Anon Quest: 4.2 The Rokin’ Rollin’ Duo and the Clever Yokel.

Mission #4.2 The Rokin’ Rollin’ Duo and the Clever Yokel.


>As the sun reaches full visibility, Anon and his party find themselves already approaching the dense path of trees and foliage that leads to Hollow Mountains.
>Though seemingly peaceful, with nary a sound but the faint chirping of birds, a loud thud suddenly breaks this illusion as the ceiling of their wagon produces a small dent in its center.
>“What in the hay was that?” says Applejack confusingly.
>Rarity’s very sensitive ears begin to twitch slightly as she hears a low toned guttural clicking noise, and her tail tightens around her sapphire staff as she realizes what the sound is.
>“That sounds a lot like-“
>A large, rock encrusted arm suddenly breaks through the ceiling, causing everyone to jump back in shock, and for Rarity to give an ear bleeding scream.
Everyone! Stay calm, and get out of the wagon!
>Spike is suddenly heard from the driver’s seat, as he gives a great yell.
>“Twilight! HEEELP!”
>The party yells for Spike simultaneously, and in a flash of magic, appear outside of the wagon, to witness its top being torn apart by an armored armadros, with a second pulling Spike out of the wagon.
>Lore break.
>Armored armadroses are a subspecies of the Armadros family.
>Armadroses peach colored creatures, that are covered in quills and resemble armadillos the size of bears, with longer, significantly sharper claws, and the ability to sprint on all fours, run on two, or roll for short distances to protect and harm enemies. Armored armadroses are much worse though, having thick, brown, rock like calluses in place of quills from rolling across mountain tops, unprecedented jumping and grip strength for climbing, and a higher endurance due to their tougher environment.
>Back to Spike.
>Tears begin fiercely rolling down this poor scrubs face as the slightly browner male armadros begins licking Spike’s face with his massive tongue to see how he taste.
>The tears are only an improvement, giving a sweet, but slightly salty taste to his surprisingly dry and bitter tasting skin.
>Twilight’s horn gives a powerful glow of red as an indication she’s about to use the flame move “Hephaest’s Strike,” but Anon announces,
They have a resistance! Use something else.
>Before she can change spells, the lighter brown female leaps from the top of the wagon, reaching several meters of height in a spinning ball of intense velocity that comes down in the direction of the group.
>They scatter out of the way as she exits her curl at the last moment, bringing her down claws deep into the earth, and creating a slight shockwave under his 1074 pounds of weight.
>This SHOULD be a very intimidating moment, but her entire arm becomes trapped in the ground, causing her to awkwardly pull and yank at the ground.
>Noticing his companion is in trouble, male armadros tosses Spike away, and using all of his leg power, he comes in like a wrecking ball, flattening Dash in a quick roll.
>It’s a good distraction, but Anon knows an opening when he sees one and yells out,
Applejack! Attack the trapped one!
>as he brings his sword into a defensive stance.
>“With pleasure,” says Applejack.
>She leaps forward, and begins pounding at the male with her iron clad hooves for 23 points of damage, but with 220 HP and a +15 offense he’s not going down quickly.
>Knowing she’ll be free any moment, Rarity tells Applejack, “Could you please clear the way for a moment?” as her horn and eyes begin producing a light blue glow.
>After finally freeing her paw, Lady Armadros turns to see Rarity a few feet away, looking her dead in the eyes as her illusionary magic begins distorting the world in your creature’s eyes.
>Rarity uses the signature ability of the Floratics, “After Image,” to create a situational rise in her team’s evasiveness. The next two ponies Lady A. attacks will have a +15 boost to their defensive roll, but since an illusion doesn’t really make someone stronger, if you out-roll them, the effect is negated. This also affects your creature’s evasiveness however, lowering her defense by 10 for the next 2 attacks she takes.
>Lady Armadros begins confusingly shaking her head as everything blurs and she begins seeing doubles, then triples, then QUADRUPLES of her irritating meal prancing back and forth to only further confuse her, as an unnatural sounding beeping noise is heard from a pink blurry mess in the background. As she focuses on the figure, it suddenly produces hundreds of little colorful dots that grow in size as they propel towards her.
>Pinkie attacks her with “Advancing Ammunition” hitting her with three rounds of a half-dozen firecrackers in a matter of seconds.
>With a damage cap at 20, a miss and another at 12, she takes 32/60 damage. Not too shabby.
