View difference between Paste ID: KH0zvFpr and QjNhLP0a

 Index:
 
 b = balloon
 
 n = narration balloons (the rectangular ones)
 
 noise = those little sentences written outside of balloons
 
 SFX = sound effect
 
 t = thought balloons
 
 (let me know if something is unclear about the numeration of the pages or balloons! I'll try to fix it for next times!)
 
 (the symbol "|" is used to split a long sentence in the balloons that compose it)
 
 "Note for me" are notes left by the translator to remember himself the words he keeps forgetting, so feel free to ignore them
 
 ---------------------
 
 https://exhentai.org/g/1503797/e96b594467/
 Note: I'm translating from https://nhentai.net/g/288658/ because now, 17/06/2020 at 7:15 PM, exhentai doesn't load. I think it's in crash
 
 Title page: ひなた先生が教えてあげる! = Hinata-sensei teaches me!
 
 On the book behind the title, on the right: 大好き  ひなた先生 = I love you | Hinata-sensei
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 2 <-- blank one (it's page 3 in the raw)
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 3 (it's page 4 in the raw)
 
 ● Hello everyone and nice to meet you! I'm Kokekokko☆Coma.
 
 ● This time I made a booklet about Hinata from Yama no Susume.
 Note: I thought that "I made a booklet" sounded more natural than "it's a booklet about"
 
-● Hinata has good grades and works as a part-time private tutor... what a nice setting...
+● Hinata has good grades and works as a part-time private tutor... What a nice setting...
 Note: season 2, ep 18, around minute 2:00: it shows that her part-time job is "teaching as a private tutor to primary school kids". Season 2, ep 19, around minute 5:43: it shows that hinata's grades score is high up in the semester's rankings
 
 ● Well, I hope you enjoy!
 Note: the original actually says "That said, please, take a look (at this booklet)!" but a simple "hope you enjoy" worked better here imo
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 4
 
-n.1 = Today my private tutor will come over.
+n.1 = Today my private tutor is coming over.
 
 n.2 = I hope Hinata-sensei will be here soon...
 Note: maybe "Hinata-sensei... how longer do I have to wait (to see you)...?" would convey his eagerness better? His in love with her and this is a vanilla, so I think both work
 
 SFX panel 3, the doorbell: dling-dlong
 
 b.1 = Hey there, Takashi-kun~!
 
 b.2 = Let's do our best today as well!
 Note: I cut "at studying" away to make it sound better. I mean, she's his teacher, so I thought it would be pretty obvious what she's referring to with that "let's do our best"
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 5
 
 b.1-2 = I'm soaking wet! | It started pouring out of the blue!
 Note: the original probably goes more along the lines of "Unlucky! | It started raining all of a sudden!", I'm not really sure how to convey the first balloon (maybe reversing them would work better?) but I believe both interpretations work along with the pictures
 
 b.3 = W-Well... do you want to take a shower?
 
 b.4 = Here.
 
-b.5 = Thank you! I'll get in for a bit.
+b.5 = Thank you! I'll borrow your shower for a bit.
-Note: maybe more literal like "I'll borrow your shower for a bit" would work better?
+
 b.6 = Takashi-kun, do you wanna join me?
 
 b.7 = !!
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 6
 
 b.1 = Eh?
 
 b.2 = C'mon, I'm kidding! *Hahaha*
 
-Note: the original's laughter is actually spelled as "Ahahah", but I stuck to the most common way to write it in English (as far as I know, I might be wrong)
+
 
 b.4 = Sigh...
 
 on the fridge: There's some pudding (in)
 
 b.5 = Uuugh... Hinata-sensei...
 
 b.6 (sound of the shower's water) = Shhh
 
 noise 1 = Hinata-sensei is all naked...
 
 noise 2 = ...in my bathroom right now.
-Note: I mixed this and the next one to make them sound better in English. The original goes along the lines of "Now in this house's bath... | ...is a naked Hinata-sensei"
+
 noise 3 = If I said "Yes"...
 
 noise 4 = ...would we be in there together?
 
-Note: dunno how to make any simple "If I answered 'yes' (to her question)"
+
 
-noise 4 = ...would have we bathed together?
+
-Note: maybe it's too wordy for a child? He literally says "Would (have) we entered together?". Maybe simplifying it like "Would we be together?" would make it simpler and clearer?
+
 b.1 = Sorry to keep you waiting, Takashi-kun!
 
 b.2 = Now, let's get studying!
 
 b.3 = Let's see... how much did we do last time...?
-b.1 = Sorry for keeping you waiting, Takashi-kun!
+
-Note: maybe a simple "Thanks for waiting" would work better?
+
 
 b.5 = What's up, Takashi-kun?
 
