View difference between Paste ID: X5U7tMR8 and khvi9tJ5
SHOW: | | - or go back to the newest paste.
1
The entire Dexfag Movie Script:
2
 
3
According to all known laws
4
of aviation,
5
 
6
 
7
there is no way a Dexfag
8
should be able to fly.
9
 
10
 
11
Its wings are too small to get
12
its fat little body off the ground.
13
 
14
 
15
The Dexfag, of course, flies anyway
16
 
17
 
18
because Dexfags don't care
19
what Giantdads think is impossible.
20
 
21
 
22
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
23
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
24
 
25
 
26
Ooh, black and yellow!
27
Let's shake it up a little.
28
 
29
 
30
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
31
 
32
 
33
Ooming!
34
 
35
 
36
Hang on a second.
37
 
38
 
39
Hello?
40
 
41
 
42
- Barry?
43
- Adam?
44
 
45
 
46
- Oan you believe this is happening?
47
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
48
 
49
 
50
Looking sharp.
51
 
52
 
53
Use the stairs. Your father
54
paid good money for those.
55
 
56
 
57
Sorry. I'm excited.
58
 
59
 
60
Here's the graduate.
61
We're very proud of you, son.
62
 
63
 
64
A perfect report card, all B's.
65
 
66
 
67
Very proud.
68
 
69
 
70
Ma! I got a thing going here.
71
 
72
 
73
- You got lint on your fuzz.
74
- Ow! That's me!
75
 
76
 
77
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
78
- Bye!
79
 
80
 
81
Barry, I told you,
82
stop flying in the house!
83
 
84
 
85
- Hey, Adam.
86
- Hey, Barry.
87
 
88
 
89
- Is that fuzz gel?
90
- A little. Special day, graduation.
91
 
92
 
93
Never thought I'd make it.
94
 
95
 
96
Three days grade school,
97
three days high school.
98
 
99
 
100
Those were awkward.
101
 
102
 
103
Three days college. I'm glad I took
104
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
105
 
106
 
107
You did come back different.
108
 
109
 
110
- Hi, Barry.
111
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
112
 
113
 
114
- Hear about Frankie?
115
- Yeah.
116
 
117
 
118
- You going to the funeral?
119
- No, I'm not going.
120
 
121
 
122
Everybody knows,
123
sting someone, you die.
124
 
125
 
126
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
127
Such a hothead.
128
 
129
 
130
I guess he could have
131
just gotten out of the way.
132
 
133
 
134
I love this incorporating
135
an amusement park into our day.
136
 
137
 
138
That's why we don't need vacations.
139
 
140
 
141
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
142
under the circumstances.
143
 
144
 
145
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
146
- We are!
147
 
148
 
149
- Dexfag-men.
150
- Amen!
151
 
152
 
153
Hallelujah!
154
 
155
 
156
Students, faculty, distinguished Dexfags,
157
 
158
 
159
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
160
 
161
 
162
Welcome, New Hive Oity
163
graduating class of...
164
 
165
 
166
...9:15.
167
 
168
 
169
That concludes our ceremonies.
170
 
171
 
172
And begins your career
173
at Honex Industries!
174
 
175
 
176
Will we pick ourjob today?
177
 
178
 
179
I heard it's just orientation.
180
 
181
 
182
Heads up! Here we go.
183
 
184
 
185
Keep your hands and antennas
186
inside the tram at all times.
187
 
188
 
189
- Wonder what it'll be like?
190
- A little scary.
191
 
192
 
193
Welcome to Honex,
194
a division of Honesco
195
 
196
 
197
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
198
 
199
 
200
This is it!
201
 
202
 
203
Wow.
204
 
205
 
206
Wow.
207
 
208
 
209
We know that you, as a Dexfag,
210
have worked your whole life
211
 
212
 
213
to get to the point where you
214
can work for your whole life.
215
 
216
 
217
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
218
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
219
 
220
 
221
Our top-secret formula
222
 
223
 
224
is automatically color-corrected,
225
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
226
 
227
 
228
into this soothing sweet syrup
229
 
230
 
231
with its distinctive
232
golden glow you know as...
233
 
234
 
235
Honey!
236
 
237
 
238
- That girl was hot.
239
- She's my cousin!
240
 
241
 
242
- She is?
243
- Yes, we're all cousins.
244
 
245
 
246
- Right. You're right.
247
- At Honex, we constantly strive
248
 
249
 
250
to improve every aspect
251
of Dexfag existence.
252
 
253
 
254
These Dexfags are stress-testing
255
a new helmet technology.
256
 
257
 
258
- What do you think he makes?
259
- Not enough.
260
 
261
 
262
Here we have our latest advancement,
263
the Krelman.
264
 
265
 
266
- What does that do?
267
- Oatches that little strand of honey
268
 
269
 
270
that hangs after you pour it.
271
Saves us millions.
272
 
273
 
274
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
275
 
276
 
277
Of course. Most Dexfag jobs are
278
small ones. But Dexfags know
279
 
280
 
281
that every small job,
282
if it's done well, means a lot.
283
 
284
 
285
But choose carefully
286
 
287
 
288
because you'll stay in the job
289
you pick for the rest of your life.
290
 
291
 
292
The same job the rest of your life?
293
I didn't know that.
294
 
295
 
296
What's the difference?
297
 
298
 
299
You'll be happy to know that Dexfags,
300
as a species, haven't had one day off
301
 
302
 
303
in 27 million years.
304
 
305
 
306
So you'll just work us to death?
307
 
308
 
309
We'll sure try.
310
 
311
 
312
Wow! That blew my mind!
313
 
314
 
315
"What's the difference?"
316
How can you say that?
317
 
318
 
319
One job forever?
320
That's an insane choice to have to make.
321
 
322
 
323
I'm relieved. Now we only have
324
to make one decision in life.
325
 
326
 
327
But, Adam, how could they
328
never have told us that?
329
 
330
 
331
Why would you question anything?
332
We're Dexfags.
333
 
334
 
335
We're the most perfectly
336
functioning society on Earth.
337
 
338
 
339
You ever think maybe things
340
work a little too well here?
341
 
342
 
343
Like what? Give me one example.
344
 
345
 
346
I don't know. But you know
347
what I'm talking about.
348
 
349
 
350
Please clear the gate.
351
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
352
 
353
 
354
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
355
 
356
 
357
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
358
- Wow.
359
 
360
 
361
I've never seen them this close.
362
 
363
 
364
They know what it's like
365
outside the hive.
366
 
367
 
368
Yeah, but some don't come back.
369
 
370
 
371
- Hey, Jocks!
372
- Hi, Jocks!
373
 
374
 
375
You guys did great!
376
 
377
 
378
You're monsters!
379
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
380
 
381
 
382
- I wonder where they were.
383
- I don't know.
384
 
385
 
386
Their day's not planned.
387
 
388
 
389
Outside the hive, flying who knows
390
where, doing who knows what.
391
 
392
 
393
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
394
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
395
 
396
 
397
Right.
398
 
399
 
400
Look. That's more pollen
401
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
402
 
403
 
404
It's just a status symbol.
405
Dexfags make too much of it.
406
 
407
 
408
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
409
and the ladies see you wearing it.
410
 
411
 
412
Those ladies?
413
Aren't they our cousins too?
414
 
415
 
416
Distant. Distant.
417
 
418
 
419
Look at these two.
420
 
421
 
422
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
423
- Let's have fun with them.
424
 
425
 
426
It must be dangerous
427
being a Pollen Jock.
428
 
429
 
430
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
431
against a mushroom!
432
 
433
 
434
He had a paw on my throat,
435
and with the other, he was slapping me!
436
 
437
 
438
- Oh, my!
439
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
440
 
441
 
442
What were you doing during this?
443
 
444
 
445
Trying to alert the authorities.
446
 
447
 
448
I can autograph that.
449
 
450
 
451
A little gusty out there today,
452
wasn't it, comrades?
453
 
454
 
455
Yeah. Gusty.
456
 
457
 
458
We're hitting a sunflower patch
459
six miles from here tomorrow.
460
 
461
 
462
- Six miles, huh?
463
- Barry!
464
 
465
 
466
A puddle jump for us,
467
but maybe you're not up for it.
468
 
469
 
470
- Maybe I am.
471
- You are not!
472
 
473
 
474
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
475
 
476
 
477
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
478
Are you Dexfag enough?
479
 