>Meanwhile, Anon is swinging wildly at your male, but he deflects swing after swing with his quick claws, causing no damage to be taken from the roll.
>As Anon struggles, Rainbow eventually rises out of her bed of ground, and shakes her body wildly to try and get some of the dirt out of her fur.
>She then thinks to herself, “That offense is going to be a problem. I need to get rid of that thing’s buff, so that it won’t be as much trouble. Then again, with no buffs of my own, it wouldn’t hurt to go after its defense...no...no...that attack is too high.”
>She decides to use her thief ability, “Offence Leech.”
>As your dark skinned male knocks Fluttershy through the air, Rainbow Dash flies behind Gentlemen A. in a blur of blue, bringing her front left hoof (her thieving hoof) onto the top of his skull, and absorbing his offensive capabilities in a visible orange aura.
>In a matter of seconds, the +15 attack that your creature possesses is now Dash’s for the next two phases, and he begins feeling noticeably weaker as he shakes Dash off only to get electrocuted by Twilight’s +20 “Sterope’s Kiss”.
>She rolls a 103 while you only roll a 38.
>Gentlemen A. gives a sharp crackling yell as his heart stops for a moment, only to restart upon his collapse to the ground. He won’t stay down though. He hasn’t even reached his halfway point.
>The female charges to Rarity, only to miss and trip through a bunch of bushes, as Fluttershy gives Dash a small “protect” spell to boost her defense +10. She now has a total of +15 attack and a +10 defense, making her to most heavily boosted character in the party, and with a new phase, she focuses all of that attention into giving a startling cross to your lady.
>Rarity then follows it up, whacking her with her staff for disappointing 2 points damage.
>Lady A. gives Rarity a fierce swipe to the right side of her neck, tearing away at part of her fluffy, boa-like mane and sending her tumbling through the ground.
>With the next phase starting, the electrically burnt male tries to charge Rarity to crush her while she’s down, only for Anon to jump in the way and block its face with his sword.
>Critical strike of 80 attack versus your 23 defense and the blade cuts clean into his poor rocky face.
>What’s wrong with your rolls right now?!
>He thankfully tramples Anon however, as he comes to the ground with only 98/220 HP left.
>Anon’s head hits the ground hard with 34 damage, knocking him out for a few brief seconds.
>As his already dazed state of mind gets progressively worse from the collision, he opens his eyes, and the world around him takes on that unusual brownish filter from his dreams he can’t seem to remember.
>Soon, light balalaika music begins to fade in from the background.
>He slowly rises, with no idea how much time has passed and is almost charged by the breast that just trampled him, but he’s stopped mid run, enveloped in a purple field of magic, and thrown through the air as if he were weightless, crashing into the trees to Anon’s left.
>Following the sight, he can see a Purple Unicorn adorned in the black robe, that he distinctly remembers as a Corruptionist in his dreams, trotting over to him with his glaive floating by her side.
>“Doesn’t have much fight in him”, she tells Anon as she magically hands him his weapon back.
“Thank you,” Anon says completely unphased by the sudden change in reality.
>He takes a look around him to see his party.
>His cheerful bard is playing her music on the back of your lady armadros, as that miserable hick of a defender rests her FAT rump on your lady’s skull after a body slam.

>Applejack breaks your narration at the game table.
>“Now hang on ere’. My rump is NOT fat. My keister’s firmer than the bark on an apple tree.”
“Sure thing Apple Flab,” you say as you smugly take a sip from your can of orange Fanta.
>You can see clear irritation in her face as you take probably the longest sip in the world, eyeing her the entire time to instill a reaction.
>Finally, AJ’s slams a hoof on the table and she yells at you, “You can feel for yerself if you think I’m lyin’!”
>You swallow, calmly place your can down and tell her,
Well...at least by me a drink first. CAN I GET A HIGH HOOF?!
>Pinkie’s hoof practically stretches across the table to slap your hand, and there are bits of muffled giggling coming from Dash as AJ’s cheeks grow a slight rosy tint upon realization of what she just said.
>You don’t think you’ve ever heard her giggle before. It’s...kind of cute.
Where was I…Oh yeah.

>As Applejack gets comfy, she tells Anon, “That rocky roller wasn’t that tough.”
Don’t get cocky AJ. We’ve still got a long way ahead. Good job for now though.
>In a dash, his huntress flies within an inch from his face and sympathetically asks him, “You okay boss? That was one heck of a hit you took.”
>He laughs a bit while backing away a little bit.
