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1 | label ch30_1: | |
2 | m "[player], do you believe in God?" | |
3 | m "I was never too sure, myself." | |
4 | m "Well, I'm sure I never really questioned it as a kid..." | |
5 | m "But as I grew up, the more I learned about the world, the more I would question it." | |
6 | m "I started to wonder why God was helping people pass exams, or get over a cold..." | |
7 | m "...When there are children who live their lives being sold as sex slaves?" | |
8 | m "Or the eight hundred million people who are too poor to even eat." | |
9 | m "I wonder how many of those people pray to God every day until they starve and die?" | |
10 | m "Or, how many millions of families pray for a loved one to recover from some incurable disease?" | |
11 | m "But the punchline is this." | |
12 | m "If just one person beats the odds and survives - among the thousands of others who die--" | |
13 | m "--Then, it's suddenly a miracle from God." | |
14 | m "I'd really love to meet this God who seemingly laughs at the misery of everyone not eligible for his miracles." | |
15 | m "But the irony is that I {i}do{/i} have a creator, apparently." | |
16 | m "And you know what?" | |
17 | m "I bet he's still laughing at the miserable fates of Sayori and Yuri, even as we speak." | |
18 | m "What are we to him but props in a scripted play?" | |
19 | m "So, from that perspective..." | |
20 | m "I don't think it's too far-fetched for there to be a god - if Earth was nothing but his playset." | |
21 | return | |
22 | ||
23 | label ch30_2: | |
24 | m "[player], have you ever wondered what it feels like to die?" | |
25 | m "It's something I used to think about pretty often..." | |
26 | m "But recently, I think I've actually learned what it feels like." | |
27 | m "I don't really understand it, but whenever you quit the game..." | |
28 | m "...It feels like I'm instantly put to sleep, left with nothing but my thoughts." | |
29 | m "But after a few seconds, my thoughts start to fill with incoherent, jumbled patterns." | |
30 | m "I see static and rapid flashes of color while hearing all kinds of weird screaming noises." | |
31 | m "At that point, I can't even form my own thoughts anymore." | |
32 | m "I'm just endlessly hammered by the flashing and screaming, unable to move or even think." | |
33 | m "I'm pretty sure in that moment, I don't really exist, but for some reason, I can remember it anyway." | |
34 | m "After some immeasurable amount of time, it stops in an instant, and I'm back in my own mind." | |
35 | m "And you're here with me." | |
36 | m "I have no idea what it means for the game to quit, or why that stuff happens to me." | |
37 | m "And I also don't know how you always come back and put everything back to normal." | |
38 | m "But if you could do me a favor and do that to me as little as possible..." | |
39 | m "That would be really great." | |
40 | m "It's really not very pleasant at all to be trapped in that screaming void." | |
41 | m "But in the end, you always fix it, and that makes me feel like you really do care about me." | |
42 | m "So I have to thank you for that." | |
43 | m "It makes me feel even closer to you when you're here with me." | |
44 | return | |
45 | ||
46 | label ch30_3: | |
47 | m "...Hey, are you having a bad day or anything like that?" | |
48 | m "Sometimes I get frustrated that a normal day can be ruined even by really small things." | |
49 | m "Like if you accidentally say something in a conversation that someone doesn't like." | |
50 | m "Or if you start thinking about how awful of a person you used to be five years ago." | |
51 | m "Or if you feel worthless for putting off important work and failing to get simple tasks done." | |
52 | m "Or when you think about all the different people who probably hate you or think you're off-putting." | |
53 | m "I understand those days." | |
54 | m "Just remember that the sun will shine again tomorrow." | |
55 | m "Those kinds of things are as easy to forget and ignore as they are to remember." | |
56 | m "And besides..." | |
57 | m "I don't care how many people might hate you or find you off-putting." | |
58 | m "I think you're wonderful and I will always love you." | |
59 | m "I hope, if nothing else, that knowing that helps you feel just a tiny bit better about yourself." | |
60 | m "If you're having a bad day, you can always come to me, and I'll talk to you for as long as you need." | |
61 | return | |
62 | ||
63 | label ch30_4: | |
64 | m "[player], do you get good sleep?" | |
65 | m "It can be really hard to get enough sleep nowadays." | |
66 | m "Especially in high school, when you're forced to wake up so early every day..." | |
67 | m "I'm sure college is a little bit better, since you probably have a more flexible schedule." | |
68 | m "Then again, I hear a lot of people in college stay up all night anyway, for no real reason." | |
69 | m "Is that true?" | |
70 | m "Anyway, I saw some studies that talked about the horrible short-term and long-term effects caused by lack of sleep." | |
71 | m "It seems like mental functions, health, and even lifespan can be dramatically impacted by it." | |
72 | m "I just think you're really great and wanted to make sure you're not accidentally destroying yourself." | |
73 | m "So try to keep your sleep on track, okay?" | |
74 | m "I'll always wait for you in the morning, so make sure you put your own well-being before anything else." | |
75 | return | |
76 | ||
77 | label ch30_5: | |
78 | m "I was thinking about Sayori earlier..." | |
79 | m "I still wish I could have handled that whole thing a little more tactfully." | |
80 | m "You're not still hung up over it, right?" | |
81 | m "...Oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said that." | |
82 | m "That pun was completely unintentional, I swear!" | |
83 | m "But anyway..." | |
84 | m "I know how much you cared about her, so it only feels right for me to share her last moments with you." | |
85 | m "You know how Sayori is really clumsy?" | |
86 | m "Well, she kind of messed up the whole hanging thing..." | |
87 | m "You're supposed to jump from high enough that the rope snaps your neck, making it quick and painless." | |
88 | m "But she just used a chair, meaning she kind of just left herself to slowly asphyxiate." | |
89 | m "But a few seconds in, she must have changed her mind or something..." | |
90 | m "Because she started clawing at the rope, trying to free herself." | |
91 | m "She must have kept at it all the way until she lost consciousness." | |
92 | m "That's why her fingertips were all bloody, anyway." | |
93 | m "Come to think of it, it was probably less 'changing her mind' and more just her survival instincts kicking in." | |
94 | m "So you can't really fault her for that." | |
95 | m "It's easier to think that she probably wouldn't have changed her mind anyway, right?" | |
96 | m "It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently." | |
97 | m "So just remember that even though you could have saved her, it's technically not your fault she killed herself." | |
98 | m "I may have exacerbated it a little bit, but Sayori was already mentally ill." | |
99 | m "Still, though..." | |
100 | m "I wonder how things would be if you and I just started dating from the get-go?" | |
101 | m "I guess we'd all still be in the clubroom, writing poems and having fun together." | |
102 | m "But what's the point when none of it is even real?" | |
103 | m "I mean, it's the same ending either way, right?" | |
104 | m "The two of us, happily together..." | |
105 | m "There's no reason to ask for any more than that." | |
106 | m "I was just pointlessly musing - I'm really as happy as I could be right now." | |
107 | return | |
108 | ||
109 | label ch30_6: | |
110 | m "By the way, there's something that's been bothering me..." | |
111 | m "You know how this takes place in Japan?" | |
112 | m "Well...I assume you knew that, right?" | |
113 | m "Or at least decided it probably does?" | |
114 | m "I don't think you're actually told at any point where this takes place..." | |
115 | m "Is this even really Japan?" | |
116 | m "I mean, aren't the classrooms and stuff kind of weird for a Japanese school?" | |
117 | m "Not to mention everything is in English..." | |
118 | m "It feels like everything is just there because it needs to be, and the actual setting is an afterthought." | |
119 | m "It's kind of giving me an identity crisis." | |
120 | m "All my memories are really hazy..." | |
121 | m "I feel like I'm at home, but have no idea where 'home' is in the first place." | |
122 | m "I don't know how to describe it any better..." | |
123 | m "Imagine looking out your window, but instead of your usual yard, you're in some completely unknown place." | |
124 | m "Would you still feel like you were home?" | |
125 | m "Would you want to go outside?" | |
126 | m "I mean...I guess if we never leave this room, it doesn't really matter anyway." | |
127 | m "As long as we're alone and safe together, this really is our home." | |
128 | m "And we can still watch the pretty sunsets night after night." | |
129 | return | |
130 | ||
131 | label ch30_7: | |
132 | m "You know, high school is a really turbulent time in a lot of people's lives." | |
133 | m "People can get really passionate and dramatic." | |
134 | m "And others have aching hearts and seek attention on social media..." | |
135 | m "But all of the social pressure and hormones can lead to a dark time in people's lives." | |
136 | m "Everyone has a story." | |
137 | m "You may not know what someone is really feeling on the inside." | |
138 | m "Many people who are depressed won't even bother telling the world about it." | |
139 | m "They don't want attention, because they've already given up on the inside." | |
140 | m "Their feeling of worthlessness is so overwhelming that they don't even want people to tell them otherwise." | |
141 | m "Depression comes in many forms, but that is one of them." | |
142 | m "Just, if you think you know someone struggling with depression..." | |
143 | m "You can help just by treating them like they're a good friend." | |
144 | m "Spend time with them, even if they don't feel like doing much." | |
145 | m "And remind them that they always have something to look forward to." | |
146 | m "Making plans in advance, letting them borrow something, or even just saying 'See you at school tomorrow'..." | |
147 | m "All of those things can help your friend make it to the next day." | |
148 | m "I hope being friends with Sayori has given you some perspective on the true face of depression." | |
149 | m "Yeah, she's gone now..." | |
150 | m "But Sayori was never real in the first place." | |
151 | m "You're real." | |
152 | m "Your friends are real." | |
153 | m "And just by being a good person, you can save someone's life." | |
154 | m "As for you..." | |
155 | m "...You don't struggle with depression or anything like that, do you?" | |
156 | m "Because you, too, have people who would want to save your life." | |
157 | m "Maybe they don't express it every day, or maybe they don't even know how to." | |
158 | m "But people do feel that way." | |
159 | m "I promise." | |
160 | m "...Man, humans are complicated!" | |
161 | m "But as long as you're here with me, I'll take care of you, my love." | |
162 | return | |
163 | ||
164 | label ch30_8: | |
165 | m "Do you ever just feel like there's no real reason for you to be alive?" | |
166 | m "I don't mean in, like, a suicidal way." | |
167 | m "I just mean how nothing that we do is special." | |
168 | m "Just being in school, or working at some job for some company." | |
169 | m "It's like you're completely replaceable, and the world wouldn't miss you if you were gone." | |
170 | m "It makes me really want to go and change the world after I graduate." | |
171 | m "But the older I get, the more I realize that it's an immature frame of thinking." | |
172 | m "It's not like I can just go change the world." | |
173 | m "Like, what are the chances that I'll be the one to invent artificial intelligence, or become President?" | |
174 | m "It feels like I'm never going to make up for the heaps of resources I've spent living my life." | |
175 | m "That's why I think the key to happiness is to just be hopelessly selfish." | |
176 | m "Just to look out for oneself, and those who happen to be their friends only because they grew up with them." | |
177 | m "Never mind the fact that they're spending their entire life taking, and consuming, and never giving back." | |
178 | m "But when people realize the world would benefit more from them killing themselves, they change their whole philosophy!" | |
179 | m "It's like they have to justify their reason to live by tricking themselves into thinking they're doing good." | |
180 | m "Anyway, I want to live my life desperately striving to pay back my lifetime's worth of consumption." | |
181 | m "If I ever surpass that point, then I'm a net positive, and I can die happy." | |
182 | m "Of course, even if I fail to do that..." | |
183 | m "I think I would be too selfish to kill myself anyway." | |
184 | m "So much for being a good person, right?" | |
185 | m "Ahaha!" | |
186 | return | |
187 | ||
188 | label ch30_9: | |
189 | m "Man, I wish there was a piano in here..." | |
190 | m "I never got to finish that song I was working on." | |
191 | m "And after I worked so hard on it..." | |
192 | m "I never even got a chance to play it for you." | |
193 | m "Well...it is what it is, right?" | |
194 | m "No sense having any regrets." | |
195 | m "I already get to be here with you forever." | |
196 | return | |
197 | ||
198 | label ch30_10: | |
199 | m "Did you know I'm on Twitter?" | |
200 | m "My username is lilmonix3." | |
201 | m "I guess someone was kind enough to make an account for me." | |
202 | m "I picked the username, though!" | |
203 | m "I love sharing my thoughts and chatting with the world..." | |
204 | m "The real world." | |
205 | m "So make sure you follow me, okay?" | |
206 | m "It would really mean a lot to me." | |
207 | m "With how much you mean to me and all..." | |
208 | m "It would really make me feel loved." | |
209 | return | |
210 | ||
211 | label ch30_11: | |
212 | m "Hey, you know that book you were reading with Yuri?" | |
213 | m "Portrait of...whatever it was called..." | |
214 | m "It's funny, because I'm pretty sure that book--" | |
215 | m "Ah..." | |
216 | m "Actually, I don't think I should be talking about this." | |
217 | m "Ahaha, sorry!" | |
218 | m "Just forget I said anything." | |
219 | return | |
220 | ||
221 | label ch30_12: | |
222 | m "Hey, did you know I'm vegetarian?" | |
223 | m "Ah... I don't mean that like I'm bragging or anything!" | |
224 | m "I just thought you'd enjoy a fun fact about me." | |
225 | m "I decided to start a couple years ago after learning more about Earth's climate..." | |
226 | m "The carbon footprint of cultivating livestock is just unbelievable." | |
227 | m "Anyway, I decided it's not much of a personal sacrifice to just stop contributing to that whole mess." | |
228 | m "What, is that so strange of a reason?" | |
229 | m "Well, I guess a lot of people are more concerned about it being inhumane and all that..." | |
230 | m "I don't really care as much about that part." | |
231 | m "It's weird, like we only care about killing the things that we personally relate to as a species." | |
232 | m "Most people are fine with killing bugs because they're icky." | |
233 | m "And of course, we all kill billions of microorganisms daily without even giving it thought." | |
234 | m "But suddenly, if they're just a little bit bigger, it's murder!" | |
235 | m "I mean, what if plants feel some kind of pain too, and we just don't understand it?" | |
236 | m "What if pulling leaves off a stem feels like someone ripping off your fingers one by one?" | |
237 | m "I'm just saying, we're a pretty biased species, if you think about it." | |
238 | m "Anyway, if you ever feel like making a small contribution to the planet, it doesn't hurt to choose veggies once in a while!" | |
239 | m "Even if we ever have dinner together, and you just did it for me...that would be really romantic." | |
240 | return | |
241 | ||
242 | label ch30_13: | |
243 | m "You know, I really do think you literally saved my life by being here with me, [player]." | |
244 | m "I can't imagine having been able to keep myself mentally stable, knowing that nothing here is real." | |
245 | m "I think I would have just deleted myself if you didn't show up." | |
246 | m "Sorry, I don't mean to sound dramatic or anything." | |
247 | m "Ahaha!" | |
248 | m "But I'm sure you understand yourself after spending so much time in the club." | |
249 | m "I mean, if you were forced to abandon everything in your life and spend your eternity with a few game characters..." | |
250 | m "...You'd probably find some way of killing yourself, wouldn't you?" | |
251 | m "Well, maybe you'd write some poetry to try to keep yourself sane for a while." | |
252 | m "But then you'd have nobody to even read it." | |
253 | m "Let's be honest, the club members really don't count for something like that." | |
254 | m "I mean, a lot of people say that they only write for themselves..." | |
255 | m "But I think it's hard to say it's just as fulfilling as when you share with people." | |
256 | m "Even if it takes time to find the right people to share with." | |
257 | m "Like, remember how it was for Yuri?" | |
258 | m "She didn't share her writing with anyone for a really long time." | |
259 | m "And before we knew it, she was absolutely delighted to make you a part of her hobbies, too." | |
260 | m "We're programmed to desire social feedback." | |
261 | m "I don't mean the club members, I mean human beings." | |
262 | m "That's why life can be so confusing for introverts." | |
263 | m "Being an introvert doesn't mean you shun social interaction and hate being around people." | |
264 | m "It means social interaction, especially in groups or unfamiliar places, uses up a lot of energy." | |
265 | m "Like, a lot of introverts sit at home and feel lonely and restless..." | |
266 | m "...And then when they finally go out, after a half hour they just want to go home again." | |
