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Overlord. Comparing official and fan translations

Yoshiaki Mar 10th, 2018 (edited) 146 Never
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So as to be completely unbiased, I made a super literal translation without looking at the already existing translations. Though just a couple of pages are done here, I mentally followed the same process with pages from other volumes and the results are basically the same.

Main document dealing with how much Shalltear loves Ainz: https://pastebin.com/6XCWndr5

----------------------------------Volume 1----------------------------------

                                                      Page 1                                                       

少女とそれより幼い少女を前に、全身鎧に身を包んだ者は剣を振りかぶった。
一撃で命を奪うのが慈悲であるとでもいわんばかりに、大きく振り上げられた剣が日差しを反射しギラギラと輝く
少女は目を閉じた。その下唇を嚙み締めた表情は、決して望んでの姿ではない。ただ、どうしょう もなくてそれを受け入れたに過ぎない。もし少女に何らかの力があったなら、目の前の者に叩きつけ 逃がれただろう。
しかしI少女に力は無い。
だからこそ結末は一つしか残されていなかつた。
少女はここで死ぬ。
剣が振り下ろされ

Official translation

Before one girl and another even younger one stood a figure in full plate armor brandishing a sword.
The blade swung, sparkling in the sunlight as if to say that taking their lives in a single stroke would be an act of mercy.
The girl shut her eyes. She didn’t want to be biting her lower lip. She just had no choice but to accept what was about to happen. If she had even a little power, she probably would have been able to shove the figure away and escape…
But she was powerless.
And so there was only one ending.
She would die.
The blade came down—

Fan translation

The knight in full plate armor stood before the girl and her little sister, his sword raised high.
His blade gleamed in the sun, and he poised himself, ready to end their lives in a single merciful stroke.
The girl squeezed her eyes tightly shut and bit her lower lip. She had never asked for this. She had been forced into her present circumstances. If only she had some strength, she might have resisted the enemy in front of her and fled.
However — the girl did not have that strength.
Thus, there could only be one outcome to this situation.
That would be the girl’s death, at this very place. The longsword fell—

Word by word breakdown

The first word is always bold in each panel. Reason: pastebin format rules.

少女 young girl
and
それより even more
幼い少女 young girl
grammar marker
前に in front
全身鎧 full body armor
in
身を包んだ body wrapped in
person
subject marker
sword
grammar marker
振りかぶった。 to hold in the air (brandish)

Very literal translations all the time:

  • A person wrapped in full body armor, stood in front of a young girl and an even younger girl, and brandished his sword.
一撃 one attack
with
life
grammar marker
奪う steal(take)
のが grammar marker
慈悲 mercy
である is
とでも even
いわんばかりに as if saying
大きく large
振り上げられた raised above head
sword
grammar marker
日差し sunshine
grammar marker
反射 reflect
しギラギラと dazzling
輝く shining
少女 young girl
grammar marker
eyes
grammar marker
閉じた shut
  • As if saying, taking her life with one attack, is an act of mercy. The sun dazzlingly reflects off the raised sword, and the young girl shuts her eyes.
その that
下唇 lower lip
grammar marker
嚙み締めた bitten
表情 (facial) expression
subject marker
決して by no means
望んでの desired
姿 appearance
ではない is not
  • That bitten lower lip expression is by no means her desired appearance.
ただ Just
どうしょうもなくて without choice
それ that
grammar marker
受け入れた accepted
grammar marker
過ぎない。 nothing more
  • It’s nothing more than that she had no other choice than but to accept it.
もし if
少女 young girl
grammar marker
何らか some kind of
possessive marker
power
grammar marker
あった had
なら if
eye
possessive marker
in front
possessive marker
person
grammar marker
叩きつけ to thrust
逃がれた able to run away
だろう most likely
  • If the young girl had some kind of power, she would have been able to thrust that at the person in front of her and runaway.
しかし but
少女 young girl
grammar marker
power
subject marker
無い not have
  • But the young girl had no power.
だからこそ For this reason
結末 conclusion
subject marker
一つ one
しか nothing but
残されていなかつた。 to remain
  • For this reason there was nothing but one remaining conclusion.
少女 young girl
subject marker
ここ here
location marker
死ぬ die
  • The young girl will die here.
sword
grammar marker
振り下ろされ swing downward
  • The sword swings downward

                                                             Page 2                                                  

……痛みはいまだ来なかった。

ぐっと固く閉ざしていた瞼を開く。

少女の世界に最初に飛びこんで来たのは、振り下ろしかけて止まっている剣であった。

次に映ったのは剣の持ち主。

騎士はまるで凍りついたように動きを途中で止め、少女の横に注意を向けていた。その完全に無防備な姿は、騎士の内面の
驚きを強く体現していた。

騎士の視線に引きずられるように、少女も同じ方向に顔を向ける。

そして……絶望を見た。

そこには闇があった。

薄っぺらな、ただ、どこまで行っても終わりが無さそうな深みある漆黒。それが下半分を切り取った楕円の形で、地面から浮かび上がっていた。神秘的であると同時に、言葉に出来ないような強い不安を感じさせる光景。

扉?

