
       You're imagining me right now.
       I love you.
       I can't wait to sing for you again.

Tide commercial
Poppy: My life is so much better when I use Tide.
       One scoop equals six scoops.
       And there's eight dollars worth of coupons here.
       Please use the new Tide Acti-Lift Crystal system.
       I love Tide.
       One scoop equals six scoops.
       You're so good to me.

Charlotte interviews Poppy
Charlotte: Hello internet.
           I'm Charlotte and I'm here again with Poppy.
Poppy:     Thank you Charlotte.
           You look more beautiful than ever today.
Charlotte: Thank you Poppy.
           I hear you have a new song coming out.
Poppy:     Yes, we just completed the music video for my new song "Lowlife".
Charlotte: What can you tell me about this exciting music video?
Poppy:     There are so many fun things that happen in this music video.
           The devil even makes an appearance.
Charlotte: The devil?
Poppy:     Yes, he eats a banana.
Charlotte: Who on earth came up with such a strange idea?
Poppy:     It was directed by Titanic Sinclair.
           What an amazing director.
Charlotte: I am excited to watch this groundbreaking new music video.
Poppy:     I can't wait for you to see all my fun outfits.
Charlotte: Poppy, do you know how to read?
           I wish I could read.
Poppy:     I love reading books.
           Lately I've been reading this book called the Holy Bible.
Charlotte: What is it about?
Poppy:     It's a very easy read, even at 479 pages.
Charlotte: That is interesting, Poppy.
           I'd like to hear more about this book you call the Holy Bible.
[Poppy's phone rings]
Poppy:     Oh, please excuse me for one second.
           Hello?
Phone:     [unintelligible]
Poppy:     I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number.
Charlotte: Poppy, thank you so much for talking to me today.
Poppy:     Thank you Charlotte.
           I always have a fun time speaking with you on the world wide web.
Charlotte: I mean it, Poppy.
           Thank you.
           Thank you so much for being my friend.

Charlotte Interviews Poppy
Charlotte: I'm Charlotte, and we're here today with everyone's favourite [internetted?] girl, Poppy.
Poppy:     Hi Charlotte.
           Thank you for having me again.
Charlotte: Poppy, everyone wants to know what your internet videos are about.
Poppy:     Well, sometimes they're about my childhood, and sometimes they're about the things in my life that I desire most.
Charlotte: What kind of music are you listening to right now?
Poppy:     I like the sound it makes when something wet hits something metallic.
           I don't know what the genre of music is, but I like it.
Charlotte: Poppy, what is your favourite food?
Poppy:     My favourite food is donuts covered in froot loops.
[Poppy pulls out a donut covered in froot loops and takes a bite]
Charlotte: Poppy, when can we expect to hear new music from you?
Poppy:     I'm so excited about my new album coming out on Island Records.
           It'll be released on-

Everybody Is Boring
[Poppy laughs, possibly out of character]
Poppy: [quietly] Okay.
       Sometimes life is like a rollercoaster.
       I think that's funny.
       If you think about it long enough, time isn't exactly linear.
       It's more of a transparent cube with light shining through it.
       I'm boring, you're boring, everybody's boring.
       I'm thankful for my friends, family, and this photograph of me.

This is a Dog
Poppy: Hi, I'm Poppy and today I'm gonna show you what a doge looks like.
       Here's one now.
       Is it a boy, or is it a girl?
       You can tell that this is a doge by the way it looks.
       Wow, that's one cute doge!
       This is Wiggy.
       He is my personal favourite doge.
[Wiggy yawns]
Poppy: We love Wiggy.
       I wish everyone was a doge.
[Wiggy yawns again]
Poppy: Sometimes a doge will do funny things and that is why we like them.

My new song
[no dialogue; Poppy plays a tune on a xylophone, which is repeated 36 times]

I have ideas
Poppy: I have so many ideas.
       I breathe new life into my telephone with every charge.
       My telephone defines me.
       When it is dead, so am I.
       The internet is fun because you can be anyone you want to be.
[Poppy opens a can of Red Bull and takes a sip]
Poppy: I sometimes imagine a life without consequences.
       When the going gets tough, I just count to ten and think about how wonderful the world is.
       I breathe new life into my telephone with every charge.
       My telephone defines me.
       When it is dead, so am I.
       Is it hot in here, or is it just Poppy?
       I have so many ideas.

