Being quarantined with my (21m) FWB (20f) has changed things between us immensely. I think I realized that I love her, but I almost feel that telling her after so long would be unfair.

Last post got deleted due to my potty mouth so I edited a bit and was told to repost I’ve been sleeping with her for the last 3ish years. We’ve been really really good friends, and I don’t just mean like that. She knows everything about me, and I her. For the first year we were friends with benefits, but not exclusive. We still dated and saw and slept with other people, just slept together a lot as well. Seeing each other with other people kind of made both of us jealous so we decided to make it exclusive to save some time from the STD testing and whatnot. Decided we’d still be friends with benefits and only have sex with each other, but we could still date other people and see if that goes anywhere. It really didn’t ever go anywhere for MANY reasons. We’ve both still been really jealous but we don’t express it.

She has asked a couple times like a year ago why I didn’t wanna be anything more with her, all it did was cause a huge fight because I genuinely didn’t know why. I do love her and always have, but it’s more so how you’d love any of your friends, it wasn’t being IN love I don’t think. So she just dropped it and hasn’t brought it back up. We spend a lot of time together, she comes over a lot and we watch movies and play games and cuddle but we rarely ever dont have sex afterwards. Sometimes I feel like I have to sleep with her after those things just so it doesn’t feel weird. It’s just like become one of those “just do it so you don’t catch feelings or get your hopes up” things I guess. But with COVID-19, she had to move out of her dorm and so she moved in with me temporarily. It’s been fun, having a “roommate” but it’s really starting to change things.

For the first week she just wanted to sleep on the couch. She told me she didn’t wanna make me uncomfortable or get in the way so she just slept on the sofa. But her back started hurting so I just let her sleep with me, I didn’t mind. I prefer sleeping with her, she makes me comfortable. And ever since then she’s been sleeping in my bed with me. We cuddle before we sleep now. We started having slower, more passionate sex which is FAR from our usual. I dunno, it didn’t feel right to get rough with her anymore. I think I really do love her now, but I feel guilty for it. For the last 2 years she’s been giving me signs and I saw them but ignored them. So she stopped trying, and things were going smoothly and I feel like a horrible guy for now wanting more when she probably is over it. It took me SO long to see how beautiful she was and I feel like an ass. I’ve always known that she was sexy, but I guess I never really did a double take and realized how beautiful she is. Her body, her face, her hair, who she is. She is the goofiest girl you’d ever know. Being quarantined with her has made me realize a lot. She sings a fuck ton when she’s bored and doesn’t think I’m watching (her voice is.. holy balls dude). She eats jello like 5 fucking times a day and her face LIGHTS up when she does. She does these ridiculous dances. She has made a habit of asking me to paint and bake with her at like 4 am and I’ve never felt so like.. Warm? She buys my dog a treat every time she does Walmart delivery and something about that is like pure to me. I think my dog loves her more than I do at this point lmao. I don’t know, just these little things that I never really knew about her are completing the puzzle to this beautiful dork of a woman and making me realize that I want more.

I just don’t feel right asking her to be more with me. She wanted it before and I didn’t. She’s cried many times wondering why she wasn’t good enough to be my girlfriend. And then she got over me. Would it be wrong of me to ask her to be my girlfriend after so many times of rejecting her advances and hurting her? I feel like it’d be a bad move, and might ruin things for good. 3 years of me not thinking of her as more than a friend and a fuck buddy, and now I’m in love with her? Wow. I suck:/

TL;DR: I’ve started to realize that I love my FWB of 3 years but after me rejecting becoming more with her so many times, I feel it’d be unfair of me to tell her. Would I be a horrible person if I did, and if not how should I do it in a delicate way?