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SpongebobReviews Jul 11th, 2018 61 Never
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  1. (Title Card: Breath Of Fresh Squidward)
  2.  
  3. *Camera zooms in on Squid's house*
  4.  
  5. Squidward: "Another morning, another day of dealing wi-"
  6.  
  7. Spongebob and Patrick: "GOOD MORNING, SQUIDWARD!"
  8.  
  9. Squidward: "Speak of the devil... wait, why are you two here? And how'd you get into my house!?"
  10.  
  11. Spongebob: "Don't worry about it, Squidward! We've been doing this for a while now."
  12.  
  13. *Cut to a scrapbook with pictures of Squidward sleeping in odd and unusual position*
  14.  
  15. Squidward: "That's... really weird. Anyway, could you two idiots leave? I have to get ready for work!"
  16.  
  17. Patrick: "Don't worry, Squidward! Me and Spongebob took care of that for you..."
  18.  
  19. *Timecard labeled "Meanwhile"*
  20.  
  21. Mr Krabs: "Wait! COME BACK!"
  22.  
  23. *Camera cuts to a truck labeled "Free Money"*
  24.  
  25. Plankton: *Leans out the truck window* "That's right! Keep on "trucking" Krabs! Hahahahahaha! I crack myself up..."
  26.  
  27. Squidward: *Narrows eyes* "I don't even want to think about what you two did... Oh well. I suppose I should thank you two for giving me the day off. Breakfast, gentlemen?"
  28.  
  29. Spongebob and Patrick: "YES, PLEASE!"
  30.  
  31. *Camera cuts to Squid's kitchen*
  32.  
  33. Squidward: "Alright, you two. I'm going to make breakfast, so just follow one simple rule of mine... DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"
  34.  
  35. *Cut to Spongebob and Patrick floating levitating*
  36.  
  37. Squidward: "Good."
  38.  
  39. *Squidward walks offscreen*
  40.  
  41. Patrick: "Spongebob! Look at that fancy toaster!"
  42.  
  43. Spongebob: "Patrick, didn't Squidward say to *imitating Squidward* 'NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!'?"
  44.  
  45. Patrick: "Yeah. But he never said we couldn't touch it with something else."
  46.  
  47. *Both have sneaky expressions on their faces*
  48.  
  49. Squidward: "Alright, breakfast is do- WAIT DON'T STICK THAT FORK IN THERE!"
  50.  
  51. *Patrick stumbles and the fork falls in the toaster*
  52.  
  53. All three, while being shocked: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
  54.  
  55. *All three fall to the ground, charred*
  56.  
  57. Squidward: "Ugh... wait. Hold on a second... I feel... SO COMPASSIONATE!"
  58.  
  59. *Camera cuts to storm clouds inside Squidward's head being replaced by the sun*
  60.  
  61. Spongebob and Patrick: "Will you stop talking about happiness, you nitwit?!"
  62.  
  63. *Cut to Spongebob and Patrick, who now have grouchy expressions*
  64.  
  65. Squidward: "Hey Spongebob! Do you wanna go jellyfishing, or go see a movie, or-"
  66.  
  67. Spongebob: "SHUT YOUR TRAP! I don't have time for your nonsense. I have a date with a little ukulele practice, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way."
  68.  
  69. Squidward: *Expression changes to a slightly less happy one* "Alright then, see you later. Oh! How about you Patr-" *Patrick's rock slams shut*. "Point... taken. I'll guess I'll have to find someone else to have fun with."
  70.  
  71. *"Meanwhile" time card*
  72.  
  73. Spongebob: "A one, a two, a one-two-three-four(Title Card: Breath Of Fresh Squidward)
  74.  
  75. *Camera zooms in on Squid's house*
  76.  
  77. Squidward: "Another morning, another day of dealing wi-"
  78.  
  79. Spongebob and Patrick: "GOOD MORNING, SQUIDWARD!"
  80.  
  81. Squidward: "Speak of the devil... wait, why are you two here? And how'd you get into my house!?"
  82.  
  83. Spongebob: "Don't worry about it, Squidward! We've been doing this for a while now."
  84.  
