A Not So Perfect Date

A Not So Perfect Date
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A Not So Romantic Romance Story by Vivid Lucidity
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Non vore, non-lewd, romance, oblivious crushing, maw play, kissing, dating
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There's nothing like a night on the town with a nice girl, is there? At least you hope so as you stand on the edge of the street in front of your apartment, bundle of roses in your hand like a dork. Maybe she’ll think it’s old fashioned? Gosh, you hope the girl you're going out with likes them. Then again, knowing your luck, they'll probably be allergic and sneeze with enough force to level a building.

The worst part is that the last statement isn't that much of an exaggeration. There's no denying it, you're not very lucky in love. Date after date turned into disaster after disaster, yet by goodness, you kept at it, didn't you? Never let it get to you despite all the failures and heart-break. Unfortunately, while Seattle is a big city, the pool of girls interested in a hook-up quickly diminished after news of your exploits and failures spread.

So, you went online, looking for love, hoping to find a nice girl that wasn’t in a porno. Somehow you managed to find a strike with a girl called "Crystal" (strange name), who was nice, sweet, bubbly, and very interested in you. You'd never forget her little quote at the top of her page: 'I'm a girl with a big heart looking for big love!'. How adorable.

You talked a bit and really hit it off. You became online friends instantly. They just seemed so loveable, so likeable, so energetic! They also seemed to be about as lucky in love as you were, having never gone on a date herself. Something about fear of rejection and ‘fear of property damage’ (the second part really confused you). Sure, they didn't share a picture, but they seemed nice enough, and the dating service had safeguards in place. And at the very least, the meetup was on a public street, so nothing dodgy could happen, right?

Fears assuaged (somewhat), you just stand there and wait for her to arrive. She said in the text she was coming on foot. As you wonder what she looks like, and what the date is going to be like, a tremble shoots through the ground. Immediately your heart skis a beat, thinking of an earthquake, until another one followed. Louder and louder the pounding grew, but you just roll your eyes, feeling a bit silly for getting worked up. It wasn't an earthquake, but just one of those giantesses that had been on the planet for the last few months.

You know, the ones that showed up from space and pledged to protect the Earth from any meanies? The ones with blue skin, fifty feet (15 metres to the rest of the world) of size, and an annoying tenacity that wouldn't go away?

Why, just this morning, you read an article about how the city of Christchurch settled a rather interesting court case. It involved a wrongly accused man, several hundred thousand dollars’ worth of damage, a very cross kiwifruit stand owner, and a slightly ditzy giantess named Bekky.

You don’t know?! Go and read “Giant Alien QT on Patrol” by Vivid Lucidity, then come back and read this story! It’s based on a true story you know, in that there’s a real city called Christchurch…

Anyway, your city of Seattle had a giantess police officer too, and you didn't really mind her. You never saw much of her, and to be frank, you just adjusted to having her around. You didn't think much about her. But it seemed that you're going to get a glimpse of her as the pounding gets louder and louder; she's approaching. As you lean back against the wall, hoping she doesn't scare off your date somehow, you try to remember the officer's name. It's just on the tip of your tongue, Candy, Calista, oh yeah, that's right, her name is Crystal...

Oh crud.

Your smile drops, and a large shadow looms over you. Looking up, you see a ceiling of red satin stretch over you as the giantess steps over the apartment block. Two heels slam into the street ahead of you, pointed tips spearing the ground, while a carpet of that same red fabric billows across the street. As if taken with a strong wind it ripples and blows as she turns around, before leaning down, hands on her knees, and looks you dead in the eye.

"Hello!" she quips with a cute little wave, beaming her head off. "I'm your date for tonight!"

Welp, you really entered the dating pool slow, didn't you? Good luck woman/man, you’re going to need it...

Your mind isn't working quite right to be honest. First things first, her looks, and truth be told, she isn't that bad! She's wearing a billowing red dress, with fancy heels, golden bracelets and a purse slung over her arms. Her face is soft, angelic, and she brushes a lock of dark hair out of her eye. She's pretty. Unfortunately, she's five stories tall.

This fact slightly unnerves you as you try to say hello back, only to gulp and blubber like a blob-fish out of water. This goes on for about ten seconds (although to you it felt like an hour), while she looks at you with that same smile. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to notice. But just as you're about to find your voice, she returns with hers.

"Too nervous to speak?" she quips, voice ringing in your ears. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you, my cute little human! I didn’t know you were this small, I thought you were a giant too, silly me! But no matter, I'll be sure to give you a perfect little date, my perfect little human! Here we go!"

Before you can react, she reaches out with her hand and grabs you around the chest. It isn't too tight, but you're still squirming like a freak as she lifts you up while standing. You're afraid of heights! But she doesn't notice, plopping you on her shoulder like you're a little parrot. As soon as her fingers let go you grip onto her shoulder tight, sitting awkwardly while trying not to look down. Try looking at her face, maybe that'll help? You do and get to see her white teeth beam back.

"D'aww, you look so cute! I hope you enjoy our date tonight!"

With that she's off, stepping through the city like a girl on a mission. Every step causes you to lurch up and down like a boat on a storm, but it actually isn't that bad. It's quite manageable really. Unfortunately, you're still terrified and desperately trying to think of a way out of this. You have no hope with a girl of this size. You try and speak up and tell her that there must be some mistake. This couldn’t be your online friend, this couldn’t be that girl you knew! But again, before you can get a word in, she's talking away in her same excited tone of voice.

