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EmZee712

Facade Stageplay - Stereotypical 'ghetto' Black Man #1

EmZee712
Jul 15th, 2014
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  1.  
  2. FACADE STAGEPLAY
  3. Tue Jul 15 23 46 32 2014
  4.  
  5. TRIP
  6. Where are the new wine glasses?
  7.  
  8. GRACE
  9. What for?
  10.  
  11. TRIP
  12. That should be obvious!
  13.  
  14. GRACE
  15. Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!
  16.  
  17. KHA
  18. Damn I'm black
  19.  
  20. TRIP
  21. Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!
  22.  
  23. KHA
  24. White people
  25.  
  26. GRACE
  27. What -- Trip, don't give me that look!
  28.  
  29. GRACE
  30. You're going to drive me crazy!
  31.  
  32. KHA
  33. Man my ass is itchy
  34.  
  35. (Trip opens the front door.)
  36.  
  37. TRIP
  38. Kha!!
  39.  
  40. TRIP
  41. Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! Great to see you! It's been -- (interrupted)
  42.  
  43. KHA
  44. Wassup nigga
  45.  
  46. TRIP
  47. Uh...
  48.  
  49. TRIP
  50. Uh, well, it's -- it's good to see you.
  51.  
  52. TRIP
  53. Well come on in...
  54.  
  55. GRACE
  56. No, no, here we are!
  57.  
  58. GRACE
  59. Kha,
  60.  
  61. GRACE
  62. Hi! How are you? God it's been a while!
  63.  
  64. TRIP
  65. Yeah, it has been a long time.
  66.  
  67. KHA
  68. Straight my nigs
  69.  
  70. GRACE
  71. Uh...
  72.  
  73. GRACE
  74. So, come in, make yourself at home... -- (interrupted)
  75.  
  76. (KHA comforts grace.)
  77.  
  78. GRACE
  79. H-mmm (happy smile sound)
  80.  
  81. GRACE
  82. By the way, you look wonderful!
  83.  
  84. TRIP
  85. Kha, let me get you a -- (interrupted)
  86.  
  87. KHA
  88. Yeah you like dat don'tcha?
  89.  
  90. TRIP
  91. Uh -- well, we should drink.
  92.  
  93. (Trip closes the front door.)
  94.  
  95. (KHA comforts grace.)
  96.  
  97. TRIP
  98. How about a martini?
  99.  
  100. GRACE
  101. Oh, uh, you're hugging me...
  102.  
  103. KHA
  104. Hell yeah
  105.  
  106. TRIP
  107. Oh, well that was nice, I'm sure Grace appreciates that. -- (interrupted)
  108.  
  109. TRIP
  110. Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini.
  111.  
  112. GRACE
  113. No no,
  114.  
  115. GRACE
  116. Kha, maybe you'd like just a simple glass of white wine?
  117.  
  118. TRIP
  119. but... uhh...
  120.  
  121. KHA
  122. I need some beer
  123.  
  124. GRACE
  125. Good, okay!
  126.  
  127. TRIP
  128. No no, that's fine, that's fine...
  129.  
  130. TRIP
  131. Some other time -- I have a repertoire of classic drink concoctions that never go out of style.
  132.  
  133. TRIP
  134. Grace, I assume you also don't want a real drink, correct?
  135.  
  136. GRACE
  137. You know, I don't want to drink tonight.
  138.  
  139. GRACE
  140. Just some mineral water for me.
  141.  
  142. (KHA picks up the advice ball.)
  143.  
  144. (The advice ball reads, "I Doubt It")
  145.  
  146. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  147.  
  148. TRIP
  149. Okay.
  150.  
  151. (The advice ball reads, "Who Knows")
  152.  
  153. KHA
  154. Damn trip, yo bitch is fine
  155.  
  156. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  157.  
  158. (The advice ball reads, "Sure Thing")
  159.  
  160. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  161.  
  162. (The advice ball reads, "Never")
  163.  
  164. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  165.  
  166. (The advice ball reads, "Perhaps Soon")
  167.  
  168. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  169.  
  170. (The advice ball reads, "Could Be")
  171.  
  172. KHA
  173. You gonna make that drink or wha
  174.  
  175. KHA
  176. C'mon nigga
  177.  
  178. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  179.  
  180. (The advice ball reads, "Perhaps Soon")
  181.  
  182. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  183.  
  184. (The advice ball reads, "Never")
  185.  
  186. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  187.  
  188. (The advice ball reads, "No")
  189.  