  85. *Cut to a scrapbook with pictures of Squidward sleeping in odd and unusual position*
  86.  
  87. Squidward: "That's... really weird. Anyway, could you two idiots leave? I have to get ready for work!"
  88.  
  89. Patrick: "Don't worry, Squidward! Me and Spongebob took care of that for you..."
  90.  
  91. *Timecard labeled "Meanwhile"*
  92.  
  93. Mr Krabs: "Wait! COME BACK!"
  94.  
  95. *Camera cuts to a truck labeled "Free Money"*
  96.  
  97. Plankton: *Leans out the truck window* "That's right! Keep on "trucking" Krabs! Hahahahahaha! I crack myself up..."
  98.  
  99. Squidward: *Narrows eyes* "I don't even want to think about what you two did... Oh well. I suppose I should thank you two for giving me the day off. Breakfast, gentlemen?"
  100.  
  101. Spongebob and Patrick: "YES, PLEASE!"
  102.  
  103. *Camera cuts to Squid's kitchen*
  104.  
  105. Squidward: "Alright, you two. I'm going to make breakfast, so just follow one simple rule of mine... DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"
  106.  
  107. *Cut to Spongebob and Patrick floating levitating*
  108.  
  109. Squidward: "Good."
  110.  
  111. *Squidward walks offscreen*
  112.  
  113. Patrick: "Spongebob! Look at that fancy toaster!"
  114.  
  115. Spongebob: "Patrick, didn't Squidward say to *imitating Squidward* 'NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!'?"
  116.  
  117. Patrick: "Yeah. But he never said we couldn't touch it with something else."
  118.  
  119. *Both have sneaky expressions on their faces*
  120.  
  121. Squidward: "Alright, breakfast is do- WAIT DON'T STICK THAT FORK IN THERE!"
  122.  
  123. *Patrick stumbles and the fork falls in the toaster*
  124.  
  125. All three, while being shocked: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
  126.  
  127. *All three fall to the ground, charred*
  128.  
  129. Squidward: "Ugh... wait. Hold on a second... I feel... SO COMPASSIONATE!"
  130.  
  131. *Camera cuts to storm clouds inside Squidward's head being replaced by the sun*
  132.  
  133. Spongebob and Patrick: Will you stop talking about happiness, you nitwit?!
  134.  
  135. *Cut to Spongebob and Patrick, who now have grouchy expressions*
  136.  
  137. Squidward: Hey Spongebob! Do you wanna go jellyfishing, or go see a movie, or-
  138.  
  139. Spongebob: SHUT YOUR TRAP! I don't have time for your nonsense. I have a date with a little ukulele practice, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way.
  140.  
  141. Squidward: *Expression changes to a slightly less happy one* Alright then. See you later... Oh! How about you Patr- *Patrick's rock slams shut*. Point... taken. I'll guess I'll have to find someone else to have fun with.
  142.  
  143. *"Meanwhile" time card*
  144.  
  145. Spongebob: A one, a two, a one-two-three-four: *Loud and poorly strung ukulele music echoes from Spongebob's house, spreading all across Bikini Bottom*.
  146.  
  147. Old Man Jenkins: Poor fella. Tuberculosis catches up with us all...
  148.  
  149. Gary: Bleugh. *Gary puts on headphones and retreats into his shell*.
  150.  
  151. Squidward: Could that be... yes! It is! A fellow instrument player! I gotta grab my clarinet! *Squid digs through his closets, accidentally pulling out Old Man Jenkins*
  152.  
  153. Old Man Jenkins: I'm sorry about the tuberculosis, sonny.
  154.  
  155. Old Man Jenkins: "Poor fella. Tuberculosis catches up with us all..."
  156.  
  157. Gary: Bleugh. *Gary puts on headphones and retreats into his shell*.
  158.  
  159. Squidward: Could that be... yes! It is! A fellow instrument player! I gotta grab my clarinet! *Squid digs through his closets, accidentally pulling out Old Man Jenkins*
  160.  
  161. Old Man Jenkins: I'm sorry about the tuberculosis, sonny.
  162.  
  163. Squidward: Nope. *tosses Old Man Jenkins through the window*.
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