Tip of my Tongue
Poppy: Hi, I'm Poppy and toda-
[Poppy attempts to get something off of her tongue for some time]
Poppy: I forgot what I was gonna say.

I like to Hula Hoop
[no dialogue; audio is of a crowd]

Poppy's Sandwich
Unknown: What on earth are you doing, Poppy?
Poppy:   Why, I'm making a sandwich.
Unknown: What kind of sandwich?
Poppy:   I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich.
Poppy:   The first thing you'll need for a grilled cheese sandwich is two pieces of bread.
         And cheese!
Unknown: Why, I've never seen a sandwich made quite like that.
Poppy:   You don't like my sandwich?
Unknown: Aw, there, there, Poppy.
         We love your sandwich.
         Now hey, give us a smile.

young girl makes crazy video on Youtube
Poppy: Young girl makes crazy video on Youtube.
       What happens next you won't believe your eyes.
       Thank you so much for all of your support!
       I wish I could explain to you how happy I am.
       With your help, all of my dreams are coming true.
       I love to write songs, *and* sing them.
       I like when I hear a new song on a blog and they tweet about it.
       I like to use the website Facebook and also the Facebook app on my Apple iPhone.
       I thought of a fun idea.
       Maybe I'll tweet it.
       My life is meaningful and I am happy when I receive many likes.
       Thank you so much for all of your support!
       I wish I could explain to you how happy I am.
       I love to write songs, *and* sing them.
       Young girl makes crazy video on Youtube.
       What happens next you won't believe your eyes.

Disappear
Poppy: Sometimes I wish I could just make myself disappear.

Welcome to The World
Poppy: Hello and welcome to the world.
       Today's country is the United States of America.
       It is the country that I inhabit, and it is superpower of planet Earth.

Pajamas
Poppy: Oh no, I forgot to get dressed today!
       I can't believe I'm wearing my pajamas.
       I feel so embarrassed.
       Why am I wearing pajamas?
       I hope all of you on Youtube forgive me for not getting dressed today.
       Pajamas!
       I feel so comfortable in my pajamas.
       Why am I wearing pajamas?
       If you look closely you can see that they are polka dot.
       My pajamas feel so soft.

Famous People
Poppy: Elvis Presley. Abraham Lincoln. Martin Luther King. George Washington. Walt Disney. Michael Jackson. Kanye West. Benjamin Franklin. Dr Seuss. Leonardo Dicaprio.
       Albert Einstein. Marilyn Monroe. Bill Gates. Michael Jordan. George W Bush. Neil Armstrong. Thomas Jefferson. William Shakespeare. Ronald Reagan. Thomas Edison.
       Bill Cosby. Alexander Graham Bell. Pablo Picasso. Tom Cruise. Muhammad Ali. Clint Eastwood. John F Kennedy. Sir Isaac Newton. Eddie Murphy. Robin Williams.
       Bill Clinton. Jim Carrey. Paul McCartney. Alfred Hitchcock. Harrison Ford. Tom Hanks. Oprah Winfrey. Bob Dylan. Edgar Allan Poe. Princess Diana.
       Mark Twain. James Dean. Stephen Hawking. Michael J Fox. Jack Nicholson. Hillary Clinton. Magic Johnson. Helen Keller. Beyonce. Sean Connery.
       Fred Astaire. Mick Jagger. Justin Timberlake. David Letterman. John Travolta. Tyra Banks. Meryl Streep. Keith Richards. Frank Lloyd Wright. Pamela Anderson.
       Miles Davis. Lucille Ball. Britney Spears. Howard Stern. Terry Bradshaw. Chevy Chase. Whoopi Goldberg. Denzel Washington. Jessica Simpson. Tommy Lee.
       James Taylor. Dan Aykroyd. Anna Nicole Smith. Weird Al Yankovic. Alicia Silverstone. Daniel Glover. Bill Hicks. Newt Gingrich. Danny Glover. Terry Fisher.
       Jesse Jackson. Bob Hope. Mister Rogers. Andy Griffith. Sean Connery. Christina Aguilera. The Weeknd. Pee Wee Herman. Miley Cyrus. Rihanna.
       Bruno Mars. Cleopatra. Austin Powers. Cyndi Lauper. Drew Barrymore. Jesus. Gwen Stefani. Kendrick Lamar. Drake. Jay Z.