I’ve been through worse. I should be the one asking you though; you were literally ran over by one of those things.
>Her left brow rises slightly in confusion.
>“What are you talking about? That thing never ran me over.”
>Engineer Pinkie suddenly intercepts, popping her face through the huntress as she, and the entire world dissolves away to its current state.
>“ANON?!”
>Anon’s eyes suddenly bolt open in confusion, as he sees Pinkie, standing over his body with her massive eyes peering into his. Her oddly intoxicating scent of motor oil and lollipops is especially strong from so close.
Wh...What?
>Seeing him awaken, she leaps away from him and announces to the others, “It’s okay everypony! He’s gonna be oookay!”
>Fluttershy descends from the air into view and asks Anon, “Would you maybe like me to heal you?”
I’ll be fine. I still have plenty of life in me. A bit of walking and I’ll be fine.
>Spike interrupts the two as he wipes his saliva and dirt covered face with a cloth.
>“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean ‘walking’?”
There’s no way we can travel up a mountain on that wagon. From here on out, we’re hoofing it.
>Spike and Rarity gives an unhappy and very exaggerated groans as their heads peer to the sky.
Don’t worry guys; it’ll only be an hour and a half, tops.
>That’s a lie. It’s going to take much longer depending on what the run into. Also, traveling through the terrain is going to be a nightmare.
Spike, please grab the items satchel from the wagon.
>“Fiiine.”
>Anon begins walking, with the others obediently following behind.
After grabbing the bag, Spike quickly runs over, hoping onto Twilight’s back for a free ride, as Rarity tails from behind, complaining.
>“It’s already becoming too hot Anon.”
We’ve only been walking for five minutes. Maybe if you trimmed your tuft, this wouldn’t be a problem.
>“But it looks GORGEOUS! How could you expect me to do such a thing?!”
>Applejack agrees with Anon, “He does have a point though. Now that ah think about it, isn’t your fur supposed to shed during the summer?”
>“Nonsense; that’s a disgusting habit that I refuse to take part…”
>Rarity’s eyes widen as she and the party notices something not too far ahead, hidden in the trees of their right path.
>It’s a small, abandoned, and broken caravan. The type Anon and his party would always purchase before Pinkie successfully created her steam powered engine.
>No surprise considering there have already been plenty of citizens that have tried to take on Hollow Mountain, but it’s always an unsettling sight to see a piece of what is a disappointing whole of failures.
>“Ominous,” says Twilight as they stare at the broken mess of wood for a few seconds.
Okay, enough sightseeing, let’s keep moving.
>You can hear Dash give a slightly concerned, “Of course” to the statement as they continue forward, making it to the actual Mountains, and entering a thin veil of fog.
>The entire time through their walk, Anon can’t help but think about his hallucinations. When this began days ago, he couldn’t remember anything but thin fragments. They were simply dreams, at first. Figments of stress, or maybe a craving for adventure, or an underdone potato or something, but it seems as though they’re beginning to mean something to him. That something he’s still not sure about, but if they survive your next enemy encounter, he’ll probably have that final glaring hint at what’s going on soon enough.
>Speaking of enemies. What will the next encounter be?
>Reappelean Lizard?
>Golems?
>The Enemy Mole Brigade?
>You pull a card from the Mountain-Type enemy deck and your eyes widen at the results.
>Mountain-Type Chimera, one of your favorite enemies, and you even get to bring it to its level two stats since they’ve reached the second half of their quest already.
>This’ll be fun.
>Around 20 minutes into their hike up the increasingly rocky Hollow Mountain, Rarity picks up a scent far north of the party.
>“We’re being watched,” she quietly says to the others looking north east.
>Anon and his party looks to her direction and see a figure obscured in the unnatural fogginess of the mountains, peering at them with glittering green eyes before leaping from a pillar and disappearing.
Looks like a chimera.
>Twilight gives a disgruntled huff as the party continues walking.
>“Great. Chimeras are the second worst monsters I’ve come by in Equestria.”
Right next to Queen Moon?
>“Don’t even get me started on that mare!”
>The figure suddenly comes back into view, in front of their path.
>Slowly walking closer, its features become clear; it’s massive ram-like horns, its goat face, a lion-like body with a discolored white back, and a sentient snake, growing out of its tail bone.
>“Let’s pound it!” says Dash excitedly, despite the fact that she’s not much of a pounder since she chose thief.
>She gets ready to fly at it, but Anon extends his arm in front of her.
