Saint_Dane

Purple is the new Black. #1

Feb 2nd, 2014
332
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 3.81 KB | None | 0 0
  1. >Waking up in the middle of a field, you feel lighter for some reason.
  2. >Checking for your weapons, the only one you find, is your faithful Penetrator.
  3. >Ahh your giant purple dildo bat.
  4. >You remember killing some good civilians with it.
  5. "What the fuck happened this time?"
  6. >You ask yourself.
  7. >Equipping your bat, you walk in whatever direction you want, because you know, you're a goddamn billionaire.
  8. >Sucks that you don't have anyone to talk to, preferably someone you give a fuck about, sooo, anyone but Pierce.
  9. >Fuck Pierce.
  10. >Probably his fault you're here, that black motherfucker.
  11. >A while later, you hear, "Umm, e-excuse m-me mr a-ape thing, where are y-you g-going?"
  12. >Looking around, the only thing you notice one animal.
  13. "Hey small horse, who said that?"
  14. >Somehow it looks offended, "You may be frightening, but you don't h-have to be mean."
  15. >It just fuckin talked, a talking horse. What the blueberry fuck is going on here?
  16. >"I m-mean, if you're going to call me anything, call me a pony, but my name is Fluttershy."
  17. >She's still talking?
  18. "Hey, horse. I don't know where the fuck I am right now. If I did, the world would already idolize me."
  19. >Meh, you met one person who didn't know your name, he should remember with it engraved in his chest.
  20. >You put your hand out.
  21. "Name's Anon, but most just call me Boss."
  22. >She reluctantly shakes you hand with a "hoof".
  23. >As soon as you establish a small street gang, first, celebrity, next, world leader.
  24. >But first, gain the ponys trust.
  25. "So, Butterfly, what do you ponies do for fun here?"
  26. >"Umm, actually my name is Fluttershy." she tries to correct
  27. "Sure it is, now what usually happens here, gang fights, drive-bys, gameshow that lets you kill people for money?"
  28. >She looks terrified, "Why would you kill others for money!?" she asks.
  29. "Hey, someone's gotta entertain a gangland city."
  30. >God, how can these ponies not enjoy a good ol' cold-blooded murder?
  31. >She's awfully quiet for the rest of the trip, was it something you said?
  32. >She must be like that one girl you met as a kid, you don't think she like all the murdering.
  33.  
  34. *Five minutes later*
  35.  
  36. >Arriving in a small village full of ponies, she leaves you at a large tree-house.
  37. >You remember your first tree-house, you hated it, you burnt it down with the neighborhood bully in it, no one fucked with you again.
  38. >Well you were sent to a correctional facility about twenty miles in all directions to civilization.
  39. >It sucked.
  40. >Knocking on the door it opens to a small horse with a horn on her head.
  41. >Walking past her you say.
  42. "Yo bitch, Shutterflutter told me to talk to you."
  43. >You sit down on her couch, getting used to all the books on the walls.
  44. >Must be a library, you remember when you burnt down that cities library, along with half of it too.
  45. >Easy to say, they didn't want you to be president.
  46. >You realise that you burnt down alot of buildings as a kid.
  47. >Exiting the thoughts you look at lavender librarian.
  48. >She looks at you strangely, as if you had three heads.
  49. "What?"
  50. >She continues to stare.
  51. >What are you looking at?
  52. "What da fuck you lookin' at bitch!?"
  53. >You hear, "Nope!" just before you teleport.
  54. >Ughh, it feels like Pierce gave you one of his fruity drinks he mixes, and forced you to drink it.
  55. >You find yourself infront of what looks like a bakery.
  56. >Something doesn't feel right.
  57. >Using your detection skills, you snap to face a mint colored pony.
  58. >She flinches when you trn but sit still afterwards.
  59. >She just sits there and stares at you.
  60. >Very awkwardly you might add.
  61. "Hey, if you keep looking at me like that, there will be a baseball bat entering your ass-hole."
  62. >You say holding your dildo-bat in one hand and pointing at her with your right index finger.
  63. >She gets the message and starts to run away.
  64. >You turn to enter the bakery not knowing it to be one of the worst things you could do in small horse world.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment