Instantly ended a 15 year friendship because he let slip that he was hoping for my husband to die

First, I want to say a very big THANKYOU!! to the people that recommend Lundy's book, "Why does he do that?"

It empowered me to instantly recognize what all was happening. There are free copies online, I highly recommend it too.

Second, the story:

After 15 years, my (ex)friend revealed he was waiting & hoping for my beloved husband of 2 decades to die because he thinks he's "the next logical husband"

As if that's how feelings work?!?!?

We were in the middle of a conversation about how he can't find someone that will date him. He's been thoughtful and kind with me for 15 years so I didn't have any feedback about what might be going wrong for him.

Then, he mentioned offhand that he's annoyed how "women keep bringing up that I won't listen when they go on and on about how much danger they feel around men"

Halfway through my response of, "well, men are the ones that murder us - " suddenly his whole personality changed and he got furious, cut off my response, and shouted, "oh here we go! F#$%ing women b%#$%ing again,!!! You know I'm only hanging around until <husbands name> inevitably dies because I'm you're next logical husband and I'm losing patience!! " and during that last word, he realized how phenomenally badly he slipped up. </husbands>

I thought he was one of my best friends, but apparently he never saw me as a person - just a logical prize to win someday when my rock climber husband 'inevitably' has a fatal accident.

He tricked me for 15 years, but now he now holds the record in my life for going from best friend to blocked in less than 1 minute.

Thankyou again to those who suggested reading the book to understand the entitlement abuse mentality some people have. It's already helping me!!

Btw, my beloved hubby and I double checked all his gear and he reminded me of all the safety protocols he and partners use - to reassure me of how he's trying to stick around with me as long as possible. And I always wear my helmet at the base of climbs even when not climbing. We're in this together.

Lol, after a love like this, as if anyone thinks logic is how I'd find my next partner... entitlement is a hell of a drug eh?

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*editing to add these links to free pdf versions... a big thankyou to the redditors that provided them in the comments!!

https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html

https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat

And to say that if anyone needs them, abuse hotlines can provide support and local resources to help you get away from or stay away from abuse. You are worthy 💕