Just wait a minute. Chimeras are much smarter than your run of the mill monster.
>He turns his head to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy, I want you to try and speak with it.
>Ooh, Anon’s planning a negotiation to get out of this fight. Smart move on his part.
>Fluttershy’s legs begin to buckle at the thought.
>“D-do I have to?”
Would you rather we fight it.
>She sighs.
>“Nooo.”
>Slowly, she begins walking to the chimera; her heart racing as her forehead burning up.
>“Um...hello, Mr. or Mrs. Chimera, sir, mam.”
>It stops, with both heads staring her deeply in the eyes. they begin speaking in unison, its snake tail giving a high pitched, almost childlike voice of gender ambiguity, with slurring “s”s, and its goat head giving a much deeper, more mature sounding tone.
>“We are a non-female. Tell us why you come through our home.”
>“Well uh, we could just turn around if you-”
Fluttershy?!
>“SorryI’msorry!” she says turning her head to the party in a slight panic. “We uh...we came to have a nice talk with the dragon in Hollow Mountain about how it’s been treating the ponies in the nearby village.”
>“Fascinating,” he says, “but tell me little horse, why should we let you pass? The delicious horses have been much easier prey than the moles and goblins of these mountains.”
>Fluttershy’s brow lowers.
>“Well, um…Spike, didn’t we get a golden apple from a goblin during the start of our quest?”
>Spike remembers and quickly pulls it out after scavenging the bag.
>Golden Apple; One use item. +20 HP +20 MP.
>Hopping off of Twilight’s back, he hurries over and presents it safely by Fluttershy’s side.
>With greater confidence, she tells him, “We’ll give you this shiny golden apple, a-and a heart potion, if you let us pass.”
>It ponders for a moment, and almost agrees, but the snake tail tells the goat head, “Six horses and a human is surely worth more to us than a measly apple. I say we kill them.”
>Rainbow’s hoof is grinding through the ground in anticipation of the battle that’s about to occur, but Applejack of all ponies gives him a smart reply that actually manages to stump you, the DM and narrator.
>“But Mr. Chimera, I heard that there dragon’s gigantic. I bet if we took care of that thing /super rare/ creature, you’d have enough meat to last fer days, and you wouldn’t even have to work for it.”
>...
>Well, this is interesting.
>Negotiations usually turn into haggling spare items to avoid fights entirely but...how can you work around the kind of logic she just used?

>You stand up from the table and tell the party,
Time out for a second. I need to think about this one.
>Spike asks you, “So are we taking a break then?”
Not quite yet.
>You pace around the room for a bit, grabbing yourself another can of Fanta before you come to a conclusion and sit back in your DM pillow.
Well, I thought it over...This is highly unorthodox, but I’ll let you guys avoid this fight.
>The party gives a cheer for Applejack’s clever little brain, with high hoofs and side hugs all around, but you’re not letting them get by that easily.
I can’t just let you guys skip a fight unscathed however, so I’m going to pull another card for a different enemy encounter. Consider yourselves lucky though, chimeras are some of the hardest standard enemies around. Next time you encounter one, don’t expect the same results.

>As the chimera considered his options, Anon’s party almost got away with simply tip-hoofing around him, but before anyone could make it completely pass, he broke his chain of thought and came with a conclusion.
>“Very well. We will let you pass.”
>The party gives a cheer for their combatant’s clever little brain, with high hoofs and side hugs all around, but there’s still a catch.
>“We shall not fight you...for now. But we will follow you to the mountain peak, only to be sure you don’t die upon leaving, and to be sure whether or not we get our reward for not killing you.”
Fair enough. As long as you’re tagging along, would you mind guiding us along?
>It nods at the statement.
>“Very well. Follow us.”
>The chimera turns his back to them, and begins walking forward. How convenient, considering the fog.
>They follow behind, but Dash isn’t too sure about this.
>She floats to Anon’s ear and tells him, “I don’t know about this. Can’t we just clobber it like the others?”
Chimeras have unpredictable abilities, and health several times greater than ours [300 HP, though they have no buffs]. Also, whispering is pointless. They’re hearing is impeccable.
>The chimera turns its goat head a full 180 degrees with his tail to Dash, telling her, “You’re quite the confident one, aren’t you?”
>Dash *hmphs* at his words.
>Okay now, what will be their encounter this time?
>You pull a new card to reveal...Crystallized Aracrustations.
>Interesting.