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Temple text w/ clown fight

LinkVIII Aug 1st, 2012 33 Never
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  1.  
  2. 11:53
  3. I found a crumpled scroll in my pocket this morning. I unrolled it, and it read 'join a society so secret that even they don't know they exist'. I don't remember agreeing to anything like that, but it's in my handwriting, so I suppose I've got to do it.
  4. 11:52
  5. Almighty god, please accept this sacrifice of 384 gold coins and make something good happen to me!
  6.  
  7. Praying to you and praising you, my Lord...
  8.  
  9. 11:49
  10. I found a beautiful princess, and we shared a long, soulful, romantic kiss... And then I woke up, with Dumbo licking my face.
  11.  
  12. Zzz...
  13.  
  14. 11:46
  15. Paid a guru 4154 gold coins to help me overcome my compulsive urge to waste money.
  16. 11:46
  17. How did I get here? No more drinking for me... today.
  18.  
  19. Trying to arrange a date, but being blatantly ignored...
  20. Trying to negotiate a 3 for 2 discount with the undertaker...
  21. Reading the gossip column of the Godville Times...
  22. Walking under ladders...
  23. Running around like a chicken with its head cut off...
  24. Converting beer into raw power...
  25. Going AWOL...
  26. Pouring out his troubles to a sympathetic bartender...
  27. (2 Charges)
  28.  
  29. 11:38
  30. Wow, there are loads of people praying in my temple! My god ought to get something special for this.
  31. 11:37
  32. Carefully placed the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all doors, and cut the ribbon in a stately manner with my sword. I can't believe it's finally happened! After all these months of work, the temple in your name is finished, my Lord! I feel crazy with happiness.
  33. 11:34
  34. I heard someone shouting from the trader's hut: 'Well I told you not to fight that one, but whatever. Your life at stake.' (➠)
  35.  
  36. Exhausted, finishing construction...
  37. Building sandcastles in the air...
  38. Realizing he had the temple blueprints upside down...
  39. Building a mock temple out of sand...
  40. Erasing the graffiti from the temple's walls...
  41. Carefully examining construction materials...
  42. Mixing mortar from gold dust...
  43. Chasing construction workers all over the place, threatening them with a bricklayer's trowel...
  44. Carefully examining construction materials...
  45. Thinking about how much these bricks cost and crying....
  46.  
  47. 11:24
  48. The golden brick was worth its weight in gold, assuming it weighed as much as the 949 coins the trader paid me for it.
  49. 11:23
  50. Whoa! My ear of the Ku Klux Clown sold for 1276 gold coins! If only I had more of those...
  51. 11:13
  52. Pilgrims paid me 3287 coins to enter my temple. It seems they don't care about the unfinished construction.
  53. 11:13
  54. Finally arrived at the capital.
  55.  
  56. Builder, 1st rank
  57. Have a personal temple completed
  58.  
  59. 11:06
  60. Though I was hoping that succeeding in my quest to build a food pyramid would win the respect and admiration of my peers, this gold brick will have to suffice.
  61. 11:05
  62. Took a ride on the back of my pet. I think that a solar bear is well suited for short rides.
  63. 11:05
  64. Notes from the battlefield: The Ku Klux Clown was used up for gold and experience! Time to return to my heroic deeds.
  65. 10:54
  66. Notes from the battlefield: The mighty Ku Klux Clown roars menacingly and rushes at the hero!
  67. 10:54
  68. This Ku Klux Clown has to be sacrificed in order to fear nothing but fear itself, and clowns. Chaaarge!
  69.  
  70. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  71.  
  72. Fight Journal (step 25)
  73. 22:54
  74. The mighty Ku Klux Clown roars menacingly and rushes at the hero!
  75. 22:55
  76. Ku Klux Clown prepared for a masterful strike, but all of a sudden, a bird flying overhead relieved itself, preventing the bloodshed.
  77. 22:55
  78. Diddy Kong used his “deafening snore” skill. Ku Klux Clown shuddered in fear.
  79. 22:55
  80. Ku Klux Clown jabbed Diddy Kong in the funny bone. Diddy Kong didn't laugh.
  81. 22:56
  82. Diddy Kong jabbed Ku Klux Clown in the funny bone. Ku Klux Clown didn't laugh.
  83. 22:56
  84. Diddy Kong grins with thrilling vigour as the omnipotent power of his god closes his wounds before Ku Klux Clown's eyes.
  85. 22:56
  86. Ku Klux Clown bites the opponent on his neck and smacks as it sucks out some of his vitality.
  87. 22:57
  88. Diddy Kong threw a good jab. Ku Klux Clown got a brand new shiner.
  89. 22:57
  90. Ku Klux Clown threw a punch. Diddy Kong caught it with his face.
  91. 22:57
  92. Something in the clouds roared: “Pray or heal. I don't want to use a charge for my, er, our last brick.”
  93. 22:57
  94. Unconventionally applying the “iron vortex” skill, Diddy Kong managed to tear off a piece of the enemy's health bar and stick it to his own.
  95. 22:58
  96. A booming voice from above said: “Pray or heal. I don't want to use a charge for my, er, our last brick.”
  97. 22:58
  98. Ku Klux Clown gleefully spit upon the opponent with poisonous saliva.
  99. 22:58
  100. Ku Klux Clown was blinded by the sun. Diddy Kong helped out by poking his opponent in the eye.
  101. 22:59
  102. Fred Flintstone painted a beautiful rainbow; a bridge of light arched down to his servant. Ku Klux Clown wheezed resentfully, watching as the enemy gets stronger.
  103. 22:59
  104. Ku Klux Clown took a hat in his hands and suddenly slammed it down on his enemy's head.
  105. 22:59
  106. Diddy Kong felt a sudden burst of energy and rushed towards the enemy, cheering at the heavens.
  107. 22:59
  108. A booming voice from above said: “Kill that clown for good. shout out to thegourdgod.”
  109. 22:59
  110. Politely inquiring about Ku Klux Clown's well-being, Diddy Kong insisted on giving him a free open-heart massage.
  111. 23:00
  112. Diddy Kong deftly dodged a strike to the knee by taking it with his head instead.
  113. 23:00
  114. A voice from the clouds suddenly said: “Kill that clown good!”
  115. 23:00
  116. Diddy Kong threw a bucket of water. Ku Klux Clown nearly drowned.
  117. 23:01
  118. Ku Klux Clown gleefully spit upon the opponent with poisonous saliva.
  119. 23:01
  120. Diddy Kong suddenly bit his enemy's ear, almost tearing his head off.
  121. 23:01
  122. The earth shook, the trees swayed... No, it's not an earthquake. It's Ku Klux Clown hammering the opponent into the ground.
  123. 23:02
  124. Diddy Kong suddenly bit his enemy's ear, almost tearing his head off.
  125. 23:02
  126. Ku Klux Clown suddenly felt better. Diddy Kong muttered mean things about his imprecise master.
  127. 23:02
  128. Ku Klux Clown aptly poked the enemy in the solar plexus, using his claw to make yet another hole in the hero's armor.
  129. 23:03
  130. Diddy Kong's wounds seemed to evaporate into thin air... Looks like all that praying paid off.
  131. 23:03
  132. Diddy Kong noticed that his rival was feeling some sort of pressure in the jaw area and used his fist to relieve it.
  133. 23:03
  134. Ku Klux Clown thoroughly whipped his opponent with a tail.
  135. 23:03
  136. Ku Klux Clown received a good blow to the face. Diddy Kong politely offered to pick up his broken teeth.
  137. 23:04
  138. Ku Klux Clown thoroughly whipped his opponent with a tail.
  139. 23:04
  140. Diddy Kong strikes. Ku Klux Clown appears to have received a serious scratch.
  141. 23:05
  142. Ku Klux Clown received a lightning bolt straight to his rear. Diddy Kong is prostrating, praising his god.
  143. 23:05
  144. Ku Klux Clown hissed loudly and waved at the opponent with a paw. Diddy Kong feels weird.
  145. 23:05
  146. The Ku Klux Clown was used up for gold and experience! Time to return to my heroic deeds.
  147. Monster
  148. Name
  149. Ku Klux Clown
  150. Motto
  151. Eat and destroy!
  152. Monster's Stats
  153. Inventory
  154. 0 / 34
  155. Health
  156. 0 / 335
  157. Gold
  158. none
  159. Inventory
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