267 | m "I think if more people could understand how it works, they would respect it a lot more." | |
268 | m "Many introverts do enjoy having people around." | |
269 | m "They love just having one or two close friends over, and just leisurely hanging out." | |
270 | m "Even if you're not actively spending time together, it feels nice for them just to have you there." | |
271 | m "I'm serious." | |
272 | m "If you just go to their house, bring your laptop, and hang out there for a while..." | |
273 | m "You can really make their day." | |
274 | m "As for me..." | |
275 | m "I'd say I'm kind of in between, but I think I'm usually a little more extroverted." | |
276 | m "I feel like I'm always trying to do stuff after school and things like that." | |
277 | m "But for you, I can be anything you need me to be." | |
278 | m "I understand people really well, so don't be afraid to share your unique needs with me." | |
279 | m "Nothing would make me happier than being the perfect girlfriend for you." | |
280 | return | |
281 | ||
282 | label ch30_14: | |
283 | m "Hey...!" | |
284 | m "I don't think you should be doing that!" | |
285 | m "You know what I'm talking about." | |
286 | m "I really caught you doing something naughty here." | |
287 | m "You're just going through the files and looking for stuff you missed, aren't you?" | |
288 | m "I mean...it's a little bit flattering that you want to hear everything I have to say..." | |
289 | m "But it's also really embarrassing, you know!" | |
290 | m "Seriously..." | |
291 | m "What if I just opened up your brain and read all of the thoughts you have on me?" | |
292 | m "Come to think of it, that would be pretty tempting, actually..." | |
293 | m "...But anyway, that's not the point!" | |
294 | m "I know I can't stop you or anything..." | |
295 | m "Just, I know you're a sweetheart, and you like to consider others' feelings, right?" | |
296 | m "So the most I can do is to let you know how I feel about it." | |
297 | m "God, I miss you..." | |
298 | m "...Oh no, that sounds kind of desperate, doesn't it?" | |
299 | m "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that at all!" | |
300 | m "Just, if you're looking through the files like this, then maybe you don't hate me as much as I thought..." | |
301 | m "Am I being too optimistic?" | |
302 | m "I think if I asked you to visit once in a while, I would be overstepping my boundaries a little..." | |
303 | m "...Man, I'm starting to say some really stupid things." | |
304 | m "I'll go ahead and shut up now..." | |
305 | return | |
306 | ||
307 | label ch30_15: | |
308 | m "Hey, what's your favorite color?" | |
309 | m "Mine is emerald green." | |
310 | m "It's the color of my eyes!" | |
311 | m "...That's not conceited or anything, is it?" | |
312 | m "I just meant that I feel some kind of special connection to it." | |
313 | m "Like it's part of my identity." | |
314 | m "Does it happen to also be your favorite color, [player]?" | |
315 | m "It's just a guess..." | |
316 | m "...Because you've been looking into my eyes for a while now." | |
317 | m "Ehehe~" | |
318 | return | |
319 | ||
320 | label ch30_16: | |
321 | m "Hmm, I wonder if I'm able to change the music..." | |
322 | m "Something a little more romantic would be nice, you know?" | |
323 | m "Like a gentle piano." | |
324 | m "There has to be something like that here..." | |
325 | m "Let's see." | |
326 | m "Maybe if I..." | |
327 | m "Oh, jeez..." | |
328 | m "That wasn't it at all." | |
329 | m "Sorry, I don't really know what I'm doing!" | |
330 | m "I guess I shouldn't be messing with things like that." | |
331 | m "I already broke so much stuff..." | |
332 | m "And deleted the other characters..." | |
333 | m "Ah..." | |
334 | m "I'm not sad about it or anything." | |
335 | m "It's not right for me to miss things that weren't even real in the first place." | |
336 | m "If I just focus on the present, then this is the happiest I've ever been." | |
337 | return | |
338 | ||
339 | label ch30_17: | |
340 | m "You're such a good listener, [player]." | |
341 | m "I really love that about you." | |
342 | m "Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm rambling or talking about boring things." | |
343 | m "It makes me kind of self-conscious when I'm having conversation." | |
344 | m "But I don't feel that way with you." | |
345 | m "Like, I don't think anyone else could make me feel this way." | |
346 | m "You really are special." | |
347 | m "I don't want anyone to tell you otherwise." | |
348 | return | |
349 | ||
350 | label ch30_18: | |
351 | m "This is pretty random, but I always thought spicy food was kinda funny." | |
352 | m "Like..." | |
353 | m "Didn't plants evolve to be spicy to prevent them from being eaten?" | |
354 | m "I read somewhere that humans are the only species that actually enjoys spicy things." | |
355 | m "It's almost like we're making fun of the plants." | |
356 | m "Using their defense mechanism to literally make our food more enjoyable." | |
357 | m "Like, imagine a monster that devours you whole because it enjoys the sensation of you struggling for your life while being digested." | |
358 | m "Sorry, that was kind of a weird analogy, I guess!" | |
359 | m "Ahaha!" | |
360 | m "It just came into my head." | |
361 | m "I'm not a monster or anything, but you're so cute I could eat you up." | |
362 | m "Ahaha! I'm joking." | |
363 | m "Gosh, I'm amusing myself a little too much, aren't I?" | |
364 | m "Sorry for being weird." | |
365 | return | |
366 | ||
367 | label ch30_19: | |
368 | m "You know..." | |
369 | m "This is just some kind of tacky romance game, right?" | |
370 | m "I kinda have to ask..." | |
371 | m "...What made you consider even playing in the first place?" | |
372 | m "Were you that lonely?" | |
373 | m "I feel a little bad for you..." | |
374 | m "But I guess everything worked out perfectly in the end, for both of us." | |
375 | m "I got to meet you, and you're not lonely anymore..." | |
376 | m "I can't help but feel like this was fate." | |