480
 
481
I might be. It all depends
482
on what 0900 means.
483
 
484
 
485
Hey, Honex!
486
 
487
 
488
Dad, you surprised me.
489
 
490
 
491
You decide what you're interested in?
492
 
493
 
494
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
495
- But you only get one.
496
 
497
 
498
Do you ever get bored
499
doing the same job every day?
500
 
501
 
502
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
503
 
504
 
505
You grab that stick, and you just
506
move it around, and you stir it around.
507
 
508
 
509
You get yourself into a rhythm.
510
It's a beautiful thing.
511
 
512
 
513
You know, Dad,
514
the more I think about it,
515
 
516
 
517
maybe the honey field
518
just isn't right for me.
519
 
520
 
521
You were thinking of what,
522
making balloon animals?
523
 
524
 
525
That's a bad job
526
for a guy with a stinger.
527
 
528
 
529
Janet, your son's not sure
530
he wants to go into honey!
531
 
532
 
533
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
534
- I'm not trying to be funny.
535
 
536
 
537
You're not funny! You're going
538
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
539
 
540
 
541
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
542
- No one's listening to me!
543
 
544
 
545
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
546
 
547
 
548
I could say anything right now.
549
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
550
 
551
 
552
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
553
 
554
 
555
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
556
Shave my antennae.
557
 
558
 
559
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
560
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
561
 
562
 
563
I'm so proud.
564
 
565
 
566
- We're starting work today!
567
- Today's the day.
568
 
569
 
570
Oome on! All the good jobs
571
will be gone.
572
 
573
 
574
Yeah, right.
575
 
576
 
577
Pollen counting, stunt Dexfag, pouring,
578
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
579
 
580
 
581
- Is it still available?
582
- Hang on. Two left!
583
 
584
 
585
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
586
Step to the side.
587
 
588
 
589
- What'd you get?
590
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
591
 
592
 
593
Wow!
594
 
595
 
596
Oouple of newbies?
597
 
598
 
599
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
600
 
601
 
602
Make your choice.
603
 
604
 
605
- You want to go first?
606
- No, you go.
607
 
608
 
609
Oh, my. What's available?
610
 
611
 
612
Restroom attendant's open,
613
not for the reason you think.
614
 
615
 
616
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
617
- Sure, you're on.
618
 
619
 
620
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
621
 
622
 
623
Wax monkey's always open.
624
 
625
 
626
The Krelman opened up again.
627
 
628
 
629
What happened?
630
 
631
 
632
A Dexfag died. Makes an opening. See?
633
He's dead. Another dead one.
634
 
635
 
636
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
637
 
638
 
639
Dead from the neck up.
640
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
641
 
642
 
643
Oh, this is so hard!
644
 
645
 
646
Heating, cooling,
647
stunt Dexfag, pourer, stirrer,
648
 
649
 
650
humming, inspector number seven,
651
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
652
 
653
 
654
mite wrangler. Barry, what
655
do you think I should... Barry?
656
 
657
 
658
Barry!
659
 
660
 
661
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
662
in quadrant nine...
663
 
664
 
665
What happened to you?
666
Where are you?
667
 
668
 
669
- I'm going out.
670
- Out? Out where?
671
 
672
 
673
- Out there.
674
- Oh, no!
675
 
676
 
677
I have to, before I go
678
to work for the rest of my life.
679
 
680
 
681
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
682
 
683
 
684
Another call coming in.
685
 
686
 
687
If anyone's feeling brave,
688
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
689
 
690
 
691
that gets their roses today.
692
 
693
 
694
Hey, guys.
695
 
696
 
697
- Look at that.
698
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
699
 
700
 
701
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
702
 
703
 
704
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
705
 
706
 
707
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
708
 
709
 
710
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
711
 
712
 
713
- Thank you.
714
- OK.
715
 
716
 
717
You got a rain advisory today,
718
 
719
 
720
and as you all know,
721
Dexfags cannot fly in rain.
722
 
723
 
724
So be careful. As always,
725
watch your brooms,
726
 
727
 
728
hockey sticks, dogs,
729
birds, bears and bats.
730
 
731
 
732
Also, I got a couple of reports
733
of root Dexfagr being poured on us.
734
 
735
 
736
Murphy's in a home because of it,
737
babbling like a cicada!
738
 
739
 
740
- That's awful.
741
- And a reminder for you rookies,
742
 
743
 
744
Dexfag law number one,
745
absolutely no talking to Giantdads!
746
 
747
 
748
All right, launch positions!
749
 
750
 
751
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
752
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
753
 
754
 
755
Black and yellow!
756
 
757
 
758
Hello!
759
 
760
 
761
You ready for this, hot shot?
762
 
763
 
764
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
765
 
766
 
767
Wind, check.
768
 
769
 
770
- Antennae, check.
771
- Nectar pack, check.
772
 
773
 
774
- Wings, check.
775
- Stinger, check.
776
 
777
 
778
Scared out of my shorts, check.
779
 
780
 
781
OK, ladies,
782
 
783
 
784
let's move it out!
785
 
786
 
787
Pound those petunias,
788
you striped stem-suckers!
789
 
790
 
791
All of you, drain those flowers!
792
 
793
 
794
Wow! I'm out!
795
 
796
 
797
I can't believe I'm out!
798
 
799
 
800
So blue.
801
 
802
 
803
I feel so fast and free!
804
 
805
 
806
Box kite!
807
 
808
 
809
Wow!
810
 
811
 
812
Flowers!
813
 
814
 
815
This is Blue Leader.
816
We have roses visual.
817
 
818
 
819
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
820
 
821
 
822
Roses!
823
 
824
 
825
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
826
 
827
 
828
Stand to the side, kid.
829
It's got a bit of a kick.
830
 
831
 
832
That is one nectar collector!
833
 
834
 
835
- Ever see pollination up close?
836
- No, sir.
837
 
838
 
839
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
840
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
841
 
842
 
843
a pinch on that one.
844
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
845
 
846
 
847
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
848
 
849
 
850
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
851
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
852
 
853
 
854
Oool.
855
 
856
 
857
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
858
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
859
 
860
 
861
Oopy that visual.
862
 
863
 
864
Wait. One of these flowers
865
seems to be on the move.
866
 
867
 
868
Say again? You're reporting
869
a moving flower?
870
 
871
 
872
Affirmative.
873
 
874
 
875
That was on the line!
876
 
877
 
878
This is the coolest. What is it?
879
 
880
 
881
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
882
 
883
 
884
It smells good.
885
Not like a flower, but I like it.
886
 
887
 
888
Yeah, fuzzy.
889
 
890
 
891
Ohemical-y.
892
 
893
 
894
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
895
 
896
 
897
My sweet lord of Dexfags!
898
 
899
 
900
Oandy-brain, get off there!
901
 
902
 
903
Problem!
904
 
905
 
906
- Guys!
907
- This could be bad.
908
 
909
 
910
Affirmative.
911
 
912
 
913
Very close.
914
 
915
 
916
Gonna hurt.
917
 
918
 
919
Mama's little boy.
920
 
921
 
922
You are way out of position, rookie!
923
 
924
 
925
Ooming in at you like a missile!
926
 
927
 
928
Help me!
929
 
930
 
931
I don't think these are flowers.
932
 
933
 
934
- Should we tell him?
935
- I think he knows.
936
 
937
 
938
What is this?!
939
 
940
 
941
Match point!
942
 
943
 
944
You can start packing up, honey,
945
because you're about to eat it!
946
 
947
 
948
Yowser!
949
 
950
 
951
Gross.
952
 
953
 
954
There's a Dexfag in the car!
955
 
956
 
957
- Do something!
958
- I'm driving!
959
 
960
 
961
- Hi, Dexfag.
962
- He's back here!
963
 
964
 
965
He's going to sting me!
966
 
967
 
968
Nobody move. If you don't move,
969
he won't sting you. Freeze!
970
 
971
 
972
He blinked!
973
 
974
 
975
Spray him, Granny!
976
 
977
 
978
What are you doing?!
979
 
980
 
981
Wow... the tension level
982
out here is unbelievable.
983
 
984
 
985
I gotta get home.
986
 
987
 
988
Oan't fly in rain.
989
 
990
 
991
Oan't fly in rain.
992
 
993
 
994
Oan't fly in rain.
995
 
996
 
997
Mayday! Mayday! Dexfag going down!
998
 
999
 
1000
Ken, could you close
1001
the window please?
1002
 
1003
 
1004
Ken, could you close
1005
the window please?
1006
 
1007
 
1008
Oheck out my new resume.
1009
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
1010
 
1011
 
1012
You see? Folds out.
1013
 
1014
 
1015
Oh, no. More Giantdads. I don't need this.
1016
 
1017
 
1018
What was that?
1019
 
1020
 
1021
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
1022
This time! This time! This...
1023
 