"So, I've got the perfect night planned for us. I've watched all the movies, so I know exactly how to have the perfect little date! Step One: the park!"

Before you know what's happening, she grabs you again and lowers you back down to the floor. With shaking everything, you pull yourself up off the ground, and see you're in a nice, grassy park. A large concrete path winds through it, and Crystal is currently taking up the entire width. A quick glance shows there's a few people around, who fortunately (or unfortunately?), are leaving rather quickly. Oh, on the plus side, you still have that bundle of roses gripped tight in your left hand. So that’s good…

Crystal leans down and offers her hand out to you. Well, to say hand, it's more her index finger, but that's about as wide as you. You look up to her quizzically, while she just glances down at you and her finger, as if trying to tell you something.

"Oh my dear love~" she says, taking on a somewhat Southern Belle accent. "Won't you accompany on this journey through the lovely park?"

You stare quizzically at her, the shock impeding your higher order thinking abilities. After a few seconds, she rolls her eyes.

"You're supposed to grab my finger, silly." She whispers, not annoyed, but more confused than anything. "That's how perfect dates go for humans, right?"

You gulp hard and reach up to grab her finger. It's a wide stretch for your fingers, but you still manage to hold on. With a seductive wink she sets off down the path and you follow suit. She's actually quite graceful, despite her awkward crouch to reach down to you, keeping her finger nice and steady for you. It's not that bad!

Sure, she often struggled to keep on the path since she's always looking at you, and a few benches got splattered beneath her feet, but she didn't seem to mind. You could tell she noticed by the flinch of her body, but she would always follow it up with a nervous smile, as if she didn't want you to notice it. As if she wished it didn't happen, because it was unromantic, and so tried to cover it up. But there was no denying it, she left a long trail of splintered wood behind her.

Yet you're still somewhat terrified. You're still having a date with a fifteen-metre giantess even though you're the kind of guy/girl that screws up a date with a normal sized woman. Right now, you're trying to cross the English Channel when you can't even do one lap of the pool. You need to get out of here, now.

As you and her walk together, she makes sure to smile and point at interesting or nice trees and flowers she sees. She even tries to talk about the things you mentioned liking online, but you don’t manage to get a word in. You can tell she's trying, really, which just makes you feel all the more undeserving. After half an hour of walking, you reach the central square. A large and beautiful fountain sits in the middle of it, with water gushing down picturesque statues. Nobody else seems to be around. Letting go of her finger, you step back a bit as she stands back up to full height.

"Ahh, what a lovely walk, don't you think?" she says, putting on that Southern Belle accent again.

You move to reply, but she interrupts you before you get a syllable in.

"All the lights, all the colours, all the trees, ahh, doesn't it fill you with love?"

Again, you try and tell her that it does, but she pipes up again. Can she even hear you?

"And just look at this fountain my dear, it's so beautiful with its colours and waters, why, it's almost as beautiful as you~"

You blush at her comment. Okay, that was pretty smooth. And you were always a sucker for compliments. Your blush seems to be enough for her, as she chuckles herself, before walking towards the fountain.

"I think I'm going to get a bit closer ... oh no!" You look up with a start. Crystal suddenly stops walking, before starting to wobble and sway, pinwheeling her arms. It was as if she was on a ledge about to fall ... but she's on flat and stable ground. What's going on? You take a few steps back, just to make sure. "Flattened Beneath Giantess Ass" is NOT how you want to go.

"I ... I think I'm going to fall in!" she says melodramatically, before turning around and 'falling' into the fountain.

Although that isn't how it goes exactly, with her ass simply coming crashing down and flattening the fountain beneath her rear. With an earth-shaking pound the structure is simply removed, and in its place, now sat a giantess. A plume of water shot out everywhere, coating you slightly, while simply soaking her dress. Ruined pipes continue to spray water across her legs.

"Oh no!" she melodramatically wails. "I've fallen in the fountain of love! Won't anybody save me before my dress is ruined?"

What?! What is she on about? She's sitting in about half a centimetre of water relative to her. You stand there confused, before she suddenly looks down at you.

"I said, won't anybody rescue me? I hope my dress isn't ruined, and a lovely person can come to my aid!"

She seems to be acting, and not doing a very good job of it. But you might as go along with it, since at the very least, you doubt she'll move until you play along. You shuffle up to her, like a student in a play that forgot their lines, as you wonder how exactly you're going to save her. She lowers a hand towards you, while the other lies across her forehead.

"Oh, woe is me! My dress is ruined, and so is my date!" she wails. You grab her outstretched finger and tug. Might as well play along, right...

Suddenly, she leaps up onto her feet! It’s as if you were a billion times stronger than you actually are. Her legs slam down just a bit behind you, leaving you behind her feet and just below her rear.

"Ahh, thank you! You've saved me my love!"

You're not listening. Why? Because you're standing directly beneath a giant girl that has a soaked dress tightly clinging against her skin. You can see, quite clearly, the outline of her shapely rear and you swear you can start to see the outline of her panties. You're not a perv or a creep, not by any margins, but come on! It's impossible to look away from! You gawk at the sight for several seconds, before realising that this girl is your date, and can crush you flat.

