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May 23rd, 2017
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  1. Alright
  2. so it's like 1880
  3. or something
  4. and there's this guy
  5. named Jojo
  6. but he's basically kenshiro
  7. i'll just call him not-kenshiro
  8. but he grows up
  9. some poor kid on the streets of london
  10. and there's rich bully kid that lives across the street
  11. named dio
  12. and dio is always beating up poor not-kenshiro
  13. so the the thing that pushes jojo over the edge
  14. is when dio literally steals his girlfriend
  15. as in kidnaps her
  16. and puts her in his giant mansion on the country side
  17. so jojo has to go and rescue her
  18. but he's a wimp
  19. and he can't fight at all
  20. he tries to go in and rescue her
  21. but gets beaten by dio with like one punch
  22. so then he goes out to try and get stronger
  23. by fighting on the streets of london
  24. but he realizes that's not fast enough
  25. ლ(ಠ_ಠ ლ) - Today at 8:00 PM
  26. and then he happens to come across some fortune teller in an alley
  27. and she's all like
  28. "You've had something taken from you, haven't you?"
  29. and he's like
  30. "yeah"
  31. so he makes some deal
  32. to accept some mask
  33. the fortune teller says that it'll cost him dearly to use the mask
  34. but he doesn't care cuz he wants to rescue his girlfriend
  35. so he puts this mask on
  36. and he gets super ripped
  37. he can punch super fast
  38. and can jump far
  39. anyway
  40. he goes back to dio's mansion
  41. and he easily breaks through the mansion's defenses
  42. beats up a bunch of guards
  43. bla blah blah
  44. so then he finally confronts dio
  45. and he's a vampire now
  46. something like "It's me Dio!?"
  47. or something like that idk
  48. so they fight
  49. he's like
  50. "Where's my girlfriend?"
  51. but it turns out dio made her a vampire
  52. so he has to kill her too
  53. and now he's super mad
  54. but he manages to kill dio by punching a hole in the wall and sunlight burns him up
  55. but dio's not really dead
  56. he's just going to comeback to life later on
  57. and haunt his family
  58. but he's left jojo alone for the rest of his life
  59. then the next season goes on to his grandson
  60. jotaro
  61. he's a deliquent in high school
  62. and he finds that same mask in his dad's attic
  63. and he looks at it
  64. and then jojo's ghost comes out
  65. so now they've become one
  66. jotaro can pretty much summon his grandpa whenever and he uses his ghost to fight
  67. but his grandpa also pops out at the worst times
  68. to make for some uncomfortable scenarios
  69. but anyway
  70. it turns out dio isn't dead
  71. he has comeback to life is causing trouble again
  72. of course jotaro doesn't want to deal with it
  73. because he's a rebellious teen
  74. he'd rather skip school and smoke cigarettes in the bathroom
  75. but his grandpa's ghost is like
  76. "You gotta be honorable and defend the Jojo name!"
  77. or something like that
  78. so in order to get his grandpa to stop cramping his style, he agrees to take down dio
  79. and his gang of rowdy vampires
  80. so he travels all around the world to find him
  81. including texas
  82. where he meets this cowboy
  83. he asks him to take care of some vampires terrorizing his farm
  84. and then jotaro is like
  85. "What's your name?"
  86. and the cowboy says "Hol Horse"
  87. and then jotaro is like "why do they call you that?"
  88. "because one time I got so hungry, I ate an entire horse"
  89. so he helps this hol horse guy kill some vampires that were killing his cows or something
  90. and he joins his party
  91. he also meets up with some egyptian guy
  92. in egypt
  93. helped him find some treasure in some tomb or something idk
  94. but now he's got this whole gang
  95. and he's ready to take on this vampire
  96. he's in new york city
  97. and he's got some crazy plan to make it night forever or something
  98. so there's this huge battle
  99. with all these vampires
  100. Hol Horse and the Egyptian agree to stay back so jotaro can go and fight dio
  101. there's a big long chase
  102. and they meet at some conscruction site
  103. Then dio says something like how a mortal can't possibly beat an immortal vampire
  104. but then he summons his ghost grandpa
  105. and then dio is like
  106. "oh no"
  107. so there's this big fight
  108. dio drops like a steam roller on jotaro
  109. but his ghost grandpa stopped it from crushing him
  110. they keep fighting
  111. the ritual is about to be complete but just enough sunlight has come up to weaken dio
  112. so then jotaro's ghost grandpa uses this opportunity to just wreck dio
  113. that's where the ora ora ora ora ora part comes from
  114. he just punches in dio in the face repeatedly
  115. and to beat him forever, he puts that same mask on dio's face
  116. so now his grandpa isn't a ghost any more
  117. but dio is
  118. so he can't take physical form anymore and can't do vampire stuff anymore
  119. and in the end he throws the mask in the ocean for someone else to find and get annoyed by another super powered ghost later on
  120. the end
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