View difference between Paste ID: CHZHVJG6 and aYCD9MDE

 Original Author: writer_ !q4X9Fm43Dk Thu 25 Sep 2014 22:15:12 No.19888135
 >Day: Equestria
 >Location: Tuesday
 >In?: Anon
 
 >Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense.
 >You snarl and gnash your completely nonthreatening canines, seizing the dissertation on your new solar monarch and ripping it into a thousand pieces.
 >The sun revolves around the earth?! How is this possible!
 "SON OF A BITCH!"
 >The door behind you creaks open.
 >You round on the victim of your anger, and -
 >Immediately calm the fuck down, as a meek-looking guard palomino pokes her head in the doorway.
 >Nerd rage isn't nearly as clever or fun if there's nobody to understand it.
 >"Um... is everything alright, sir?" she asks.
 >Your mind's telling you 'no'.
 >BUT YOUR BO-DY~
 >YOUR BODY'S TELLIN' YOU YEEEES
 >Alright, enough of that.
 "I'm fine, thanks," you say, forcing a smile onto your face. "Dismissed."
 >The mare's cute muzzle scrunches a little bit at the glimmer of your teeth, but you ignore it out of habit, turning back to your desk.
 >"Um, actually, sir."
 "Mmm?" you say, drawing a new sheet of parchment from the neatly-stacked pile above your desk.
 >You dip the quill into the inkpot and begin scribbling.
 >"I have a letter for you, sir," the pegasus says curtly.
 "Ah. Just pop it by the door, will you?"
 >"...Actually, it's from the Princess."
 >Oh.
 >You pause from your writing, staring at the headboard of your desk.
 >It's probably about the complete absence of letters you've been sending her.
 >Probably a royal reprimand or something similar.
 >Who knows.
 "Alright. Just leave it on my desk, I'll read it in a dollar."
 >You blink.
 "I mean, a bit. Fuck, whatever."
 >The mare makes an unsure 'uhm'ing noise.
 >"It's, um... it's not my place to question you, sir, but I really think you should read this particular letter."
 >Her insistence is bugging you a bit.
 "Why? Does it look important?"
 >"It's, um..."
 >"Yeah, I guess."
 >"Looks like Celestia is asking you on a date, sir."
 
 >A loud snapping noise breaks a terribly long silence.
 >You glance down at the quill in your hand, which is now broken clean in two.
 >A nasty scrawl of ink slips off to one side of the page, ruining yet another scholarly endeavour
 >But hold the fuck up.
 "Excuse me?" you say, turning proper to Storm Lily. "What did you say?"
 >Storm Lily enters the room meekly, shutting the door quickly behind her.
 >In one hoof lies not a usual parchment scroll, but a red letter.
 >On it is embossed a faint gold heart stamped with a sun.
 >Storm Lily looks like a mess.
 >She's blushing and giggling in delight as she flutters over, depositing the letter on your desk.
 >"Wow, sir, isn't this fantastic? The Princess desires your company! What an honour!"
 >You can't quite believe what you're hearing.
 "Hold the phone. How in the what in the who now?"
 >Storm Lily, still smiling, rolls her eyes and jabs at the letter with a hoof.
 >"Just open it."
 >With two fingers, you bust through the paper with your letter-fu, retreiving the faint parchment within.
 >It glows a warm gold as you unfurl it, bathing your face and the otherwise darkened study in an almost celestial light
 
 >You read aloud for the benefit of Storm Lily.
 
 >My dearest Anonymous, I desire your presence in Canterlot this evening to dine privately with me.
 >I will send a chariot by at 6:30.
 >Yours lovingly,
 >Princess Celestia.
 
 >You fold the note back closed, issuing the same blank stare to the closed note as you had the headboard not a few moments ago.
 >
 >No, hang on, let's look at that again.
 >You re-open the folded letter.
 >Sparkly sparkly light glimmers around the room, scattering sunshine and rainbows and all manner of golden things ar-
 "Pfft, get real!"
 >You seize the letter in both hands and tear it down the middle.
 >There's a squealing noise from to your right, one that couldn't possibly have come from a trained guardspony like Storm Lily.
 >Nonetheless, you check up on whateverthefuck it might have been
 >The mare in question stares at you bug-eyed, her jaw slack in abject shock.
 >"Wh... wh-what did... whuh..."
 "What is this, the sixteen hundreds?" you demand of her, jabbing a finger against her barrel. "Nobody asks ANON out. I am a god-damn man, and I'm going to ask my OWN mares out."
 >Storm Lily lets out a tiny, terrified gasp, and then promptly faints into a small, twitching pile of feathers.
 >You look down at her.
 "Are you alright?"
 >The merest act of gallantry sends her into convulsions.
 >You decide to leave before you can do any more harm to the poor mare.
 >You need to go to Canterlot anyway, and talk with Celestia.
 