Shrieking, you look away and prepare to blubber out an apology but stop when you see she looks completely unfazed. She's just looking down at you with that same smile. She doesn't seem to notice.

"Thanks for rescuing me, I hope they still let us into the restaurant! That's what humans do next on their perfect dates, right?"

Before you can flub up an excuse, she grabs you and plops you on her shoulder again. At the very least, she seems to be gentler, or you seem to be more used to it. Probably the latter. Roses still in your hand, you hold on tight as she steps out of the park and saunters down the street. You sheepishly wave down at all the swerving cars honking and swearing, trying to apologise for your date.

But again, you don't even get a word out, as she starts talking again with that same bubbly voice.

"So, Step Two on a perfect date is a dinner, right? And don't worry, I'm going to take you to the fanciest restaurant in town! Candle-lit dinners, fancy music, just like a real date!"

You smile and chuckle, feeling a bit enthused. Nicest restaurant? Wow, that's actually not a bad deal! You've always wanted to go there, but it's way too expensive, so now's your chance. In fact, you remember constantly talking about it with Crystal and how you’ve always wanted to go. She seems to be treating you. At the very least, you'll get some good food out of this.

The city lurches past you as she walks into one of the fancier parts of the town. Her attention is torn between you on her shoulder and where her feet are going. She's actually very graceful, stepping carefully without damaging anything on the ground. Despite her earlier behaviours, she doesn't seem to be that ditzy, with a sense of purpose, place and grace as she moves around. Which means she's going to be all the more disappointed in you once you finally screwed up this night...

--

After a short and peaceful shoulder ride, you arrive in front of the restaurant. It's fancy. Reeeeeaaaly fancy. Every building on the street is made from fancy stone, while cars more expensive than your house are parked in every available space. There's even a limo out the front! A limo that promptly drives away as soon as they see Crystal approach. Yep, this plate is definitely not used to giantesses. You can see it, all the people walking by shuddering from the strange and unusual sight of a fifteen-metre tall lady. But she doesn't seem to notice or care since all of her attention is on you. She strolls in front of the restaurant in the drop-off bay, and slowly lowers you down onto the red carpet. Okay, that was pretty smooth too.

"You just go inside and get us a table dearie, and I'll wait out here, okay?" she says. You nod, straighten out your shirt as best as you can, and walk up the stairs. There's a host behind a lectern by the front door, complete with gloves and a bow-tie, and they look at you with outright disdain as you come up. In front of you is a snooty host, behind you is a smiling giantess looking at you on her knees, yet you're feeling pretty good. Your sour mood has been assuaged by promised food, and better yet, fancy food!

You go to open your mouth, but they shoot you down before you even make a noise.

"That isn't going to happen." they say. Gosh, they have the most disdainful voice imaginable. It’s almost unbearable. "I'm sorry, but you don't have a reservation, your dress code is not to scratch, and, between you and me..."

They lean forwards to whisper, so you do the same.

"...we are not going to let our priceless china be crushed by your friend over there. So, run along now and go crush some cars or something..."

"WHAT?!"

The shockwave hits you first. A wall of sudden noise that makes your hair and shirt billow in the wind and sets off every car alarm in the street. Your ears are ringing, the windows are rattling, and most shocking of all, the snooty host's steely gaze of disdain is faltering. Stammering you turn around to see Crystal, looking down at them with a face of pure fury. She's simply snapped.

"Are you trying to tell me that we can't go in?!"

"Uhh ... ummm ... yes madam..."

"But you don't understand, it's for a date! You can't have a perfect date without a fancy restaurant, it's in the rules! Every movie I've seen has a fancy restaurant for the dates!"

"I'm sorry madame ... but ... but ... we just can't cater for someone of your size... I'm sorry ... please don't hurt me..."

"Well, I'm not going to let my date be disappointed. Whether you like it or not, we're going in!"

"Wait wait no..."

She didn't listen. The host dives beneath the table. And you, well, you take a step back and sighed as the one good thing about your date was about to be destroyed.

Crystal steps forwards and slams her foot down through the ceiling as if it was cardboard. You could hear the crash of tables, chandeliers, and the screams of those fleeing the premise. Another raised foot, another heel shaped hole in the ceiling, and Crystal is standing through the roof of the restaurant. She leans down, grabs the chunk of ceiling beneath her and tears it away, before sitting down in the hole. Her body shook slightly as she grinds her rear into the floor to make herself comfortable on the rubble.

"Ahh, much better!" she exclaims, although her cheerful tone was undercut by a pained expression. She looks like she had to do something she didn't want to do, but you aren't paying much attention. You’re too busy trying to avoid the throng of well-dressed people (the host included) streaming out the front door in a massive stampede. Slumping your shoulders and sighing, you push your way past the group and step inside.

She's simply destroyed the place. A massive chunk of the restaurant has been crushed beneath her body, a large portion of the ceiling torn away, and an entire row of tables is flattened beneath her rear. Her knees are tight to her chest as if to save room, strange, considering she could just rip away more of the ceiling if she wanted to. The building had a tall ceiling, such that it only went up to her midriff, leaving just her dust stained dress in the building. But you can still see her, smiling down at you, patting the spot opposite her as if inviting you over.