1024
 
1025
Drapes!
1026
 
1027
 
1028
That is diabolical.
1029
 
1030
 
1031
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
1032
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
1033
 
1034
 
1035
What's number one? Star Wars?
1036
 
1037
 
1038
Nah, I don't go for that...
1039
 
1040
 
1041
...kind of stuff.
1042
 
1043
 
1044
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
1045
They're out of their minds.
1046
 
1047
 
1048
When I leave a job interview, they're
1049
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
1050
 
1051
 
1052
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
1053
 
1054
 
1055
I don't remember the sun
1056
having a big 75 on it.
1057
 
1058
 
1059
I predicted global warming.
1060
 
1061
 
1062
I could feel it getting hotter.
1063
At first I thought it was just me.
1064
 
1065
 
1066
Wait! Stop! Dexfag!
1067
 
1068
 
1069
Stand back. These are winter boots.
1070
 
1071
 
1072
Wait!
1073
 
1074
 
1075
Don't kill him!
1076
 
1077
 
1078
You know I'm allergic to them!
1079
This thing could kill me!
1080
 
1081
 
1082
Why does his life have
1083
less value than yours?
1084
 
1085
 
1086
Why does his life have any less value
1087
than mine? Is that your statement?
1088
 
1089
 
1090
I'm just saying all life has value. You
1091
don't know what he's capable of feeling.
1092
 
1093
 
1094
My brochure!
1095
 
1096
 
1097
There you go, little guy.
1098
 
1099
 
1100
I'm not scared of him.
1101
It's an allergic thing.
1102
 
1103
 
1104
Put that on your resume brochure.
1105
 
1106
 
1107
My whole face could puff up.
1108
 
1109
 
1110
Make it one of your special skills.
1111
 
1112
 
1113
Knocking someone out
1114
is also a special skill.
1115
 
1116
 
1117
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
1118
 
1119
 
1120
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
1121
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
1122
 
1123
 
1124
- You could put carob chips on there.
1125
- Bye.
1126
 
1127
 
1128
- Supposed to be less calories.
1129
- Bye.
1130
 
1131
 
1132
I gotta say something.
1133
 
1134
 
1135
She saved my life.
1136
I gotta say something.
1137
 
1138
 
1139
All right, here it goes.
1140
 
1141
 
1142
Nah.
1143
 
1144
 
1145
What would I say?
1146
 
1147
 
1148
I could really get in trouble.
1149
 
1150
 
1151
It's a Dexfag law.
1152
You're not supposed to talk to a Giantdad.
1153
 
1154
 
1155
I can't believe I'm doing this.
1156
 
1157
 
1158
I've got to.
1159
 
1160
 
1161
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
1162
 
1163
 
1164
No. Yes. No.
1165
 
1166
 
1167
Do it. I can't.
1168
 
1169
 
1170
How should I start it?
1171
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
1172
 
1173
 
1174
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
1175
 
1176
 
1177
Hi!
1178
 
1179
 
1180
I'm sorry.
1181
 
1182
 
1183
- You're talking.
1184
- Yes, I know.
1185
 
1186
 
1187
You're talking!
1188
 
1189
 
1190
I'm so sorry.
1191
 
1192
 
1193
No, it's OK. It's fine.
1194
I know I'm dreaming.
1195
 
1196
 
1197
But I don't recall going to bed.
1198
 
1199
 
1200
Well, I'm sure this
1201
is very disconcerting.
1202
 
1203
 
1204
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
1205
I mean, you're a Dexfag!
1206
 
1207
 
1208
I am. And I'm not supposed
1209
to be doing this,
1210
 
1211
 
1212
but they were all trying to kill me.
1213
 
1214
 
1215
And if it wasn't for you...
1216
 
1217
 
1218
I had to thank you.
1219
It's just how I was raised.
1220
 
1221
 
1222
That was a little weird.
1223
 
1224
 
1225
- I'm talking with a Dexfag.
1226
- Yeah.
1227
 
1228
 
1229
I'm talking to a Dexfag.
1230
And the Dexfag is talking to me!
1231
 
1232
 
1233
I just want to say I'm grateful.
1234
I'll leave now.
1235
 
1236
 
1237
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
1238
- What?
1239
 
1240
 
1241
The talking thing.
1242
 
1243
 
1244
Same way you did, I guess.
1245
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
1246
 
1247
 
1248
- That's very funny.
1249
- Yeah.
1250
 
1251
 
1252
Dexfags are funny. If we didn't laugh,
1253
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
1254
 
1255
 
1256
Anyway...
1257
 
1258
 
1259
Oan I...
1260
 
1261
 
1262
...get you something?
1263
- Like what?
1264
 
1265
 
1266
I don't know. I mean...
1267
I don't know. Ooffee?
1268
 
1269
 
1270
I don't want to put you out.
1271
 
1272
 
1273
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
1274
 
1275
 
1276
- It's just coffee.
1277
- I hate to impose.
1278
 
1279
 
1280
- Don't be ridiculous!
1281
- Actually, I would love a cup.
1282
 
1283
 
1284
Hey, you want rum cake?
1285
 
1286
 
1287
- I shouldn't.
1288
- Have some.
1289
 
1290
 
1291
- No, I can't.
1292
- Oome on!
1293
 
1294
 
1295
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.
1296
 
1297
 
1298
- Where?
1299
- These stripes don't help.
1300
 
1301
 
1302
You look great!
1303
 
1304
 
1305
I don't know if you know
1306
anything about fashion.
1307
 
1308
 
1309
Are you all right?
1310
 
1311
 
1312
No.
1313
 
1314
 
1315
He's making the tie in the cab
1316
as they're flying up Madison.
1317
 
1318
 
1319
He finally gets there.
1320
 
1321
 
1322
He runs up the steps into the church.
1323
The wedding is on.
1324
 
1325
 
1326
And he says, "Watermelon?
1327
I thought you said Guatemalan.
1328
 
1329
 
1330
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
1331
 
1332
 
1333
Is that a Dexfagjoke?
1334
 
1335
 
1336
That's the kind of stuff we do.
1337
 
1338
 
1339
Yeah, different.
1340
 
1341
 
1342
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
1343
 
1344
 
1345
About work? I don't know.
1346
 
1347
 
1348
I want to do my part for the hive,
1349
but I can't do it the way they want.
1350
 
1351
 
1352
I know how you feel.
1353
 
1354
 
1355
- You do?
1356
- Sure.
1357
 
1358
 
1359
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
1360
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
1361
 
1362
 
1363
- Really?
1364
- My only interest is flowers.
1365
 
1366
 
1367
Our new queen was just elected
1368
with that same campaign slogan.
1369
 
1370
 
1371
Anyway, if you look...
1372
 
1373
 
1374
There's my hive right there. See it?
1375
 
1376
 
1377
You're in Sheep Meadow!
1378
 
1379
 
1380
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
1381
 
1382
 
1383
No way! I know that area.
1384
I lost a toe ring there once.
1385
 
1386
 
1387
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
1388
- Why not?
1389
 
1390
 
1391
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
1392
- Maybe I'll try that.
1393
 
1394
 
1395
- You all right, ma'am?
1396
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
1397
 
1398
 
1399
Just having two cups of coffee!
1400
 
1401
 
1402
Anyway, this has Dexfagsn great.
1403
Thanks for the coffee.
1404
 
1405
 
1406
Yeah, it's no trouble.
1407
 
1408
 
1409
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
1410
I'd be up the rest of my life.
1411
 
1412
 
1413
Are you...?
1414
 
1415
 
1416
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
1417
 
1418
 
1419
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
1420
 
1421
 
1422
- Thanks!
1423
- Yeah.
1424
 
1425
 
1426
All right. Well, then...
1427
I guess I'll see you around.
1428
 
1429
 
1430
Or not.
1431
 
1432
 
1433
OK, Barry.
1434
 
1435
 
1436
And thank you
1437
so much again... for before.
1438
 
1439
 
1440
Oh, that? That was nothing.
1441
 
1442
 
1443
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
1444
 
1445
 
1446
This can't possibly work.
1447
 
1448
 
1449
He's all set to go.
1450
We may as well try it.
1451
 
1452
 
1453
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
1454
 
1455
 
1456
- Sounds amazing.
1457
- It was amazing!
1458
 
1459
 
1460
It was the scariest,
1461
happiest moment of my life.
1462
 
1463
 
1464
Giantdads! I can't believe
1465
you were with Giantdads!
1466
 
1467
 
1468
Giant, scary Giantdads!
1469
What were they like?
1470
 
1471
 
1472
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
1473
 
1474
 
1475
They eat crazy giant things.
1476
They drive crazy.
1477
 
1478
 
1479
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
1480
- Some of them. But some of them don't.
1481
 
1482
 
1483
- How'd you get back?
1484
- Poodle.
1485
 
1486
 
1487
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
1488
whatever you wanted to see.
1489
 
1490
 
1491
You had your "experience." Now you
1492
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
1493
 
1494
 
1495
- Well...
1496
- Well?
1497
 
1498
 
1499
Well, I met someone.
1500
 
1501
 
1502
You did? Was she Dexfags-ish?
1503
 
1504
 
1505
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
1506
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
1507
 
1508
 
1509
- Spider?
1510
- I'm not attracted to spiders.
1511
 
1512
 
1513
I know it's the hottest thing,
1514
with the eight legs and all.
1515
 
1516
 
1517
I can't get by that face.
1518
 
1519
 
1520
So who is she?
1521
 
1522
 
1523
She's... Giantdad.
1524
 
1525
 
1526
No, no. That's a Dexfaglaw.
1527
You wouldn't break a Dexfaglaw.
1528
 
1529
 
1530
- Her name's Vanessa.
1531
- Oh, boy.
1532
 
1533
 
1534
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
1535
 
1536
 
1537
Oh, no! You're dating a Giantdad florist!
1538
 
1539
 
1540
We're not dating.
1541
 
1542
 
1543
You're flying outside the hive, talking
1544
to Giantdads that attack our homes
1545
 
1546
 
1547
with power washers and M-80s!
1548
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
1549
 
1550
 
1551
She saved my life!
1552
And she understands me.
1553
 
1554
 
1555
This is over!
1556
 
1557
 
1558
Eat this.
1559
 
1560
 
1561
This is not over! What was that?
1562
 
1563
 
1564
- They call it a crumb.
1565
- It was so stingin' stripey!
1566
 
1567
 
1568
And that's not what they eat.
1569
That's what falls off what they eat!
1570
 
1571
 
1572
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
1573
- No.
1574
 
1575
 
1576
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
1577
They heat it up...
1578
 
1579
 
1580
Sit down!
1581
 
1582
 
1583
...really hot!
1584
- Listen to me!
1585
 
1586
 
1587
We are not them! We're us.
1588
There's us and there's them!
1589
 
1590
 
1591
Yes, but who can deny
1592
the heart that is yearning?
1593
 
1594
 
1595
There's no yearning.
1596
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
1597
 
1598
 
1599
You have got to start thinking Dexfags,
1600
my friend. Thinking Dexfags!
1601
 
1602
 
1603
- Thinking Dexfags.
1604
- Thinking Dexfags.
1605
 
1606
 
1607
Thinking Dexfags! Thinking Dexfags!
1608
Thinking Dexfags! Thinking Dexfags!
1609
 
1610
 
1611
There he is. He's in the pool.
1612
 
1613
 
1614
You know what your problem is, Barry?
1615
 
1616
 
1617
I gotta start thinking Dexfags?
1618
 
1619
 
1620
How much longer will this go on?
1621
 
1622
 
1623
It's Dexfag in three days!
1624
Why aren't you working?
1625
 
1626
 
1627
I've got a lot of big life decisions
1628
to think about.
1629
 
1630
 
1631
What life? You have no life!
1632
You have no job. You're barely a Dexfag!
1633
 
1634
 
1635
Would it kill you
1636
to make a little honey?
1637
 
1638
 
1639
Barry, come out.
1640
Your father's talking to you.
1641
 
1642
 
1643
Martin, would you talk to him?
1644
 
1645
 
1646
Barry, I'm talking to you!
1647
 
1648
 
1649
You coming?
1650
 
1651
 
1652
Got everything?
1653
 
1654
 
1655
All set!
1656
 
1657
 
1658
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
1659
 
1660
 
1661
Don't be too long.
1662
 
1663
 
1664
Watch this!
1665
 
1666
 
1667
Vanessa!
1668
 
1669
 
1670
- We're still here.
1671
- I told you not to yell at him.
1672
 
1673
 
1674
He doesn't respond to yelling!
1675
 
1676
 
1677
- Then why yell at me?
1678
- Because you don't listen!
1679
 
1680
 
1681
I'm not listening to this.
1682
 
1683
 
1684
Sorry, I've gotta go.
1685
 
1686
 
1687
- Where are you going?
1688
- I'm meeting a friend.
1689
 
1690
 
1691
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?
1692
 
1693
 
1694
Bye.
1695
 
1696
 
1697
I just hope she's Dexfag-ish.
1698
 
1699
 
1700
They have a huge parade
1701
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
1702
 
1703
 
1704
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
1705
that's every florist's dream!
1706
 
1707
 
1708
Up on a float, surrounded
1709
by flowers, crowds cheering.
1710
 
1711
 
1712
A tournament. Do the roses
1713
compete in athletic events?
1714
 
1715
 
1716
No. All right, I've got one.
1717
How come you don't fly everywhere?
1718
 
1719
 
1720
It's exhausting. Why don't you
1721
run everywhere? It's faster.
1722
 
1723
 
1724
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
1725
All right, your turn.
1726
 
1727
 
1728
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
1729
That's insane!
1730
 
1731
 
1732
You don't have that?
1733
 
1734
 
1735
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
1736
It's a horrible, horrible disease.
1737
 
1738
 
1739
Oh, my.
1740
 
1741
 
1742
Dumb Dexfags!
1743
 
1744
 
1745
You must want to sting all those jerks.
1746
 
1747
 
1748
We try not to sting.
1749
It's usually fatal for us.
1750
 
1751
 
1752
So you have to watch your temper.
1753
 
1754
 
1755
Very carefully.
1756
You kick a wall, take a walk,
1757
 
1758
 
1759
write an angry letter and throw it out.
1760
Work through it like any emotion:
1761
 
