Diplomacy 10

>This was a fancy place
>Paintings lined the walls, and there was this plush rug lining the floor
>Gold also seemed to be on every surface
>Not that crappy stuff they make bits out of either
>Ac-gold: the kind that glowed in the dark and would cost a mare a months pay just for a little sprinkle of it
>It was also supposed to help uni's with their magic, but you didn't know anything about that
>Marble pillars held up a ceiling so high that you couldn't see it in this half light
>The carpet felt pretty nice on your hooves
>The oddly cold air was also nice after running for most of the day
>If you weren't a professional, you might have just flopped on the ground and took a nap
>"You're late," a voice boomed out
>You turned your attention toward the end of the room
>There, sitting under a silk canopy and attended by a group of stallions--stallions that had collars on and their tails cut short; not that that was any of your business-- was your boss
>You didn't know her name
>Didn't need to either
>She paid well, and had promised a load more after your job was done, and that's all that mattered to you
>She was sitting in some weird bean bag looking chair, a glass of what looked like wine in her hoof
>She was twirling her drink around, staring at you with a raise eyebrow
"Half of the city is lookin' for me," you said, making your way toward her. "Princesses didn't seem to like me shootin' that colt all that much. They had the whole guard out."
>Not that that mattered too much
>The guard was next to useless in this city
>But you needed to pretend that there was some effort on your part

>If not for your pride, then to maybe squeeze a few more bits out of this mare
>"I heard," the mare said, leaning back into her chair. "I was also told by my contacts in the palace that your target is still alive."
"Horse apples," you said with a snort. "That bolt went through his shoulder, an' he was dumb enough to try to chase me. Colt shoulda bled to death 'fore anyone got to 'im."
>One of the stallions cleared his throat
>The noble looked over at him, making him and the other colts flinch
>"I'm afraid that you're very much mistaken. Lord Aegis is very much alive and well. It seems that these northernmen are a good deal heartier than one might expect."
>You grimaced
>If that was true, there was no way in Tartarus you were getting your full pay
>Sure, she had already paid you enough to make you a very happy pegasus for a good long while, but still
"I could wait a few days before tryin' again," you suggested. "Maybe try an' poison his food, or just put a knife in 'im when he's sleepin'."
>For the first time since you had gotten into contact with her, your boss smiled
>"No, I don't believe that that would be a very wise idea," she said, giving her half empty glass to one of the stallions before pushing herself out of her seat. "We did have the element of surprise, but now that you've bungled what should have been a very simple hit I'll have to get... creative with Canterlot's guest."
>The noble made her way toward you
>Her movements were thoughtful, elegant, almost practiced; like a dancer or something
>It wasn't long before she was just a foot or two away from you, sickeningly sweet smile still on her face
>"Now I have to decide what to do with you," she said, head cocking to the side. "You can't have another go at the noble lord or his men. If you were to be captured you might be forced to answer some very awkward questions."
>You raised an eyebrow
>Not taking your eyes off the noble, you checked to see if the dagger was still tucked under your wing

"I need to lay low for awhile," you said. "When the heat calms down I need to leave the city. I got just the place to hide till then."
>"Nonsense," the noble said with a shake of her hoof. "I've put you through so much trouble, the least I could do is let you stay here for a few days."
>She wrapped a hoof around your neck and began to lead you toward the stallions
>"There's more than enough rooms in this mansion, and I'm sure that this place has enough things to keep you entertained."
"I suppose so," you said, eyeing one of the stallions standing in front of you
>The noble smile, releasing you
>"Fantastic. Shine Spark, go and get myself and our guest some wine. The Ve' Ltiche if you please. Flip Jock, go and get a room prepared as well as some food. I'm sure that this fine, upstanding mare is faminished after all of the running that she was forced to do."
>Two stallions stepped forward
>They bowed their heads so low that they touched the ground before making their way out of the room
>You found yourself relaxing somewhat
>Not a lot mind you, but just enough that you weren't ready to shove your blade into this cunt's neck
>Holding up here would be a hell of a lot nicer than the shack that you were thinking of
>This place probably had better food and drink too, and if you asked nicely maybe a stallion or two could find themselves in your bed
>As you were lost in your thoughts, one of the stallions that had left returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses sitting on top of a silver tray
>The tray off the colt's back with her magic, the mare levitated it over
>She then grabbed the wine and with practiced ease uncorked it and filled both glasses
>"Would you like some? It's from the south. A bit sweet for my taste, but it is good wine to drink on special occasions."
>Without waiting for your answer, the noble takes one of the glasses and takes a long, leisurely sip before smacking her lips

>You eyed the wine
>Plucking it from the tray, you sniffed the drink
>'Course, you couldn't smell most poisons; not any of the fancy ones that nobles like this could afford anyway
>But you had been in this business a long, long time, and as such you had built up a bit of an immunity to most things
>Not that you thought this dyke would try to pull something like that
>But even so, you were prepared...
>Bringing the glass to your lips, you took a small sip
>The wine tasted like wine; nothing funny about it that you could tell
>Waiting for a second or two to see if felt any different, you took a bigger sip
>It had been a LONG day
>You were thirsty, so that bigger sip turned into you drinking the whole thing
>"Have another glass," the noble said, pouring you some more. "I have plenty. Dozens of bottles in fact."
>You grunted your thanks, quickly draining your glass and extending it toward her for another refill
>Thankfully, the noble just hoofed you the whole bottle, which you happily took
"This is pretty good. I've never drank anything like it 'fore," you said, licking your lips before wrapping them around the bottle's mouth
>The noble chuckled
>"It's a bit of a niche vintage to be fair," she said, swirling her glass. "It comes from a small village just a few miles north of the Badlands."
"Huh. Ain't that somethin'."
>The noble nodded
>"What is truly fascinating is that these particular wine makers don't use a single grape to make their wine."
>You had taken your second or third gulp from the bottle when you felt something
>Your throat was tightening
>...
>Shit

>Without hesitation, you threw the bottle across the room and pulled your dagger from under your wing, intent on stabbing the noble
>The bottle exploded against a pillar as you lunged forward
>Your cry of rage was barely audible however, as your throat was rapidly closing
>The noble's horn glowed, and before you could land a killing blow her magic caught you by the elbow and the pit of your leg
>You were about to smack her with the tip of your wing to break her concentration when you felt your face swelling up
>"They use a very special peanut that's only grown in that location," The noble continued, taking a small sip of her wine. "I forget the name of the thing, but apparently it can be squeezed and processed so that it can be turned into what we're drinking now."
>She spared a glance at you
>"Oh, forgive me, but aren't you allergic to peanuts? A severe reaction if I'm not mistake."
>You gargled, pawing at your throat with your free hoof
>Your entire body was swelling up
>You couldn't breath...
>Dropping your knife, you tried to reach into one of your pouches, only for the magic holding the limb to tighten
>"If you hadn't failed I might have left you walk away with both your bits and your life," the noble said. "Unfortunately, you'll only keep your bits.
>You could barely hear her
>Blood was roaring in your ears
>You felt dizzy, sick
>The world was beginning to grow black
>You tried to fight it as hard as you could, but it was no use
>"It will be far more difficult to teach those blasted stallions a lesson now," the noble continued with a sigh, turning away from you
>Her magic released you, allowing you to slump to the floor
>You pawed at the ground uselessly, tears falling from your completely swelled eyes
>"Still, even so a lesson must be taught. We can't have somepony just waltz in here and cause a ruckus. They most certainly can't just get away with attacking their betters."
>The noble offered her glass of wine to a stallion, who quickly took it
>She said more, but you could no longer hear her
>It was getting so dark...
>And warm...
>Warm and dark...


~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~



>Your room was completely silent
>Every knight that your lord had brought stood at various levels of attention and dress
>Lord Aegis sat at a chair one of the knights had stolen from the dining area
>He looked upset, his brow furrowed as he rubbed the space where the crossbow bolt had gone through
>Sitting beside him was Lord Hanz
>For the past half an hour, the two had been speaking in low tones
>Lord Hanz was writing on a long, crisp piece of white parchment paper
>You were too far to actually read what he was writing, but it had to be important since everyone had been ordered to stay a fair distance
>Some of the other knights were trying to distract you, trying to play memory games or telling you stories that you had heard a million times
>You barely listened to any of it, just looking at your lord
>This was the first time since you had become his page that he hadn't let you write his letters
>It was strange
>It made you feel... useless
>You didn't like this feeling
>Your lord had already been SHOT today, and you hadn't been able to do anything
>Sure, there wasn't too much you could have done, but still...
>A noise came from your lord that made you all perk up
>Lord Aegis leaned back into his chair, covering his hands
>Lord Hanz, not looking much happier, gently blew on his parchment
>"Put my damned seal on the thing and put it in a container. We need to get this to his highness," your lord said. "We can't trust the Equestrians with this. I'll have to send a few men home."
>Lord Hanz nodded
>"Of course my lord. Just let me get the wax and your seal. We can decide who to send afterward.""
>He got up and made his way over to the other end of the room, where some of your writing supplies were kept
>Lord Aegis stood up as well