You walk over to her and sit at a table opposite her. There's not too far between you, you're within arm's reach of her. It's a frankly bizarre look. At least there's nobody else to see it. All the customers have fled (and with good reason), and you see the staff try to run out the front too, but she slams her hand down in front of them, trapping them inside. They look up to her with fear, but she looks down to them with a slightly sweet and unnerving smile.

"Oh no, you can't go yet! We need to have our date first, you can't let us go hungry, can you?" she asks, putting on a sweet voice. As they nervously shuffle back to the kitchen, you're thinking less about the romantic nature of such an action, and more about whether what just happened was kidnapping. You're slightly concerned about going to court as an accessory to kidnap, but honestly, you feel as if she wouldn't let such a thing happen to you...

Wait. Does she actually care about you? You seem to think so, and she seems to be very happy at smashing up buildings to bring about a perfect date. So, does that mean you care about her too then? Like, sure, she's rather sweet, and you were great friends online and all ... but she's a big giant! That's a big problem!

But you can't push it from your mind as you look over the menu pushed into your hands by a trembling waiter. The waiter does the same to Crystal; she peers at it close, squinting to make out the words. You try and focus on the menu, so you don't screw up the date by talking with her.

"Ahh, so romantic, isn't it? That music is so lovely!" Somehow, the in-house violin band is still playing, although the song was slightly hollow on account of the piano having been crushed beneath her ass. "This place is so beautiful too, and gosh, I didn't know they had a skylight looking up at the beautiful night sky."

You chuckle and snort at that. Was that pun intentional? Noticing your laughter, she chuckles in turn.

"Haha, I get that! Heehee~ I wonder which one of those stars is where I'm from, hmm?" For the first time that night, her face softens. She doesn't look joyous, furious or melodramatic, but ... mellow. She looks calm, quiet and reflective. With a sigh, she puts the menu down by her feet and puts her hands on her knees while she gazes at the sky.

"Sometimes ... sometimes I wish to go back. So many friends I knew, so many places I loved, all so familiar, and at the right size too!" She chuckles again, but it's a more subdued, self-depreciative laugh. "Not having to worry about stepping on things, crushing things, or getting little people mad. Gets lonely sometimes. Miss being able to talk to people at the same height. sigh .But ... I came here for something new. Something unique. But sometimes, when I get lonely and think of what I've left behind, I remember that some things, no matter where you are or how big everything is ... some things never change. No matter where you go, you can always find kind, lovely people like you~"

Her gaze turns back down to you with that same gentle smile, and you're frozen in the headlights. That ... that ... what?! What do you say to that? Beautiful, heartfelt ... you don't have anything to say to that! But you try and repay her words, stammering and blubbering, but she cuts you off with another soft gentle.

"It's alright, you don't have to say anything. I like you just the way you are~"

You're stunned. You just stare, blankly, as the waiter arrives with a notepad in their hands. Crystal orders something for herself, you don't hear what, and she also orders something for you too, you didn't notice that either. You were still stunned. She ... what? She's ... she's liking you? That can't be right. When you finally snap out of it and try to ask her why she ordered your food, she's already answered her question as if she read your mind. Wait, can she do that?!

"It's okay love, I bought your food anyway. It just felt like a nice thing to do, and that's what people do on perfect dates, right? Order the food for each other?"

You don't reply, instead averting your gaze and looking at the menu as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Like sure, conversation would be nice, but what the heck do you ask a giantess? Oh, how was the traffic? What's the weather up like there? Banged your head on any skyscrapers lately? You don't know!

Thankfully she doesn't seem to mind. She quickly falls back into her bubbly, quirky self, and starts talking about things at length. Things she saw today, other giantesses she met, what she got up to, rather standard stuff. Of course, you never really got a chance to talk, but you didn't mind, being content to just listen. With every sentence and outlandish story (which you felt might not be so outlandish after all), you put the menu down slightly and listen to her more. She's just happy to talk and let her story be told, and honestly, you're just content to listen. It's interesting, yet, most importantly, she's talking to you. She never breaks eye contact, she never stops to check her phone (does she have one?), she's wholly interested in talking to you.

And that ... that means something special. Something so special in fact, you feel slightly sad when the waiter arrives with your food. But the sadness is quickly damped down by hunger and happiness, as before you are a plate of meatballs and spaghetti, and it looks simply delicious. You grab your fork and prepare yourself to demolish it like a restaurant beneath Crystal's ass ... but you stop, put down your fork, and look up at her. She smiles.

"Thank you, sweetie, waiting for my dinner~ That's very nice of you. But I don't think you'll have to wait long, since here it comes now..."

A group of twelve waiters arrive, carrying what looks like a massive catering tray stuffed with spaghetti. Yet even then it looks small in comparison to her. They put it down before her like an offering to a dragon, before packing up their things and peeling out of there. She licks her lips as she gazes upon the food, while you're just surprised that the restaurant had so much pasta. Then again, judging by the mismatching colours and shapes of the pasta, you suspect that they had to get some help from other restaurants as well...