 AND THUS BEGAN THE ADVENTURES OF CHECKED PRIVILEGES: ANONYMOUS EDITION
 
 >Stride to the door and exit the study
 >The manor-house that has been generously granted to you is a few small paces, with guard-mares dotted here and there.
 >With your gigantic, manly strides, you quickly pace down the corridor towards the front door.
 >On the way, another one of your harem of guards exits another room, making for the door.
 >You both reach it at the same time.
 >For a second, you both share an uncomfortable moment.
 >You reach out to the doorhandle, twisting it and opening it.
 >Her deep magenta irises widen somewhat.
 >She appears simultaneously outraged and ashamed
 >Your smile widens into something short of a sadistic grin, and you bow your head slightly.
 "Ladies first."
 >The mare gasps in shock, shuddering in absolute fear at the sheer nerve of you
 >She gingerly trots beyond the doorway, and you become aware that two other house-mares are watching you from the front-gate solemnly, not daring to speak, but equally shocked.
 >The mare whom you walked through the door turns to you, stammering in shock.
 >"Th-thank you," she mumbles.
 >You smile wider, your erection now throbbing against your jeansfront.
 >"It was my privilege."
 
 >Exit out onto the busy Canterlot-town street, leaving a flock of stunned mares in your wake
 >With bold strides you begin to walk the fuck to the carriage rank; with the ultimate goal of claiming your mare
 >Mares left and right are noting your bizarrely bold antics, your fine-pressed suit and daring smile
 >The stallions behind them look meek and afraid, but some of them cheer at the very sight of you
 >You smile and nod your head politely at the mares as they pass you, most of whom are trying (and failing) to not notice you
 "Good morning, ladies," you say to two nobleponies.
 >Both gasp and swoon at the mere display of courtesy
 >You reach the end of the taxi-line, taking close note of the stallions shackled to carts, all of whom glance at you as you approach boldly
 >You wait patiently, until it's your turn at the top of the line
 >All of a sudden you hear the clopping of hooves and a few sharp cries
 >"Ah! Damn! Is that the last cab?"
 >You glance up to see a young, single mare looking woefully at the cab you're about to step into.
 >"Fraid' so, Miss," replies the Zebra cab driver. "I think this'm here fine gentleman wished to use it-"
 >You hold up your hand
 >The line behind you collectively holds their breath
 "Not at all. Let this young mare take my place, please."
 >The mare trembles at the realisation of what is taking place
 >With a sweep of your suited arm, you open the door and offer it to her
 >A mare in the line behind you squeals in horror
 >Humiliated, the young mare before you can think of no way to hit back against your overpowering chivalry
 >She quickly alights into the carriage as you smile arrogantly at her
 >"Thank you," she utters faintly, as you go to close the door
 >You pause in doing so, open it back up a little, and smile warmly at her
 >Lean down so that only she can hear
 "It was my privilege."
 
 >Decide to hoof it as future cabs aren't forthcoming
 >A glance at a greying sky makes you quicken your pace,much to the chagrin of passers by
 >With about fifteen minutes of solid walking you are about two-thirds of the way to the train station
 >When, all of a sudden, the local pegasi decide that perhaps it's time for you to catch hypothermia
 >Grey clouds scoot in, obscuring your previously warm and sunny day
 >And with almost as much warning they begin to spit rain
 >As expected, ponies on the street begin to hurry their own pace substantially
 >Not you, though
 >You are a man, unafraid or hurt by a light rain.
 >Walk the rest of the way as the rain slowly turns to a drizzle
 >You arrive at the train station just in time, and a small flash accompanied by a clap of thunder lets you know that you've barely missed the rain
 >The ponies leaving the station, however, aren't so lucky
 >You see Canterlot mares and stallions scattering hither and thither, their fancy dresses hitched up over their fetlocks so they don't get wet
 >All save one rather sheepish looking mare, who looks like she's caught out of the rain
 >she peers out at the sky, biting her lip and shivering at the cold
 >This looks like a job for you.
 >Entering into the station, you approach her, removing your jacket
 >As if in slow motion, the mare's expression slowly turns from the sky to you
 >You see the alarm in her bright green eyes, the question of 'why' forming on her lips
 >But you beat her to speaking
 "Excuse me, you look cold. Could I offer you a jacket?"
 >She stammers as you offer her the tailored suit-jacket
 >She offers no resistance as you cast it around her shoulders, but there's a horrified series of gasps from the ponies nearby
 >They nicker and chatter to one another as you skullfuck the matriarchy
 >And before the mare can respond, you lean down close and whisper in her ear
 "No need to thank me. It was my privilege."
 