  190. KHA
  191. Damn what you doin bitch
  192.  
  193. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  194.  
  195. (The advice ball reads, "Why Not")
  196.  
  197. KHA
  198. The fuck
  199.  
  200. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  201.  
  202. (KHA puts down the advice ball.)
  203.  
  204. GRACE
  205. uh...
  206.  
  207. TRIP
  208. uh... uh, heh heh...
  209.  
  210. TRIP
  211. wha...
  212.  
  213. TRIP
  214. well...
  215.  
  216. GRACE
  217. (nervous coughing)
  218.  
  219. TRIP
  220. ha ha...
  221.  
  222. GRACE
  223. ha ha ha ha ha, heh...
  224.  
  225. TRIP
  226. heh, ha ha ha!
  227.  
  228. KHA
  229. Drink
  230.  
  231. GRACE
  232. ha ha ha ha!!
  233.  
  234. TRIP
  235. Ha ha ha, Kha,
  236.  
  237. GRACE
  238. heh heh heh...
  239.  
  240. TRIP
  241. heh, you had me going there for a sec...
  242.  
  243. TRIP
  244. heh, ha ha...
  245.  
  246. TRIP
  247. Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh...
  248.  
  249. KHA
  250. Where my drink at
  251.  
  252. TRIP
  253. mess with us ...
  254.  
  255. TRIP
  256. heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?
  257.  
  258. (KHA picks up the advice ball.)
  259.  
  260. (The advice ball reads, "Perhaps Soon")
  261.  
  262. (KHA shakes the advice ball.)
  263.  
  264. TRIP
  265. heh, ha ha...
  266.  
  267. (KHA puts down the advice ball.)
  268.  
  269. TRIP
  270. (big sigh)
  271.  
  272. TRIP
  273. Anyway, uh... what were we talking about?
  274.  
  275. GRACE
  276. So, Kha, -- (interrupted)
  277.  
  278. KHA
  279. Drinks
  280.  
  281. TRIP
  282. Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix you a real drink in not too long...
  283.  
  284. (KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
  285.  
  286. GRACE
  287. So, about my decorating...
  288.  
  289. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  290.  
  291. (KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
  292.  
  293. (KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
  294.  
  295. GRACE
  296. (little sigh) You know, I've been collecting these little glass sculptures for a long time now.
  297.  
  298. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  299.  
  300. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  301.  
  302. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  303.  
  304. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  305.  
  306. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  307.  
  308. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  309.  
  310. TRIP
  311. Everybody always comments on Grace's sculptures.
  312.  
  313. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  314.  
  315. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  316.  
  317. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  318.  
  319. (KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
  320.  
  321. GRACE
  322. but now when I look at them, they give me a such a... such a headache. -- (interrupted)
  323.  
  324. KHA
  325. Kill that bitch
  326.  
  327. (KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
  328.  
  329. KHA
  330. Which one of you got the glass
  331.  
  332. GRACE
  333. what...
  334.  
  335. TRIP
  336. How can you...
  337.  
  338. GRACE
  339. He's...
  340.  
  341. GRACE
  342. Before we forget... um...
  343.  
  344. GRACE
  345. Oh we need to make sure we -- we look at... uh...
  346.  
  347. GRACE
  348. the metal thing behind the toaster...
  349.  
  350. TRIP
  351. Yeah, yeah...
  352.  
  353. KHA
  354. A television
  355.  
  356. GRACE
  357. Oh, right! Right! Yeah...
  358.  
  359. KHA
  360. Cause you niggas hardly go out
  361.  
  362. TRIP
  363. we should get that looked at...
  364.  
  365. GRACE
  366. (long release sigh)
  367.  
  368. KHA
  369. Melons
  370.  
  371. TRIP
  372. Okay, Kha, you know what? I think you should leave.
  373.  
  374. KHA
  375. Man fuck you nigga
  376.  
  377. (Trip opens the front door.)
  378.  
  379. TRIP
  380. We'll be fine -- you just have to go.
  381.  
  382. (Trip closes the front door.)
  383.  
  384. KHA
  385. I don't need your cracker shit
  386.  
  387. (KHA knocks on the front door.)
  388.  
  389. (KHA knocks on the front door.)
  390.  
  391. (KHA knocks on the front door.)
  392.  
  393. (KHA knocks on the front door.)
  394.  
  395. (KHA knocks on the front door.)
  396.  
  397. (KHA knocks on the front door.)
  398.  
  399. KHA
  400. fuck yo bitch
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