But before you can calculate the estimated damage to the Seattle hospitality industry, she picks up a broken chunk of timber as a fork and looks down at you expectedly. Remembering why you were here, you start to eat. It tastes just as good as you imagine, so you go slow to savour it. Curiously, while you expected Crystal to chow down ravenously fast, she's actually slow too. She rolls up bundles of pasta before plopping them into her mouth one at a time. She has a curious rhythm, and keeps looking down at you, which confuses you greatly ... until it hits you. She's timing her bites with yours.

That makes you feel a little bit honoured.

But despite the synchronicity, the food disappears faster off your plate. She's taking smaller bites (relative to her), so you finish first. Just as you put the last fork load into your mouth and swallow it down, there's a crash as she drops the 'fork' to the tray with a clatter. She then leans back and moans, rubbing her stomach in pain.

"Oohhhhh..." she moans with clear exaggeration and that Southern Belle accent. "...that plate ... that food was so much! Do you think you'll be able to help me finish it off? Slurp up the last piece of pasta ... together?~"

You look down at the plate. It looks like a small amount of pasta is left. While she's clearly acting, you decide to play along with it. But not just for fear, since honestly, it's pretty cute too! Taking one end of the pasta into your mouth, you start to slurp it up, and she does the same. It's arduous, you have to take several breaks to bite the pasta and start with a new piece while catching your breath, but you keep at it.

Of course, you know what's coming. It's a cliché as old as time, but honestly, you don't really mind. She's going to get this kiss regardless, so you might as well bear it. The pasta disappears faster and faster, there's not much left, she looks at you with a loving gaze, the last of it disappears, her lips come in close, you close your eyes and pucker up...

Only to find yourself trapped in darkness. Warm, moist, sticky darkness. You blink, confused, as you struggle to take in your new sensations. Everything above your shoulders is pinned between two warm, soft pillars of flesh, while a low hum ripples through your body. Then it hits you.

Your head is trapped between her lips, and worst of all, she doesn't even realise it! You shriek, grabbing her lips and trying to pull yourself out, but she's got you trapped tight. She continues humming and moaning as she 'kisses' you, completely unaware of your frantic struggles.

"Hmmm, is this what a kiss with a human is like?" she muses, her voice rumbling through your body.

After several seconds of breathless scrambling, her lips finally part and you pull away. You fall back into your chair coughing and spluttering. You're simply covered in saliva, the thick goo soaking into your shirt and clothes, and you struggle in vain to wipe it off you. You feel like you're going to be smelling of this stuff for the next week, if not more.

As you try and wipe it off, Crystal continues to purr in the afterglow of the kiss. She hums and moans sultrily ... before gasping as she looks down at you.

"Ohmigosh I'm so sorry!" she shrieks. "Here, let me help you!" She picks up a table-cloth and holds it out like a napkin, but you hold up a hand and she stops in place.  You just try and wipe it off to the best of your ability with the napkin while she watches. Her expression isn't clear to you, but you don't care, just trying to wipe your shirt clean. But ... you're not sure ... but she looks ... sad to you? You brush off the thought and keep wiping.

Five minutes are spent just trying to dry your shirt until you give up and decide damp is good enough. Standing up, you try and leave, angry giantess be darned, but she grabs you and plops you onto her shoulder yet again. And before you know it, she's walking through the streets, putting on a wide, yet pained, smile.

"Welp, that didn't go to plan, heehee!" Her voice sounds slightly cracked, as if she was crying, but you're barely paying attention. "Let's ... let's go to the next part of the perfect date, the movies! Then we can have the perfect, perfect date, that's just perfect, per ... perfect..."

Your mood has definitely soured as she strolls to her next destination. But you're not really mad at her, but more yourself. What were you thinking, trying to go out on a date with her? She's trying, that much you give her, but everything has just been a disaster one after the other. And where were you in all this? Giving words of advice? Laughing it off, trying to speed things along? No, you were just standing gormless while she made a fool of herself. This is going badly, and neither of you are helping. But it looks like she won't take no for an answer, so you're in for a long haul...

---

She doesn't talk on the way over the movies. You just hold onto her dress with one hand while trying to dry your shirt off with the other. Yet, you can't help but wonder how she's going to go to the movies. It's one half curiosity, and another half grim wonderment of which building she's going to flatten and destroy in order to get it. While Crystal's face quickly returns to that same, optimistic smile, she does look a bit downtrodden.

After a few minutes (turns out giantesses are the quickest way to travel), you arrive at your destination: a drive-in movie theatre. You're honestly quite surprised, you didn't know Seattle had any of those anymore! But it seems that romantics have kept the business alive; the movie hasn't even started yet and the lot is packed with cars packed with dates. Dates going better than yours, you grimly realise. There isn't much room to move, and ever less room to sit.

But that does that stop Crystal? What do you think; of course not!

"Hmm, I think I'll be able to make room for us!" she says; you just sigh and hold on tight...

Striding over the tall walls surrounding the lot, Crystal puts her foot in the centre and casually slides the cars out of the way. People yelped, tires squealed, but she just pushes them out of the way like little toy cars. Of course, there wasn't much room for the cars to move, but she didn't mind, the cars getting pressed up against the walls in massive pile ups. After a minute of pushing, squealing rubber, screaming and running, there's a space just big enough for her. Sighing in satisfaction, she strides inside and sits cross legged, right in front of the cinema. Picking you off her shoulder, she lowers you down to her midsection and presses you softly against her.

