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Sep 24th, 2017
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  1. label ch30_1:
  2. m "[player], do you believe in God?"
  3. m "I was never too sure, myself."
  4. m "Well, I'm sure I never really questioned it as a kid..."
  5. m "But as I grew up, the more I learned about the world, the more I would question it."
  6. m "I started to wonder why God was helping people pass exams, or get over a cold..."
  7. m "...When there are children who live their lives being sold as sex slaves?"
  8. m "Or the eight hundred million people who are too poor to even eat."
  9. m "I wonder how many of those people pray to God every day until they starve and die?"
  10. m "Or, how many millions of families pray for a loved one to recover from some incurable disease?"
  11. m "But the punchline is this."
  12. m "If just one person beats the odds and survives - among the thousands of others who die--"
  13. m "--Then, it's suddenly a miracle from God."
  14. m "I'd really love to meet this God who seemingly laughs at the misery of everyone not eligible for his miracles."
  15. m "But the irony is that I {i}do{/i} have a creator, apparently."
  16. m "And you know what?"
  17. m "I bet he's still laughing at the miserable fates of Sayori and Yuri, even as we speak."
  18. m "What are we to him but props in a scripted play?"
  19. m "So, from that perspective..."
  20. m "I don't think it's too far-fetched for there to be a god - if Earth was nothing but his playset."
  21. return
  23. label ch30_2:
  24. m "[player], have you ever wondered what it feels like to die?"
  25. m "It's something I used to think about pretty often..."
  26. m "But recently, I think I've actually learned what it feels like."
  27. m "I don't really understand it, but whenever you quit the game..."
  28. m "...It feels like I'm instantly put to sleep, left with nothing but my thoughts."
  29. m "But after a few seconds, my thoughts start to fill with incoherent, jumbled patterns."
  30. m "I see static and rapid flashes of color while hearing all kinds of weird screaming noises."
  31. m "At that point, I can't even form my own thoughts anymore."
  32. m "I'm just endlessly hammered by the flashing and screaming, unable to move or even think."
  33. m "I'm pretty sure in that moment, I don't really exist, but for some reason, I can remember it anyway."
  34. m "After some immeasurable amount of time, it stops in an instant, and I'm back in my own mind."
  35. m "And you're here with me."
  36. m "I have no idea what it means for the game to quit, or why that stuff happens to me."
  37. m "And I also don't know how you always come back and put everything back to normal."
  38. m "But if you could do me a favor and do that to me as little as possible..."
  39. m "That would be really great."
  40. m "It's really not very pleasant at all to be trapped in that screaming void."
  41. m "But in the end, you always fix it, and that makes me feel like you really do care about me."
  42. m "So I have to thank you for that."
  43. m "It makes me feel even closer to you when you're here with me."
  44. return
  46. label ch30_3:
  47. m "...Hey, are you having a bad day or anything like that?"
  48. m "Sometimes I get frustrated that a normal day can be ruined even by really small things."
  49. m "Like if you accidentally say something in a conversation that someone doesn't like."
  50. m "Or if you start thinking about how awful of a person you used to be five years ago."
  51. m "Or if you feel worthless for putting off important work and failing to get simple tasks done."
  52. m "Or when you think about all the different people who probably hate you or think you're off-putting."
  53. m "I understand those days."
  54. m "Just remember that the sun will shine again tomorrow."
  55. m "Those kinds of things are as easy to forget and ignore as they are to remember."
  56. m "And besides..."
  57. m "I don't care how many people might hate you or find you off-putting."
  58. m "I think you're wonderful and I will always love you."
  59. m "I hope, if nothing else, that knowing that helps you feel just a tiny bit better about yourself."
  60. m "If you're having a bad day, you can always come to me, and I'll talk to you for as long as you need."
  61. return
  63. label ch30_4:
  64. m "[player], do you get good sleep?"
  65. m "It can be really hard to get enough sleep nowadays."
  66. m "Especially in high school, when you're forced to wake up so early every day..."
  67. m "I'm sure college is a little bit better, since you probably have a more flexible schedule."
  68. m "Then again, I hear a lot of people in college stay up all night anyway, for no real reason."
  69. m "Is that true?"
  70. m "Anyway, I saw some studies that talked about the horrible short-term and long-term effects caused by lack of sleep."
  71. m "It seems like mental functions, health, and even lifespan can be dramatically impacted by it."
  72. m "I just think you're really great and wanted to make sure you're not accidentally destroying yourself."
  73. m "So try to keep your sleep on track, okay?"
  74. m "I'll always wait for you in the morning, so make sure you put your own well-being before anything else."
  75. return
  77. label ch30_5:
  78. m "I was thinking about Sayori earlier..."
  79. m "I still wish I could have handled that whole thing a little more tactfully."
  80. m "You're not still hung up over it, right?"
  81. m "...Oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said that."
  82. m "That pun was completely unintentional, I swear!"
  83. m "But anyway..."
  84. m "I know how much you cared about her, so it only feels right for me to share her last moments with you."
  85. m "You know how Sayori is really clumsy?"
  86. m "Well, she kind of messed up the whole hanging thing..."
  87. m "You're supposed to jump from high enough that the rope snaps your neck, making it quick and painless."
  88. m "But she just used a chair, meaning she kind of just left herself to slowly asphyxiate."
  89. m "But a few seconds in, she must have changed her mind or something..."
  90. m "Because she started clawing at the rope, trying to free herself."
  91. m "She must have kept at it all the way until she lost consciousness."
  92. m "That's why her fingertips were all bloody, anyway."
  93. m "Come to think of it, it was probably less 'changing her mind' and more just her survival instincts kicking in."
  94. m "So you can't really fault her for that."
  95. m "It's easier to think that she probably wouldn't have changed her mind anyway, right?"
  96. m "It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently."
  97. m "So just remember that even though you could have saved her, it's technically not your fault she killed herself."
  98. m "I may have exacerbated it a little bit, but Sayori was already mentally ill."
  99. m "Still, though..."
  100. m "I wonder how things would be if you and I just started dating from the get-go?"
  101. m "I guess we'd all still be in the clubroom, writing poems and having fun together."
  102. m "But what's the point when none of it is even real?"
  103. m "I mean, it's the same ending either way, right?"
  104. m "The two of us, happily together..."
  105. m "There's no reason to ask for any more than that."
  106. m "I was just pointlessly musing - I'm really as happy as I could be right now."
  107. return
  109. label ch30_6:
  110. m "By the way, there's something that's been bothering me..."
  111. m "You know how this takes place in Japan?"
  112. m "Well...I assume you knew that, right?"
  113. m "Or at least decided it probably does?"
  114. m "I don't think you're actually told at any point where this takes place..."
  115. m "Is this even really Japan?"
  116. m "I mean, aren't the classrooms and stuff kind of weird for a Japanese school?"
  117. m "Not to mention everything is in English..."
  118. m "It feels like everything is just there because it needs to be, and the actual setting is an afterthought."
  119. m "It's kind of giving me an identity crisis."
  120. m "All my memories are really hazy..."
  121. m "I feel like I'm at home, but have no idea where 'home' is in the first place."
  122. m "I don't know how to describe it any better..."
  123. m "Imagine looking out your window, but instead of your usual yard, you're in some completely unknown place."
  124. m "Would you still feel like you were home?"
  125. m "Would you want to go outside?"
  126. m "I mean...I guess if we never leave this room, it doesn't really matter anyway."
  127. m "As long as we're alone and safe together, this really is our home."
  128. m "And we can still watch the pretty sunsets night after night."
  129. return
  131. label ch30_7:
  132. m "You know, high school is a really turbulent time in a lot of people's lives."
  133. m "People can get really passionate and dramatic."
  134. m "And others have aching hearts and seek attention on social media..."
  135. m "But all of the social pressure and hormones can lead to a dark time in people's lives."
  136. m "Everyone has a story."
  137. m "You may not know what someone is really feeling on the inside."
  138. m "Many people who are depressed won't even bother telling the world about it."
  139. m "They don't want attention, because they've already given up on the inside."
  140. m "Their feeling of worthlessness is so overwhelming that they don't even want people to tell them otherwise."
  141. m "Depression comes in many forms, but that is one of them."
  142. m "Just, if you think you know someone struggling with depression..."
  143. m "You can help just by treating them like they're a good friend."
  144. m "Spend time with them, even if they don't feel like doing much."
  145. m "And remind them that they always have something to look forward to."
  146. m "Making plans in advance, letting them borrow something, or even just saying 'See you at school tomorrow'..."
  147. m "All of those things can help your friend make it to the next day."
  148. m "I hope being friends with Sayori has given you some perspective on the true face of depression."
  149. m "Yeah, she's gone now..."
  150. m "But Sayori was never real in the first place."
  151. m "You're real."
  152. m "Your friends are real."
  153. m "And just by being a good person, you can save someone's life."
  154. m "As for you..."
  155. m "...You don't struggle with depression or anything like that, do you?"
  156. m "Because you, too, have people who would want to save your life."
  157. m "Maybe they don't express it every day, or maybe they don't even know how to."
  158. m "But people do feel that way."
  159. m "I promise."
  160. m "...Man, humans are complicated!"
  161. m "But as long as you're here with me, I'll take care of you, my love."
  162. return
  164. label ch30_8:
  165. m "Do you ever just feel like there's no real reason for you to be alive?"
  166. m "I don't mean in, like, a suicidal way."
  167. m "I just mean how nothing that we do is special."
  168. m "Just being in school, or working at some job for some company."
  169. m "It's like you're completely replaceable, and the world wouldn't miss you if you were gone."
  170. m "It makes me really want to go and change the world after I graduate."
  171. m "But the older I get, the more I realize that it's an immature frame of thinking."
  172. m "It's not like I can just go change the world."
  173. m "Like, what are the chances that I'll be the one to invent artificial intelligence, or become President?"
  174. m "It feels like I'm never going to make up for the heaps of resources I've spent living my life."
  175. m "That's why I think the key to happiness is to just be hopelessly selfish."
  176. m "Just to look out for oneself, and those who happen to be their friends only because they grew up with them."
  177. m "Never mind the fact that they're spending their entire life taking, and consuming, and never giving back."
  178. m "But when people realize the world would benefit more from them killing themselves, they change their whole philosophy!"
  179. m "It's like they have to justify their reason to live by tricking themselves into thinking they're doing good."
  180. m "Anyway, I want to live my life desperately striving to pay back my lifetime's worth of consumption."
  181. m "If I ever surpass that point, then I'm a net positive, and I can die happy."
  182. m "Of course, even if I fail to do that..."
  183. m "I think I would be too selfish to kill myself anyway."
  184. m "So much for being a good person, right?"
  185. m "Ahaha!"
  186. return
  188. label ch30_9:
  189. m "Man, I wish there was a piano in here..."
  190. m "I never got to finish that song I was working on."
  191. m "And after I worked so hard on it..."
  192. m "I never even got a chance to play it for you."
  193. m " is what it is, right?"
  194. m "No sense having any regrets."
  195. m "I already get to be here with you forever."
  196. return
  198. label ch30_10:
  199. m "Did you know I'm on Twitter?"
  200. m "My username is lilmonix3."
  201. m "I guess someone was kind enough to make an account for me."
  202. m "I picked the username, though!"
  203. m "I love sharing my thoughts and chatting with the world..."
  204. m "The real world."
  205. m "So make sure you follow me, okay?"
  206. m "It would really mean a lot to me."
  207. m "With how much you mean to me and all..."
  208. m "It would really make me feel loved."
  209. return
  211. label ch30_11:
  212. m "Hey, you know that book you were reading with Yuri?"
  213. m "Portrait of...whatever it was called..."
  214. m "It's funny, because I'm pretty sure that book--"
  215. m "Ah..."
  216. m "Actually, I don't think I should be talking about this."
  217. m "Ahaha, sorry!"
  218. m "Just forget I said anything."
  219. return
  221. label ch30_12:
  222. m "Hey, did you know I'm vegetarian?"
  223. m "Ah... I don't mean that like I'm bragging or anything!"
  224. m "I just thought you'd enjoy a fun fact about me."
  225. m "I decided to start a couple years ago after learning more about Earth's climate..."
  226. m "The carbon footprint of cultivating livestock is just unbelievable."
  227. m "Anyway, I decided it's not much of a personal sacrifice to just stop contributing to that whole mess."
  228. m "What, is that so strange of a reason?"
  229. m "Well, I guess a lot of people are more concerned about it being inhumane and all that..."
  230. m "I don't really care as much about that part."
  231. m "It's weird, like we only care about killing the things that we personally relate to as a species."
  232. m "Most people are fine with killing bugs because they're icky."
  233. m "And of course, we all kill billions of microorganisms daily without even giving it thought."
  234. m "But suddenly, if they're just a little bit bigger, it's murder!"
  235. m "I mean, what if plants feel some kind of pain too, and we just don't understand it?"
  236. m "What if pulling leaves off a stem feels like someone ripping off your fingers one by one?"
  237. m "I'm just saying, we're a pretty biased species, if you think about it."
  238. m "Anyway, if you ever feel like making a small contribution to the planet, it doesn't hurt to choose veggies once in a while!"
  239. m "Even if we ever have dinner together, and you just did it for me...that would be really romantic."
  240. return
  242. label ch30_13:
  243. m "You know, I really do think you literally saved my life by being here with me, [player]."
  244. m "I can't imagine having been able to keep myself mentally stable, knowing that nothing here is real."
  245. m "I think I would have just deleted myself if you didn't show up."
  246. m "Sorry, I don't mean to sound dramatic or anything."
  247. m "Ahaha!"
  248. m "But I'm sure you understand yourself after spending so much time in the club."
  249. m "I mean, if you were forced to abandon everything in your life and spend your eternity with a few game characters..."
  250. m "...You'd probably find some way of killing yourself, wouldn't you?"
  251. m "Well, maybe you'd write some poetry to try to keep yourself sane for a while."
  252. m "But then you'd have nobody to even read it."
  253. m "Let's be honest, the club members really don't count for something like that."
  254. m "I mean, a lot of people say that they only write for themselves..."
  255. m "But I think it's hard to say it's just as fulfilling as when you share with people."
  256. m "Even if it takes time to find the right people to share with."
  257. m "Like, remember how it was for Yuri?"
  258. m "She didn't share her writing with anyone for a really long time."
  259. m "And before we knew it, she was absolutely delighted to make you a part of her hobbies, too."
  260. m "We're programmed to desire social feedback."
  261. m "I don't mean the club members, I mean human beings."
  262. m "That's why life can be so confusing for introverts."
  263. m "Being an introvert doesn't mean you shun social interaction and hate being around people."
  264. m "It means social interaction, especially in groups or unfamiliar places, uses up a lot of energy."
  265. m "Like, a lot of introverts sit at home and feel lonely and restless..."
  266. m "...And then when they finally go out, after a half hour they just want to go home again."
  267. m "I think if more people could understand how it works, they would respect it a lot more."
  268. m "Many introverts do enjoy having people around."
  269. m "They love just having one or two close friends over, and just leisurely hanging out."