>Grabbing his chair, he picked it up and spun it around so he could face you all
>"Gentlemen, we are in a bit of an awkward situation," he said, leaning forward in his chair. "As you're all aware, some stupid cunt tried to assassinate me. This is obviously a problem."
>Your lord rolled his shoulder, grimacing
>"I won't lie to you lads, this is the first time that anyone's tried to shoot me on a diplomatic mission. I much prefer when they're doing it where I can see it."
>That gets some chuckles from the knights around you
>It was a tired, mirthless laughter however
>Lord Aegis was silent for a few moments, as if he were milling something over in his mind
>"If I know Drfual, I'm willing to bet that the fucker knew something like this would happen. Hopefully he knew that I'd survive as well."
>That earned your lord some smiles
>You smiled as well, though your heart really wasn't in it
>Lord Aegis rose to his feet and began pacing
>"But there's a problem, gentlemen. If our mighty king knew that I'd survive he know doubt expects that I'll be able to navigate through this hodgepodge. I also expect that he wants me to do this without starting a war."
>He scratched his chin
>"The problem, my lads, is that I have no idea how to do it in this gods-damned country. Back home I could have gone out and busted some heads, or send some of you lads out, or asked Drfual to bribe the right people. The fact is that we can't do any of that without sticking out like sore thumbs or getting ourselves arrested."
>He clapped his hands together
>"So, since we can't leave until this negotiation is over, and I'm not staying in this damn room for gods' know how long, I'm very open to suggestions."
>For several seconds, no one so much as moved
>"You... what?"
>One of the knights asked
>Annoyance made its way onto your lord's face

>"I was a fucking bandit for thirty years, I don't goddamn know how to be a diplomat," he said with a wave of his hand. "I can't kill anyone, as far as I can tell I can't get any reliable information on who tried to kill me, and I don't know if they'll try to kill me again."
>He gestured toward all of you
>"So please, if you have any ideas on what to do I'd love to hear it."
>Confusion, hesitation, and even a little fear swept the room
>All except for the some of the northerns, one of which took a step forward and opened his mouth to speak
>"I think--"
>"No," you lord interrupted, shaking his head.
>The big man deflated slightly
>"But you didn't even hear what I had to say," he complained
>"Does it have anything to do with killing someone, Yogenhiem?" your lord asked
>The northerner, raising a finger, began to speak, only to pause
>He blinked, looking at your lord, then at his fellow northerners
>"...Yes?"
>"Get out," Lord Aegis said, pointing toward the door. "Go and guard the door. Go and bother some pony guards. I don't care what you do, but I don't want you in this fucking room. That goes for the rest of you lot as well."
>With no small amount of grumbling, every one of the northerners made their way toward the door
>Lord Eaterus, snickering, tried to say something to one of them, only to get pushed off his feet by one of the bigger northmen
>You lord, leaning back into his chair, covered his face with a hand and closed his eyes as they left
>"Come on now, lads. Let's hear something. Anything, so long as it doesn't leave me trying to carve through half of this fucking city."
>"We could let the Equestrian princesses handle it," someone said
>"If they get a damn thing done about this I'll be shocked," Lord Aegis said. "Next."
>"We could just leave?" An easterling said

>"We're not leaving until we get this mission finished," your lord said, rubbing his temples. "Next."
>"Maybe we could try to talk with some of the nobles? Maybe get friendly with a house?"
>Opening an eye, Lord Aegis looked at the man who had just spoken
>"Do you think I want to get friendly with any of these nobles, boy?"
>"If we get friendly with a house then maybe they could keep you from getting shot, lord," another man said with a shrug. "Or keeping any of us from getting shot, or poisoned, or kidnapped."
>Some of the knights nodded in their agreement
>Your lord looked like he was considering the knights words
>"Any house we picked could have been the fuckers that tried to have me killed," he said. "And even if they weren't there's a damn fine chance of them trying to tangle us in some nonsense."
>"It wouldn't hurt, would it? And it's not like you need to go through with any promise that they might make you make."
>One of the westerlings puffed up
>"Our lord would never do that! He's a man of honor that--"
>"Shut your damn mouth, Dufang," lord Aegis said. "I robbed and murdered men when your cunting father was still in diapers."
>A thought came to mind, causing you to step forward
"What about lady Fleur? We could ask her to help us, since we saved one of her house's stallions."
>Many of the knights exchanged glances
>There were murmurs of agreement
>Some of the other knights didn't seem to care all that much for the idea, however
>The talking grew louder and louder as the men discussed it
>Lord Aegis didn't pay it any mind
>With a grunt, he sat back into his chair
>He looked off into the distance, leaning oddly in his seat
>He rested his head in his hands, tapping a finger against his cheek
>Your lord stayed like this for what felt like half an hour until, with a sigh, he sat back up
>"Alright, I suppose we'll have to try that."
>The knights immediately went silent
>Lord Aegis shook his head
>"This... This is going to be a blighting shitshow," he said with a nod. "I hope our royal cunt knows what he's doing."
>He was silent for a few moments before making a noise of disgust
>"Blah, I'm sure I'll think of something. For now, Frutial, go and see if this castle has a smithy. My armor needs fixed, and I feel in these old bones that I'm going to need it very soon."