STatG

Trent Goes to Hatecurlingville

NOTE: Hatecurlingville is the largest city in the (fictional) country of Wackadoodleland. (The capital of Wackadoodleland is Wackytown.) Hatecurlingville's population is 52.7 million. The city was planned, down to the last detail, many years ago by Joseph John Hatecurling.



(Quiet street)

(Trent Coleman the lucky black cat exits his solid gold house)

Sonic: Hello there. You must be Trent.
Trent: That's right. I'm new here.
Sonic: I am Sonic the hedgehog, your next-door neighbor. And I will show you around. First, we shall see my house.

(Sonic's house)

Sonic: I'd like you to meet my family. This is my mother, Bernadette Aleena, and my siblings Sonia and Manic.
Trent: It's nice to meet you.

(Colby crawls up)

Sonic: And this is Colby. We found him on the street, and he thinks I'm his father.
Trent: He sure is cute. Can you take him to visit me sometime?
Sonic: Sure, I think he'd like that. Now, I'll take you to meet Tails and Tiffani. They live in the house next door to me.

(The next house)

(Trent rings the doorbell; Tails answers)

Tails: Hello there. So you're Trent, our new friend.
Trent: That's right. And you must be Tails. Sonic told me all about you on the phone last night.

(Tiffani comes up behind Tails. She's an Arctic fox wearing a plain, white diaper.)

Trent: You're Tiffani, aren't you?
Tiffani: That's right.
Trent: It's very nice to meet you. (notices Tiffani's diaper) Say, why are you wearing a diaper?
Tiffani: I became incontinent not too long ago. I'm still getting used to diapers, and I can't change myself yet.
Trent: So I'm not the only one.
Tails: Why does that matter?
Trent: Back home, my siblings and I used to be teased about our incontinence.
Sonic: That will never happen here. It's illegal to tease anyone about anything. If someone teases you, they will immediately be arrested and you will get compensation.
Tails: Our mayor, Stella Smith, cares very much about everyone's feelings. She's had 30 billion listening devices installed all over Hatecurlingville, including every home and business. Or so they thought. But they forgot to bug our house for some reason. Also, she didn't have surveillance cameras installed in houses. They're only in public places. Anyway, would you care to meet my family?
Trent: Yes, certainly. Thanks for asking.

(Living room)

Tails: Family, this is our new friend Trent. Trent, these are my parents, Amadeus and Rosemary Prower, and my siblings Alexander, Mimi, Miranda, and Harley. Tiffani is just my friend who lives with us.
Tiffani: In fact, I don't have a last name.
Trent: Who changes your diapers, Tiffani?
Tiffani: Oh, anyone who wants to.
Rosemary: Usually, I do. I can't make anyone else, because that would be a violation of Wackadoodleland's federal labor laws.
Tails: I sometimes change Tiffani on my own free will, but that's technically illegal too, so please don't tell anyone.
Trent: How is that illegal?
Tails: Here, you have to be over 22 to do work or chores of any kind.
Mimi: Also, no one can make anyone do anything.
Alexander: And you have to be even older - 32 - to vote here, or get a paying job. I can remember when neither of our parents were old enough.

(Trent is shocked)

Alexander: We had to live with our grandparents until I was about six years old. We moved out shortly before Miranda was born.
Miranda: But we still visit them every so often. They're just a short drive away.
Tails: As I was saying, there are also laws requiring respect wherever possible.
Tiffani: For example, if someone changes their mind about something, you have to respect it if possible.
Amadeus: So if Tails suddenly wanted to go back to wearing diapers, we'd have to let him.
Miranda: Harley has already decided that he's never going to toilet-train.
Rosemary: It's also illegal to cancel things unless absolutely necessary. If anything, you have to postpone them. And even then, you must compensate anyone affected by this.
Tails: And possibly best of all, the Wackadoodleland National Constitution can only be amended in our favor. So the government can give us more rights and freedoms, but once they're added, they can never be repealed.
Alexander: By the way, we have a diapering machine, but it only changes Harley. Tails usually diapers himself.

(Trent does a double-take)

Trent: Wait, you wear diapers, Tails? But your father just said you didn't. I'm confused.
Tails: I do wear them, but only at night. I wet the bed, you see.
Trent: Yes, I understand. Why doesn't the machine change your diapers, Tiffani?
Tiffani: It just doesn't seem right to be diapered by a machine. I think it's dishonest, somehow.

(Later)

Sonic: Now, we're going to take you to meet Knuckles and the Chaotix.

(At the house next to Trent's, on the other side from Sonic's house)

Knuckles: Hello, guys. (to Trent) You must be Trent the lucky black cat. I am Knuckles the echidna, and these are my friends Espio, Charmy, Vector, Mighty, Ray, and Julie-Su.
Sonic: Say, knucklehead, where did Heavy and Bomb go?
Knuckles: They're out right now. It's too bad they're both mute, or they would probably have told us what they were doing.
Sonic: Oh well, I'm sure we'll see them next time we're here.
Knuckles: Thanks for dropping by.
Sonic: Now, we're going to meet Amy.

