The Gardener

A certain show has been extremely popular on public television recently. In fact with how well it's doing, the man in charge of his show has been begged by countless premium channels to come work for them. Of course the man always turns them down, he isn't in it for money, what he does is a passion.
A couple of years ago the young man had finally decided to put his green thumb to use. By day he's a gardener, but by the evening he records himself affectionatly tending to his plants on top of his studio apartment where he rents a large greenhouse. The show explains how to properly take care of the beautiful flowers or well groomed hedges he presents and nurtures. It's low budget and often times the dirt covered man starts to make the show right after work. His work pants still covered in soil along with his dirt stained tank top as the sweat from his toil shows his hard work and dedication.
Analysts and producers are melting their brains trying to figure out how a show could be so popular. They've watched it, it's the most boring thing they've ever seen! The man's awfully quiet through most of it, as he's a man who likes to keep to himself, only ever speaking to explain the care taking and "beauty" of whatever flora he's tending to at the moment. To be honest, besides having a powerful and masculine build he isn't all that handsome, there's no music so the show is eerily quiet, only the soft rustling of leaves or the sounds of water being poured, occasionally a sniff. Sure the facts and tips he gives are very informative and proven to be helpful, but you could sum up most of what he says in an hour long episode into a ten minute u-tube video.

Today the young groundskeeper is brought into the office, he isn't showy, he wears a clean pair of jeans, a plain white T-shirt with a pocket and his work boots.
"Thomas, you have your hands on quite the show."
The gardener smiles.
"Thank you."
"And we're obviously really happy you've chosen to keep working for our meager station. We wish we could pay you more…"
Thomas waves it away with his hand. The man in a suit across from the gardener smiles.
"I can tell you care for your show. We don't wish to change a thing, I believe that's why you've stuck with us…?"
Thomas nods again.
"Well, I won't force this on you, but we've been getting a lot of fan mail for you and the media page has been blowing up…"
The suit turns his monitor around before scrolling through hundreds and hundreds of posts on social media, eventually stopping before getting anywhere near a quarter of the way through.
"It would probably be a good idea to answer some of the comments on your show. It gives you a chance to interact with the fans. Perhaps answer any questions they may have?"
Thomas scratches his chin intrigued.
"I'm flattered...I suppose I could, as thanks for watching."
The suit smiles.
"I've heard you don't have a laptop or even a smartphone, so here's a laptop the station is providing you."
Thomas takes the laptop and thanks the man.
"If you need anything just let us know!"

After setting up the laptop Thomas starts recording his show live. He waters the dahlias and prunes the Dicksonia antarctica that's so popular with the viewers, a beautiful tall fern tree with long fronds.
"It's important to keep this shaded, usually under other deciduous trees, they need good care when watering if they can be exposed to cold climates. Frost damage is extrememly common with them."
He gently rubs the healthy leaves as he waters them, avoiding pouring towards the center.
After finishing the ferns off with the silver and illustrious Athyrium niponicum, the man turns towards the camera.
"Um...I have received a bunch of mail from..well you! Thank you so much, I'm so happy others have taken such interest in flora, they're a beautiful and important part of the world's ecosystem."
He says nervously before working the laptop.
"As thanks, I thought I would read off some of your emails. Maybe answer any questions I haven't covered in the show."
Thomas clears his throat.
"Ahem! This one is from Mabel, "I live in a hot environment with my grandson and I've wanted to brighten up my garden. I can't afford to use too much water as we have droughts quite often. What do you suggest?""
Thomas smiles at the camera.
"I recommend African lilies, they add a beautiful blue to your garden and can stand intense heat and require very little water. Thanks for writing Mabel, I hope I helped."
Thomas loosens up before moving onto the next email.
"Marigold has asked, "Do you have a wife?""
Thomas turns a bit red on his tanned skin as he rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"U-um...W-well no. Kind of a strange thing to ask Marigold. Thanks for watching though…"
Thomas chuckles awkwardly before clearing his throat.
"This is from, BarometzRBest, I assume some sort of pen name, forgive me if I'm a little slow on technology…She says, "Could you please come fertilize my soil?" Huh, I don't see why you'd need me to, surely there's reputable landscapers where you live? If you live nearby I guess I could help you if you need."
Thomas smiles innocently as he scrolls to the next email.
"LilirauneIzLove, guess another penname, says, "I wish he was in our bed, would definitely take his seed before my sister could.fudkdndykahsgdus No she wont! I WILL! GFIBfuhdryJnfqoqihHains" Huh? My seeds aren't anything special LilrauneIzLove, you might want to get your keyboard checked out as well. Thank you for watching."
He smiles, "these viewers sure say some strange things" he thinks to himself.
"I assure you guys, anything I can do, you can too."
Thomas says in a blush as he grows embarassed at the praise.
"Alright, "M4nDr4G0R4 says, "I have soiled my pot so many times to the thought of his big arms and hard "stamen". What?"
Thomas rereads the comment a hundred times.
"I don't really know what you mean M4nDr4G0R4, but keep up the good work!"
Unbenkownst to Thomas, that phrase had just send a mandragora into throes of intense pleasure.
"A few more should do it. TwistedTentacle asks, "Thomas! Please lick the leaves on your Asplenium scolopendrium! Slowly!" Uh...Why? Are you afraid they're poisonous? They aren't I assure you. Any poisonous plants are explicitly stated before I tend to them...but I guess if you're doubtful…"
The gardener gently grabs hold of the fern's frond before slowly leaning into it and placing a long lick up the fern.
He lets go of the fern before cleaning it off with a little water, smacking his lips.
"Not bad."
The social media page is under maintenance as hundreds of comments are rapidly posted with one hand.
"Uhh, ok. So we have a post from Zyferia, hello Zyferia, beautiful name. "I want Thomas to yank my leaves as he-" Oh goodness…"
Thomas gulps audiably as his face grows as red as the poppies behind him.
"Ah, uh, umm...T-Thank you for commenting but maybe...t-this should be kept in a more private space. N-Next!"
He clears his throat and scrolls down.
"Fera says, "Big manly gardeners like Thomas were made for Fat Alraune Pus-" Good lord! M-Miss Fera please do not imply such things about me or the kind Alraunes of the world. T-Thank you for watching."
Thomas shakes visibly in embarassment. Being terrible around others, he has very little resistance to such talk.
"Mindy asks, "Thomas! How are you?" Oh, good, thanks Mindy."
Thomas calms down a bit and he takes a breath.
"Would you be interested in sucking my roots while I choke on yo-" M-Mindy I don't even know you miss! T-There's a process to such things…"
Thomas grumbles before scrolling down the list, his face growing more and more red before he finally shuts the laptop.
"Uh...A-Ah...Erm…"
The cameraman chuckles to himself before clearing his throat.
"You alright Thomas? We're live man."
Thomas nods and stiffly walks back to his plants.

"Thomas my boy!"
The suited man spreads his arms in joy.
"Those rating were through the roof! What a great idea it was for you to read those comments!"
Thomas blushes a bit as he remembers the last airing.
"All this publicity, look flowerchannel.org/thomas has been posting this clip from your show on all over!"
Thomas feels dirty as he watches a clip of him licking a fern, some in slow motion, some with music over, some were even used as memes.
"/thomas/ isn't the only thing that's been exploding, we had to make your own website after the social page was destroyed. You know Thomas…"
The man leans forward as Thomas shifts uncomfortably.
"How do you feel about a meet and greet? Sign some posters? Shake some hands? Give the fans what they want!"