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That_Happy_Guy

[FR] Day Pet peeve

Aug 21st, 2013
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  1. >Day Pet peeve in Equestria.
  2. >It's that time of the day again.
  3. >Time to browse the small contents of your fridge before realizing you don't have enough to make anything.
  4. >Then you'll decide to go shopping, forget to make a list, say fuck it and eat out, return home and forget your fridge is near empty until tomorrow.
  5. >Good times.
  6. >Consistent too.
  7. >Now, let's open this bitch up and...
  8. >There is an empty carton of orange juice in your fridge.
  9. >Why is there an empty carton of orange juice in your fridge?
  10. >You don't drink orange juice, why the actual fuck is there a fucking empty carton of god damn orange juice in your fucking fridge?!?
  11. >Who has the balls to leave a piece of shit empty carton in your fridge?!
  12. >Why is this making you so angry?!
  13. >Wondering why it's making you angry only pisses you off more!
  14. >*Knock knock knock*
  15. >Aaaand now you have a fucking visitor while you are raging.
  16. >Calm down... they don't deserve your wrath, they didn't place the garbage in your fridge.
  17. >Unless it's that fucking Pegasus again...
  18. >Go to answer the door.
  19. “Hello th-...”
  20. >”Hi Anon!”
  21. >Rainbow Dash is in front of you house, drinking a cup of orange juice while she is wearing a pirate outfit.
  22. >”So... are pi-”
  23. “Did you leave an empty carton of orange juice in my fridge?”
  24. >The mare gives you a blank stare before a small smile crosses her face.
  25. >”Is it your fetish?”
  26. >If you say no she'll deny it, but if you say yes she'll instantly say she did it...
  27. “Maybe it is. There are stranger fetishes.”
  28. >She thinks for a moment before finishing her devil juice.
  29. >”All right. You caught me, I did it.”
  30. >The cunt.
  31. “Rainbow?”
  32. >”Yes my sweet little human?”
  33. >Her eyes go half lidded as she believes she has won your hot monkey dick.
  34. “Can you step inside for a moment?”
  35. >The cyan Pegasus rushes into your house, you close the door behind her.
  36.  
  37.  
  38. “Heheheh, ooh, what's he going to do now?”
  39. >Anon has just closed his door after inviting that little flying rat into his house.
  40. >After a brief moment of silence, the house is filled with crashes and screams.
  41. >”DON”T YOU DARE FUCKING RUN YOU BITCH!”
  42. >The mare is zooming around the house as Anon tosses his furniture at her.
  43. “PFFFFFFFFFT!”
  44. >You can barely contain yourself as you gaze at the sight through a pair of binoculars.
  45. >”Anon! I lied! I-I didn't place the carton in your fridge! Honest!”
  46. >The monkey won't have any of it, lifting his couch to toss at the mare.
  47. “Oh Discord you sly bastard you!”
  48. >After giving yourself a congratulatory pat on the back, you take a clawful of popcorn and stuff your face.
  49. >Anon continues to assault the mare for a good hour before she breaks through his roof.
  50. “Ahhh, fucking idiots. Your simple problems can bring out such entertaining results!”
  51. >Just as you turn to leave, something hits you in the back of the head.
  52. “Ow! Dammit all!”
  53. >Looking down, you see the carton you zapped into Anon's fridge.
  54. >”I”LL FUCKING KILL YOU NEXT TIME RAINBOW DASH!”
  55. >He must have tossed it after the mare broke his roof.
  56. >Still, that fucking hurt.
  57. “Grr, fucking human.”
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