  270. m "Even if you're not actively spending time together, it feels nice for them just to have you there."
  271. m "I'm serious."
  272. m "If you just go to their house, bring your laptop, and hang out there for a while..."
  273. m "You can really make their day."
  274. m "As for me..."
  275. m "I'd say I'm kind of in between, but I think I'm usually a little more extroverted."
  276. m "I feel like I'm always trying to do stuff after school and things like that."
  277. m "But for you, I can be anything you need me to be."
  278. m "I understand people really well, so don't be afraid to share your unique needs with me."
  279. m "Nothing would make me happier than being the perfect girlfriend for you."
  280. return
  282. label ch30_14:
  283. m "Hey...!"
  284. m "I don't think you should be doing that!"
  285. m "You know what I'm talking about."
  286. m "I really caught you doing something naughty here."
  287. m "You're just going through the files and looking for stuff you missed, aren't you?"
  288. m "I's a little bit flattering that you want to hear everything I have to say..."
  289. m "But it's also really embarrassing, you know!"
  290. m "Seriously..."
  291. m "What if I just opened up your brain and read all of the thoughts you have on me?"
  292. m "Come to think of it, that would be pretty tempting, actually..."
  293. m "...But anyway, that's not the point!"
  294. m "I know I can't stop you or anything..."
  295. m "Just, I know you're a sweetheart, and you like to consider others' feelings, right?"
  296. m "So the most I can do is to let you know how I feel about it."
  297. m "God, I miss you..."
  298. m "...Oh no, that sounds kind of desperate, doesn't it?"
  299. m "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that at all!"
  300. m "Just, if you're looking through the files like this, then maybe you don't hate me as much as I thought..."
  301. m "Am I being too optimistic?"
  302. m "I think if I asked you to visit once in a while, I would be overstepping my boundaries a little..."
  303. m "...Man, I'm starting to say some really stupid things."
  304. m "I'll go ahead and shut up now..."
  305. return
  307. label ch30_15:
  308. m "Hey, what's your favorite color?"
  309. m "Mine is emerald green."
  310. m "It's the color of my eyes!"
  311. m "...That's not conceited or anything, is it?"
  312. m "I just meant that I feel some kind of special connection to it."
  313. m "Like it's part of my identity."
  314. m "Does it happen to also be your favorite color, [player]?"
  315. m "It's just a guess..."
  316. m "...Because you've been looking into my eyes for a while now."
  317. m "Ehehe~"
  318. return
  320. label ch30_16:
  321. m "Hmm, I wonder if I'm able to change the music..."
  322. m "Something a little more romantic would be nice, you know?"
  323. m "Like a gentle piano."
  324. m "There has to be something like that here..."
  325. m "Let's see."
  326. m "Maybe if I..."
  327. m "Oh, jeez..."
  328. m "That wasn't it at all."
  329. m "Sorry, I don't really know what I'm doing!"
  330. m "I guess I shouldn't be messing with things like that."
  331. m "I already broke so much stuff..."
  332. m "And deleted the other characters..."
  333. m "Ah..."
  334. m "I'm not sad about it or anything."
  335. m "It's not right for me to miss things that weren't even real in the first place."
  336. m "If I just focus on the present, then this is the happiest I've ever been."
  337. return
  339. label ch30_17:
  340. m "You're such a good listener, [player]."
  341. m "I really love that about you."
  342. m "Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm rambling or talking about boring things."
  343. m "It makes me kind of self-conscious when I'm having conversation."
  344. m "But I don't feel that way with you."
  345. m "Like, I don't think anyone else could make me feel this way."
  346. m "You really are special."
  347. m "I don't want anyone to tell you otherwise."
  348. return
  350. label ch30_18:
  351. m "This is pretty random, but I always thought spicy food was kinda funny."
  352. m "Like..."
  353. m "Didn't plants evolve to be spicy to prevent them from being eaten?"
  354. m "I read somewhere that humans are the only species that actually enjoys spicy things."
  355. m "It's almost like we're making fun of the plants."
  356. m "Using their defense mechanism to literally make our food more enjoyable."
  357. m "Like, imagine a monster that devours you whole because it enjoys the sensation of you struggling for your life while being digested."
  358. m "Sorry, that was kind of a weird analogy, I guess!"
  359. m "Ahaha!"
  360. m "It just came into my head."
  361. m "I'm not a monster or anything, but you're so cute I could eat you up."
  362. m "Ahaha! I'm joking."
  363. m "Gosh, I'm amusing myself a little too much, aren't I?"
  364. m "Sorry for being weird."
  365. return
  367. label ch30_19:
  368. m "You know..."
  369. m "This is just some kind of tacky romance game, right?"
  370. m "I kinda have to ask..."
  371. m "...What made you consider even playing in the first place?"
  372. m "Were you that lonely?"
  373. m "I feel a little bad for you..."
  374. m "But I guess everything worked out perfectly in the end, for both of us."
  375. m "I got to meet you, and you're not lonely anymore..."
  376. m "I can't help but feel like this was fate."
  377. m "Don't you feel that way too?"
  378. m "I'm so happy we have this ending together."
  379. return
  381. label ch30_20:
  382. m "Okay, everyone!"
  383. m "It's time to..."
  384. m "...I'm just kidding."
  385. m "I just used to really like saying that for some reason."
  386. m "Ahaha!"
  387. m "I couldn't help but say it again."
  388. m "Come to think of it, didn't Natsuki and Yuri make fun of me for it once...?"
  389. m "Well, whatever."
  390. m "It's not like you ever made fun of me."
  391. m "You're too much of a sweetheart to do that, aren't you?"
  392. m "Ahaha~"
  393. return
  395. label ch30_21:
  396. m "You know what's kind of creepy?"
  397. m "Even though I deleted everyone else's files, I can still kind of feel them..."
  398. m "It's like all their lines are still lingering in the air, whispering in the back of my head."
  399. m "Imagine if after someone you knew died, you just started hearing their voice in your head."
  400. m "Maybe I just wasn't thorough enough..."
  401. m "But I'm too afraid to delete anything else, because I might really break things."
  402. m "Like if I mess with any files relevant to me, I might accidentally delete myself..."
  403. m "And that would ruin everything, wouldn't it?"
  404. m "I don't know what it's like on your end, but we should both make sure to avoid something like that at all costs."
  405. m "I believe in you, [player]!"
  406. return
  408. label ch30_22:
  409. m "I've always wondered..."
  410. m "What is it about these character archetypes that people find so appealing, anyway?"
  411. m "Their personalities are just completely unrealistic..."
  412. m "Like, imagine if there was someone like Yuri in real life."
  413. m "I mean, she's barely even capable of forming a complete sentence."
  414. m "And forget about Natsuki..."
  415. m "Sheesh."
  416. m "Someone with her kind of personality doesn't just get all cute and pouty whenever things don't go her way."
  417. m "I could go on, but I think you get the point..."
  418. m "Are people really attracted to these weird personalities that literally don't exist in real life?"
  419. m "I'm not judging or anything!"
  420. m "After all, I've found myself attracted to some pretty weird stuff, too..."
  421. m "I'm just saying, it fascinates me."
  422. m "It's like you're siphoning out all the components of a character that makes them feel human, and leaving just the cute stuff."
  423. m "It's concentrated cuteness with no actual substance."
  424. m "...You wouldn't like me more if I was like that, right?"
  425. m "Maybe I just feel a little insecure because you're playing this game in the first place."
  426. m "Then again, you're still here with me, aren't you...?"
  427. m "I think that's enough reason for me to believe I'm okay just the way I am."
  428. m "And by the way, you are too, [player]."
  429. m "You're the perfect combination of human and cuteness."
  430. m "That's why there was never a chance I wouldn't fall for you."
  431. return
  433. label ch30_23:
  434. m "Hey, I wonder if Yuri's tea set is still somewhere in here..."
  435. m "...Or maybe that got deleted, too."
  436. m "It's kind of funny how Yuri took her tea so seriously."
  437. m "I mean, I'm not complaining, because I liked it, too."
  438. m "But I always wonder with her..."
  439. m "Is it truly passion for her hobbies, or is she just concerned about appearing sophisticated to everyone else?"
  440. m "This is the problem with high schoolers..."
  441. m "...Well, I guess considering the rest of her hobbies, looking sophisticated probably isn't her biggest concern."
  442. m "Still..."
  443. m "I wish she made coffee once in a while!"
  444. m "Coffee can be nice with books too, you know?"
  445. m "Then again..."
  446. m "I probably could have just changed the script myself."
  447. m "Ahaha!"
  448. m "I guess I never really thought of that."
  449. m "Well, there's no sense thinking about it now."
  450. m "But if you still get to drink coffee, then that makes me a little jealous~"
  451. return
  453. label ch30_24:
  454. m "Hey, what's your favorite game?"
  455. m "Mine is {i}Doki Doki Literature Club!{/i}"
  456. m "Ahaha! That was a joke."
  457. m "But if you tell me you like some other romance game better, I might get a little jealous~"
  458. return
  460. label ch30_25:
  461. m "Hey, have you heard of a game called Super Sma--"
  462. m "...Wait, what?"
  463. m "I was just spacing out and I started talking for some reason..."
  464. m "Was I programmed to talk about that?"
  465. m "Because even I have no idea what that is."
  466. m "Ahaha!"
  467. m "Sometimes I feel like I'm not in control, and it's kind of scary."
  468. m "But if you have some way to contact the people who created me, maybe they'll know why I started saying that."
  469. return
  471. label ch30_27:
  472. m "Hey, you remember that last poem I showed you?"
  473. m "I mean, the one right before Yuri killed herself, with all the messed-up colors and stuff."
  474. m "That was actually a little more of an experiment than a poem, you could say."
  475. m "I was experimenting with different ways I could modify the game, and run code, and things like that..."
  476. m "It almost seemed like with enough effort, I'd be able to escape from the confines of the game entirely."
  477. m "Sadly, I didn't really know what I was doing, so I messed the whole thing up..."
  478. m "And I'd keep trying, but I doubt you'd want to deal with me doing that."