 >Canterlot Castle station is just a short stride away
 >You attempted to offer your seat to a filly on the way over
 >You could practically hear the matriarchy crying out in despair as you savagely defiled it with your firm, strong masculinity
 >Now jacketless - but not vest-less - you alight from the train, leaving a trail of nervous stallions and outraged mares in your wake
 >The drawbridge to Canterlot Castle lowers for you as you stride up the mountainside, simply not giving a fuck
 >As you cross the drawbridge you note that the guards either side of the portcullis are stallions
 >Both are smiling at you, with tears in their eyes
 >Wave jovially to them and walk on as they begin to weep, finally realising that they are free from their oppression
 >Walk to Celestia's throne room, ignoring the shocked stares of the sight of an unescorted male in the house of the two princesses
 >Reach the golden double doors
 >There's a sharp intake of breath from the stallions either side of the door, who think you're about to do something unthinkable
 >Knock, knock, knock
 >One of them shivers and moans at the sheer ecstasy of being freed
 >"Enter," demands a calm, motherly voice
 >You do so at your Princess's command.
 
 >The throne room is not so packed today, you note
 >The upper galleries are all but empty of the snobbiest and richest of nobles
 >The Princess holds court, though from where she sits on her golden throne, she seems to almost be on the same level as her little ponies
 >But you know better then that
 >You wind up your gallantry
 >Celestia sees you coming, and immediately she sits upright in surprise.
 >"Oh, my! Anonymous! What a pleasant surprise it is to see you here! I - " You see her fumble for her words as you do not break in your stride. "Did you... get my, uh, my letter?"
 "Absolutely, your highness."
 >You come to a stop just a few short paces away from her - much closer then any other pony in her court would usually go.
 "I just thought it was rather... antiquated."
 
 >"Antiquated?" she repeats, her voice still firm, but without some of its usual warmth. "Whatever do you mean, my dear Anonymous?"
 "Come now, Celestia," you say with a warm smile. "I think you know all too well. It's the modern age of ponies..." your shit-eating grin spreads from ear to ear. "Surely a man can ask out a mare in this day and age."
 >There's a series of gasps from around the court
 >Celestia's bright magenta eyes bounce around in alarm.
 >"A-anon, if we might have such a conversation later..."
 "Oh, there's no conversation to be had, my dear," You say, taking a few bold strides forward till you stand before her. "I was just wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner this evening - say around six-thirty?"
 >The words have scarcely left your mouth then a chorus of terrified screams fills the court
 >Mares everywhere begin to scatter in fear at the very suggestion that a stallion could do such a thing
 >The stallions watch on, confused, but eager to know more of your conquest
 >Princess Celestia's wings flitter uncomfortably.
 >"W-well, of course," she says. "I would love to, Anonymous. But wouldn't it be better if I asked y-"
 "Say no more," you say, holding up a hand to assert your dominance.
 >The sheer manliness of your words cowers the Princess, and she shrinks a little.
 >"Oh! Oh, well, um... That's fine, I suppose."
 "And another thing," you say, your shiteating grin so wide you can hardly speak.
 >She looks up at you with pleading eyes, begging you not to take this any further
 >But you can't help yourself
 >Your dick throbs in excitement
 >You lean down, taking Celestia's gilded forehoof in a hand, and kiss it gently.
 >The hall explodes into screams
 >A veritable riot begins inside the castle
 >It erupts into full blown and widespread panic, leaving thousands of mares hot and bothered
 >Stallyns everywhere stand up tall and proud, throwing off their chains
 >It is a good day to have a cock in horseland
 fin