"Ahhh, it's always nice to have a night at the movies, isn't it?" she asks. You don't reply however, as you're too focused on your seat. Honestly, it isn't that bad. It's soft and comfortable. However ... there is the other factor that from your seat ...  you're directly below her cleavage. While you're not a perv, you can't deny that they look rather nice...
But you keep your eyes on the screen. Half to stay decent, half because you don't want to get flung into San Francisco.

But again, she doesn't notice (or does notice, but doesn't care), so there's no drama. You both just sit back, relax, and wait for the movie to start. While a LOT of the customers seem angry, seething from their cars (both untouched and piled up ones), nobody does anything. You just try and focus on the movie, and not the embarrassment of being the focus of everyone's ire.

Eventually, after what feels like several minutes too long, the movie starts. A traditional, soaring orchestra of soaring violins, the coos of doves; she's definitely picked a romantic epic. A perfect movie for a perfect date it seems. But there's just one thing missing from the romantic picture: the actual picture. The violins are in full swing, yet there's no image on the screen. You, Crystal, and everyone else in the audience scratches their head. You look up to Crystal, expecting more rage and fury, but she's stumped more than anything.

"I don't get it, where did the movie go?" she asks, her strong voice clearly heard over the pictureless film. She looks down at you for an answer; you just shrug.

"I'll go chat to the projectionist, see what's up..." she says. She stands, and suddenly the image comes back on the screen. Well, bits of the image. There's just a massive Crystal silhouette over it. Realising this, she looks down at you. "Oops. Hmmm ... I guess you could watch it on my back ... but then we wouldn't get the chance to talk to each other. Ooh, I know!"

Before you get a chance to duck and cover, Crystal strides over to the front of the lot and sits down, back against the screen. The image is now being projected across her front, with her chest covering most of the screen. Her head is above the projection, looking down at you with a wide smile.

"Ahh, now we get to watch the movie together!" she says.

But you're not listening. Why? Well ... how do I put this ... lets just say that the screen became a lot more curved when she sat down. It seems that her sitting posture has compressed certain assets and made the screen much more interesting. They were just so big, so hefty, even if she wasn't macro scaled, so they're very enticing indeed. It's not like you can look away (despite how much you want to), they're right in the middle of the screen. So, all you can do is just watch the movie, mouth dry as cotton, and hope your pants stay the same way.

At the very least, it's a nice distraction from the thoughts of just how bad the date is going. 50% of your brain is watching the movie, while the other 50% is watching the movie. After the shortest hour and a half of your life, the movie draws to a close. All things considered, it was a very nice, bit sappy, bit melodramatic, but darn it, you can't deny it tugged on your heart strings. You came pretty close to crying at some points. Crystal teared up a bit too, which honestly, was adorable.

You weren't sure how you were feeling honestly. On the one hand, your heart was crying out for love after the flick, but on the other, you felt like she was just a mis-step from several hundred thousands worth of damage. But she was lovely in all senses of the word, she did try her hardest, maybe you should give her a chance?

It's these thoughts that stop you from panicking as she picks you up and plops you on her shoulder. You're not sure why, but you seem to scoot a bit closer to her head as you walk.

"Ahh, now it's time for our final stop, the perfect way any date should end, a trip to the beach! A long walk across the beach, ahh, is there anything more romantic?" she asks, and you can't help but nod in agreement.

---

On your little perch, you can see the beach get closer and closer with every long and gentle step. But then suddenly, Crystal takes a turn to the right. You're not walking along the beach anymore, you're now entering what looks like a neighbourhood. A neighbourhood that looks oddly familiar...

"Oh no!" she shrieks, clapping her hands to her cheeks as the voice of the Southern Belle returns. You look up to her with a start.

"Our perfect date has just been ruined!"

Ruined?! What, how?!

"We were having a perfectly fine evening, when suddenly, your vicious ex turned up and is trying to steal you back!"

EX?!

You nearly fall off your perch. Spluttering like a figure in a cartoon, you look down and see one of your many exes, standing on the curb with the most confused face imaginable as she looks up at Crystal. She seems to have been taking out the trash when the giantess lumbered down the street and screamed accusations at her. Her gaze snaps to you and your blood goes cold. You try and give a wave back to defuse the tension, but it isn't working. Your heart is pounding a trillion times a femtosecond, you feel like you're going to pass out, and you wish you could find a hole to crawl into to just escape the embarrassment.

But oh boy, your embarrassment is only just beginning...

"I'm not going to let that mean old girl steal you away! I'm going to protect you!" Crystal shouts, while your ex looks on in continued, abject confusion. Crystal's hand reaches up and snatches you off her shoulder to hold you tight against her chest. What part of her chest you ask? Well ... the softest part ... and the part that makes you feel very, very hot indeed. Embarrassment and Arousal battle for control of the blush in your cheeks while you watch on in a mix of all those feelings, but with a good heaping of confusion added in.

You expect Crystal to run away, possibly crush a park bench or two, but things take a turn for the worse as Crystal picks up your ex's car! Like a toy car she hoists it up into the air ... before letting it fall to the ground, crumpling like a tin can. Your ex is screaming, Crystal is grinning, while you feel a mix of joy and loss. Granted, your ex was a bit of a jerk ... but it's a fancy car! And you almost lost your virginity in it too!

