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nothing these fucking clowns can do or say will make me give a fuck knowing I wasn't able to self emancipate I've been angry my whole life and I've been working most of it unable to afford anything to actually relax or enjoy or bring fulfilment in my life so I've just been carrying persistent burden of being polite waiting 11 years to make an ad mute is it video and always waiting for an opportunity for myself to do something I'm actually volatile now I understand I keep getting these intrusive thoughts to just stab myself in my neck hopefully they keep harassing me because I know that's why they keep bothering me but keep causing damage until something or more  so be happy when they bother us next time knowing that they choreographed our situation and if we broke inside the house they could kick us out but out here it's just a ticket so let's tear it down
they don't and they won't ever understand how bothered we've been our entire life but that's no one's problem to give a fuck about and I know better than to complain to anybody about my problems bottle it up and explode on inanimate objects instead of people
if they keep this up not only will we never be in a relationship will never have anybody to talk to and we always end up having to break stuff at least we won't get upset at things we'll get upset at our boundaries being crossed knowing they need to break and constantly harass our boundaries to get a reality that they need and as they do that they'll expose themselves and put themselves into bullshit situations
I came here alone to do my therapy and someone forcefully made me their friend and I have to keep being polite
at least we have somewhere where we can share our thoughts
this is everything I need to say and it wouldn't have been enough luckily I already smashed another thing