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lucidCthonia has no time for butthurt! (Dealing, 1/3)

Zuki
Jul 27th, 2012
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  1. (3:42:02 PM) lucidChthonia: It's been a while since we talked, VP. How goes?
  2. (3:42:46 PM) ventricularPipefitter: "Not bad."
  3. (3:43:34 PM) ventricularPipefitter: New session, seems pretty 'normal,' but Echo's going to be bringing the Mist-bugs down on us. There's a green star in the sky and Prospit and Derse are seriously freaked and Yervoy is mad at my future self for something.
  4. (3:43:40 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Nothing I can't handle.
  5. (3:43:46 PM) lucidChthonia: Well.
  6. (3:43:57 PM) lucidChthonia: Not to get down to business too quickly, but I'm noticing -
  7. (3:44:15 PM) lucidChthonia: Well, I'm noticing that the founder group is less... stable than it used to be?
  8. (3:45:18 PM) lucidChthonia: I'm sure the business with specificNihilism and her newly found diamonds is related to it somewhere, though I don't really know how.
  9. (3:45:18 PM) ventricularPipefitter: That's one way to put what's been going on with Vitt.
  10. (3:45:25 PM) ventricularPipefitter: ...oh.
  11. (3:45:26 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Or that.
  12. (3:46:56 PM) lucidChthonia: Would you like to elaborate?
  13. (3:48:12 PM) ventricularPipefitter: No.
  14. (3:48:18 PM) ventricularPipefitter: I feel shitty enough as it is.
  15. (3:49:39 PM) lucidChthonia: Then I'll suppose I have to guess.
  16. (3:50:09 PM) lucidChthonia: Pick one, envy or jealousy.
  17. (3:52:23 PM) ventricularPipefitter: What?
  18. (3:52:26 PM) ventricularPipefitter: This
  19. (3:52:33 PM) ventricularPipefitter: This isn't about jealousy
  20. (3:53:02 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Skye is family
  21. (3:53:07 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Like my sister or something.
  22. (3:53:19 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Not someone I was ever interested in like that.
  23. (3:53:41 PM) lucidChthonia: Hmm.
  24. (3:53:47 PM) lucidChthonia: I guess what I want to say is
  25. (3:54:01 PM) lucidChthonia: People grow together. But people also grow apart.
  26. (3:54:05 PM) lucidChthonia: It's something that happens.
  27. (3:54:25 PM) lucidChthonia: If we didn't have to change we wouldn't have maturity quests.
  28. (3:55:39 PM) lucidChthonia: If she is family, then - people grow up and move out, I guess.
  29. (3:55:43 PM) ventricularPipefitter: We made this place so replayers could keep in touch. To share knowledge about the game. But...so once you reset, those people you just spent a year fighting and laughing and dying with don't drop off the face of the earth.
  30. (3:56:33 PM) ventricularPipefitter: To feel a little less goddamn lonely.
  31. (3:56:45 PM) lucidChthonia: Riddle me this, VP.
  32. (3:56:50 PM) lucidChthonia: If I'm not one of your Founders
  33. (3:56:55 PM) lucidChthonia: Why am I still friends with you?
  34. (3:57:28 PM) lucidChthonia: If you think that those fourteen months were the best of your life, why don't you just go wander into an Ebonpyre unarmed right now?
  35. (3:58:15 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Fuck's sake, Aelfrida, I'm not -suicidal-.
  36. (3:58:43 PM) lucidChthonia: It was an exaggeration.
  37. (3:59:06 PM) ventricularPipefitter: But when somebody you've known for ten-years-and-change doesn't want you in her life anymore because of a stupid thing you knew better than to say, it's going to hurt.
  38. (3:59:18 PM) ventricularPipefitter: (It'll spare you the cutesy counting-down-the-exact-Time thing.)
  39. (4:03:27 PM) lucidChthonia: Let's be honest.
  40. (4:03:35 PM) lucidChthonia: You're the one perpetuating the hurt yourself.
  41. (4:03:54 PM) genesisArtificer [[email protected]] entered the room.
  42. (4:03:57 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Well who am I to break up the happy couple.
  43. (4:04:10 PM) lucidChthonia: If you continue to insist that your welfare be directly associated with the existence or nonexistence of trust between you and someone else, you are in for an extremely rough ride.
  44. (4:04:26 PM) MusilogicalDecayafier [[email protected]] entered the room.
  45. (4:04:27 PM) lucidChthonia: So let the fuck go.
  46. (4:04:29 PM) ghoulishCarnage [[email protected]] entered the room.
  47. (4:04:48 PM) ventricularPipefitter: What. Stop caring?
  48. (4:04:53 PM) MusilogicalDecayafier left the room.
  49. (4:05:59 PM) lucidChthonia: I know as well as you do that there is no way to stop caring. And I also know that you're also not about to cut her out of your life entirely.