But you barely have time to mourn the loss of the vehicle as Crystal's only getting started, striding over and crushing your ex's gazebo underfoot as well. Another scream from your ex; you're just mortified. What if the police gets called?!

"That's what you get for hurting my dear date!" Crystal yells triumphantly as she grinds it into the dirt. You're just covering your face with your hands at this point. But with some grim compulsion, you peek your eyes through the gaps, if not to at least see how Crystal is gleefully destroying everything.

By this point, your ex, furious at the destruction to her car and landscaping, has resorted to kicking and punching against Crystal's heel while shouting and screaming obscenities. Bad move. But she gets surprisingly far, all things considered! This is mostly because Crystal was too busy crushing her flower garden, which of course brought on another set of obscenities from your ex. She lasts what, ten seconds, before Crystal leans down and plucks her up by the hem of her shirt. She's still screaming, kicking and beating on the two fingers that are pinched around her waist. You have to commend her bravery, or was it stupidity? She dated you, so probably the latter.

"I'm going to make sure you don't hurt my precious date anymore!" Crystal says, before hoisting your ex up and ... oh goodness. Oh ... oh goodness. Ummm ... this is a bit hard to say ... but well ... your date is now hanging from the light pole. Upside down. By their underwear. They're screaming and flailing, still, and now the whole neighbourhood can see them. In fact, the whole neighbourhood is going to see them, with everyone leaving their houses to see what's going on. You should probably go. Because while it is fun to see your ex get their come-uppance ... you still find it hard to feel good about this.

"Ahh, the ex has been humiliated, all to the protect the honour of my precious date! That's the second last step of the perfect date, isn't it? Hmmm, maybe I should pay your other exes a visit..."

You frantically wave your arms and shake your head from side to side. Thankfully she agrees with you.

"Awwh, alright. That might be for the best anyway, since we have to get to the final step of a perfect date ... a walk on the beach! No date is complete without a walk on the beach!"

And with that, she plops you back on her shoulder (much to your relief and disappointment) and goes back on her voyage towards the beach. You're not thinking of much, mostly just hoping that she doesn't run into any of your exes on the way. How did she find out about her anyway? Probably social media. There's probably a page warning the town about you: the hopeless hopeless romantic.

Getting back on topic however, just one more bit. One more part of the date, and then this crazy, crazy night can finally be over...

---

After the little diversion, it's a short walk towards the beach. Thankfully, she picks one of the more secluded areas, taking you to a long, deserted stretch of coastline hemmed in a little cove. There's nobody around, except a small beach-shack further up the coast. It's quiet, peaceful, with the moon beaming down bright and casting the world in an ethereal white glow. The waves were gently crashing against the shore. Truth be told, it's actually quite romantic.

With delicate care, Crystal took you off her shoulder and put you on the ground. She offers her finger, and like before with the park, you grip it and walk along the beach. She's closest to the ocean, with her dark hair catching in the beautiful moonlight while she smiles down at you. But you struggle to meet her gaze. You're downtrodden as you walk through the sand, waiting for the inevitable screwups, and wondering how you're going to break the news to her.

She's a nice girl, really ... but after all of tonight ... you doubt it'll work out. So many things went wrong, and you feel that if you did get in a relationship, you're just setting yourself up for a fight and breakup later on. You've failed every-time before with a regular girl, so what hope do you have with a giantess that's destroyed so much in just one night? But you don't have the heart to tell her.

Crystal doesn't notice however, still beaming as she struts along in her happy world of the perfect date. She points out at all the stars, but you're not listening.

"It's so beautiful, don't you agree?" You weakly nod your head. "So many stars, all of them burning bright oh so far away. You know, here on Earth, it took me a while to come to terms with not being able to see the stars during the day."

You look up to her with a quizzical expression. "I lived in space sweetie~" Oh. Ask a stupid question...

"Anyway, at first, I didn't like it. I always loved being able to see the stars, so only being able to see them half of the time ... I didn't like that. At first. But then ... I realised that having to wait for something, having to way for them to come out ... it made it all the sweeter. I guess I feel the same way about you..."

You trip and stumble, only staying on your feet thanks to your grip on Crystal's finger. You look up, shocked, and she just chuckles again.

"Hehe, you're cute when you're flustered. But it's true. I've been so lonely for so long, wanting for so long, but all that absence, all that waiting, it made my heart all the happier now that I've finally found you~"

Oh crap...

"It's just ... I've never met anybody so patient, and so happy to listen. So many people just talk about themselves ... but to have you listen, truly listen to me ... that makes me happy. It really, really does. I love you."

Date.exe has crashed. You're stunned senseless, standing there gaping up at her with your mouth flapping open and shut. You don't know what to do, you don't know what to feel, you don't know what to say! But worst of all, you're about to break it off with a girl that just said they love you. Screw San Francisco, you're probably going to land in Copenhagen after she tosses you in anger. Play along? Try and tamp down her expectations? You just don't know...