(At the pink house across the street, Tails rings the doorbell and Amy's mother, Sarah Rose, answers)

Sarah: Hello, gang. Who's your new friend?
Sonic: This is Trent the black cat.
Tails: We're looking for Amy. Do you know where she is?
Sarah: She's in her room, and I'm not allowed to go in there uninvited. That would be trespassing, which is almost as illegal as crossdressing.
Sonic: But you're her mother.
Sarah: Even parents aren't exempt from Hatecurlingville's Trespassing Act. In fact, if the victim is close family, that only makes it more illegal. And I can't ask Stella Smith about it because it's illegal to disagree with or even question her laws.
Trent: Well, some of these laws are a little weird.
Tails: No, they're perfectly sensible. These laws are meant to be respectful of everyone's feelings and basic freedoms, such as freedom of religion. For example, it's illegal for anyone to force anyone else to do anything. Some of them aren't even unique to Hatecurlingville, or to Wackadoodleland.
Trent: They're not?
Tails: No. My parents are Christians, and I go to church with them each Sunday, but none of my siblings do. It's legally their choice alone. Forcing a religion on someone - especially a member of your own family - is illegal everywhere on the planet.
Rosemary: That's right, they're very clear on that. According to the UN, "freedom of religion" applies not only under courts of law, but also under third parties such as families.
Sonic: Tails, aren't you sad that your siblings and friends will go to Hell?
Tails: They won't. I want them to go to Heaven, and I'd be sad without them, so if I go to Heaven, so will they. There's no sadness in Heaven, so of course they'll all be there.
Sonic: Is that really how it works?
Tails: Yes. The Bible doesn't say that, and it also doesn't say anything against it, but I sent every church in Hatecurlingville an email asking about it, and they all agree. Even Eggman would go to Heaven if I wanted him to ... which I do.

(Amy comes out of her bedroom)

Amy: Hello there. (notices Trent) So you're Trent the lucky black cat?
Trent: Yes, I sure am.
Amy: Sonic told me about you on the phone.
Trent: Would you care to see my place?
Sonic: Sure. Thanks for asking.
Tails: But first, let's meet the rest of the gang.
Sonic: Say, where's Ju-Saami?
Sarah: She's in her room, too.
Trent: Who is Ju-Saami?
Sonic: (to Trent) Ju-Saami is Amy's sister.
Sarah: Ju-Saami and Amy are my babies.

(Ju-Saami comes out of her room. She's a little taller than Amy, and wears only a yellow shirt and a diaper.)

Sarah: You can see why I call them my babies. It's because I change their diapers.

(Amy lifts her dress to reveal a thick, pink diaper.)

Amy: (proudly) I have never sat on a toilet in my life.
Sarah: I also have a young daughter named Tammy Rose, but she's napping right now.

(Outside a house down the street, near the end of the block)

Sonic: This house belongs to our friend Blaze Azuka, and her family. Blaze's lover, Silver, also lives here.
Tails: Remember the saying "Blaze the cat is where it's at"? That phrase is about our friend.

(Sonic rings the doorbell and Blaze answers)

Blaze: Hello there, you guys.
Trent: Hi, Blaze. I'm Trent the lucky cat.
Blaze: You sure are, if you're meeting us. Please take the time to meet my love interest, Silver D., and my family. Our house is occupied by four generations.

(On their way to the living room, they see Silver in the front hall)

Blaze: Hi, Silver.
Silver: Hey, Blaze. Who's your new friend.
Blaze: This is Trent. Say, Trent, would you like to meet my family?
Trent: Sure. Thanks for asking.

(She leads the way to the living room; most of the cats in there have blue fur, except for Blaze's mother, Lydia Fireball-Azuka, who is bright red)

Blaze: These are my parents Lydia and Norbert, my grandparents Melissa and Hideo, and my great-grandparents Miharu and Hideaki.
Trent: It's nice to meet all of you.
Lydia: Thanks.
Sonic: Silver, we're going to introduce Trent to the rest of the gang. Would you and Blaze like to come along?
Blaze: Thanks, but no thanks. We have a dinner date at the most expensive restaurant in Hatecurlingville.

(Later; Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Tiffani, Amy, and Trent are standing outside another house on the same block)

Sonic: Trent, we've met a lot of my friends. Would you like to meet Cream next?
Trent: Yes, thank you very much.
Sonic: You'll like Cream. Her mother, Vanilla, babies her.
(Tails rings the doorbell on the house, and Vanilla answers, carrying Cream)
Trent: Hi, you two. I am your new friend, Trent the lucky black cat.
Knuckles: (Notices that Cream is only wearing a diaper) Vanilla, doesn't Cream need clothes?
Vanilla: No, Cream doesn't wear clothes anymore. She prefers having just a diaper on, and I don't enjoy dressing her. We get along fine.
Trent: I see.
Vanilla: And I wear diapers too, mostly because I am incontinent, but also because there's no toilet in our house. The last people who lived here must have dismantled the bathroom. If we had moved here before I divorced Ice, we would have had a toilet installed. You couldn't pay him to wear diapers.
Sonic: Who's Ice?
Vanilla: Oh, I thought I told you guys. Ice is Cream's father. I divorced him because we didn't agree on how Cream should be raised. He thought Cream should be toilet trained at the age of three, but I wanted to keep her diapered. With Ice out of the picture, I decided that Cream should not only be diapered forever, but also babied.

