Whiskey Lullaby

The rain just had to go and make a bad day even worse, didn't it? Kenji thought, holding the soaked umbrella above his head, trying to keep dry despite the torrential downpour that surrounded him. His black suit and tie were damp despite the fact that he had only been waiting for a short time in the rain. The air was thick with moisture, it clouded his glasses, and it made everything feel heavy and weighted down. Thin streams ran all around his feet and the soil squished under his new shoes unpleasantly.

A nice car, shiny and well cared for pulled up in the drive next to him, it's brake squealing slightly from the damp, splashing a little puddle as it stops. The windshield wipers roll back and forth, flicking droplets left and right for a few seconds before they halt. The engine dies from a low roar to a whisper. The driver's door opens and someone steps out, followed quickly by an umbrella much like his own. The man driving is blonde and thin and walks slowly around the car towards him, hand extended.

“Are you Kenji?”

Kenji recognizes the voice and realizes his mistake, taking the woman's hand after missing it once and shaking it firmly. “Yeah, that's me. You must be Akira, then? I recognize your voice from the phone.“
“The one and only. Sorry about the weather. Inverness is not a cooperative place.“
Kenji shrugs. “That's okay.” He looks up and around his covering, the rain striking his glasses. “It's appropriate, right?”

Akira shrugs. “I guess so. There's an old English custom; if it rains on a funeral, it means the deceased made it to Heaven.“

“Yeah,” he says. “I guess that's a little consolation.” He turns to Akira again. “You have my sympathies, by the way.”

Akira nods, huddling from the rain. “Thank you. Likewise.”

“Funny, isn't it? After all these years, they die within days of each other of the exact same thing?“

Akira looks away and up the hill towards a cluster of people gathered together under a white canopy. “Yeah, it's fucking hilarious.”

“I'm sorry,” Kenji hastily apologizes. “I didn't mean it like that. I was just, you know, pointing out the irony....“

“It's fine,” Akira adds quickly. “It is ironic, like a fairy tale. A pointless, little fairy tale....”

The two remain silent for a long time.
Akira shakes her head and grits her teeth. “Pointless, so pointless....”

Kenji dips his head low and turns away from her. Akira keeps talking, mostly to herself and the rain.

“She never stopped talking about him, you know. Never once. She never let anyone get close to her ever again. Lord knows I tried to set her up with a guy or three. Nice guys, too, no one else for my little sister, nothing was too good for her. But none of them matched up too him, none of them could be as great as he was. He was her first love and she never had another after him.“ Akira looks down and watches the rain wash over her expensive shoes. “I couldn't stop it. I tried to help her, but what do I know? What right do I have to say what she should have done? I left the guy I loved, too. I'm a hypocrite, that's what she called me in the end. And she was right.“

Kenji adjusts his glasses, wiping away steam from the lenses. “He was the same way. He talked about her like...like she was his Goddess, like she was his queen. He dated other girls, lots of them, but he never took them seriously. He just kept searching, trying to find one who could live up to her memory. It never worked, of course, he always set himself up for a fall. After every break up, he'd start drinking and then he'd get drunk, but he wouldn't lament losing them, he'd talk about her. 'Flower', that's what he started calling her near the end. He couldn't stand saying her name. I wasn't even allowed to say her name or even talk about her. I saw him lose it once and smash a window to a flower shop when he saw...when he saw they were selling lilies.“

Kenji shrugs. “What right do I have to judge his choices, huh? I'm the same as him, too afraid to take that chance. I left the only girl I ever loved because I was afraid. I had no right to tell him to do the very same thing I couldn't bring myself to do.“ Kenji smiles. “That's why we were friends. We were cowards. We had that in common.“

Akira looks up at Kenji. "What...what happened to Hanako? Lilly lost contact after a couple of years and we never heard from her again."

Kenji winces and looks like he wants to hide.
"What happened?" Akira asks, a dead tone in her voice.
"Hisao," Kenji starts, "he tried to make it work. The two of them tried to stay close. They even started dating for a while and I thought the two of them were going to be happy together. But he was so afraid of losing someone again...I don't know, he never really told me what happened. I think he either pushed her too far or tried to keep her too close, I don't know. He said he only wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, but what he really meant was he wanted her all too himself. He was afraid she'd leave him like Lilly did. And she did, because Hisao clung too tightly, treated her like a belonging he had to hide from the world or it would take her away from him. After she blew up and they separated, we never heard from her again. Not a word all these years. She was in a really bad place when she left, though."

Akira winces and shuts her eyes tightly. When she speaks again, it's in a pained whisper.
“One call, that's all it would have taken. Just one stupid phone call! She would have gone back! Damn it, Hisao, she would have come back!“

“He would have gone to her if she asked,“ Kenji says. ”He would have burned the earth itself to see her one more time.“

Kenji sighs. “You said if it rains that they made it to Heaven?”
Akira looks up at the slate grey sky, raindrop running down her face. “Yeah, that's what the Padre keeps telling me in Church.”
Kenji nods. “Good. Then they get to see each other one last time, at least.“

The two, long black boxes next to Kenji and Akira strike a tattoo beat with every raindrop that falls on their shiny black surfaces.

“Come on,” Akira says. “Let's get this over with. These two deserve some time alone.“

-Whiskey Lullaby is a song by Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss-