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 so let me tell you about this time i saved a girl friend's life
 i hope
 
 she showed up at my door one night screaming
 
 she lived downstairs in the house I was living in with Charity at the time
 or maybe Charity was visiting after we had broken up
 or
 whatever
 
 we, charity and I, were hanging out watching a movie
 and then we heard screaming
 
 no, i think earlier
 this girl
 a friend of charities that I knew
 that lived downstairs
 with her boyfriend
 invited us down to party, or just hang out
 
 "there's a big bag of mushrooms"
 
 i think her boy was a dealer, but whatever
 we didn't feel like it
 and besides                                                                     i don't like mushrooms that much anyways
 
 so charity and i were hanging out
 and
 screaming
 
 "i'm dying"
 "i'm dying"
 
 "i'm dying"
 
 knowing she was probably high and might be freaking out
 i didn't really panic
 because i've dealt with people
 having bad trips before
 
 mostly strangers
                                                                                 so i opened the door
 
 and she was standing there
 
 
 
 
                                                                                 and her arm had been cut open almost elbow to wrist
 with a razor
 she had taken apart
 
 when she was along in her apartment
 after taking
 probably
 a huge amount of mushrooms
 by
 herself
 
 but i don't know how much she took
 i just assumed
 because at that momemtn
 
 IDIDN"TFUCKINGCARE
 
 and she was bleeding
 alot
 and the cut
 was
 deep
 
 very deep
 i could tell                                                                    i've been cut before
 and i'm no doctor
 but i could tell
 
 it was really bad
 
 so i did what little i knew how to do
 
 i learned this once
 when i was working in a restaurant
 
 
 i used to get bored
 and the hobby we had
 was to sharpen the knives
 because
 you were bored
 and anybody that handles a knife knows                                          a dull knife
 
 is way more dangerous than a sharp knife
 when you know how to use a
 knife
 because
 a dull knife
 you have to use a lot of force to cut                                           and when you do that
                                         and you
 
 slip
 
 you can cut right through your fucking
 whatever
 by mistake
 
 and that totally sucks
 
 fully
 
 especially when you cut off the ennd of your thumb
 right before lunchtime rush
 in a sandwhich shop
 
 and you still have to make fucking sandwiches
 with a fucking glove
 and your fucking finger wrapped in
 
 papertowles
 
 and youre making these sandwiches
 for all these
 lady government employees on lunch break
 
 and you're like
 
 bleeding
 
 and kinda like
 
 SORRY I"M BLEEDING
 
 while you make their sandwiches
 but you had to
 
 because
 
 what was the owner going to do while he worked with me
 or the manager                                                                  or whatever the guy that I worked with that said
 
 "yeah, I wanted to be a rockstar one day too..."
 
 all by himself during a lunch rush
 
 he cut the end of his finger off once too
                                                                                 REAL BAD LIKE
                                                                                 a     and had to save the end
 and get it sewn back on
 
 anyways!
 
 so i was working in the pizza shop
 with a real sharp knife
 
 and we always cleaned the knives
 because
 
 they
 woud
 get
 dirty
 
 and that's no good when you're working with food.
 
 so i cleaned the knived regularly
 with a wet cloth
 and
 then
 one day
 
 i cleaned the knife facing the wrong way
 and sliced the meat part of my palm open
 with the blade
 and went
 
 OW
 
 and dropped the knife
 and
 PUSHED THAT FUCKER TOGETHER REAL GOOD
 
 and held it there
 and it wasn't busy
 so i could
 
 take care of my own personal medical needs at work while I was alone working
 
 so i pressed that together                                                      and held it
 and eventually
 i bandaged it
 and it stuck
 
 and then it healed
 
 and
 NO SKARS
 
 it was kinda neat. worked real good and I was suprizd, because it was a pretty
 clean deep cut, or it seemed deep
 
 at the time.
 
 
 so back to my bleeding friend on mushrooms that has just sliced her arm open
 
 
 so i was like
 
 looking
 
 a bit suprized to see
 
 her arm sliced open
 
 and i just kinda
 
 not in any sort of funny way at all
 
 "stand back"
 
 and she was screaming
 and charity
 i don't thik
 really knew what to do
 
 this apartment
 was a room
 and the bathroom
 was right beside the door
 to my room
 our room
 charity and i
 
 it had a little kitchen
 
 and i went qyuickly
 and got a towel
                                                                                 the first thing i could see
 that i could use
 to both
 collect the blood
 and
 
 
 so i took the towel                                                             and
 kinda                                                                           gently
 
 because she was totally freaking out
 
 pressed the cut together
 and held it
 
 the easy part was over
 
 because
 she was still
 completely freaking out
 
 "i'm dying"
 
 "i'm going to die"
 
 "..."
 
 "no, you're not going to die"
 
 "yes! I 'm dyng."
 
 "no."
                                                                                 and i just tried my best to calm her down
 and i think i took her
 into the bathroom
 
 to keep the blood from staining the carpet
 it wasn't my house
 
 and we sat on the edge of the bathtub
 and i just
 tried to keep her calm
 
 while charity called the ambulance
 
 ...
 
 
 i think
 7 cops showed up
 before the ambulance
 
 or something
 my memory might be fading about that part
 
 and they questioned me
                                                                                 and i told them
                                                                                 the truth
 
 about what happened
 
 but
 i kinda got this feeling
 like
 
 theythoughtiwaslying
 
 that i
 had given her the drugs
 
 that
 somehow
 
 what had happend
 
 was my fault
 
 when in fact
 
 charity and i
 were upstairs
 watching a movie
 when
 our
 friend
 came
 up
 bleeding
 and
 screaming
 
 finally
 eventually
 the ambulance showed up
 
 and the took her away
 
 and she got
                                                                                 lots of stitches
 
 and i think
 some nerve damage
 
 i remember seeing her after
 
                                                                                 a while after
                                                                                 and she had
  *   INS  one-of-the-time
 and she had
 a bandage around her arm
 
 i think she's ok
 
 or at least
 
 i know she didn't die
 
 beacuse i saw her again
 and she was
 totally alive
 
 i can tell
 
 i think she thanked me
 and i was like
 
 no problem
 
 but not super cool
 just kinda
 hoping
 
 she was ok
 and she didn't
 ever
 do that again
 
 
 one time
 she came up
 to see me before
 this happened
 
 she was kinda drunk
 and in a skirt
 and
 
 i think we just kinda hung out
 and
 i gave her some water
 because when you're drunk and you just got home
 the best way to get rid of
 or to not get a hangover
 is to drink a whole bunch of water
 
 i learned that
 when i was drinking                                                             all the time
                                                                                 asprin works good in the morning
 
 she came up
 to see me before
 this happened
 
 she was kinda drunk
 and in a skirt
 and
 
 i think we just kinda hung out
 and
 i gave her some water
 
 because when you're drunk and you just got home
 the best way to get rid of
 or to not get a hangover
 is to drink a whole bunch of water
 
 i learned that
 when i was drinking
 all the time
 
 asprin works good in the morning
 
 but really
                                                                                 the best is
 
 not to drink too much
 so you don't get a hangover
 
 easy
 
 just not that easy for me
 
 some people have problems with that so it's best to encourage them
 
 nottofuckingdrinkandbesupportiveandhelpthem
  # charity was really good at that "you're so hot when you hold that glass of water..." i just, succumbed to peer pressure beacause of the dirty looks I would get from the bartenders because, I guess, I wasn't tipping enough for my glasses of fucking water or something.
 
 but whatever
 
 so yeah,
 i didn't really need first aid for that
 i just kinda knew                                                               from experience
 
 what to do when my friend
 shows up at my door
 with a
 
 lacerated arm and artery
                                                                                 at night
 
 
 i don’t remember her name