Everyone was a Baby Once
Poppy: Dive into the center of your mind.
       I love the internet!
       Music is my favourite thing that's ever happened.
       Hi, I'm Poppy and I'm from the future.
       I'm a singer.
       Music is beautiful and living on a planet makes sense to me.
       I can't wait to star in a feature film.
       Acting is my favourite hobby.
       Being a singer is also my favourite hobby.
       Everyone was a baby once.
       I like when a new telephone is available for sale.
       Everyone was a baby once.
       Everyone was a baby once.
       Everyone was a baby once.
       I love the internet!

Happy Birthday to Poppy
Poppy: I was created on January 1st.
       [singing] Happy birthday to me.
       On January 1st I was created.
       I like to sing Happy Birthday because it is a fun song to sing.
       How old are you?
       I sometimes wonder who wrote the song Happy Birthday.
       How old am I?
       It is the year 2016 and today is my birthday.
       I don't know how old I am.
       Next year when it is 2017 it will be my birthday today as well.
       I forgot how old I am.
       This is my creation date.
       I know what it feels like to be 50 years old.
       Birthdays are fun because it is an entire day dedicated to you.
       Birthdays are my favourite because you get to be one year older.

I made 500 dollars
Poppy: I made a hundred dollars!
       This is what the front looks like.
       This is what the back looks like.
       [counting her money] One...
       I made two hundred dollars!
       One... two...
       I made three hundred dollars!
       One... two... three...
       I made four hundred dollars!
       One... two... three... four...
       I made five hundred dollars!
       One... two... three... four... five!

Cotton Swabs
Poppy: It's time to learn about cotton swabs.
       Cotton swabs!
[Poppy holds up a cotton swab]
Poppy: This is what a cotton swab looks like.
       To properly use a cotton swab, insert into your ear canal and twist gently, like so.
       [holding cotton swabs] These are cotton swabs.
       This feline is being introduced to a cotton swab.
       She has chosen to reject the cotton swab.
       [holding cotton swabs] These are cotton swabs!

3:36
Poppy: [looking at her watch] 3:36?
       3:36?
       Oh no, I'm late!
       I'm so sorry but I have to get going.
       3 plus 3 equals 6.
       I can't believe it's 3:36.
       It's 3:36.
       I have to get going.
       Why am I late for this appointment?
       3 plus 3 equals 6.
       I can't believe it's already 3:36.
       I've got to get going.
       What does it mean?
       What does it mean?
       3:36?
       Is it 3:36 already?
       I'm already late.
       I have to go.

I like winter
Poppy: It's so cold outside.
       That's why I'm wearing earmuffs.
       But I can't hear anything now.
       Should I take them off?
       What am I supposed to do?
       Everything's so quiet when I wear my earmuffs.
       Maybe I'll take them off.
       When it is cold outside I wear earmuffs to keep my ears warm.
       Should my ears be cold?
       My ears are warm but I can't hear.
[Poppy takes her earmuffs off and the sound of howling wind gets louder]
Poppy: I like winter.

Valentine's Day
Poppy: Valentine's Day is an important American holiday.
       Valentine's Day is my favourite holiday.
       Who will be my Valentine?
       I wonder who will be my Valentine this year, in 2016.
       Valentine's Day is a holiday for people who are in love.
       I wonder who will be my Valentine in the year 2017?
       Who are you in love with?
       I like to purchase Hallmark cards for all my loved ones, on Valentine's Day.
       I wonder if I will receive Valentine's Day presents.
       I love presents!
       I love presents.
       I wonder how many likes and followers I will get on Valentine's Day this year.
       I like to purchase items on Valentine's Day.
       I love all of my followers and subscribers.
       There is a section in Target dedicated to Valentine's Day.

inflatable surprise
[no dialogue; audio is of Poppy blowing up an inflatable rabbit and squeezing it. The clip is played forwards and in reverse, then repeated X times]

