2 day HCCS "guide"

This is a list of things to do to complete a high turncount 2 day HCCS run. It is by no means the only approach. I do not claim that any of the suggested strategies are actually good; be aware that many are actually very harmful to your turncount. I've tried to note which these are. Other things that may harm your turncount include diet suggestions and a number of strategies that I've deliberately omitted because I'm a selfish prick who hates everyone and wants to watch the world burn from atop a pile of (extremely pointy) gold stars. Enjoy!

* ==> strictly turnbloat.
~ ==> skip if missing requisite iotm

[scarequotes]requires[/scarequotes]:
[spoiler]
deck
VIP
chateau
smiths
advanced saucecrafting
ode
probably a minimal combat suite.
[/spoiler]

helpful:
[/spoiler]
source of scaling monsters
CI
puck
winter garden
sombrero
turkey (mostly turnbloat)
*spleen fam
shrub
collective
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Moderately important skills in no particular order:
[spoiler]
cocoon
way of the sauce
rapid prototyping
giant growth
song of starch
spirit of ravioli or whatever the +25% hp passive is
other +hp% passives
hot resistance passives
song of sauce
song of the north
elemental saucesphere
astral shell
tao of the terrapin
olfaction
pulverize
summon annoyance %%best skill
curse of weaksauce
+item% skills
ur-kel's et al.
leash
[e|sy]mpathy
free rest skills
everything that speeds up a test marginally
[/spoiler]

Before ascending:
[spoiler]
*paint dairy goat
have ceiling fan, juice bar, foreign language tapes
choose gameinform correspondent
choose winter garden and DNA %%or beer garden with snow machine if you're bad at buying iotms before they're expensive
ice house golem thing in lavaco or beast thing in caldera, who cares
gash the jump
[/spoiler]

Valhalla:
[spoiler]
*take pilsners
be saucerer
*take astral statuette
go knoll/gnoll/muscle/whatever-you-want-to-call-it sign
ascend
[/spoiler]

Day 1:
[spoiler]
%%assumes use of a spleen familiar for turnbloat when a fairy isn't needed. Running the puck for a power pill is probably wise.
%%assumes you will buff accordingly for all contests. buffs suggested are not intended to be an exhaustive list because fuck that. Ask the modifier maximizer.
grab pork gems and sell them
cheat stats, 1952, giant growth %%550 myst, 10k meat, 1 green mana
summon smiths
acquire hairpiece
acquire saucepanic
acquire a light that never goes out %%wear these.
use 3 flaskfulls of hollow
cast 1/day stuff using chateau as needed for mp.
harvest garden
acquire and drink ice island long tea %%beer garden whatever if you're bad at buying iotms before they're expensive
drink lindy for SR number %%grab either eyedrops or epic filler.
grab beast DNA for tonic and YR painted goat %%I don't recommend this YR, but it's simple.
~grab pirate DNA tonic from dinsey %%booze contest
~grab elemental tonic, fish hybrid from caldera %%buffing hp, hot res, and/or init with non-limited stuff.
wire coiling contest %% 60 turns
use wire coiling contest reward
drink sockdollager
~grab 1-2 g-9 serums olfacting government scientist and running from unwanted encounters %%finding items in this zone reduces base drop rates throughout the zone.
unlock island %%another simplification that I wouldn't really recommend, but less so than the goat bullshit.
%%grab SR somewhere around here.
rest to level 8 %%burning mp on stuff that matters
*drink a bunch of pilsners
weapon damage contest %% 54-58 turns or so
~*acquire snow crab
*acquire charming flan
use milk
eat sleeping dog, eat weapon damage reward, eat snow crab, eat charming flan
item/booze contest %% 45-55 turns or so
YR hippy outfit
clover hippy camp in outfit for fruit baskets until a cherry is obtained. %%olfacting novelty tropical skeletons with heavy +item% as a back up or as an alternative
cook 4 sauce potions %% oil of expertise, serum of sarcasm, tomato juice, ointment of the occult
~cast simmer
burn remaining rests
nightcap with item/booze contest reward.
regret mistakes that you can't fix now because you've already nightcapped and oh fuck casting simmer now is going to ruin my +200% spell damage buff shit
attempt to adventure while overdrunk to finish things you forgot to do and encounter drunken stupor
[/spoiler]

Day 2:
[spoiler]
grab 1/day stuff.
summon smiths
cheat forest, giant growth, whatever %%+200% muscle/myst card is fine, but only summon when appropriate (i.e. later)
acquire saucepanic
acquire 3 louder than bombs
acquire headmaster's victuals
spell damage test %% should take 48-53 turns or so
YR a bunch of hot resistance garbage
cook more sauce potions %%philter of phorce, hot resistance lotions, maybe more tomato juice.
use milk
eat spell damage test reward, hot resistance dog, ice harvest + snow crab %%limp broccoli is good, too.
drink ish kabibble %%if not intending to powerlevel. otherwise both speakeasy drinks should be bee's knees and should happen later.
~grab scroll of bad stuff
take parrot
hot resistance test %%should take like 18-25 turns. Depends a lot on powders dropped for lotions and resource allocation.
drink bee's knees
use g-9 serum
burn almost all of your free rests %% plan ahead for mp concerns
~powerlevel %%scaling monsters are good. Sombreros provide stats based on your mainstat, not moxie. If this saves more turns than it cuts, do it; otherwise, don't. Figure it out.
%% choosing a combat arbitrarily from session logs: "After Battle: You gain 283 Enchantedness // You gain some Mysticality points!"
%%cheat strength card here if you intend to do so.
use equalizer
hp test %%probably 10-20 turns if following this ordering. 1 turn if you do a thing that I left out deliberately. Please don't post said thing in response if you think you know it.
use hp test reward
giant growth & LTB run
use equalizer
muscle test %% ~8 turns with some powerleveling and strength. 25-30ish without.
giant growth & LTB run
use muscle test reward
myst test %% ~1 turn with some powerleveling and good g-9 serum. 20-25ish without.
giant growth & LTB run
use myst test reward
use equalizer
moxie test %% similar to myst test.
drink hot resistance reward
familiar weight test %%47-52 turns. can be done earlier as it only requires the hot resistance test reward. If powerleveling, this is likely the proper place for it.
use reodorant
acquire +15% combat somehow
YR frat orc for deodorant %%stupid fly adventure can take a turn regardless because fuck you.
use moxie test reward
use fam weight test reward
use deodorant, snow shoes, etc.
do NC test %%24 turns
kill yourself
[/spoiler]