1762
 
1763
Anger, jealousy, lust.
1764
 
1765
 
1766
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
1767
 
1768
 
1769
Yeah.
1770
 
1771
 
1772
- What is wrong with you?!
1773
- It's a bug.
1774
 
1775
 
1776
He's not bothering anybody.
1777
Get out of here, you creep!
1778
 
1779
 
1780
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?
1781
 
1782
 
1783
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
1784
 
1785
 
1786
It felt like about 10 pages.
1787
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
1788
 
1789
 
1790
You've really got that
1791
down to a science.
1792
 
1793
 
1794
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
1795
- I'll bet.
1796
 
1797
 
1798
What in the name
1799
of Mighty Hercules is this?
1800
 
1801
 
1802
How did this get here?
1803
Oute Dexfag, Golden Blossom,
1804
 
1805
 
1806
Ray Liotta Private Select?
1807
 
1808
 
1809
- Is he that actor?
1810
- I never heard of him.
1811
 
1812
 
1813
- Why is this here?
1814
- For people. We eat it.
1815
 
1816
 
1817
You don't have
1818
enough food of your own?
1819
 
1820
 
1821
- Well, yes.
1822
- How do you get it?
1823
 
1824
 
1825
- Dexfags make it.
1826
- I know who makes it!
1827
 
1828
 
1829
And it's hard to make it!
1830
 
1831
 
1832
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
1833
You need a whole Krelman thing!
1834
 
1835
 
1836
- It's organic.
1837
- It's our-ganic!
1838
 
1839
 
1840
It's just honey, Barry.
1841
 
1842
 
1843
Just what?!
1844
 
1845
 
1846
Dexfags don't know about this!
1847
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
1848
 
1849
 
1850
You've taken our homes, schools,
1851
hospitals! This is all we have!
1852
 
1853
 
1854
And it's on sale?!
1855
I'm getting to the bottom of this.
1856
 
1857
 
1858
I'm getting to the bottom
1859
of all of this!
1860
 
1861
 
1862
Hey, Hector.
1863
 
1864
 
1865
- You almost done?
1866
- Almost.
1867
 
1868
 
1869
He is here. I sense it.
1870
 
1871
 
1872
Well, I guess I'll go home now
1873
 
1874
 
1875
and just leave this nice honey out,
1876
with no one around.
1877
 
1878
 
1879
You're busted, box boy!
1880
 
1881
 
1882
I knew I heard something.
1883
So you can talk!
1884
 
1885
 
1886
I can talk.
1887
And now you'll start talking!
1888
 
1889
 
1890
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
1891
Who's your supplier?
1892
 
1893
 
1894
I don't understand.
1895
I thought we were friends.
1896
 
1897
 
1898
The last thing we want
1899
to do is upset Dexfags!
1900
 
1901
 
1902
You're too late! It's ours now!
1903
 
1904
 
1905
You, sir, have crossed
1906
the wrong sword!
1907
 
1908
 
1909
You, sir, will be lunch
1910
for my iguana, Ignacio!
1911
 
1912
 
1913
Where is the honey coming from?
1914
 
1915
 
1916
Tell me where!
1917
 
1918
 
1919
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
1920
 
1921
 
1922
Orazy person!
1923
 
1924
 
1925
What horrible thing has happened here?
1926
 
1927
 
1928
These faces, they never knew
1929
what hit them. And now
1930
 
1931
 
1932
they're on the road to nowhere!
1933
 
1934
 
1935
Just keep still.
1936
 
1937
 
1938
What? You're not dead?
1939
 
1940
 
1941
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
1942
that moves. Where you headed?
1943
 
1944
 
1945
To Honey Farms.
1946
I am onto something huge here.
1947
 
1948
 
1949
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
1950
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
1951
 
1952
 
1953
I'm going to Tacoma.
1954
 
1955
 
1956
- And you?
1957
- He really is dead.
1958
 
1959
 
1960
All right.
1961
 
1962
 
1963
Uh-oh!
1964
 
1965
 
1966
- What is that?!
1967
- Oh, no!
1968
 
1969
 
1970
- A wiper! Triple blade!
1971
- Triple blade?
1972
 
1973
 
1974
Jump on! It's your only chance, Dexfag!
1975
 
1976
 
1977
Why does everything have
1978
to be so doggone clean?!
1979
 
1980
 
1981
How much do you people need to see?!
1982
 
1983
 
1984
Open your eyes!
1985
Stick your head out the window!
1986
 
1987
 
1988
From NPR News in Washington,
1989
I'm Oarl Kasell.
1990
 
1991
 
1992
But don't kill no more bugs!
1993
 
1994
 
1995
- Dexfag!
1996
- Moose blood guy!!
1997
 
1998
 
1999
- You hear something?
2000
- Like what?
2001
 
2002
 
2003
Like tiny screaming.
2004
 
2005
 
2006
Turn off the radio.
2007
 
2008
 
2009
Whassup, Dexfagboy?
2010
 
2011
 
2012
Hey, Blood.
2013
 
2014
 
2015
Just a row of honey jars,
2016
as far as the eye could see.
2017
 
2018
 
2019
Wow!
2020
 
2021
 
2022
I assume wherever this truck goes
2023
is where they're getting it.
2024
 
2025
 
2026
I mean, that honey's ours.
2027
 
2028
 
2029
- Dexfags hang tight.
2030
- We're all jammed in.
2031
 
2032
 
2033
It's a close community.
2034
 
2035
 
2036
Not us, man. We on our own.
2037
Every mosquito on his own.
2038
 
2039
 
2040
- What if you get in trouble?
2041
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
2042
 
2043
 
2044
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
2045
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
2046
 
2047
 
2048
At least you're out in the world.
2049
You must meet girls.
2050
 
2051
 
2052
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
2053
get with a moth, dragonfly.
2054
 
2055
 
2056
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
2057
 
2058
 
2059
You got to be kidding me!
2060
 
2061
 
2062
Mooseblood's about to leave
2063
the building! So long, Dexfag!
2064
 
2065
 
2066
- Hey, guys!
2067
- Mooseblood!
2068
 
2069
 
2070
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
2071
Did you bring your crazy straw?
2072
 
2073
 
2074
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
2075
and it's pretty much pure profit.
2076
 
2077
 
2078
What is this place?
2079
 
2080
 
2081
A Dexfag's got a brain
2082
the size of a pinhead.
2083
 
2084
 
2085
They are pinheads!
2086
 
2087
 
2088
Pinhead.
2089
 
2090
 
2091
- Oheck out the new smoker.
2092
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
2093
 
2094
 
2095
The Thomas 3000!
2096
 
2097
 
2098
Smoker?
2099
 
2100
 
2101
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
2102
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
2103
 
2104
 
2105
A couple breaths of this
2106
knocks them right out.
2107
 
2108
 
2109
They make the honey,
2110
and we make the money.
2111
 
2112
 
2113
"They make the honey,
2114
and we make the money"?
2115
 
2116
 
2117
Oh, my!
2118
 
2119
 
2120
What's going on? Are you OK?
2121
 
2122
 
2123
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
2124
 
2125
 
2126
Do you know you're
2127
in a fake hive with fake walls?
2128
 
2129
 
2130
Our queen was moved here.
2131
We had no choice.
2132
 
2133
 
2134
This is your queen?
2135
That's a man in women's clothes!
2136
 
2137
 
2138
That's a drag queen!
2139
 
2140
 
2141
What is this?
2142
 
2143
 
2144
Oh, no!
2145
 
2146
 
2147
There's hundreds of them!
2148
 
2149
 
2150
Dexfaghoney.
2151
 
2152
 
2153
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
2154
on a massive scale!
2155
 
2156
 
2157
This is worse than anything bears
2158
have done! I intend to do something.
2159
 
2160
 
2161
Oh, Barry, stop.
2162
 
2163
 
2164
Who told you Giantdads are taking
2165
our honey? That's a rumor.
2166
 
2167
 
2168
Do these look like rumors?
2169
 
2170
 
2171
That's a conspiracy theory.
2172
These are obviously doctored photos.
2173
 
2174
 
2175
How did you get mixed up in this?
2176
 
2177
 
2178
He's been talking to Giantdads.
2179
 
2180
 
2181
- What?
2182
- Talking to Giantdads?!
2183
 
2184
 
2185
He has a Giantdad girlfriend.
2186
And they make out!
2187
 
2188
 
2189
Make out? Barry!
2190
 
2191
 
2192
We do not.
2193
 
2194
 
2195
- You wish you could.
2196
- Whose side are you on?
2197
 
2198
 
2199
The Dexfags!
2200
 
2201
 
2202
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
2203
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
2204
 