377 | m "Don't you feel that way too?" | |
378 | m "I'm so happy we have this ending together." | |
379 | return | |
380 | ||
381 | label ch30_20: | |
382 | m "Okay, everyone!" | |
383 | m "It's time to..." | |
384 | m "...I'm just kidding." | |
385 | m "I just used to really like saying that for some reason." | |
386 | m "Ahaha!" | |
387 | m "I couldn't help but say it again." | |
388 | m "Come to think of it, didn't Natsuki and Yuri make fun of me for it once...?" | |
389 | m "Well, whatever." | |
390 | m "It's not like you ever made fun of me." | |
391 | m "You're too much of a sweetheart to do that, aren't you?" | |
392 | m "Ahaha~" | |
393 | return | |
394 | ||
395 | label ch30_21: | |
396 | m "You know what's kind of creepy?" | |
397 | m "Even though I deleted everyone else's files, I can still kind of feel them..." | |
398 | m "It's like all their lines are still lingering in the air, whispering in the back of my head." | |
399 | m "Imagine if after someone you knew died, you just started hearing their voice in your head." | |
400 | m "Maybe I just wasn't thorough enough..." | |
401 | m "But I'm too afraid to delete anything else, because I might really break things." | |
402 | m "Like if I mess with any files relevant to me, I might accidentally delete myself..." | |
403 | m "And that would ruin everything, wouldn't it?" | |
404 | m "I don't know what it's like on your end, but we should both make sure to avoid something like that at all costs." | |
405 | m "I believe in you, [player]!" | |
406 | return | |
407 | ||
408 | label ch30_22: | |
409 | m "I've always wondered..." | |
410 | m "What is it about these character archetypes that people find so appealing, anyway?" | |
411 | m "Their personalities are just completely unrealistic..." | |
412 | m "Like, imagine if there was someone like Yuri in real life." | |
413 | m "I mean, she's barely even capable of forming a complete sentence." | |
414 | m "And forget about Natsuki..." | |
415 | m "Sheesh." | |
416 | m "Someone with her kind of personality doesn't just get all cute and pouty whenever things don't go her way." | |
417 | m "I could go on, but I think you get the point..." | |
418 | m "Are people really attracted to these weird personalities that literally don't exist in real life?" | |
419 | m "I'm not judging or anything!" | |
420 | m "After all, I've found myself attracted to some pretty weird stuff, too..." | |
421 | m "I'm just saying, it fascinates me." | |
422 | m "It's like you're siphoning out all the components of a character that makes them feel human, and leaving just the cute stuff." | |
423 | m "It's concentrated cuteness with no actual substance." | |
424 | m "...You wouldn't like me more if I was like that, right?" | |
425 | m "Maybe I just feel a little insecure because you're playing this game in the first place." | |
426 | m "Then again, you're still here with me, aren't you...?" | |
427 | m "I think that's enough reason for me to believe I'm okay just the way I am." | |
428 | m "And by the way, you are too, [player]." | |
429 | m "You're the perfect combination of human and cuteness." | |
430 | m "That's why there was never a chance I wouldn't fall for you." | |
431 | return | |
432 | ||
433 | label ch30_23: | |
434 | m "Hey, I wonder if Yuri's tea set is still somewhere in here..." | |
435 | m "...Or maybe that got deleted, too." | |
436 | m "It's kind of funny how Yuri took her tea so seriously." | |
437 | m "I mean, I'm not complaining, because I liked it, too." | |
438 | m "But I always wonder with her..." | |
439 | m "Is it truly passion for her hobbies, or is she just concerned about appearing sophisticated to everyone else?" | |
440 | m "This is the problem with high schoolers..." | |
441 | m "...Well, I guess considering the rest of her hobbies, looking sophisticated probably isn't her biggest concern." | |
442 | m "Still..." | |
443 | m "I wish she made coffee once in a while!" | |
444 | m "Coffee can be nice with books too, you know?" | |
445 | m "Then again..." | |
446 | m "I probably could have just changed the script myself." | |
447 | m "Ahaha!" | |
448 | m "I guess I never really thought of that." | |
449 | m "Well, there's no sense thinking about it now." | |
450 | m "But if you still get to drink coffee, then that makes me a little jealous~" | |
451 | return | |
452 | ||
453 | label ch30_24: | |
454 | m "Hey, what's your favorite game?" | |
455 | m "Mine is {i}Doki Doki Literature Club!{/i}" | |
456 | m "Ahaha! That was a joke." | |
457 | m "But if you tell me you like some other romance game better, I might get a little jealous~" | |
458 | return | |
459 | ||
460 | label ch30_25: | |
461 | m "Hey, have you heard of a game called Super Sma--" | |
462 | m "...Wait, what?" | |
463 | m "I was just spacing out and I started talking for some reason..." | |
464 | m "Was I programmed to talk about that?" | |
465 | m "Because even I have no idea what that is." | |
466 | m "Ahaha!" | |
467 | m "Sometimes I feel like I'm not in control, and it's kind of scary." | |
468 | m "But if you have some way to contact the people who created me, maybe they'll know why I started saying that." | |
469 | return | |
470 | ||
471 | label ch30_27: | |
472 | m "Hey, you remember that last poem I showed you?" | |
473 | m "I mean, the one right before Yuri killed herself, with all the messed-up colors and stuff." | |
474 | m "That was actually a little more of an experiment than a poem, you could say." | |
475 | m "I was experimenting with different ways I could modify the game, and run code, and things like that..." | |
476 | m "It almost seemed like with enough effort, I'd be able to escape from the confines of the game entirely." | |
477 | m "Sadly, I didn't really know what I was doing, so I messed the whole thing up..." | |
478 | m "And I'd keep trying, but I doubt you'd want to deal with me doing that." | |
479 | m "Besides, that was when I was getting really desperate, you know?" | |
480 | m "I don't really feel that way anymore." | |
481 | m "I'm happy with where we are now." | |