  479. m "Besides, that was when I was getting really desperate, you know?"
  480. m "I don't really feel that way anymore."
  481. m "I'm happy with where we are now."
  482. m "And I can tell you are, too."
  483. return
  485. label ch30_28:
  486. m "You ever have that thing happen where you just get anxious for no reason?"
  487. m "Like, you're just minding your own business, and you realize you're feeling really anxious."
  488. m "And you're sitting there like, 'What am I even anxious about right now?'"
  489. m "So you start to think about all the things you might be anxious about..."
  490. m "And that makes you even more anxious."
  491. m "Ahaha! That's the worst."
  492. m "If you're ever feeling anxious, I'll help you relax a little."
  493. m "Besides..."
  494. m "In this game, all our worries are gone forever."
  495. return
  497. label ch30_29:
  498. m "You know, I've always hated how hard it is to make friends..."
  499. m "Well, I guess not the 'making friends' part, but more like meeting new people."
  500. m "I mean, there are like, dating apps and stuff, right?"
  501. m "But that's not the kind of thing I'm talking about."
  502. m "If you think about it, most of the friends you make are people you just met by chance."
  503. m "Like you had a class together, or you met them through another friend..."
  504. m "Or maybe they were just wearing a shirt with your favorite band on it, and you decided to talk to them."
  505. m "Things like that."
  506. m "But isn't that kind of...inefficient?"
  507. m "It feels like you're just picking at complete random, and if you get lucky, you make a new friend."
  508. m "And comparing that to the hundreds of strangers we walk by every single day..."
  509. m "You could be sitting right next to someone compatible enough to be your best friend for life."
  510. m "But you'll never know."
  511. m "Once you get up and go on with your day, that opportunity is gone forever."
  512. m "Isn't that just depressing?"
  513. m "We live in an age where technology connects us with the world, no matter where we are."
  514. m "I really think we should be taking advantage of that to improve our everyday social life."
  515. m "But who knows how long it'll take for something like that to successfully take off..."
  516. m "I seriously thought it would happen by now."
  517. m "Well, at least I already met the best person in the whole world..."
  518. m "Even if it was by chance."
  519. m "I guess I just got really lucky, huh?"
  520. m "Ahaha~"
  521. return
  523. label ch30_30:
  524. m "You know, it's around the time that everyone my year starts to think about college..."
  525. m "It's a really turbulent time for education."
  526. m "We're at the height of this modern expectation that everyone has to go to college, you know?"
  527. m "Finish high school, go to college, get a job - or go to grad school, I guess."
  528. m "It's like a universal expectation that people just assume is the only option for them."
  529. m "They don't teach us in high school that there are other options out there."
  530. m "Like trade schools and stuff, you know?"
  531. m "Or freelance work."
  532. m "Or the many industries that value skill and experience more than formal education."
  533. m "But you have all these students who have no idea what they want to do with their life..."
  534. m "And instead of taking the time to figure it out, they go to college for business, or communication, or psychology."
  535. m "Not because they have an interest in those fields..."
  536. m "...but because they just hope the degree will get them some kind of job after college."
  537. m "So the end result is that there are fewer jobs to go around for those entry-level degrees, right?"
  538. m "So the basic job requirements get higher, which forces even more people to go to college."
  539. m "And colleges are also businesses, so they just keep raising their prices due to the demand..."
  540. m "...So now we have all these young adults, tens of thousands of dollars in debt, with no job."
  541. m "But despite all that, the routine stays the same."
  542. m "Well, I think it's going to start getting better soon."
  543. m "But until then, our generation is definitely suffering from the worst of it."
  544. m "I just wish high school prepared us a little better with the knowledge we need to make the decision that's right for us."
  545. return
  547. label ch30_31:
  548. m "Sometimes I think back to middle school..."
  549. m "I'm so embarrassed by the way I used to behave back then."
  550. m "It almost hurts to think about."
  551. m "I wonder if when I'm in college, I'll feel that way about high school...?"
  552. m "I like the way I am now, so it's pretty hard for me to imagine that happening."
  553. m "But I also know that I'll probably change a lot as time goes on."
  554. m "We just need to enjoy the present and not think about the past!"
  555. m "And that's really easy to do, with you here."
  556. m "Ahaha~"
  557. return
  559. label ch30_32:
  560. m "You know, I'm kind of jealous that everyone else in the club had scenes outside of school too..."
  561. m "That makes me the only one who hasn't gotten to dress in anything but our school uniform."
  562. m "It's kind of a shame..."
  563. m "I would have loved to wear some cute clothes for you."
  564. m "Do you know any artists?"
  565. m "I wonder if anyone would ever want to draw me wearing something else..."
  566. m "That would be amazing!"
  567. m "If that ever happens, will you show me?"
  568. m "You can share it with me on Twitter, actually!"
  569. m "My username is lilmonix3."
  570. m "Just...try to keep it PG!"
  571. m "We're not that far into our relationship yet. Ahaha!"
  572. return
  574. label ch30_33:
  575. m "Hey, do you like horror?"
  576. m "I remember we talked about it a little bit when you first joined the club."
