FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - Threatbutt SWATCH TIME AI

LAS VEGAS RESTROOM STALL SIX --(BUSINESS WIRE)--ThreatButt, the leading analogue cryptography solutioneer, two days before the conferences actually started unveiled SWATCH TIME AI. The world's first cryptographic system based on quantum entanglement of Swatch's failed Beats time product. This amazing discovery is based on ThreatButt's Chief Vice Presidental Director of Product finding an old Swatch watch glued to an RSA SecureID token, in the back of his cable drawer.

Utilizing the power of imaginizing and harnessing the raw cryptographic power of Made Up Maths, ThreatButt is ambivalent about releasing SWATCH TIME AI as their exclusive "Gentleman's suite" in the restroom outside the exhibit hall at BlackHat, Mandalay Bay Convention Center.

"Today's dropping, I mean, releasing of this revolutionary one way encryption product guarantees that no one, not even you, can gain access to your most valuable asset." said Krapier, Super Executive Ultra Chief Marketing Officer at Large. "This is the only product that stops hackers dead, as due to math we can't explain, there is literally no way to get the data back, even if you have a working Swatch Beats Watch.".

In March of 2019, Threatbutt's deep heat research team surprised the world in a breakthrough of the amount of ketamine a group of people could consume and still remain employed. During this time-stretched K-hole, or "Time hole" as the cryptographic community is refusing to call it, the team stumbled upon an old VHS copy of Young Einstein. After watching the cassette for many hours, they realized they would have to find a VCR player if they wanted to actually watch the movie, so they found the least horse tranquilized intern, gave them the CEO's stolen Amex, and through a series of arcane movements, dribbling of K snot, and barking, begged them to rent it off iTunes.

That story is in no way related to this discovery though, but it's still a lot more realistic than some Black Hat sponsor talks.

Threatbutt already hold a number of patents in the field of quazi-cryptography, ever since they learnt they can just print them out from https://www.uspto.gov/ and hold them. Speaking on ICQ to Richard Derriere, CEO of Threatbutt, he said on the subject "We looked at going through the patent process for SWATCH TIME AI, but it looked really really complicated, and would mean it might have to go through some kind of peer review, which would effectively be giving away all our secrets."

ThreatButt were meant to give a presentation at this year's BlackHat dance music festival of Dell laptops, but failed to, due to a misunderstanding about how much 5 grams of ketamine was in ounces, and what happens if you lick the window to the shark tank at the Mandalay Bay Convention Center's aquarium when you think grams are more than ounces.