"Ahhh, that was nice. Just like in a perfect date, the girl professes their feelings, before leaning in for a kiss that'll bring fireworks out in the sky..." she says, before shutting her eyes and leaning down towards you, lips pursed. You stammer and blush, heart pounding. Closer and closer she leans down towards you, while you just stand stunned. Mouth flapping, you try and open your mouth and tell her something...

But then she stops, lips millimetres away from you. She cracks open an eye and looks to the side.

"I said, a kiss that'll bring fireworks out in the sky..." she repeats forcefully, as if talking to someone you can't see. You look around in confusion. But there's still nothing. Huffing in annoyance, Crystal stands up, hands on her hips.

"I SAID, a kiss that'll bring fireworks out in the sky!" she yells, stamping her foot. There's still nothing. You notice she's talking to a small rise on the beach. Peering closely, you spy some firework tubes jutting out of the top. And a firework technician, sprinting away, clearly not willing to work for a giantess any longer. Huffing in annoyance, Crystal storms over to the firework display and rips it out of the ground. It’s a small wooden platform laden with pyrotechnics. Like a child annoyed at a broken toy, Crystal shook and peers close at the equipment...

"Ahh, stupid fireworks! They're supposed to go off! What's wrong with them! Why doesn't anything in this perfect date go ri..."

*BANG*

A sudden explosion. A flash of light. You're thrown back onto your ass from the shockwave as the world before you turns white, yellow and green. Shaking away the blow, you look up to see Crystal holding the firework platform ... and with black scorching all across her face. One of the fireworks detonated right in front of her. She stands there, stunned but unhurt. Like a burning fuse, you can see her anger smoulder ... before detonating like a grenade.

"AGGGHHH!" she screams in rage and frustration, smashing the wooden platform against the ground.

"WHY WON'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT?! WHY?!" she roars as she smashes it again and again, reducing it to a bundle of splinters. You just sit back and watch, too scared to do anything that might attract her wrath. Like a woman possessed she smashes it again and again, before throwing it into the sea with a grunt of exertion. She stares, watching it slowly sink beneath the waves, before collapsing onto the ground onto her rear. And then she starts crying. Big, body-wracking sobs as her fury turns to misery in an instant. Tears stain the beach and her dress as she bawls her heart out. Slowly, you approach her...

"EVERYTHING'S BEEN A FAILURE, EVERYTHING! ALL I WANTED WAS A PERFECT DATE FOR MY LOVE, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!" she screams in agony. You continue to approach, making sure to dodge the flying tears. Coming up close, you gently rest a hand against her leg, trying to console her. Sniffling the last of the tears away, she looks down at you with big, teary eyes. You freeze like a deer in the headlights. You hold up the bouquet of rose, petals falling off due to your shaking grip.

Her face softens. A small smile grows across her face. You sigh as she leans in towards them... before jerking back. Her entire body convulses as she holds back a sneeze, before letting it go.

"ACHOOO!"

Hurricane force winds shoot out and level the beach house, reducing it to a pile of planks on the ground. She looks at the wreckage before crying even stronger now.

"Everything ... everything has been a failure! I'm just a big, dumb oaf that can't do anything right!" she wails, holding her head in her hands. You just watch, unsure what to do. What can you do? Console her, tell her everything is okay? You've been unable to work your mouth all date, and you doubt you'll be able to do anything now. Her tears slow, with her sobs going away, but she's still distraught and dejected. Sighing, she collapses onto the ground, lying prone with her head on the sand as she continues to cry.

Then you get an idea. A stupid, stupid, stupid idea. But it's the only one you have. Shaking like a leaf, you approach her head. You're not sure what you're thinking, but you don't want to see her like this. Besides, it works in the movies, right? Coming up close, you gently grip her cheek. She opens her eyes and looks at you, and you look her in the eyes back. And then you shut your eyes and lean in for the kiss...

...but stop. You open your eyes in confusion as you feel your body suddenly stop. Looking down, you see her finger gently across your chest, holding you back from her lips. Looking up, you see her face in a gentle smile. Tears cake her cheeks, but she looks better, happier. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she picks you up in her hands and sits up, holding you in front of her face. You look up to her in pure confusion, you were trying to make her feel better, why didn't she let you kiss her?

"Thanks sweetie ... but no thanks. I know you're trying to make me feel better but ... I don't deserve. Tonight has ... well ... it's not been great, I'll be the first to admit that. I was so wrapped up in giving you the perfect date ... I didn't stop to ask what you wanted to do, how you felt about everything. I was so focused on it ... I didn't realise I had a lovely friend already right here. I’m so glad I got the chance to meet you after we talked for so long, I really am, but I just have to give you a good time now.

I know you want to make me feel better, but honestly, I don't deserve it. You were lovely, and I ... well ... I wasn't. But I'm going to work on that, I'm going to give you a date good enough to deserve that kiss. I'll do what’s right, not what I see in a movie. I’ll see you again, lovely human. And when we do, I'll be sure to give you a night to remember~ But in a good way of course~ Goodbye."

You're stunned. You barely even feel it as she lowers you onto the ground, leaving you standing on the sand. She waves before walking away with a confident stride. Slowly, you raise your hand and give her a meek wave goodbye as well.

You don't know what to think. You're confused, stunned, concerned, everything running through your mind at a million miles per hour. But one thing is for certain.

You hope you get a chance to meet her again.

The End.