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- Alright
- so it's like 1880
- or something
- and there's this guy
- named Jojo
- but he's basically kenshiro
- i'll just call him not-kenshiro
- but he grows up
- some poor kid on the streets of london
- and there's rich bully kid that lives across the street
- named dio
- and dio is always beating up poor not-kenshiro
- so the the thing that pushes jojo over the edge
- is when dio literally steals his girlfriend
- as in kidnaps her
- and puts her in his giant mansion on the country side
- so jojo has to go and rescue her
- but he's a wimp
- and he can't fight at all
- he tries to go in and rescue her
- but gets beaten by dio with like one punch
- so then he goes out to try and get stronger
- by fighting on the streets of london
- but he realizes that's not fast enough
- ლ(ಠ_ಠ ლ) - Today at 8:00 PM
- and then he happens to come across some fortune teller in an alley
- and she's all like
- "You've had something taken from you, haven't you?"
- and he's like
- "yeah"
- so he makes some deal
- to accept some mask
- the fortune teller says that it'll cost him dearly to use the mask
- but he doesn't care cuz he wants to rescue his girlfriend
- so he puts this mask on
- and he gets super ripped
- he can punch super fast
- and can jump far
- anyway
- he goes back to dio's mansion
- and he easily breaks through the mansion's defenses
- beats up a bunch of guards
- bla blah blah
- so then he finally confronts dio
- and he's a vampire now
- something like "It's me Dio!?"
- or something like that idk
- so they fight
- he's like
- "Where's my girlfriend?"
- but it turns out dio made her a vampire
- so he has to kill her too
- and now he's super mad
- but he manages to kill dio by punching a hole in the wall and sunlight burns him up
- but dio's not really dead
- he's just going to comeback to life later on
- and haunt his family
- but he's left jojo alone for the rest of his life
- then the next season goes on to his grandson
- jotaro
- he's a deliquent in high school
- and he finds that same mask in his dad's attic
- and he looks at it
- and then jojo's ghost comes out
- so now they've become one
- jotaro can pretty much summon his grandpa whenever and he uses his ghost to fight
- but his grandpa also pops out at the worst times
- to make for some uncomfortable scenarios
- but anyway
- it turns out dio isn't dead
- he has comeback to life is causing trouble again
- of course jotaro doesn't want to deal with it
- because he's a rebellious teen
- he'd rather skip school and smoke cigarettes in the bathroom
- but his grandpa's ghost is like
- "You gotta be honorable and defend the Jojo name!"
- or something like that
- so in order to get his grandpa to stop cramping his style, he agrees to take down dio
- and his gang of rowdy vampires
- so he travels all around the world to find him
- including texas
- where he meets this cowboy
- he asks him to take care of some vampires terrorizing his farm
- and then jotaro is like
- "What's your name?"
- and the cowboy says "Hol Horse"
- and then jotaro is like "why do they call you that?"
- "because one time I got so hungry, I ate an entire horse"
- so he helps this hol horse guy kill some vampires that were killing his cows or something
- and he joins his party
- he also meets up with some egyptian guy
- in egypt
- helped him find some treasure in some tomb or something idk
- but now he's got this whole gang
- and he's ready to take on this vampire
- he's in new york city
- and he's got some crazy plan to make it night forever or something
- so there's this huge battle
- with all these vampires
- Hol Horse and the Egyptian agree to stay back so jotaro can go and fight dio
- there's a big long chase
- and they meet at some conscruction site
- Then dio says something like how a mortal can't possibly beat an immortal vampire
- but then he summons his ghost grandpa
- and then dio is like
- "oh no"
- so there's this big fight
- dio drops like a steam roller on jotaro
- but his ghost grandpa stopped it from crushing him
- they keep fighting
- the ritual is about to be complete but just enough sunlight has come up to weaken dio
- so then jotaro's ghost grandpa uses this opportunity to just wreck dio
- that's where the ora ora ora ora ora part comes from
- he just punches in dio in the face repeatedly
- and to beat him forever, he puts that same mask on dio's face
- so now his grandpa isn't a ghost any more
- but dio is
- so he can't take physical form anymore and can't do vampire stuff anymore
- and in the end he throws the mask in the ocean for someone else to find and get annoyed by another super powered ghost later on
- the end
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