  50. (4:06:01 PM) ventricularPipefitter: (( http://pastebin.com/qVbC6pVS -- for those who came in later. ))
  51. (4:06:48 PM) lucidChthonia: But you have to cultivate a deliberate attitude of not giving a damn about some things, because giving a damn is going to hurt you.
  52. (4:07:52 PM) lucidChthonia: Does specificNihilism care that I am friends with you? I don't think so.
  53. (4:08:08 PM) mislaidLullaby [[email protected]] entered the room.
  54. (4:08:14 PM) unseeingAugur is now known as threadTreader
  55. (4:08:46 PM) ventricularPipefitter: ...I should have said something in the first place. Instead of sitting on how I felt for a month and letting it get worse.
  56. (4:11:07 PM) lucidChthonia: It's a Heart thing.
  57. (4:11:18 PM) lucidChthonia: I'm pretty sure of that.
  58. (4:11:45 PM) lucidChthonia: You guys are like "oh let me hold your feels" and then you sit on them until something explodes.
  59. (4:12:41 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Sure, let's bring this all back to classpect stereotypes. That'll create a productive discussion.
  60. (4:12:57 PM) lucidChthonia: Turnabout is fair play.
  61. (4:13:08 PM) lucidChthonia: Apparently every Mind player is a Vulcan.
  62. (4:13:15 PM) ventricularPipefitter: I don't do that.
  63. (4:14:41 PM) lucidChthonia: The problem is that the Game actually does enforce those stereotypes.
  64. (4:14:53 PM) lucidChthonia: Very ruthlessly, if you ask me.
  65. (4:15:36 PM) ventricularPipefitter: I haven't rolled native in a while.
  66. (4:15:51 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Rage, late-game,when this started. Time, now.
  67. (4:17:33 PM) lucidChthonia: I've never rerolled Mind and I'm still a Mind player. But that's a digression.
  68. (4:18:07 PM) lucidChthonia: You need to, if I may borrow an expression from my meme-addicted Mist player, "lose the ability to can".
  69. (4:18:48 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Do you have any suggestions?
  70. (4:19:27 PM) lucidChthonia: Building habits in the mind is exactly the same as building habits in the body.
  71. (4:19:53 PM) lucidChthonia: After a while it becomes automatic.
  72. (4:19:59 PM) lucidChthonia: But at first you have to force yourself.
  73. (4:21:20 PM) lucidChthonia: Bring it up? "I have decided not to care." Move on.
  74. (4:22:40 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Once upon a time.
  75. (4:22:51 PM) ventricularPipefitter: This was a game that told me I needed to start giving a fuck about things.
  76. (4:23:09 PM) ventricularPipefitter: In a 'this will affect your future,' sort of way.
  77. (4:23:23 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Ah well.
  78. (4:23:25 PM) lucidChthonia: I thought being a Mind player was a matter of becoming a master wielder of logic.
  79. (4:23:30 PM) lucidChthonia: I was wrong.
  80. (4:23:46 PM) lucidChthonia: I had to learn the fine art of what to give a damn about, and how to use it constructively.
  81. (4:24:46 PM) lucidChthonia: Caring about things is not the same as caring about things indiscriminately.
  82. (4:28:18 PM) ventricularPipefitter: So I don't get to have an opinion about this? It doesn't matter, I'm wrong, they're right, roll-over-and-take-it.
  83. (4:30:00 PM) lucidChthonia: What did I tell you about morality?
  84. (4:30:49 PM) ventricularPipefitter: There's no such thing. We figure it out as we go and build it based on the people around us. Case-in-point trolls.
  85. (4:31:56 PM) lucidChthonia: So who is wrong, in this interaction?
  86. (4:32:09 PM) lucidChthonia: If wrong does not exist?
  87. (4:33:59 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Well it still feels like me.
  88. (4:34:13 PM) ventricularPipefitter: So help me, I /tried/.
  89. (4:34:43 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Wanted to just talk to Skye about it. That sort of snowballed into a PM with Mornei. I stuck to the facts. And how they made me feel. As best I could.
  90. (4:34:59 PM) lucidChthonia: I'm sure you did.
  91. (4:36:10 PM) lucidChthonia: I'm also sure that you conflated your feelings on the matter with what you thought was "right" and "wrong", and knowing you, you were probably undiplomatic about it.
  92. (4:37:15 PM) ventricularPipefitter: 'Ve got a right to how I feel.
  93. (4:37:17 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Everyone does.
  94. (4:37:23 PM) ventricularPipefitter: And I stand by what I said to Mornei.
  95. (4:38:32 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Go ask around if you want logs and details I guess; nobody has any privacy around here.
  96. (4:47:31 PM) lucidChthonia: I'd rather hear it from you.
  97. (4:50:06 PM) ventricularPipefitter: ...give me a minute
  98. (4:50:12 PM) ventricularPipefitter: I might as well dig up what I've got.
  99. (4:51:54 PM) ventricularPipefitter: There was a little bit before this with Skye, and him.
  100. (4:51:55 PM) ventricularPipefitter: Then this.
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