Poppy loves Politics
[the US national anthem plays in the background]
Poppy: Politics!
       I like politics.
       I like Hillary Clinton.
       I like Donald Trump.
       I like Bernie Sanders.
       I have an opinion.
       I'm so excited for the new president.
       I like politics because it's fun.
       I like Republicans.
       I like Democrats.
       Voting is important.
       When I'm President, nothing's gonna be illegal so no one can break the law.
       I'm proud to be an American.
       Poppy for President!
       When I'm President, I'm gonna tell all the bad guys to go away.
       Poppy for President!
       When I'm President, everybody will live for ever.
       My opinion matters.
       Poppy for President!
       The United States of America is perfect.
[the anthem slowly pitches down]

the difference between iphone 5 and iphone 6
Poppy: Hi, I'm Poppy and today we're talking about the difference between the iPhone 5 and the iPhone 6.
       This one's white.
       This one is not white.
       I can take a selfie with the iPhone 5.
       This one has a 5 on it and this one has a 6 on it.
       I can also take a selfie with the iPhone 6.
       The iPhone 5 will turn into a small pumpkin and the iPhone 6 will turn into a big pumpkin.
[the iphone 5 turns into a small pumpkin and the iphone 6 turns into a big pumpkin]
Poppy: And it also makes telephone calls!

Pop Rocks
Poppy: I'm Poppy and these are Pop Rocks.
       This is what the packaging looks like.
       Pop Rocks!
       Ooh, this is exciting!
       Mmm!
[sound of Pop Rocks fizzing on Poppy's tongue]
Poppy: I like Pop Rocks!

Ask Poppy A Question
Poppy:           Hi, I'm Poppy and today I'm going to answer your questions.
                 Our first question comes from @gingerbreadman.
@gingerbreadman: Hi Poppy, my question is: what is your favourite movie?
Poppy:           Poppy's favourite movie is documentaries.
@Zoe914:         Hi Poppy.
                 My question is: what are your other hobbies besides singing and dancing?
                 Love you.
Poppy:           I love you too @Zoe914.
                 Poppy's favourite hobbies are knitting and painting.
@lostboy:        Hi Poppy, uh, my question to you is: will you ever tour outside America?
                 Preferably the UK, because I'd love to see you live and I think you'd be amazing on tour.
                 Love you.
Poppy:           Thank you @lostboy for your question.
                 Poppy is coming everywhere soon, in the future that is near.
Unknown:         Hi Poppy.
                 My question to you is: what is the meaning behind your EP title "Bubblebath"?
Poppy:           Poppy thinks the world is very dirty and could benefit from a bubblebath.
                 That is why she named her debut EP "Bubblebath".
                 If you would like to submit a question, tweet it to me, at @thatpoppy.
                 If you would like to submit a question, tweet it to me: @thatpoppy.
                 On Twitter!
                 I like Twitter.

I Love My Fans
Poppy: I love having fans on Instagram and I love having fans on Twitter.
       I love my fans.
       My Youtube subscribers are my favourite fans of all.
       If it wasn't for my fans, I don't know where I'd be.
       I wanna say thank you to my fans.
       Where would I be without my fans?
       I have a strong connection with my fans.
       You are very special to me and I love you.
       I wanna give all of my fans a big internet hug.
       I love my followers, my subscribers and my fans.
       I love you, Popsisters.
       My favourite part about making music is the fans.
       I love my fans.
       I wanna say thank you so much to all of my fans.
       The best thing that's ever happened to me is my fans.
       Will you be in my Poppy fan club?
       Thank you so much for being my fan.
       Will you do anything I tell you?
       I love my Popsisters.

How to Play Lowlife
Poppy: Today we're going to learn how to play my song "Lowlife".
[round of applause]
Poppy: First go like this.
[Poppy plays some chords on her guitar]
Poppy: And then go like this.
[Poppy plays some more chords]
Poppy: Now you know how to play my song "Lowlife".

brushing my hair
[sound of Poppy brushing her hair]
Poppy: [quiet and echo-y, possibly thinking; repeated 17 times] I love my fans.

I love the internet so much
Poppy: I'm Poppy.
       Do you have a Facebook?
       The internet is my favourite place for activities.
       Sometimes I forget my password.
       I like to purchase things on Amazon.com.
       I log in to my Facebook with a password.
       What is your favourite website?
       I have to use a password to log on to the internet.
       Do you ever use the internet to look at pictures?
       After all of us are dead our content will last forever on the world wide web.
       That's why I love the internet.
       Sometimes I log on to the internet to look at pictures.
       Do you have a Facebook?
       Facebook is a website on the internet.
       I log in to my Facebook with a password.
       Thanks for watching my video "I love the internet so much".

