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- Andrew names the ssf2 roster
- Mario: A french italiano kid who works at a pizza place
- Luigi: it's my boy luigi
- Peach: The hot kardashian
- Bowser: Obeast demon
- Yoshi: A dinosaur who hasn't hit puberty
- Wario: an italian rapist
- Donkey Kong: My daddy, thicc daddy (put thicc daddy)
- Link: The rip-off of peter pan
- Zelda: She pretty hot
- Sheik: Who the hell is he
- Pikachu: ah that's my dude
- Jigglypuff: Adorable stuffed animal
- Captain Falcon: What do you call it action figure
- Mr. Game & Watch: A messed up doodle. A doodle gone wrong
- Kirby: fat piece of shit that eats everything
- Meta Knight: demonized kirby
- Bandana dee: 5-year-old who lives on the street
- Fox: cyber fox ey it's a fox i mean what else can i say
- Falco: a purple falcon that works in a lab
- Marth: an anime prince character he looks like a prince
- Pit: an angel archer
- Samus: oh the halo robot
- Zero Suit Samus: a barbie doll
- Ness: the rip-off of ash
- Chibi Robo: my sink
- Isaac: her [math's] boyfriend
- Sonic: i love that dude wait he my uh fasterable
- Tails: fast gerbil
- Black Mage: a dark scarecrow
- Sora: like her [marth] and him [goku] had a son and he's high
- Mega Man: robo kid
- Pac-Man: the dude that ate all my ghosts
- Lloyd: The gay dude that lives in a castle
- Bomberman: Robo kid's messed-up pet
- Ichigo: dude from a weird anime
- Naruto: oh my that one gay kid that everyone knows
- Luffy: when you drink too much
- Goku: That one dude who rages too much
- Sandbag: A pillow
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