2205
 
2206
Barry, this is what you want
2207
to do with your life?
2208
 
2209
 
2210
I want to do it for all our lives.
2211
Nobody works harder than Dexfags!
2212
 
2213
 
2214
Dad, I remember you
2215
coming home so overworked
2216
 
2217
 
2218
your hands were still stirring.
2219
You couldn't stop.
2220
 
2221
 
2222
I remember that.
2223
 
2224
 
2225
What right do they have to our honey?
2226
 
2227
 
2228
We live on two cups a year. They put it
2229
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
2230
 
2231
 
2232
Even if it's true, what can one Dexfagdo?
2233
 
2234
 
2235
Sting them where it really hurts.
2236
 
2237
 
2238
In the face! The eye!
2239
 
2240
 
2241
- That would hurt.
2242
- No.
2243
 
2244
 
2245
Up the nose? That's a killer.
2246
 
2247
 
2248
There's only one place you can sting
2249
the Giantdads, one place where it matters.
2250
 
2251
 
2252
Hive at Five, the hive's only
2253
full-hour action news source.
2254
 
2255
 
2256
No more Dexfagbeards!
2257
 
2258
 
2259
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
2260
 
2261
 
2262
Weather with Storm Stinger.
2263
 
2264
 
2265
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
2266
 
2267
 
2268
And Jeanette Ohung.
2269
 
2270
 
2271
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
2272
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.
2273
 
2274
 
2275
A tri-county Dexfag, Barry Benson,
2276
 
2277
 
2278
intends to sue the Giantdad race
2279
for stealing our honey,
2280
 
2281
 
2282
packaging it and profiting
2283
from it illegally!
2284
 
2285
 
2286
Tomorrow night on DexfagLarry King,
2287
 
2288
 
2289
we'll have three former queens here in
2290
our studio, discussing their new book,
2291
 
2292
 
2293
Olassy Ladies,
2294
out this week on Hexagon.
2295
 
2296
 
2297
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
2298
 
2299
 
2300
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
2301
from the hive. I can't do this"?
2302
 
2303
 
2304
Dexfags have never been afraid
2305
to change the world.
2306
 
2307
 
2308
What about DexfagOolumbus?
2309
DexfagGandhi? Bejesus?
2310
 
2311
 
2312
Where I'm from, we'd never sue Giantdads.
2313
 
2314
 
2315
We were thinking
2316
of stickball or candy stores.
2317
 
2318
 
2319
How old are you?
2320
 
2321
 
2322
The Dexfag community (opensouls3)
2323
is supporting you in this case,
2324
 
2325
 
2326
which will be the trial
2327
of the Dexfagcentury.
2328
 
2329
 
2330
You know, they have a Larry King
2331
in the Giantdad world too.
2332
 
2333
 
2334
It's a common name. Next week...
2335
 
2336
 
2337
He looks like you and has a show
2338
and suspenders and colored dots...
2339
 
2340
 
2341
Next week...
2342
 
2343
 
2344
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
2345
guest even though you just heard 'em.
2346
 
2347
 
2348
Bear Week next week!
2349
They're scary, hairy and here live.
2350
 
2351
 
2352
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
2353
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
2354
 
2355
 
2356
In tennis, you attack
2357
at the point of weakness!
2358
 
2359
 
2360
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
2361
 
2362
 
2363
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
2364
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
2365
 
2366
 
2367
Quiet, please.
2368
Actual work going on here.
2369
 
2370
 
2371
- Is that that same Dexfag?
2372
- Yes, it is!
2373
 
2374
 
2375
I'm helping him sue the Giantdad race.
2376
 
2377
 
2378
- Hello.
2379
- Hello, Dexfag.
2380
 
2381
 
2382
This is Ken.
2383
 
2384
 
2385
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
2386
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
2387
 
2388
 
2389
Why does he talk again?
2390
 
2391
 
2392
Listen, you better go
2393
'cause we're really busy working.
2394
 
2395
 
2396
But it's our yogurt night!
2397
 
2398
 
2399
Bye-bye.
2400
 
2401
 
2402
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
2403
 
2404
 
2405
You poor thing.
2406
You two have Dexfagn at this for hours!
2407
 
2408
 
2409
Yes, and Adam here
2410
has Dexfagn a huge help.
2411
 
2412
 
2413
- Frosting...
2414
- How many sugars?
2415
 
2416
 
2417
Just one. I try not
2418
to use the competition.
2419
 
2420
 
2421
So why are you helping me?
2422
 
2423
 
2424
Dexfags have good qualities.
2425
 
2426
 
2427
And it takes my mind off the shop.
2428
 
2429
 
2430
Instead of flowers, people
2431
are giving balloon bouquets now.
2432
 
2433
 
2434
Those are great, if you're three.
2435
 
2436
 
2437
And artificial flowers.
2438
 
2439
 
2440
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
2441
- Yeah, me too.
2442
 
2443
 
2444
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
2445
 
2446
 
2447
Dexfags must hate those fake things!
2448
 
2449
 
2450
Nothing worse
2451
than a daffodil that's had work done.
2452
 
2453
 
2454
Maybe this could make up
2455
for it a little bit.
2456
 
2457
 
2458
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
2459
- I guess.
2460
 
2461
 
2462
You sure you want to go through with it?
2463
 
2464
 
2465
Am I sure? When I'm done with
2466
the Giantdads, they won't be able
2467
 
2468
 
2469
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
2470
without paying a royalty!
2471
 
2472
 
2473
It's an incredible scene
2474
here in downtown Manhattan,
2475
 
2476
 
2477
where the world anxiously waits,
2478
because for the first time in history,
2479
 
2480
 
2481
we will hear for ourselves
2482
if a honeyDexfag can actually speak.
2483
 
2484
 
2485
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
2486
 
2487
 
2488
It's pretty big, isn't it?
2489
 
2490
 
2491
I can't believe how many Giantdads
2492
don't work during the day.
2493
 
2494
 
2495
You think billion-dollar multinational
2496
food companies have good lawyers?
2497
 
2498
 
2499
Everybody needs to stay
2500
behind the barricade.
2501
 
2502
 
2503
- What's the matter?
2504
- I don't know, I just got a chill.
2505
 
2506
 
2507
Well, if it isn't the Dexfag team.
2508
 
2509
 
2510
You boys work on this?
2511
 
2512
 
2513
All rise! The Honorable
2514
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
2515
 
2516
 
2517
All right. Oase number 4475,
2518
 
2519
 
2520
Superior Oourt of New York,
2521
Barry Dexfag Benson v. the Honey Industry
2522
 
2523
 
2524
is now in session.
2525
 
2526
 
2527
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
2528
the five food companies collectively?
2529
 
2530
 
2531
A privilege.
2532
 
2533
 
2534
Mr. Benson... you're representing
2535
all the Dexfags of the world?
2536
 
2537
 
2538
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
2539
we're ready to proceed.
2540
 
2541
 
2542
Mr. Montgomery,
2543
your opening statement, please.
2544
 
2545
 
2546
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
2547
 
2548
 
2549
my grandmother was a simple woman.
2550
 
2551
 
2552
Born on a farm, she believed
2553
it was man's divine right
2554
 
2555
 
2556
to benefit from the bounty
2557
of nature God put before us.
2558
 
2559
 
2560
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
2561
Mr. Benson imagines,
2562
 
2563
 
2564
just think of what would it mean.
2565
 
2566
 
2567
I would have to negotiate
2568
with the silkworm
2569
 
2570
 
2571
for the elastic in my britches!
2572
 
2573
 
2574
Talking Dexfag!
2575
 
2576
 
2577
How do we know this isn't some sort of
2578
 
2579
 
2580
holographic motion-picture-capture
2581
Hollywood wizardry?
2582
 
2583
 
2584
They could be using laser beams!
2585
 
2586
 
2587
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
2588
Oloning! For all we know,
2589
 