Official translation

…The pain still hadn’t come.
She unscrunched her eyes.
The first thing she saw was the sword, stopped mid-swing.
The next was the figure holding the sword. The knight was practically frozen, looking at something off to her side. His unprotected stance manifested his internal shock.
The girl turned to follow his line of sight…
…and saw despair.
It was darkness.
A patch of raven black, ultrathin but so deep it seemed as if it went on forever. It was an oval rising up out of the ground, its bottom half cut off. It was a curious sight, but at the same time, it made her feel indescribably uneasy.
A door?

Fan translation

And yet there was no pain.
The girl gingerly opened the eyes which had been squeezed shut.
The first thing she saw was the suddenly motionless longsword.
Then, she saw the sword’s owner.
The knight in front of her was frozen in place, his eyes looking somewhere off to the girl’s side. His completely defenseless posture clearly displayed the fear that filled him.
As though drawn by the knight’s gaze, the girl could not help but turn and look in the same direction as him.
And so — the girl gazed upon despair.
What she saw was darkness.
It was an infinitesimally thin, yet unfathomably deep blackness. It was a halfoval of obsidian that seemed to protrude from the earth. It was a mysterious sight that filled the ones watching it with a powerful sense of unease.
Was it a door?

Word by word breakdown

……痛み pain
sentence marker
いまだ even now
来なかった。 hasn’t come
  • The pain hasn't come, even now.
ぐっと firmly
固く stiffly
閉ざしていた closed
eyelids
grammar marker
開く。 open
  • Firmly, stiffly closed eyelids, open.
少女 young girl
possessive marker
世界 world
to
最初 first
grammar marker
飛びこんで来た came jumping into
grammar marker
sentence marker
振り下ろしかけて in the middle of swinging downward​
止まっている stopped
sword
sentence marker
あった was
  • First came jumping into young girl’s world, was the sword stopped in the middle of swinging downward.
next
grammar marker
映った displayed
のは subject marker
sword
possessive marker
持ち主 owner
  • Displayed next was the owner of the sword.
騎士 knight
subject marker
まるで just like
凍りついた frozen
よう like
grammar marker
動き movement
grammar marker
途中 midway
grammar marker
止め stop
少女 young girl
possessive marker
next to
grammar marker
注意 attention
grammar marker
向けていた turned towards
  • The night just like he was frozen, stopped movement midway. Next to the young girl, he turned attention towards.
その that
完全 completely
grammar marker
無防備な defenseless
姿 appearance​
marker
騎士 knight​
possessive marker
内面 internal
possessive marker
驚き surprise
grammar marker
強く strongly
体現していた embodied
  • That completely defenseless appearance strongly embodied his internal surprise.

|騎士||knight|
|の| |possessive marker|
|視線| |line of sight|
|に| |grammar marker|
|引きずられる| |influenced|
|よう| |As if|
|に| |marker|
|少女| |young girl|
|も| |marker|
|同じ| |same|
|方向| |direction|
|に| |grammar marker|
|顔| |face|
|を| |grammar marker|
|向ける| |turn towards|

  • As if influenced by the knight’s line of sight, the young girl turned her face towards the same direction.
そして and thus
絶望 despair
grammar marker
見た saw
  • And thus saw despair.
そこ there
grammar marker
grammar marker
darkness
grammar marker
あった existed
  • Darkness existed there.
薄っぺらな shallow
ただ but just
どこまで no matter how far
行っても go
終わり ending
grammar marker
無さそうな seems not
深みある have depth
漆黒 jet black​
  • Shallow, but just, no matter how far you go, seemingly unending deep jet black.
それ That
grammar marker
下半分 lower half​
grammar marker
切り取った cut off
楕円 oval​
possessive marker
shape
grammar marker
地面 ground
から from
浮かび上がっていた rising
  • That was an oval shape with the lower half cut off, rising from the ground.
神秘的 mysterious
grammar marker
ある being
grammar marker
同時 same time
grammar marker
言葉 words
grammar marker
出来ない can put into
ような like
強い strong
不安 anxiety
grammar marker
感じさせる made feel
光景 sight
  • It was a mysterious sight, but at the same time, one that can’t be put into words, which made you feel a strong anxiety.

扉 = door
Door?

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