My (37M) daughter (13F) just announced her stepdad (41M) was going to adopt her.

Basically when me and her mum split, I had to go home to the UK. Even though we've tried to have a relationship, its not been easy.

6 years ago, my ex met her now husband. Now I don't even get to see her (my daughter) once a year. Recently I've been lucky if it's twice a year due to the pandemic.

Last week, my daughter put on her Instagram that she wants her stepdad to adopt her and out this little sympathetic video asking him and everyone was going all googly eyes. Just like that. I called her out on it and even though she was sympathetic, she loves him and told me he's going to be her dad and told me he's going to adopt her.

I told her If I have my way I'm not going to give consent. But my ex sent me this long email asking me to reconsider telling me I should think about it and to give her up.

Edit why shouldn't I just go over and snatch her back?

So I've been looking into my options. I was talking to my folks about it and they said I should just agree to it. That if I want a relationship, I should concede. But I don't want to give her up.

But everyone - my daughter, ex, even my partner says I need to be realistic and give her up.

Edit a lot of people asked me "why did you leave.'

"You can't just up and live there because you feel like it. In order to do that, I'd have to have a desirable job that would get me a visa to live there (I don't, I'm a regular worker like a lot of people), have a lot of money to invest in their economy (I don't), marry an American (I was divorced from one so wasn't an option) or have one as family to sponsor you (which would be an option with my daughter but only when she's 21) ."

Should I?

Tldr: daughter wants stepdad to adopt her and I don't. Everyone says I should but if I don't could that be the end of it?