 ---------------------
-Note: maybe "how far did we go last time" would work better given the situation...?
+
 Page 8
 
 b.1 = Y-Your hair...
 
-Note: she's speaks in a friendly tone in the anime too, so either "what's wrong" or "what is it" work great too
+
 
 b.4 = O-Okay...
 
 b.5 = Sensei...?
 
 b.6 = Hinata-sensei?
 
 b.7 = Mh...?
-Note: The original specifies "when it's hang", but I think that "like this" would work just fine too. I think the detail about the hair being dry isn't relevant and could be cut away, but it's no biggie I guess
+
 b.8 = Yawn~!
 
 b.9-10 = Sorry, I dozed off. | Let's take a break when you finish this page.
 
 b.11 = I already finished it, Hinata-sensei.
 
 b.12 = Oh...
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 9
-b.9-10 = Sorry, I dozed off. | Let's take a break when you finish the page.
+
-Note: I thought that "the page" is a page that she asked him to do before she dozed off, but maybe "this page" would work logically better...?
+b.1 = I'll get some tea.
 
 b.2 = Okaaay~!
 
 b.3 = Zzz...
 
 b.4 = Hinata-sen...
 
 b.5 = BONK
 
-b.1 = I'll take some tea.
+
 
 b.7 = ...
 
 b.8 = !
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 10 <-- no balloons in this page
 
 くんくん = sniff sniff
 
 すや = zzz
 
 ドキドキ = ba-dump
 Note: it's the sound of his heart
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 11
 
 noise 1 = I saw them...!
 
 noise 2 = I saw Hinata-sensei's boobs!
 
 noise 3 = Her boobs...!
 
 noise 4 = Her boobs!
 
 noise 5 = Hinata-sensei...
 
 noise 6 = Hi-Hinata-sensei!
 
 thought 1 = I love you!
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 12
 
 noise 1 = Did something... come out from my...?
 
 b.1 = Takashi-kun?
 
 b.2 = !!
 
 b.3-4 = I-I'm...! | I'm sorry!
 
 b.5 = ?
 
 b.6-7 = I... I...! | I always imagine lewd stuff about you, Hinata-sensei!
-Note: he only says "did something come out", I specified from where to make it clearer (maybe "from down here" or "down there" would work too)
+
 noise 2 (男のコだね) = Well, you're a boy~!
 
 b.8 = How could I do this to my beloved Hinata-sensei...
 
 noise 3 (だいすき) = BELOVED
 
 b.9-10 = Oooh, | geez!
 
 b.11 = Fuwaah!
 
 b.12 = What do you think you're doing, making your Sensei all excited!
 
 ---------------------
 
-Note: I think that phrased this way would create the right misinterpretation: he might mean "I fapped on her", she might get "imagining lewd stuff about me"
+
 
 b.1 = Wow... is that semen?
 
 b.2 = Maybe...
 
 b.3 = Can I touch it?
 
 b.4 = Y-Yes!
-Note: she actually says "dokidoki", so it's more "excited like when your heart throbs due to strong emotions (not specifically due to sexual arousal)", do you think that "excited" works good enough in this case?
+
 b.5 = Nh...
 
 b.6 = Ahh!
 
 b.7 = Oh, sorry! I bet it's embarrassing, isn't it?
 
 b.8 = Now we're even.
 
 b.9-10 = Wanna try touching them? | My boobs...
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 14
 
 b.1 = You can suck and lick them too.
 
 b.2 = Ah!
 
 b.3 = Kyah!
 
 b.4 = Takashi-kun, do you really love me?
-b.9-10 = Wanna try to touch them? | My boobs...
+
 b.5 = Y-Yes!
 
 b.6 = I love you, Hinata-sensei!
 
 b.7-8 = Ehehehe~! | Hey, Takashi-kun...
 
 b.9 = Do you wanna learn how to be a man?
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 15
 
 b.1 = Basically, you have to stick your pee-pee...
 
 b.2 = ...into this part of Sensei.
 
 b.3-4 = Huhhh... | Huhhh...!
 
 b.5 = C'mon, come here.
 
-Note: maybe she goes more along the lines of "do you want to simulate how to be a man with your sensei" but I'm not really sure how to phrase this any better
+
 
 b.7 = Nh!
 
 b.8 = Ah!
 