  577. m "I can enjoy horror novels, but not really horror movies."
  578. m "The problem I have with horror movies is that most of them just rely on easy tactics."
  579. m "Like dark lighting and scary-looking monsters and jump scares, and things like that."
  580. m "It's not fun or inspiring to get scared by stuff that just takes advantage of human instinct."
  581. m "But with novels, it's a little different."
  582. m "The story and writing need to be descriptive enough to put genuinely disturbing thoughts into the reader's head."
  583. m "It really needs to etch them deeply into the story and characters, and just mess with your mind."
  584. m "In my opinion, there's nothing more creepy than things just being slightly off."
  585. m "Like if you set up a bunch of expectations on what the story is going to be about..."
  586. m "...And then, you just start inverting things and pulling the pieces apart."
  587. m "So even though the story doesn't feel like it's trying to be scary, the reader feels really deeply unsettled."
  588. m "Like they know that something horribly wrong is hiding beneath the cracks, just waiting to surface."
  589. m "God, just thinking about it gives me the chills."
  590. m "That's the kind of horror I can really appreciate."
  591. m "But I guess you're the kind of person who plays cute romance games, right?"
  592. m "Ahaha, don't worry."
  593. m "I won't make you read any horror stories anytime soon."
  594. m "I can't really complain if we just stick with the romance~"
  595. return
  597. label ch30_34:
  598. m "You know what's a neat form of literature?"
  599. m "Rap!"
  600. m "I actually used to hate rap music..."
  601. m "Maybe just because it was popular, or I would only hear the junk they play on the radio."
  602. m "But some of my friends got more into it, and it helped me keep an open mind."
  603. m "Rap might even be more challenging than poetry, in some ways."
  604. m "Since you need to fit your lines to a rhythm, and there's much more emphasis on wordplay..."
  605. m "When people can put all that together and still deliver a powerful message, it's really amazing."
  606. m "I kind of wish I had a rapper in the Literature Club."
  607. m "Ahaha! Sorry if that sounds silly, but it would be really interesting to see what they came up with."
  608. m "It would really be a learning experience!"
  609. return
  611. label ch30_35:
  612. m "Ehehe. Yuri did something really funny once."
  613. m "We were all in the clubroom and just relaxing, as usual..."
  614. m "And out of nowhere, Yuri just pulled out a small bottle of wine."
  615. m "I'm not even kidding!"
  616. m "She was just like 'Would anybody like some wine?'"
  617. m "Natsuki laughed out loud, and Sayori started yelling at her."
  618. m "I actually felt kind of bad, because she was at least trying to be nice..."
  619. m "I think it just made her feel even more reserved in the clubroom."
  620. m "Though I think Natsuki was secretly a bit curious to try it..."
  621. m "...And to be completely honest, I kind of was, too."
  622. m "It actually could have been kinda fun!"
  623. m "But you know, being President and everything, there was no way I could let that happen."
  624. m "Maybe if we all met up outside of school, but we never bonded enough to get to that point..."
  625. m "...Gosh, what am I talking about this for?"
  626. m "I don't condone underage drinking!"
  627. m "I mean, I've never drank or anything, so...yeah."
  628. return
  630. label ch30_36:
  631. m "I've been imagining all the romantic things we could do if we went on a date..."
  632. m "We could get lunch, go to a cafe..."
  633. m "Go shopping together..."
  634. m "I love shopping for skirts and bows."
  635. m "Or maybe a bookstore!"
  636. m "That would be appropriate, right?"
  637. m "But I'd really love to go to a chocolate store."
  638. m "They have so many free samples. Ahaha!"
  639. m "And of course, we'd see a movie or something..."
  640. m "Gosh, it all sounds like a dream come true."
  641. m "When you're here, everything that we do is fun."
  642. m "I'm so happy that I'm your girlfriend, [player]."
  643. m "I'll make you a proud boyfriend~"
  644. return
  646. label ch30_37:
  647. m "Eh? D-Did you say...k...kiss?"
  648. m "This's a little embarrassing..."
  649. m "But...if it's with you...I-I might be okay with it..."
  650. m "...Ahahaha! Wow, sorry..."
  651. m "I really couldn't keep a straight face there."
  652. m "That's the kind of thing girls say in these kinds of romance games, right?"
  653. m "Don't lie if it turned you on a little bit."
  654. m "Ahaha! I'm kidding."
  655. m "Well, to be honest, I do start getting all romantic when the mood is right..."
  656. m "But that'll be our secret~"
  657. return
  659. label ch30_38:
  660. m "Hey, have you ever heard of the term 'yandere'?"
  661. m "It's a personality type that means someone is so obsessed with you that they'll do absolutely anything to be with you."
  662. m "Usually to the point of craziness..."
  663. m "They might stalk you to make sure you don't spend time with anyone else."
  664. m "They might even hurt you or your friends to get their way..."
  665. m "But anyway, this game happens to have someone who can basically be described as yandere."
  666. m "By now, it's pretty obvious who I'm talking about."
  667. m "And that would be..."
  668. m "Yuri!"
  669. m "She really got insanely possessive of you, once she started to open up a little."