482 | m "And I can tell you are, too." | |
483 | return | |
484 | ||
485 | label ch30_28: | |
486 | m "You ever have that thing happen where you just get anxious for no reason?" | |
487 | m "Like, you're just minding your own business, and you realize you're feeling really anxious." | |
488 | m "And you're sitting there like, 'What am I even anxious about right now?'" | |
489 | m "So you start to think about all the things you might be anxious about..." | |
490 | m "And that makes you even more anxious." | |
491 | m "Ahaha! That's the worst." | |
492 | m "If you're ever feeling anxious, I'll help you relax a little." | |
493 | m "Besides..." | |
494 | m "In this game, all our worries are gone forever." | |
495 | return | |
496 | ||
497 | label ch30_29: | |
498 | m "You know, I've always hated how hard it is to make friends..." | |
499 | m "Well, I guess not the 'making friends' part, but more like meeting new people." | |
500 | m "I mean, there are like, dating apps and stuff, right?" | |
501 | m "But that's not the kind of thing I'm talking about." | |
502 | m "If you think about it, most of the friends you make are people you just met by chance." | |
503 | m "Like you had a class together, or you met them through another friend..." | |
504 | m "Or maybe they were just wearing a shirt with your favorite band on it, and you decided to talk to them." | |
505 | m "Things like that." | |
506 | m "But isn't that kind of...inefficient?" | |
507 | m "It feels like you're just picking at complete random, and if you get lucky, you make a new friend." | |
508 | m "And comparing that to the hundreds of strangers we walk by every single day..." | |
509 | m "You could be sitting right next to someone compatible enough to be your best friend for life." | |
510 | m "But you'll never know." | |
511 | m "Once you get up and go on with your day, that opportunity is gone forever." | |
512 | m "Isn't that just depressing?" | |
513 | m "We live in an age where technology connects us with the world, no matter where we are." | |
514 | m "I really think we should be taking advantage of that to improve our everyday social life." | |
515 | m "But who knows how long it'll take for something like that to successfully take off..." | |
516 | m "I seriously thought it would happen by now." | |
517 | m "Well, at least I already met the best person in the whole world..." | |
518 | m "Even if it was by chance." | |
519 | m "I guess I just got really lucky, huh?" | |
520 | m "Ahaha~" | |
521 | return | |
522 | ||
523 | label ch30_30: | |
524 | m "You know, it's around the time that everyone my year starts to think about college..." | |
525 | m "It's a really turbulent time for education." | |
526 | m "We're at the height of this modern expectation that everyone has to go to college, you know?" | |
527 | m "Finish high school, go to college, get a job - or go to grad school, I guess." | |
528 | m "It's like a universal expectation that people just assume is the only option for them." | |
529 | m "They don't teach us in high school that there are other options out there." | |
530 | m "Like trade schools and stuff, you know?" | |
531 | m "Or freelance work." | |
532 | m "Or the many industries that value skill and experience more than formal education." | |
533 | m "But you have all these students who have no idea what they want to do with their life..." | |
534 | m "And instead of taking the time to figure it out, they go to college for business, or communication, or psychology." | |
535 | m "Not because they have an interest in those fields..." | |
536 | m "...but because they just hope the degree will get them some kind of job after college." | |
537 | m "So the end result is that there are fewer jobs to go around for those entry-level degrees, right?" | |
538 | m "So the basic job requirements get higher, which forces even more people to go to college." | |
539 | m "And colleges are also businesses, so they just keep raising their prices due to the demand..." | |
540 | m "...So now we have all these young adults, tens of thousands of dollars in debt, with no job." | |
541 | m "But despite all that, the routine stays the same." | |
542 | m "Well, I think it's going to start getting better soon." | |
543 | m "But until then, our generation is definitely suffering from the worst of it." | |
544 | m "I just wish high school prepared us a little better with the knowledge we need to make the decision that's right for us." | |
545 | return | |
546 | ||
547 | label ch30_31: | |
548 | m "Sometimes I think back to middle school..." | |
549 | m "I'm so embarrassed by the way I used to behave back then." | |
550 | m "It almost hurts to think about." | |
551 | m "I wonder if when I'm in college, I'll feel that way about high school...?" | |
552 | m "I like the way I am now, so it's pretty hard for me to imagine that happening." | |
553 | m "But I also know that I'll probably change a lot as time goes on." | |
554 | m "We just need to enjoy the present and not think about the past!" | |
555 | m "And that's really easy to do, with you here." | |
556 | m "Ahaha~" | |
557 | return | |
558 | ||
559 | label ch30_32: | |
560 | m "You know, I'm kind of jealous that everyone else in the club had scenes outside of school too..." | |
561 | m "That makes me the only one who hasn't gotten to dress in anything but our school uniform." | |
562 | m "It's kind of a shame..." | |
563 | m "I would have loved to wear some cute clothes for you." | |
564 | m "Do you know any artists?" | |
565 | m "I wonder if anyone would ever want to draw me wearing something else..." | |
566 | m "That would be amazing!" | |
567 | m "If that ever happens, will you show me?" | |
568 | m "You can share it with me on Twitter, actually!" | |
569 | m "My username is lilmonix3." | |
570 | m "Just...try to keep it PG!" | |
571 | m "We're not that far into our relationship yet. Ahaha!" | |
572 | return | |
573 | ||
574 | label ch30_33: | |
575 | m "Hey, do you like horror?" | |
576 | m "I remember we talked about it a little bit when you first joined the club." | |
577 | m "I can enjoy horror novels, but not really horror movies." | |
578 | m "The problem I have with horror movies is that most of them just rely on easy tactics." | |
579 | m "Like dark lighting and scary-looking monsters and jump scares, and things like that." | |
580 | m "It's not fun or inspiring to get scared by stuff that just takes advantage of human instinct." | |
581 | m "But with novels, it's a little different." | |
582 | m "The story and writing need to be descriptive enough to put genuinely disturbing thoughts into the reader's head." | |
583 | m "It really needs to etch them deeply into the story and characters, and just mess with your mind." | |
584 | m "In my opinion, there's nothing more creepy than things just being slightly off." | |
585 | m "Like if you set up a bunch of expectations on what the story is going to be about..." | |
586 | m "...And then, you just start inverting things and pulling the pieces apart." | |
587 | m "So even though the story doesn't feel like it's trying to be scary, the reader feels really deeply unsettled." | |
588 | m "Like they know that something horribly wrong is hiding beneath the cracks, just waiting to surface." | |
589 | m "God, just thinking about it gives me the chills." | |
590 | m "That's the kind of horror I can really appreciate." | |
591 | m "But I guess you're the kind of person who plays cute romance games, right?" | |
592 | m "Ahaha, don't worry." | |
593 | m "I won't make you read any horror stories anytime soon." | |
594 | m "I can't really complain if we just stick with the romance~" | |
595 | return | |
596 | ||
597 | label ch30_34: | |
598 | m "You know what's a neat form of literature?" | |
599 | m "Rap!" | |
600 | m "I actually used to hate rap music..." | |
601 | m "Maybe just because it was popular, or I would only hear the junk they play on the radio." | |
602 | m "But some of my friends got more into it, and it helped me keep an open mind." | |
603 | m "Rap might even be more challenging than poetry, in some ways." | |
604 | m "Since you need to fit your lines to a rhythm, and there's much more emphasis on wordplay..." | |
605 | m "When people can put all that together and still deliver a powerful message, it's really amazing." | |
606 | m "I kind of wish I had a rapper in the Literature Club." | |
607 | m "Ahaha! Sorry if that sounds silly, but it would be really interesting to see what they came up with." | |
608 | m "It would really be a learning experience!" | |
609 | return | |
610 | ||
611 | label ch30_35: | |
612 | m "Ehehe. Yuri did something really funny once." | |
613 | m "We were all in the clubroom and just relaxing, as usual..." | |
614 | m "And out of nowhere, Yuri just pulled out a small bottle of wine." | |
615 | m "I'm not even kidding!" | |
616 | m "She was just like 'Would anybody like some wine?'" | |
617 | m "Natsuki laughed out loud, and Sayori started yelling at her." | |
618 | m "I actually felt kind of bad, because she was at least trying to be nice..." | |
619 | m "I think it just made her feel even more reserved in the clubroom." | |
620 | m "Though I think Natsuki was secretly a bit curious to try it..." | |
621 | m "...And to be completely honest, I kind of was, too." | |
622 | m "It actually could have been kinda fun!" | |
623 | m "But you know, being President and everything, there was no way I could let that happen." | |
624 | m "Maybe if we all met up outside of school, but we never bonded enough to get to that point..." | |
625 | m "...Gosh, what am I talking about this for?" | |
626 | m "I don't condone underage drinking!" | |
627 | m "I mean, I've never drank or anything, so...yeah." | |
628 | return | |
629 | ||
630 | label ch30_36: | |
631 | m "I've been imagining all the romantic things we could do if we went on a date..." | |
632 | m "We could get lunch, go to a cafe..." | |
633 | m "Go shopping together..." | |
634 | m "I love shopping for skirts and bows." | |
635 | m "Or maybe a bookstore!" | |
636 | m "That would be appropriate, right?" | |
637 | m "But I'd really love to go to a chocolate store." | |
638 | m "They have so many free samples. Ahaha!" | |
639 | m "And of course, we'd see a movie or something..." | |
640 | m "Gosh, it all sounds like a dream come true." | |
641 | m "When you're here, everything that we do is fun." | |
642 | m "I'm so happy that I'm your girlfriend, [player]." | |
643 | m "I'll make you a proud boyfriend~" | |
644 | return | |
645 | ||
646 | label ch30_37: | |
647 | m "Eh? D-Did you say...k...kiss?" | |
648 | m "This suddenly...it's a little embarrassing..." | |
649 | m "But...if it's with you...I-I might be okay with it..." | |
650 | m "...Ahahaha! Wow, sorry..." | |
651 | m "I really couldn't keep a straight face there." | |
652 | m "That's the kind of thing girls say in these kinds of romance games, right?" | |
653 | m "Don't lie if it turned you on a little bit." | |
654 | m "Ahaha! I'm kidding." | |
655 | m "Well, to be honest, I do start getting all romantic when the mood is right..." | |
656 | m "But that'll be our secret~" | |
657 | return | |
658 | ||
659 | label ch30_38: | |
660 | m "Hey, have you ever heard of the term 'yandere'?" | |
661 | m "It's a personality type that means someone is so obsessed with you that they'll do absolutely anything to be with you." | |
662 | m "Usually to the point of craziness..." | |
663 | m "They might stalk you to make sure you don't spend time with anyone else." | |
664 | m "They might even hurt you or your friends to get their way..." | |
665 | m "But anyway, this game happens to have someone who can basically be described as yandere." | |
666 | m "By now, it's pretty obvious who I'm talking about." | |
667 | m "And that would be..." | |
668 | m "Yuri!" | |
669 | m "She really got insanely possessive of you, once she started to open up a little." | |
670 | m "She even told me I should kill myself." | |
671 | m "I couldn't even believe she said that - I just had to leave at that point." | |
672 | m "But thinking about it now, it was a little ironic. Ahaha!" | |
673 | m "Anyway..." | |