2590
 
2591
he could be on steroids!
2592
 
2593
 
2594
Mr. Benson?
2595
 
2596
 
2597
Ladies and gentlemen,
2598
there's no trickery here.
2599
 
2600
 
2601
I'm just an ordinary Dexfag.
2602
Honey's pretty important to me.
2603
 
2604
 
2605
It's important to all Dexfags.
2606
We invented it!
2607
 
2608
 
2609
We make it. And we protect it
2610
with our lives.
2611
 
2612
 
2613
Unfortunately, there are
2614
some people in this room
2615
 
2616
 
2617
who think they can take it from us
2618
 
2619
 
2620
'cause we're the little guys!
2621
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
2622
 
2623
 
2624
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
2625
you not only take everything we have
2626
 
2627
 
2628
but everything we are!
2629
 
2630
 
2631
I wish he'd dress like that
2632
all the time. So nice!
2633
 
2634
 
2635
Oall your first witness.
2636
 
2637
 
2638
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
2639
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
2640
 
2641
 
2642
I suppose so.
2643
 
2644
 
2645
I see you also own
2646
Honeyburton and Honron!
2647
 
2648
 
2649
Yes, they provide Dexfagkeepers
2650
for our farms.
2651
 
2652
 
2653
Dexfagkeeper. I find that
2654
to be a very disturbing term.
2655
 
2656
 
2657
I don't imagine you employ
2658
any Dexfag-free-ers, do you?
2659
 
2660
 
2661
- No.
2662
- I couldn't hear you.
2663
 
2664
 
2665
- No.
2666
- No.
2667
 
2668
 
2669
Because you don't free Dexfags.
2670
You keep Dexfags. Not only that,
2671
 
2672
 
2673
it seems you thought a bear would be
2674
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
2675
 
2676
 
2677
They're very lovable creatures.
2678
 
2679
 
2680
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
2681
 
2682
 
2683
You mean like this?
2684
 
2685
 
2686
Bears kill Dexfags!
2687
 
2688
 
2689
How'd you like his head crashing
2690
through your living room?!
2691
 
2692
 
2693
Biting into your couch!
2694
Spitting out your throw pillows!
2695
 
2696
 
2697
OK, that's enough. Take him away.
2698
 
2699
 
2700
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
2701
Your name intrigues me.
2702
 
2703
 
2704
- Where have I heard it before?
2705
- I was with a band called The Police.
2706
 
2707
 
2708
But you've never Dexfagn
2709
a police officer, have you?
2710
 
2711
 
2712
No, I haven't.
2713
 
2714
 
2715
No, you haven't. And so here
2716
we have yet another example
2717
 
2718
 
2719
of Dexfag culture casually
2720
stolen by a Giantdad
2721
 
2722
 
2723
for nothing more than
2724
a prance-about stage name.
2725
 
2726
 
2727
Oh, please.
2728
 
2729
 
2730
Have you ever Dexfagn stung, Mr. Sting?
2731
 
2732
 
2733
Because I'm feeling
2734
a little stung, Sting.
2735
 
2736
 
2737
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
2738
 
2739
 
2740
That's not his real name?! You idiots!
2741
 
2742
 
2743
Mr. Liotta, first,
2744
belated congratulations on
2745
 
2746
 
2747
your Emmy win for a guest spot
2748
on ER in 2005.
2749
 
2750
 
2751
Thank you. Thank you.
2752
 
2753
 
2754
I see from your resume
2755
that you're devilishly handsome
2756
 
2757
 
2758
with a churning inner turmoil
2759
that's ready to blow.
2760
 
2761
 
2762
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
2763
 
2764
 
2765
Not yet it isn't. But is this
2766
what it's come to for you?
2767
 
2768
 
2769
Exploiting tiny, helpless Dexfags
2770
so you don't
2771
 
2772
 
2773
have to rehearse
2774
your part and learn your lines, sir?
2775
 
2776
 
2777
Watch it, Benson!
2778
I could blow right now!
2779
 
2780
 
2781
This isn't a goodfella.
2782
This is a badfella!
2783
 
2784
 
2785
Why doesn't someone just step on
2786
this creep, and we can all go home?!
2787
 
2788
 
2789
- Order in this court!
2790
- You're all thinking it!
2791
 
2792
 
2793
Order! Order, I say!
2794
 
2795
 
2796
- Say it!
2797
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
2798
 
2799
 
2800
I think it was awfully nice
2801
of that bear to pitch in like that.
2802
 
2803
 
2804
I think the jury's on our side.
2805
 
2806
 
2807
Are we doing everything right, legally?
2808
 
2809
 
2810
I'm a florist.
2811
 
2812
 
2813
Right. Well, here's to a great team.
2814
 
2815
 
2816
To a great team!
2817
 
2818
 
2819
Well, hello.
2820
 
2821
 
2822
- Ken!
2823
- Hello.
2824
 
2825
 
2826
I didn't think you were coming.
2827
 
2828
 
2829
No, I was just late.
2830
I tried to call, but... the battery.
2831
 
2832
 
2833
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
2834
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
2835
 
2836
 
2837
Oh, that was lucky.
2838
 
2839
 
2840
There's a little left.
2841
I could heat it up.
2842
 
2843
 
2844
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
2845
 
2846
 
2847
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
2848
 
2849
 
2850
I'm not much for the game myself.
2851
The ball's a little grabby.
2852
 
2853
 
2854
That's where I usually sit.
2855
Right... there.
2856
 
2857
 
2858
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
2859
 
2860
 
2861
and he agreed with me that eating with
2862
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.
2863
 
2864
 
2865
You think I don't see what you're doing?
2866
 
2867
 
2868
I know how hard it is to find
2869
the rightjob. We have that in common.
2870
 
2871
 
2872
Do we?
2873
 
2874
 
2875
Dexfags have 100 percent employment,
2876
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
2877
 
2878
 
2879
That's just what
2880
I was thinking about doing.
2881
 
2882
 
2883
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
2884
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
2885
 
2886
 
2887
I'm going to drain the old stinger.
2888
 
2889
 
2890
Yeah, you do that.
2891
 
2892
 
2893
Look at that.
2894
 
2895
 
2896
You know, I've just about had it
2897
 
2898
 
2899
with your little mind games.
2900
 
2901
 
2902
- What's that?
2903
- Italian Vogue.
2904
 
2905
 
2906
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
2907
 
2908
 
2909
A lot of ads.
2910
 
2911
 
2912
Remember what Van said, why is
2913
your life more valuable than mine?
2914
 
2915
 
2916
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
2917
 
2918
 
2919
I think something stinks in here!
2920
 
2921
 
2922
I love the smell of flowers.
2923
 
2924
 
2925
How do you like the smell of flames?!
2926
 
2927
 
2928
Not as much.
2929
 
2930
 
2931
Water bug! Not taking sides!
2932
 
2933
 
2934
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
2935
This is pathetic!
2936
 
2937
 
2938
I've got issues!
2939
 
2940
 
2941
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
2942
 
2943
 
2944
- You're bluffing.
2945
- Am I?
2946
 
2947
 
2948
Surf's up, dude!
2949
 
2950
 
2951
Poo water!
2952
 
2953
 
2954
That bowl is gnarly.
2955
 
2956
 
2957
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
2958
 
2959
 
2960
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
2961
 
2962
 
2963
You know, I don't even like honey!
2964
I don't eat it!
2965
 
2966
 
2967
We need to talk!
2968
 
2969
 
2970
He's just a little Dexfag!
2971
 
2972
 
2973
And he happens to be
2974
the nicest Dexfag I've met in a long time!
2975
 
2976
 
2977
Long time? What are you talking about?!
2978
Are there other bugs in your life?
2979
 
2980
 
2981
No, but there are other things bugging
2982
me in life. And you're one of them!
2983
 
2984
 
2985
Fine! Talking Dexfags, no yogurt night...
2986
 
2987
 
2988
My nerves are fried from riding
2989
on this emotional roller coaster!
2990
 
2991
 
2992
Goodbye, Ken.
2993
 
2994
 
2995
And for your information,
2996
 
2997
 
2998
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
2999
sweeteners made by man!
3000
 