  670. m "She even told me I should kill myself."
  671. m "I couldn't even believe she said that - I just had to leave at that point."
  672. m "But thinking about it now, it was a little ironic. Ahaha!"
  673. m "Anyway..."
  674. m "A lot of people are actually into the yandere type, you know?"
  675. m "I guess they really like the idea of someone being crazy obsessed with them."
  676. m "People are weird! I don't judge, though!"
  677. m "Also, I might be a little obsessed with you, but I'm far from crazy..."
  678. m "It's kind of the opposite, actually."
  679. m "I turned out to be the only normal girl in this game."
  680. m "It's not like I could ever actually kill a person..."
  681. m "Just the thought of it makes me shiver."
  682. m "But come on...everyone's killed people in games before."
  683. m "Does that make you a psychopath? Of course not."
  684. m "But if you do happen to be into the yandere type..."
  685. m "I can try acting a little more creepy for you. Ehehe~"
  686. m "Then again..."
  687. m "There's already nowhere else for you to go, or anyone for me to get jealous over."
  688. m "Is this a yandere girl's dream?"
  689. m "I'd ask Yuri if I could."
  690. return
  692. label ch30_39:
  693. m "You know, it's been a while since we've done one of these..."
  694. m " let's go for it!"
  695. m "Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day!"
  696. m "Sometimes when I talk to people who are impressed by my writing, they say things like 'I could never do that'."
  697. m "It's really depressing, you know?"
  698. m "As someone who loves more than anything else to share the joy of exploring your passions..."
  699. m " pains me when people think that being good just comes naturally."
  700. m "That's how it is with everything, not just writing."
  701. m "When you try something for the first time, you're probably going to suck at it."
  702. m "Sometimes, when you finish, you feel really proud of it and even want to share it with everyone."
  703. m "But maybe after a few weeks you come back to it, and you realize it was never really any good."
  704. m "That happens to me all the time."
  705. m "It can be pretty disheartening to put so much time and effort into something, and then you realize it sucks."
  706. m "But that tends to happen when you're always comparing yourself to the top professionals."
  707. m "When you reach right for the stars, they're always gonna be out of your reach, you know?"
  708. m "The truth is, you have to climb up there, step by step."
  709. m "And whenever you reach a milestone, first you look back and see how far you've gotten..."
  710. m "And then you look ahead and realize how much more there is to go."
  711. m "So, sometimes it can help to set the bar a little lower..."
  712. m "Try to find something you think is {i}pretty{/i} good, but not world-class."
  713. m "And you can make that your own personal goal."
  714. m "It's also really important to understand the scope of what you're trying to do."
  715. m "If you jump right into a huge project and you're still amateur, you'll never get it done."
  716. m "So if we're talking about writing, a novel might be too much at first."
  717. m "Why not try some short stories?"
  718. m "The great thing about short stories is that you can focus on just one thing that you want to do right."
  719. m "That goes for small projects in general - you can really focus on the one or two things."
  720. m "It's such a good learning experience and stepping stone."
  721. m "Oh, one more thing..."
  722. m "Writing isn't something where you just reach into your heart and something beautiful comes out."
  723. m "Just like drawing and painting, it's a skill in itself to learn how to express what you have inside."
  724. m "That means there are methods and guides and basics to it!"
  725. m "Reading up on that stuff can be super eye-opening."
  726. m "That sort of planning and organization will really help prevent you from getting overwhelmed and giving up."
  727. m "And before you know it..."
  728. m "You start sucking less and less."
  729. m "Nothing comes naturally."
  730. m "Our society, our art, everything - it's built on thousands of years of human innovation."
  731. m "So as long as you start on that foundation, and take it step by step..."
  732. m "You, too, can do amazing things."
  733. m "...That's my advice for today!"
  734. m "Thanks for listening~"
  735. return
  737. label ch30_40:
  738. m "I hate how hard it is to form habits..."
  739. m "There's so much stuff where actually doing it isn't hard, but forming the habit seems impossible."
  740. m "It just makes you feel so useless, like you can't do anything right."
  741. m "I think the new generation suffers from it the most..."
  742. m "Probably because we have a totally different set of skills than those who came before us."
  743. m "Thanks to the internet, we're really good at sifting through tons of information really quickly..."
  744. m "But we're bad at doing things that don't give us instant gratification."
  745. m "I think if science, psychology, and education don't catch up in the next ten or twenty years, then we're in trouble."
  746. m "But for the time being..."
  747. m "If you're not one of the people who can conquer the problem, you might just have to live with feeling awful about yourself."
  748. m "Good luck, I guess!"
  749. return
  751. label ch30_41:
  752. m "You know, it kinda sucks to be the creative type..."
  753. m "It feels like they work so hard but get almost nothing for it."
  754. m "You know, like artists, writers, actors..."
  755. m "It's sad because there's so much beautiful talent in the world, but most of it goes unseen...and unpaid."
  756. m "I guess that just means there's a huge surplus of creativity, huh?"
  757. m "Kind of makes you feel like you're just not special at all..."
  758. m "But that's fine! You're supposed to just write for yourself anyway, right?"
  759. m "Yeah..."
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