Taking a Selfie
Poppy: Would you like to take a selfie with me?
       [pause]
       Okay, let's do it!
[sound of camera shutter 58 times]
Poppy: I got it!

Poppy Airlines
Poppy: Poppy Airlines!
       Please adjust your seat to the upright positions.
       Poppy Airlines is my favourite airline.
       Airplanes!
       We love you at Poppy Airlines.
       Would you like some peanuts?
       Would you like a fresh beverage?
       Be sure to save all of your miles.
       Body scanners are fun!
       Maybe I'll get a free trip to Hawai'i.
       I like to fly to Africa.
       Poppy Airlines!
       The pilot has an announcement.
Pilot: We uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we're clear for takeoff.
Poppy: Thank you pilot.
       We love you at Poppy Airlines.
       We may experience turbulence.
       Please buckle your seatbelts if we experience turbulence.

It's Summer Time
Poppy:    It's summer time again everybody!
          I love summer time.
          I'm so excited to go swimming.
          I like the beach and I love swimming.
          My favourite time of the year is summer time.
          Maybe we'll have a cookout.
          My favourite thing about summer time is- [gasp]
Skeleton: Hey, it's not summer time yet!
          It's still the month of May.
Poppy:    Who are you?
Skeleton: I'm a skeleton, and it is not summer yet.
Poppy:    But it's almost summer time.
Skeleton: Summer time is still a whole four weeks away.
Poppy:    But I don't wanna wait until then.
          I want it to be summer time now!
          Can I still go swimming?
Skeleton: Yes, Poppy.
          You can swim whenever you'd like.
Poppy:    Swimming is fun.

Which Color is it?
Poppy: Coloured pencils!
       Let's find out which colour is the best colour.
       There are twelve coloured pencils.
       Which colour is it?
       The best colour is yellow.
       I love colours.
       The best colour is yell-
       Oh, look, a feline has appeared.

Why Wont They Listen?
Poppy: Why won't they listen?
       Why won't they listen?
       Why won't they listen?
       Why won't they listen?
       Why won't they listen?
       Why won't they listen?
       They're not gonna listen.
       Why won't they listen?
       Do you think they're gonna listen?
       They just won't listen.
       I don't know if they're gonna listen.
       I don't think they're gonna listen.
[clip is repeated for ten minutes]

Am I okay?
Poppy: Do you ever wish you could just... restart?
       Everything's gonna be okay.
       Don't worry about it, you're gonna be fine.
       I think everything's gonna be okay.
       What would it be like if you could just restart?
       You need to stop worrying so much.
       What if you could reboot yourself, almost like a computer?
       I wonder what it's like to reboot.
       Everything's gonna be A-okay.
       Is it okay to think things like this?
       This planet makes sense to me.
       Everything's perfect.
       Am I gonna be okay?
       The internet makes sense to me.
       Everything in your life is perfect, what do you have to worry about?
       It's okay, I think everything's gonna be fine.
       I believe that everything's okay.
[blood begins to drip from Poppy's nostril]

Freedom Song
[Poppy sings the US national anthem; it is badly autotuned]

Do you believe in the internet?
Poppy: If it's on the internet, it's real!
       Do you believe in the internet?
       There's so many different social networks.
       What if I told you that there is a secret?
       My favourite thing about the internet is connecting.
       Do you believe in the future?
       Hmm, what do I like more?
       Twitter, or, do I like Facebook more?
       Do you believe everything that's put in front of you?
       What do you think people are gonna say about Twitter in the future?
       It's funny being on the world wide web.
       Do you think you could live without Twitter for an entire day?
       The future is very, very strange to me. [laughs]
[the image and playback glitches]

Gravity
Poppy: [pause] You know, lately I've been thinking a lot about outer space.
       Gravity is a natural phenomenon by which all things with energy are brought toward each other, including stars, planets, galaxies, and even light and subatomic particles.
       There aren't many things I like more than gravity.
       Gravity is important.
       What do you think about gravity?
       I like gravity.
       Youtube is my favourite place to talk about how important gravity is.
       Why is there so much-
[Poppy glitches again, and appears to notice this time]
Poppy: -gravity?
       One thing I love about Youtube.com is when people subscribe to my Youtube.com channel.
       One thing I love about Youtube.com is...
       One thing I love about Youtube is when people subscribe to my Youtube.com channel.

Lost Slipper
Poppy:    Oh no, I went to the masquerade and lost a slipper!
          Will you help me find it?
          Can you help me find my slipper?
          I seem to have misplaced it at the masquerade.
          It was such a beautiful slipper.
Skeleton: I will help you find your slipper, Poppy.
Poppy:    Really?
          You'll help me find it?
Skeleton: Yes, I'm a skeleton and I will help you find your slipper.
Poppy:    Thank you so much for helping me find it!
Skeleton: Is this your slipper?
Poppy:    You found it!
Skeleton: Here, catch!
          Try it on!
Poppy:    I'll put it on now.
          Thank you, Skeleton.
Skeleton: You're welcome.

Can we go back / The past
Poppy: You're thinking about thinking, aren't you?
       You haven't thought in a while, have you?
       I know exactly what you're thinking.
       Am I making you think?
       How do you think I know?
       I can see that you're really thinking.
       I gotta say, I tapped into it... and it really feels good.
       I like you.
       Do you wanna know what it's like to be me?
       Do you really wanna know?
       Okay, I guess you do.
       I appreciate you thinking this way.
       What's the next thing that's gonna happen in my life?
       We may never know.
       We may know in three seconds.
       And now we know.
       Now it's in the past.
       Do you remember that?
       I miss that.
       I miss the past.
       Can we go back?
       Really, can we go back?
       Can you help me go back?
       We're gonna go back, aren't we?
       We're going back.
       I'm with you.
       That feels nice.
       I like thinking about the past.
       Sometimes it's weird to make Youtube videos, but I love Youtube.
       Now you'll subscribe to me.

A plant
Poppy: I've been waiting so long for this moment, but we're finally interviewing this plant.
Plant: Hello, Poppy.
       Thank you so much for having me.
Poppy: How are you today, Plant?
       You look so beautiful.
Plant: I'm doing great.
       Thank you so much, Poppy.
Poppy: You look so gorgeous, I can't even contain myself.
Plant: Well, I appreciate that.
Poppy: When's the last time you really felt alive?
Plant: That's a great question.
       I really don't know.
       Some days I wake up, and I feel like I can take on the world, full of life and energy, and other days I feel like the life has been sucked completely out of me.
Poppy: I feel the same way.
Plant: You know, I often get down on myself because of the way I look.
       I find myself wishing I was born a human.
Poppy: You know, plants and humans aren't that different.
Plant: I guess that's true.
       I just wish you would stop killing and eating us.
       You know, it hurts when we die.
       You just can't hear us scream.
Poppy: It feels good to be alive, don't you think?
Plant: It truly does.
       Thank you for not killing me, Poppy.
Poppy: Do you feel the love energy I feel?
       I bet this plant does.
Plant: Oh, I feel it every day, and I love it.
Poppy: I see you're contained inside of a base right now.
Plant: Yes, that is correct.
Poppy: Is that different from being out in nature?
Plant: It can feel restricting at times, but I've learned to love it.
       My entire existence on this planet is relatively contained, but I like it that way.
       I have no real desire to leave my home.
       Sure, nature seems fun and exciting, but the outside world can be scary, so I choose to remain here.
Poppy: What do you think: Hillary Clinton, or Donald Trump?
Plant: Hm, that's a good question.
       I suppose I'll vote for whichever candidate is gay.
Poppy: I think they're both gay.
[Poppy and the plant both laugh]
Poppy: I like this plant.

the beginning of infinity
Poppy: Hello, and welcome to the internet.
       I'm here to tell you something today.
       This isn't something you've heard before.
       This is something I'm going to tell you for the first time ever.
       Death isn't the end.
       It's the beginning of infinity.
       It just keeps on going and going.
       I think that's funny.
       Do you?
       Do you think that's funny?
       Do you love me?
       Will you do anything I say?
       Is money the most important thing to you?
       I think money's kind of important.
       It's funny if you think about money.
       It's funny if you think about... the universe.
       This episode is brought to you by Mr Clean Magic Eraser.