(She puts Cream on the grass)

Cream: Hi guys!
Sonic: Hello, Cream. (hugs her)

(Cheese and Chocola fly out the front door and rest on the grass near Cream.)

Cheese: Chao! Chao!
Tiffani: Knuckles, why would you think Cream would need clothes? All I have on is a diaper.
Knuckles: I guess I'm just used to seeing Cream clothed. You, on the other hand, used to go naked like Sonic, Tails, and I.

(Later)

Sonic: I guess we've met the closest of our friends, except for Mina, who is on a concert tour, and Sally, who is on vacation with her family.
Tails: Wait, we haven't met Kilo yet.
Tiffani: Say, where is Kilo this morning?
Sonic: (looking around) I don't see him.

(Tails notices Kilo in the distance. He's an orange macro fox, about ten stories tall, and wears a blue shirt, a diaper, and red shoes.)

Tails: There he is, everyone! Hi, Kilo!
Kilo: (walks up to them) Hi, friends. (pets them)
Sonic: We'd like to hang out together. Care to join us? We could go to your house.
Kilo: Thanks, but I have plans tonight. Maybe we could hang out some other time.

(He walks away.)

Trent: Where does Kilo live?
Sonic: He lives in a house that was built for him in the center of the city, near Gibbledy Square.
Trent: I see. So, guys, want to hang out at my place?

(Later, at Trent's solid gold mansion, Sonic, Colby, Trent, Tails, Tiffani, Knuckles, Amy, Vanilla, and Cream are hanging out. Trent is standing with four other black cats.)

Trent: These are my siblings, Olivia, Jake, Sierra, and Timmy.
Sonic: It's nice to meet all of you.
Vanilla: I have a date with Vector at 4:30. I guess I'd better go. Can I trust you with Cream?
Trent: Of course. Thanks for asking.
Vanilla: Please remember that she enjoys being babied.
Tails: We will.

(Vanilla runs out the door.)

Amy: Let's surprise Vanilla when she gets back.
Trent: I know just the thing. We can cook her a chicken, using my own secret recipe.

(A few minutes later, Trent is putting the chicken into the oven)

Sonic: I'd better leave. I promised Colby he'd get to visit you without me, and he's been excited about it.
Knuckles: And I have some stuff to do with my friends, the Chaotix Crew.

(They both leave.)

Trent: Okay, now it's just us.
Tails: I think I'll put my nighttime diaper on now ... five hours early.
Trent: At my place, you don't have to put it on yourself. We have a machine that does it.
Tails: So do we, but I didn't know you did.
Trent: Oh, sure. I invented the diapering machine. I also have my own brand of diapers. They're odor-proof. That is, they don't smell when used.
Tails: All diapers are odor-proof in Hatecurlingville. I think it might be a law.

(The machine puts a diaper on Tails.)

Tiffani: Could one of you please change me if I wet myself? As I said before, I don't use the machine at home because it doesn't seem right.
Tails: I'll be glad to change you, Tiffani.

(Tails hugs Tiffani, and then they both crinklewag.)

Tiffani: Thank you, Tails. You're the greatest friend I could ever know. (she notices that her diaper is sagging) Could you please change me now, Tails?
Tails: Of course, friend.

(He changes her)

Tiffani: Thanks, Tails. (hugs him after the change)

(That evening, Sonic, Knuckles, Vanilla, Silver, Blaze, and the Chaotix all enter Trent's house. Trent serves everyone some chicken.)

(The next day, the group goes to Gibbledy Square.)

Sonic: We'd like to show you Gibbledy Square.
Tails: It's the "hot spot" where everything happens in Hatecurlingville.
Trent: Well, thanks, guys. It sure looks interesting.
Sonic: That big building in the middle is the Event Building. It has hundreds of rooms of many different sizes, and for a small fee, you can book a room for the event of your choosing.
Tails: This government service is so popular that there are no taxes at all in Wackadoodleland.
Amy: So, what do you think of Hatecurlingville?
Trent: It looks and sounds like a nice place to live. I think I'll love it here.
Sonic: So do we. The only problem is Eggman, our main enemy. He seeks world domination.
Tails: But because he's a villain, he always loses.
Knuckles: If he ever won, "Sonic, Tails, and The Gang" wouldn't be family-friendly.
Sonic: And it always will be.
Trent: I see.