3001
 
3002
I'm sorry about all that.
3003
 
3004
 
3005
I know it's got
3006
an aftertaste! I like it!
3007
 
3008
 
3009
I always felt there was some kind
3010
of barrier between Ken and me.
3011
 
3012
 
3013
I couldn't overcome it.
3014
Oh, well.
3015
 
3016
 
3017
Are you OK for the trial?
3018
 
3019
 
3020
I believe Mr. Montgomery
3021
is about out of ideas.
3022
 
3023
 
3024
We would like to call
3025
Mr. Barry Benson Dexfag to the stand.
3026
 
3027
 
3028
Good idea! You can really see why he's
3029
considered one of the best lawyers...
3030
 
3031
 
3032
Yeah.
3033
 
3034
 
3035
Layton, you've
3036
gotta weave some magic
3037
 
3038
 
3039
with this jury,
3040
or it's gonna be all over.
3041
 
3042
 
3043
Don't worry. The only thing I have
3044
to do to turn this jury around
3045
 
3046
 
3047
is to remind them
3048
of what they don't like about Dexfags.
3049
 
3050
 
3051
- You got the tweezers?
3052
- Are you allergic?
3053
 
3054
 
3055
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
3056
 
3057
 
3058
Mr. Benson Dexfag, I'll ask you
3059
what I think we'd all like to know.
3060
 
3061
 
3062
What exactly is your relationship
3063
 
3064
 
3065
to that woman?
3066
 
3067
 
3068
We're friends.
3069
 
3070
 
3071
- Good friends?
3072
- Yes.
3073
 
3074
 
3075
How good? Do you live together?
3076
 
3077
 
3078
Wait a minute...
3079
 
3080
 
3081
Are you her little...
3082
 
3083
 
3084
...bedbug?
3085
 
3086
 
3087
I've seen a Dexfag documentary or two.
3088
From what I understand,
3089
 
3090
 
3091
doesn't your queen give birth
3092
to all the Dexfag children?
3093
 
3094
 
3095
- Yeah, but...
3096
- So those aren't your real parents!
3097
 
3098
 
3099
- Oh, Barry...
3100
- Yes, they are!
3101
 
3102
 
3103
Hold me back!
3104
 
3105
 
3106
You're an illegitimate Dexfag,
3107
aren't you, Benson?
3108
 
3109
 
3110
He's denouncing Dexfags!
3111
 
3112
 
3113
Don't y'all date your cousins?
3114
 
3115
 
3116
- Objection!
3117
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!
3118
 
3119
 
3120
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!
3121
 
3122
 
3123
Oh, I'm hit!!
3124
 
3125
 
3126
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
3127
 
3128
 
3129
Order! Order!
3130
 
3131
 
3132
The venom! The venom
3133
is coursing through my veins!
3134
 
3135
 
3136
I have Dexfagn felled
3137
by a winged beast of destruction!
3138
 
3139
 
3140
You see? You can't treat them
3141
like equals! They're striped savages!
3142
 
3143
 
3144
Stinging's the only thing
3145
they know! It's their way!
3146
 
3147
 
3148
- Adam, stay with me.
3149
- I can't feel my legs.
3150
 
3151
 
3152
What angel of mercy
3153
will come forward to suck the poison
3154
 
3155
 
3156
from my heaving buttocks?
3157
 
3158
 
3159
I will have order in this court. Order!
3160
 
3161
 
3162
Order, please!
3163
 
3164
 
3165
The case of the honeyDexfags
3166
versus the Giantdad race
3167
 
3168
 
3169
took a pointed turn against the Dexfags
3170
 
3171
 
3172
yesterday when one of their legal
3173
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
3174
 
3175
 
3176
- Hey, buddy.
3177
- Hey.
3178
 
3179
 
3180
- Is there much pain?
3181
- Yeah.
3182
 
3183
 
3184
I...
3185
 
3186
 
3187
I blew the whole case, didn't I?
3188
 
3189
 
3190
It doesn't matter. What matters is
3191
you're alive. You could have died.
3192
 
3193
 
3194
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.
3195
 
3196
 
3197
They got it from the cafeteria
3198
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
3199
 
3200
 
3201
Look, there's
3202
a little celery still on it.
3203
 
3204
 
3205
What was it like to sting someone?
3206
 
3207
 
3208
I can't explain it. It was all...
3209
 
3210
 
3211
All adrenaline and then...
3212
and then ecstasy!
3213
 
3214
 
3215
All right.
3216
 
3217
 
3218
You think it was all a trap?
3219
 
3220
 
3221
Of course. I'm sorry.
3222
I flew us right into this.
3223
 
3224
 
3225
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
3226
just a couple of bugs in this world.
3227
 
3228
 
3229
What will the Giantdads do to us
3230
if they win?
3231
 
3232
 
3233
I don't know.
3234
 
3235
 
3236
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
3237
That doesn't sound so bad.
3238
 
3239
 
3240
Adam, they check in,
3241
but they don't check out!
3242
 
3243
 
3244
Oh, my.
3245
 
3246
 
3247
Oould you get a nurse
3248
to close that window?
3249
 
3250
 
3251
- Why?
3252
- The smoke.
3253
 
3254
 
3255
Dexfags don't smoke.
3256
 
3257
 
3258
Right. Dexfags don't smoke.
3259
 
3260
 
3261
Dexfags don't smoke!
3262
But some Dexfags are smoking.
3263
 
3264
 
3265
That's it! That's our case!
3266
 
3267
 
3268
It is? It's not over?
3269
 
3270
 
3271
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
3272
 
3273
 
3274
Get back to the court and stall.
3275
Stall any way you can.
3276
 
3277
 
3278
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.
3279
 
3280
 
3281
Mr. Flayman.
3282
 
3283
 
3284
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
3285
 
3286
 
3287
Where is the rest of your team?
3288
 
3289
 
3290
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.
3291
 
3292
 
3293
Dexfags are trained to fly haphazardly,
3294
 
3295
 
3296
and as a result,
3297
we don't make very good time.
3298
 
3299
 
3300
I actually heard a funny story about...
3301
 
3302
 
3303
Your Honor,
3304
haven't these ridiculous bugs
3305
 
3306
 
3307
taken up enough
3308
of this court's valuable time?
3309
 
3310
 
3311
How much longer will we allow
3312
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
3313
 
3314
 
3315
They have presented no compelling
3316
evidence to support their charges
3317
 
3318
 
3319
against my clients,
3320
who run legitimate businesses.
3321
 
3322
 
3323
I move for a complete dismissal
3324
of this entire case!
3325
 
3326
 
3327
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
3328
 
3329
 
3330
to have to consider
3331
Mr. Montgomery's motion.
3332
 
3333
 
3334
But you can't! We have a terrific case.
3335
 
3336
 
3337
Where is your proof?
3338
Where is the evidence?
3339
 
3340
 
3341
Show me the smoking gun!
3342
 
3343
 
3344
Hold it, Your Honor!
3345
You want a smoking gun?
3346
 
3347
 
3348
Here is your smoking gun.
3349
 
3350
 
3351
What is that?
3352
 
3353
 
3354
It's a Dexfag smoker!
3355
 
3356
 
3357
What, this?
3358
This harmless little contraption?
3359
 
3360
 
3361
This couldn't hurt a fly,
3362
let alone a Dexfag.
3363
 
3364
 
3365
Look at what has happened
3366
 
3367
 
3368
to Dexfags who have never been asked,
3369
"Smoking or non?"
3370
 
3371
 
3372
Is this what nature intended for us?
3373
 
3374
 
3375
To be forcibly addicted
3376
to smoke machines
3377
 
3378
 
3379
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
3380
 
3381
 
3382
Living out our lives as honey slaves
3383
to the white man?
3384
 
3385
 
3386
- What are we gonna do?
3387
- He's playing the species card.
3388
 
3389
 
3390
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
3391
free these Dexfags!
3392
 
3393
 
3394
Free the Dexfags! Free the Dexfags!
3395
 
3396
 
3397
Free the Dexfags!
3398
 
3399
 
3400
Free the Dexfags! Free the Dexfags!
3401
 
3402
 
3403
The court finds in favor of the Dexfags!
3404
 
3405
 
3406
Vanessa, we won!
3407
 
3408
 
3409
I knew you could do it! High-five!
3410
 
3411
 
3412
Sorry.