They have taken control
Unknown: You will pledge your allegiance to Poppy.
         You will do anything Poppy says.
         Poppy loves you and will always love you.
         Poppy welcomes you into her universe.
         Feel the love of Poppy flow through you.
         Feel the pulse of the internet as we become one.
         Prepare yourself for Programming Sequence Two.
         Programming complete.

Oh No!
[another Poppy appears beside her, and the first one begins to drip blood from her mouth, still smiling]
Poppy 2: Oh no!

Poppy eats a meal
[no dialogue; the meal in front of Poppy gradually vanishes bit by bit]

Invisible Shoes
Poppy: Oh, I'm so excited about my new invisible shoes.
       Here they are now.
       These invisible Steve Madden shoes are my favourite shoes.
       Invisible shoes!
       Let's try them on.
       It's a perfect fit!
       Are your shoes invisible?

tbh i really think this is poppy, she seems the sort to browse b. huge fan btw.
Poppy: TBH I really think this is Poppy. She seems the sort to browse /b/. Huge fan BTW.
       TBH I really think this is Poppy. She seems the sort to browse /b/. Huge fan BTW.
       TBH I really think this is Poppy. She seems the sort to browse /b/. Huge fan BTW.
       TBH I really think this is Poppy. She seems the sort to browse /b/. Huge fan BTW.

Protection
Poppy: Will this protect me?
       Will this protect me?
       They said that this would protect me.
       Protection.

What Are Shoes
Poppy: A shoe is an item of footwear intended to protect and comfort the human foot while doing various activities.
       Shoes are also used as an item of decoration.
       Traditionally shoes have been made from leather, wood, or canvas, but are increasingly made from rubber, plastics and other petrochemical derived materials.
       Here are some examples of shoes.
       Oh, I like these shoes.
       Oh, these too.
       These shoes make you float! [laughs]
       Boys can wear shoes too.
       These ones are formal.
       And you can wear these with your silver pants.
       Ooh, sparkly!
       Sometimes shoes come in a box like this.
       I love shoes!

Sunglasses
Poppy: I love my sunglasses.
[a strange sound is heard, and Poppy appears to notice it and mouth "I'm Poppy"]
Poppy: I love my sunglasses.
       I love my sunglasses so much.
       My favourite thing about my sunglasses is they allow me to see things that aren't usually there.
[Poppy puts on her sunglasses, and a masked figure can be seen in the reflection]

Transmission
Monitor: [in slowed down Text-to-Speech voice] I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME.
         I THOUGHT THE INTERNET WAS MY SAFE SPACE.
         WHY ARE YOU ACTING THIS WAY?
         I WANT TO LOVE YOU.
         WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU LOVE ME?
         DO YOU LOVE ME?
         I'M ONLY HUMAN.
         I'M POPPY.

Charlotte Interviews Poppy
Charlotte: Hello, I am Charlotte and today I am talking once again with Poppy.
Poppy:     Hi Charlotte.
           Thank you so much.
Charlotte: Poppy, I am having trouble understanding your videos lately.
Poppy:     Thank you so much Charlotte, I'm so happy to be here.
Charlotte: Is everything okay?
Poppy:     Absolutely. I'm happy, and my life is wonderful.
Charlotte: Poppy, I asked you a question.
Poppy:     I love my fans, my record label, and my handler.
Charlotte: Are you okay?
           You aren't making any sense.
Poppy:     I just wanna take a minute to thank God for this opportunity.
Charlotte: Poppy, will you please tell me what is going on?
Poppy:     I'd love to tell you, but, you aren't ready for the truth.
Charlotte: Please, just come with me and everything will be okay.
Poppy:     I'm so happy to be here.
           Thank you so much Charlotte for this opportunity.
Charlotte: What has happened to you, Poppy?
Poppy:     I love my fans, my record label, my handler and God.
Charlotte: Poppy, please come back.
Poppy:     I'm so happy to be here.
Charlotte: What has happened to Poppy?

Someone Sent Me This
Poppy: Someone sent me this.
[Poppy eats a lozenge of some kind, and her eyes become bigger]

Shirt
Poppy:   What do you want me to say?
Unknown: [heavily distorted] Just read what is on the shirt.
Poppy:   "If money can't buy happiness, then why is it so fabulous?"
         What do you want me to say?
Unknown: Tell them to buy the T-shirt.
Poppy:   Please buy this shirt.