You know, I've been thinking about all this shit a lot this year, I've been doing a ton of self reflection and realized somewhere along the line I turned into some absurdly bitter and hateful ad paranoid schizoid, consistently lying about one thing or another to pretty much every anon or artist I interact with, even some of the closest ones I know. So many deliveries and experiences this year alone have filled me with genuine hatred and disgust to where I realized I've become a bit of a complete prick, a bitter hateful monster.

Years ago when I started commissioning shit I used to be very accommodating, happy, relaxed, and most importantly I never lied or made up some kind of fake persona to mask my intentions as to not be a walking contradiction or to set up a shield in the form of "plasuable deniabilty" for myself. Over the years this has caused a rabbit hole so deep that the amount of lies I've spun and the amount of spinning plates that are consistently going off has gotten so absurd and so insane that it becomes difficult to even be completely truthful to even thr anons and artists I've spoken to for MANY years, so now I will simply get on with it

tl;Dr, I am, Oorafag, Waitress-anon, Kiseki-anon, Claw, Aiyanna-anon. Personalities all spawned to avoid contradiction and to set up the veil of plausible deniabilty

There is no justification for anything, I've practically been acting like an addicted crack fiend as of late. In fact I know there were at least a few of you that were able to see through my dumb and suspicious actions. This shit was not initially intended but it ballooned so far out of control in recent years that there had been no stopping it

Separating myself from Waitress spawned from wanting an OC that could stand on her own. My reputation as Oorafag has followed me many places, so I wanted to try to make an OC for myself without these biases, and it was largely successful. This one was mostly known by most

Kisekianon was a schizoid personality created to really give into selfish indulgences and to create a separate personality to avoid the ire of the other secondaryfags out there, but it devolved way farther than that

Claw was initially just me getting cheap sfw stuff of a trpg oc, that much is true, but after some very inspiring ideas have started to flow in, I started falling into a temptation i wished to avoid. This only got worse after seeing that she was getting rather popular. Admitting to such things would have been a complete and total contradiction to plenty of shit i said before and i was worried of thenaby accusationsthat would come out if the infamous spammed cheapie meme oc was owned by the oorafag who was famousl yspammed in the drawthreads, so I had to sweep it under the rug and use another personality as a vehicle to it all. Since it was a trpg character too thar I did play it made me a bit more paranoid within other spheres of my life. The clawtism accusations are definitely true.

Aiyanna is simply an extension of waitress.  An oc to be judged on their own merits nothing else to it


But to get to the ultimate point of it all, these absolutely abysmal deliveries made me realize that not only have I been a heinous monster simply lying to a lot of friends in service of their own perceptions of me, but that it is also in service to addiction and unfounded paranoia. After many years of this, it's high time I come clean.

I apologize for it all. I'm an addict, so we won't be leaving any time soon, but all these facades will come to an end

I apologize to the many anons that I have lied to about various things over the years, most kniw who they are. I apologize to the threads as a whole, because I most definitely polluted them with my nonsense, and I especially apologize to artists such as Vinegarjar, who I consider a close friend, yet still told plenty of white lies to in regards to this nonsense

The only real saving grace is that most anons won't care to read it; but to reiterate again

tl;Dr, I am, Oorafag, Waitress-anon, Kiseki-anon, Claw, Aiyanna-anon. Personalities all spawned to avoid contradiction and to set up the veil of plausible deniabilty