-b.1 = Basically, you have to stick your penis...
+
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 16
 
 b.1 = S-Sensei...! It's... amazing...!
 
 b.2 = Try to move your pee-pee inside me.
 Note: I don't know if this makes any sense in English... maybe we could just change this to “move your hips” here, then say “yes, up and down” in b.4... I think I'll leave this up to the proofreader
 
 b.3 = Moving...?
 
 b.4 = Move your hips up and down.
 
 b.5 = Can I really do it...?
 
 b.6 = Please...
 
 b.7 = ...I want you to move your hips.
 
 b.8 = Ah!
-b.2 = Try to move your penis within me.
+
 b.9 = Aah!
 
-b.3 = What do you mean? / Moving...?
+
-Note: I thought the former would work better, but the latter is more accurate in terms of translation
+
 b.11 = Ahn!
 
-Note: maybe "up and down" can be cut away...?
+
 
 b.13 (the only one on her right) = Kyah!
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 17
 
 b.1 (middle right) = Hyau!
 
 b.2 (below b1) = S-Sensei...!
 
 b.3 (left b2) = Anh!
 
 b.4 (behind his head) = Hinata-sensei!
 
 b.5 = Aahn!
 
 b.6 = Nh...!
 
 b.7 = Ah!
 
 b.8 = Ta-Takashi-kun...!
 
 b.9 = Ahn!
 
 b.10 = Hyan!
 
 b.11 = Aih!
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 18
 
 b.1 = Nnh!
 
 b.2 = Anh!
 
 b.3 = You tried really hard, didn't you?
 
 b.4 = Yeah...
 
 b.5 = Your Sensei is really glad.
 
 b.6-7 = Hinata-sensei... | ...I want to do it more!
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 19
 
 b.1 = Go ahead.
 
 b.2 = Let's do all the review you want.
 
 b.3 = You already know what to do, right?
-Note: dunno how to convey "you did your best moving your hips" in a more natural way... I cut away “moving your hips” because... well, I think it wasn't necessary to repeat it again here
+
 b.4 = Ah! Aah!
 
 b.5 = Hyaun!
 
 b.6 = Ah!
 
 b.7 = Aanh!
 
 p.8 (right, below b6) = Slap
 Note: literally the impact of his hips on hers
 
 b.9 (left, below b7) = Slap
 
-b.2 = Let's have all the reviews you want.
+
 
 b.11 = Slap
-Note: she actually says “You already know how to stick it in on your own, right?”, but I thought we could make it sound a bit better like this
+
 ---------------------
 
 Page 20
 
 b.1 = Ah!
 
 b.2-3 = Hi-Hinata-sensei!
 
 b.4 = I love you!
-p.8 (right, below b6) = Chaff / Slap
+
 b.5-6 = Anh! | Kyah!
 
-b.9 (left, below b7) = Chaff / Slap
+
 
 b.8 = Ahn!
 
-b.11 = Chaff / Slap
+
 
 b.10 = Ahih!
 
 b.11 (on his head) = Uwah!
 
 b.12 = Aanh!
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 21
 
 noise 1 = Then...
 Note: I pretty much put everything in the next sentence to make it work better in English
 
 noise 2 = ...Hinata-sensei and I took a bath together.
 
 noise 3 = She started licking my pee-pee...
 
 noise 4 = ...and I learned yet another wonderful thing.
 
 noise 5 = After that...
 Note: again, I adapted and mixed this and the next one to make them sound better. In the original it doesn't say "after that", I added it to make it all work better
 
 noise 6 = ...Hinata-sensei went home.
 Note: the original uses "at the usual time" but I think it isn't really necessary, we might cut it away
 
 noise 7 = What will my beloved Hinata-sensei...
 
 noise 8 = ...teach me next time?
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 22 <-- empty page
 
-noise 3 = She started licking my penis...
+
-Note: the original goes more along the lines of: "And (by) licking my penis... | ...I learnt yet another wonderful thing" bu
+
 Page 23
 
 b.1 = Aoi~!
 
 b.2 = Please, Aoi, let me have your dick!
 
-noise 6 = ...Hinata-sensei went home at the usual time.
+
 
 b.4 = Aoi, gimme your diiick~!
 
-Note: maybe "I wonder what will I learn next time... | ...with my beloved Hinata-sensei" can work fine too?
+
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 24
 
 ● So, did you like it?
 
 ● It would be great if we had a new season of Yama no Susume...
 
 ● Well then, see you next time~
 
 2019/08
 
 Kokekokko☆Coma
 
 ---------------------
 
 Page 25
 
 Hinata-sensei teaches me!
 
 Release date
 2019/8/11
 
 Author
 Kokekokko☆Coma
 
 Publisher
 Jido hikki
 
 website
 https://kokecoma.x.fc2.com/
 
 email
 coma@kra.biglobe.ne.jp
 
 Printed by
 Neko no shippo
 Note: https://www.shippo.co.jp/neko/ <-- their website, if we want to add it