View difference between Paste ID: gN4TPzG5 and xQUGZBH1
SHOW: | | - or go back to the newest paste.
1-
*** Trick joined #Puns4Fun
1+
2
<Parasight>: I win!]
3-
*** Doppler joined #Puns4Fun
3+
4
Trick is in hab's office, both dicking around as well as actually getting a ton of work done. This man really can't do taxes for shit.
5
Parasight knocks on the door
6
7
<Trick>: "...Fuck."
8
<Trick>: "I MEAN COME IN, COME IN!"
9
Trick disguises himself as Habeus and clamors into the desk seat
10
11
Parasight opens the door, and peeks his head in
12
<Parasight>: Hello?
13
<Trick>: Helloooo! I'm Mr Honda, you can call me Theo if you'd like!
14
<Parasight>: Ah, yes, I am Lev Yakimov, I came here for counselling?
15
Trick is a somewhat short, pudgy ginger, hunched over as is pantomiming Habeus' massive frame
16
17
<Trick>: Ah, riiiight. You're new, yes?
18
<Parasight>: Yes, I am on exchange program, from the school of hard knocks, yes?
19
Parasight chuckles, revealing his rows upon rows of sharp teeth
20
Trick laughs with him, pulling up his information on the computer
21
22
<Trick>: Right, right. So I'm just gonna ask soem questions to get you all in the system and you should be good to go!
23
<Parasight>: Alright, sounds good to me
24
<Trick>: So, first: What are your powers, exactly?
25
<Parasight>: Well, I can suck, and steal energy from people, and things, and my blue little eyes here help me tell what is best to eat
26
<Trick>: Aaaah, wonderful! Do you think you'll be needing any special accommodations?
27
<Parasight>: Nothing too cramped, do not wanting to be waking next to a corpse, ya know?
28
Parasight laughs
29
<Trick>: Hah, I've had my own share of tricky situations. I'm a lawyer, y'know!
30
31
Trick begins takking away on the keyboard
32
<Parasight>: Question for you?
33
<Trick>: Ahahah. Not really. I never want to law school.
34
<Parasight>: Front desk said you would be taller...and scalier, yes?
35
36
Trick 's jovial laughter slowly transforms into a terrified silence
37
<Trick>: You can...
38
<Trick>: Ooooooooh fuck.
39
<Parasight>: Is something the matter?
40
<Parasight>: You turn into giant lizard, or something?
41
42
<Trick>: Yeah, hi, I'm Hebeus' apprentice, sorta. I've been... shadowing him, while he's gone for the day.
43
<Parasight>: Oh, that is good!
44
<Trick>: I have illusion powers, and I figured I could try to play his part for more authenticity.
45
<Parasight>: Ah, sorry, I did not mean to rain on parade
46
<Trick>: But, uh, this also works. My name is John, for real.
47
<Parasight>: I knew about your powers already anyways, John
48
<Parasight>: I have special eyes
49
50
<Parasight>: My brand]
51
52
<Trick>: Heh, you sly bastard.
53
<Trick>: Anyways, we should get you all put into the system.
54
<Trick>: You wanna be an S-Man, Lev?
55
<Parasight>: S-men?
56
<Parasight>: What is that?
57
58
<Trick>: Yeah! Resident superhero team. You're allowed to help keep crime down in the city and work with the police, put your powers to good use.
59
<Trick>: You'll see them on the news every now and then.
60
<Parasight>: Oh, I would like that, To be on tv, sounds fun, yes!
61
62
<Trick>: Alright, sweet! Lemme just give you a dorm, and we'll go the Haphazard room to test out your abilities.
63
<Trick>: Considering your powers, I'm gonna have to give you a solo room. School policy, y'know, about endangering others' during sleeping conditions.
64
65
<Parasight>: ...
66
<Parasight>: I was joking about the sucking thing
67
68
<Trick>: ...
69
<Parasight>: I am not good at the joking voice, am I?
70
<Trick>: ...Could use a /liiiiiittle/ bit of work. But you'll be fine. Gimme a sec while I look through the available spaces, then...
71
<Parasight>: Can do!
72
73
<Trick>: We haaaave... a room with a little shadow wizard boy who lives here on and off, and another wizard who's usually gone.
74
<Trick>: Aaaaaand, a room with a reality warper, and an archer.
75
<Parasight>: Either of them a good looking girl, eh?
76
Parasight laughs
77
<Trick>: Uh, no. They're all men's dorms.
78
<Trick>: Also, I'm putting you in the second one, I hope you like turtles.
79
<Parasight>: I can dig it!
80
81-
<Trick>: Also try... punching things. Or doing anything a notable person can't do.
81+
82
<Trick>: After that I'll finish your paperwork and you'll be free to go.
83-
<Trick>: A *normal person]
83+
84
<Parasight>: What is the room?
85
<Trick>: I'll show you the way!
86
87
Trick timeskips to them being in the Haphazard Room
88
<Trick>: Aaaand we're here!
89
<Parasight>: That was fast!
90
91
Trick goes over to the console and summons a few things. A building, some people, a brick wall, some birds
92
<Trick>: So, uh... tell me what you're seeing with your eyes, about these things?
93
<Trick>: That a normal person would not be seeing.
94
<Parasight>: Well, people are 17 gigacalories each, and the birds, are 5 gigacalories. The Wall has structural weakpoints, there, there, and there. Very good energy, yes
95
96
<Trick>: Interesting. The people and birds aren't real, feel free to... parasite, off of them.
97
<Parasight>: Ah, yes, electrical energy is alright, but not as good as real thing
98
<Trick>: Also try... punching things. Or doing anything a normal person can't do.
99
100
Parasight walks over to the bird, and grabs at it
101
<Parasight>: Do I go full, or partial?
102
<Trick>: There's birds everywhere, knock yourself out.
103
<Parasight>: alright...
104
Parasight looks back to the bird
105
<Parasight>: Sorry Little burd
106
107
<Trick>: Also, feel free to ask me to summon anything you can demonstrate your abilities with.
108
<Trick>: Certain locations, or types of objects, whatever.
109
110
Parasight concentrates, as he begins to siphon the energy out of the bird, at full voume, turning it into a withered husk
111
<Parasight>: Mmmmmmm
112
<Parasight>: That is good
113
<Parasight>: Should keep me good until dinner
114
Trick nods
115
116
<Trick>: So you can siphon off of energy sources?
117
<Parasight>: Of all kinds, human, animal, plants, electrical, and, most importantly, sexual energy
118
Parasight laughs
119
<Trick>: Hilarious. Lemme give you some to demonstrate with.
120
121
<Doppler>: ["bring in the holographic hookers"]
122-
*** Jet joined #Puns4Fun
122+
123-
*** Jet left #Puns4Fun
123+
124
<Trick>: Can you put these different energies to use?
125
<Parasight>: Put to use?
126
<Parasight>: Well, I could eat tree, and, help a little, machine will give me a pick me up, like energy drink, but, pencil neck over there...
127
<Parasight>: Let me try
128
129
<Trick>: Y'know, like... if you were to take in a ton of electrical energy, could you zap someone?
130
Parasight walks over, and grabs at the mutant, sticxking his black claws into his face, and concentrates
131
<Parasight>: So, now this
132
Parasight lets go, and begins to summon pencils with his mind
133
134
Trick tries to remember he's dealing with a good guy here
135
<Trick>: Huh. Neat.
136
Trick dispels all the hardlight constructs
137
138
<Parasight>: Yes, but, I show neater. This man's name, is Andy Verdun, yes?
139
<Trick>: Uh, it was randomly generated, but probably.
140
<Parasight>: Well, I get some brain stuff up here too, but, best thing I can do
141
142
<Parasight>: You can make thing appear, yes?
143
<Trick>: Illusions, yeah.
144
<Parasight>: Summon Sword?
145
<Trick>: ...What?
146
<Parasight>: Watch, summon sword!
147
<Trick>: A real one or an illusion one?
148
<Parasight>: Real, I can handle real
149
150
Trick presses a few buttons and a broadsword plops on the ground next to Parasight
151
<Parasight>: are you ready?
152
<Parasight>: This is big show stopper back home!
153
Parasight picks up the sword
154
<Trick>: Ready when you are, you know my powers.
155
156
Parasight raises it above his head, and begins to lower it down his throat, slowly
157
Trick watches
158
Parasight lets go of the sword, and does a full circle around, before pulling out the sword
159
<Parasight>: Ta dah!
160
Parasight bows, wiping the sword on his tracksuit
161
<Trick>: ...Right.
162
<Parasight>: Is big trick back home, got many applause!
163
<Trick>: Hah, I can see why.
164
165
<Trick>: So, if we're done here, I think I can get your paperwork done and you can go meet your roommates.
166
<Parasight>: Alright, you need anymore questions?
167
Trick shrugs
168
169
<Doppler>: [usually background checking]
170
<Doppler>: [hint hint]
171
<Trick>: [I assumed most schools had that on record]
172
<Doppler>: [always helps to hear first haaaaand]
173
<Parasight>: It's how hab does it, Trick ]
174
<Parasight>: get ta know the kids first hand]
175
<Parasight>: Ya gotta step it up, hab is on a family day break[
176
<Parasight>: one of em strange canaidna holidays]
177
178
<Trick>: Uh... background check?
179
<Parasight>: Oh, you wish to know history little old me?
180
<Trick>: Sure. Get to know you firsthand, and all the jazz.
181
<Parasight>: Whatcha wanna know?
182
<Parasight>: Can you make chair?
183
<Trick>: ...Sure.
184
185
Trick presses a button and a replica of hab's office is created in the room
186
Trick goes back to the desk
187
Parasight sits down on the chair
188
189
<Parasight>: So, ask away?
190-
*** Doppler quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
190+
191
<Trick>: Where are you from?
192
<Parasight>: Oh, I am from the Circus!
193
<Trick>: Oh?
194
<Parasight>: Yes, I have been in circus ever since I was born
195
<Parasight>: and so have my parents, and parent's parents, and parent's parent's parents, and so
196
197
Trick pulls out a bowl of candy
198
<Parasight>: Oh, delicious!
199
Parasight grabs a handful, and pops them in his mouth
200
201
<Parasight>: So, we travel a lot, cannot give definite answerr
202
<Trick>: Ah, that's fine. So, do you have any hobbies?
203
<Parasight>: Well, aside from swallowing swords, I like to swallow, and make the foods
204
<Parasight>: And, I do enjoy being ahtletic
205
<Trick>: Aaaah, I see.
206
207
<Parasight>: Aaaaaaaaand, I do enjoy the drinking, but, I am too young in the U S of A, yes?
208
<Trick>: Hah, aren't we all.
209
<Parasight>: Oh, and reading, could not get enough back home, too heavy to carry many books on road
210
<Parasight>: but, yeah
211
<Parasight>: That is about it
212
<Trick>: We have a library here at the school! It's full of interesting, rare books
213
<Trick>: And, uh
214
Trick takes a slip of paper out of his pocket and writes down an address
215
<Trick>: here's a bar that doesn't card, in town
216
<Parasight>: Oh ho ho
217
218
Parasight pulls out a badge]
219
<Parasight>: underaged drinking is a crime, sir. You're going to jail]
220
Trick murders Parasight right then and there]
221
222
<Parasight>: I do enjoy that, yes
223
Parasight pockets the address
224
<Trick>: Well, that's all I have on the agenda. If you wanna talk, you can go to any of the guidance counselors at any time.
225
<Parasight>: Alright, thank you, Mister John
226
227
Trick stands up and throws a book at the console, successfully turning the constructs all off
228
<Trick>: See you 'round, Lev
229
Trick takes his leave
230
<Parasight>: Can do!
231
Parasight takes his Lev
232
233
<Trick>: [I hate you]
234
<Parasight>: : D]
235
236
Trick later fills out all the paperwork and thanks god he even got through that without somehow getting suspended
237
238
<Trick>: [GOOD END]
239
<Parasight>: why was he there in the first place again?]
240
Trick works in mysterious ways]
241
<Parasight>: got logs?]
242
<Trick>: ahaha nope]