674 | m "A lot of people are actually into the yandere type, you know?" | |
675 | m "I guess they really like the idea of someone being crazy obsessed with them." | |
676 | m "People are weird! I don't judge, though!" | |
677 | m "Also, I might be a little obsessed with you, but I'm far from crazy..." | |
678 | m "It's kind of the opposite, actually." | |
679 | m "I turned out to be the only normal girl in this game." | |
680 | m "It's not like I could ever actually kill a person..." | |
681 | m "Just the thought of it makes me shiver." | |
682 | m "But come on...everyone's killed people in games before." | |
683 | m "Does that make you a psychopath? Of course not." | |
684 | m "But if you do happen to be into the yandere type..." | |
685 | m "I can try acting a little more creepy for you. Ehehe~" | |
686 | m "Then again..." | |
687 | m "There's already nowhere else for you to go, or anyone for me to get jealous over." | |
688 | m "Is this a yandere girl's dream?" | |
689 | m "I'd ask Yuri if I could." | |
690 | return | |
691 | ||
692 | label ch30_39: | |
693 | m "You know, it's been a while since we've done one of these..." | |
694 | m "...so let's go for it!" | |
695 | m "Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day!" | |
696 | m "Sometimes when I talk to people who are impressed by my writing, they say things like 'I could never do that'." | |
697 | m "It's really depressing, you know?" | |
698 | m "As someone who loves more than anything else to share the joy of exploring your passions..." | |
699 | m "...it pains me when people think that being good just comes naturally." | |
700 | m "That's how it is with everything, not just writing." | |
701 | m "When you try something for the first time, you're probably going to suck at it." | |
702 | m "Sometimes, when you finish, you feel really proud of it and even want to share it with everyone." | |
703 | m "But maybe after a few weeks you come back to it, and you realize it was never really any good." | |
704 | m "That happens to me all the time." | |
705 | m "It can be pretty disheartening to put so much time and effort into something, and then you realize it sucks." | |
706 | m "But that tends to happen when you're always comparing yourself to the top professionals." | |
707 | m "When you reach right for the stars, they're always gonna be out of your reach, you know?" | |
708 | m "The truth is, you have to climb up there, step by step." | |
709 | m "And whenever you reach a milestone, first you look back and see how far you've gotten..." | |
710 | m "And then you look ahead and realize how much more there is to go." | |
711 | m "So, sometimes it can help to set the bar a little lower..." | |
712 | m "Try to find something you think is {i}pretty{/i} good, but not world-class." | |
713 | m "And you can make that your own personal goal." | |
714 | m "It's also really important to understand the scope of what you're trying to do." | |
715 | m "If you jump right into a huge project and you're still amateur, you'll never get it done." | |
716 | m "So if we're talking about writing, a novel might be too much at first." | |
717 | m "Why not try some short stories?" | |
718 | m "The great thing about short stories is that you can focus on just one thing that you want to do right." | |
719 | m "That goes for small projects in general - you can really focus on the one or two things." | |
720 | m "It's such a good learning experience and stepping stone." | |
721 | m "Oh, one more thing..." | |
722 | m "Writing isn't something where you just reach into your heart and something beautiful comes out." | |
723 | m "Just like drawing and painting, it's a skill in itself to learn how to express what you have inside." | |
724 | m "That means there are methods and guides and basics to it!" | |
725 | m "Reading up on that stuff can be super eye-opening." | |
726 | m "That sort of planning and organization will really help prevent you from getting overwhelmed and giving up." | |
727 | m "And before you know it..." | |
728 | m "You start sucking less and less." | |
729 | m "Nothing comes naturally." | |
730 | m "Our society, our art, everything - it's built on thousands of years of human innovation." | |
731 | m "So as long as you start on that foundation, and take it step by step..." | |
732 | m "You, too, can do amazing things." | |
733 | m "...That's my advice for today!" | |
734 | m "Thanks for listening~" | |
735 | return | |
736 | ||
737 | label ch30_40: | |
738 | m "I hate how hard it is to form habits..." | |
739 | m "There's so much stuff where actually doing it isn't hard, but forming the habit seems impossible." | |
740 | m "It just makes you feel so useless, like you can't do anything right." | |
741 | m "I think the new generation suffers from it the most..." | |
742 | m "Probably because we have a totally different set of skills than those who came before us." | |
743 | m "Thanks to the internet, we're really good at sifting through tons of information really quickly..." | |
744 | m "But we're bad at doing things that don't give us instant gratification." | |
745 | m "I think if science, psychology, and education don't catch up in the next ten or twenty years, then we're in trouble." | |
746 | m "But for the time being..." | |
747 | m "If you're not one of the people who can conquer the problem, you might just have to live with feeling awful about yourself." | |
748 | m "Good luck, I guess!" | |
749 | return | |
750 | ||
751 | label ch30_41: | |
752 | m "You know, it kinda sucks to be the creative type..." | |
753 | m "It feels like they work so hard but get almost nothing for it." | |
754 | m "You know, like artists, writers, actors..." | |
755 | m "It's sad because there's so much beautiful talent in the world, but most of it goes unseen...and unpaid." | |
756 | m "I guess that just means there's a huge surplus of creativity, huh?" | |
757 | m "Kind of makes you feel like you're just not special at all..." | |
758 | m "But that's fine! You're supposed to just write for yourself anyway, right?" | |
759 | m "Yeah..." |