Married Nerd

>Be Rainbow Dash
>It was another day of you being freakin' awesome
>You had just come home from a Wonderbolts event in Manehattan
>It had been a awesome, wild couple of days
>Now back in Ponyville, you had decided to talk to regale your sis's on some of the trip's highlights
>Applejack was too busy with her apples, Flutter would just get all red and run away, Pinkie would be... Pinkie
>So you had gotten the Rarity and Twilight in on the play/action movie/masterpiece that was the telling of your life
"--And I'm telling you, two of these colts just flicked up their tails! You could see their sheaths and everything!"
>Both Rarity and Twilight were sitting with you right outside of Sugarcube Corner
>You could tell they were holding back their excitement as you wove your masterful tale as Rarity ate her cupcake and Twi ate her stupid celery and drank her sissy water
>You, being as awesome as you were, didn't bother to call them out on it either
>You didn't want to make them feel even worse
"Another one of these sluts even got Fleetfoot to sign his flank! It was bucking awesome!"
>Chuckling to yourself, you leaned back into your chair
"I'm telling ya, the next time we go to Manehattan remind me to bring my flight suit. I put that baby on we're all drowning in cock."
>You eyed Twilight as she took another bite out of her celery, not looking very happy about it
>A small, teasing grin came to your face
"Except, you know, Twilight here," you said, leaning over to nudge her. "What with her being married and all..."
>Rarity frowned, already onto you
>"Dash..." she said
>"It's fine, Rarity," Twilight said, waving her off. " I don't need to be "swimming in cock". I have one that suits me just fine."
>She reached up to touch the ring on her horn
>You frowned at the sight of it
"I don't know what the heck you were thinking, Twi," you said. "Anon's real nice and all, but don't you think you'd want to ENJOY yourself just a little before getting hitched?"

>Rarity let out a groan
>You ignored her, spreading your hooves out wide
"I mean, you're a PRINCESS now. If you wanted you could get laid more than me! All you'd need to do is stomp your hoof and colts would be lined up down the street!"
>For a second, you just imagined it
>Twi could have gotten you into any club
>She would talk to every hot and famous colt out there
>Holy hayseed, she could have had a sex dungeon built in her basement with its own colt harem
>A harem that YOU could have used!
>But no
>She had to be dull and boring...
>No partying, no three-ways with supermodels
>Just one tall, weird-looking stallion forever and ever
>You let Twi think it all over for a few seconds, kinda hoping for an epiphany
>But, of course, she just looked at you with an annoyed frown
>"I never wanted any of that, Rainbow," she said. "You know that. And I AM having fun with my husband."
>You snorted
"Yeah, you look like you're having a blast," you said, gesturing toward the pile of celery in front of her. "Going on your little diet and all..."
>Twilight's nose scrunched up
>"Anon and I decided that we both needed to lose a little weight. What's wrong with that?"
>"Absolutely nothing, darling," Rarity said, giving you the stink eye. "There's never any shame in tuning up one's physique."
"Anon and you didn't decided to lose some weight. Bucking Anon did," you said, ignoring Rarity's statement entirely. "That's how stallions getcha. First it's some fooling around, then it's "I love you" and all of that bunch of horse apples, then it's you being miserable and fat while some whale of a stallion picks fights with you over who left the seat down."
>Twilight shook her head
>"It's not like that. At all."
>Your eyes narrowed
"Really? Well, it might not be like that now but I bet my feathers you'll--"
>"There you are!"
>You and Twilight jumped in surprise
>Looking over, you saw Anon making his way over toward you, a great big dumb smile on his weird flat face

>You couldn't help but shiver when you saw his teeth
>Mare... those were some weird bucking chompers...
>Twilight perked up, standing up in her chair as he made his way over toward her, a brown paper bag in one arm
>The two nuzzled, kissed, then hugged
>You couldn't help but gag as the two muttered mushy stuff to each other
>Breaking the hug, Anon stood back up
>"Rainbow, Mrs. Rarity, how are you two doing today?"
>Rarity smiled
>"I've been wonderful, dear. How about yourself."
>"I've been good," Anon replied, looking down at his...
>Ugh
>His wife...
>"Hey Twi, I know you've been miserable on this diet, so I figured that since we've been doing this for a month you deserve a little treat~"
>Reaching into his paper bag, he pulled out a tub of ice cream
>Twi's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates
>"Cookies n' Creme...?" she whispered
>Anon nodded, his creepy grin widening
>"Yep. This morning I found an old hard drive filled with nothing but documentaries about back home. I kicked Starlight and Spike out of the house for the night and ordered us a couple of pizzas. You and me are having some fun, sister."
>With a happy cry, Twilight leapt out of her chair
>Flapping her wings, she slammed into her husband, who let out a laugh as the nerd started kissing and crawling all over him
>Eventually, she situated herself on Anon's back, her forelegs hooked around his shoulders and her head on top of his
>"Girls, I think I'm gonna have to cut this short," she said, nuzzling Anon's hair. "Me and the hubby have a date night."
>Rarity giggled
>"Well, don't let us keep you," she said, shooing them away. "You two have a wonderful evening."
>Giggling to herself, Twilight murmured something in Anon's ear
>Whatever it was had him laughing
>The two shared a quick kiss before the big colt turned away and made his way down the street, still holding his bag
>You watched the two of them, frowning hard

>Twilight, just to add insult to injury, looked back at you, sticking her tongue out
>...
>Rarity looked over at you, sipping her drink
>"Aren't they cute together? Almost like your mother and father, no?"
"...Shut up."