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>You settled yourself indoors, searching through your new refridgerator, looking around inside, you spotted the regular
>Cheese, milk, vegetables, but in the very back there was a plate covered and wrapped, with a note upon it
>Grabbing the note, it read, "I noticed as you were talking you have some sharp teeth, so have this as a gift - Princess Celestia"
>Underneath was, holy shit
>POPCORN CHICKEN
>You quickly devoured a quarter of the dinner plate before recovering it, the plants would need some attention sooner or later
Where the hell's that fertilizer?
>Suddenly you noticed a trapdoor
>Under it, was, a cellar!
>Haha! and It's filled to the brim with gardening tools and fertilizers

1/x

>Although the tools are small, they're still workable
>You grabbed a smaller sack of fertilizer, still fucking heavy and it stunk to high heaven out of the cellar and went out the door
>Outside you looked towards the rows of plants
>Holy shit they've already sprouted
>Suddenly you hear something huge land behind you
>You turn and spot a yellow pegasus holding a piece of paper and a rope tethering a bunch of rain clouds
>"Oh hi there Mister..." she looks down in her hand, "Anonononoymoose, I'm here with the rain clouds"
>Keep it moist, never over-water, the soil should retain moisture and not drip, and it must clump.
That's great
>You move over to the soil and grab a little bit, It's a bit dry and crumbly
>You look around and spot a long 12 meter long trough
Would you mind dumping the water into that trough over there?
>"Sure thing!" she flies over, stomps on the clouds a little bit, and dumps the water into the trough, filling it up completely.
>"Anything else?"
Nah, you're free to go.
>She gives a salute and takes off

2/x

>Grabbing a watering can, filling it up, you take a little bit of the soil and test how much water It'll need
>You pour about a half liter on the small 1' x 1' patch of dirt, then sample it
>Clumps together fine, no dripping
>Perfect
>You continue to water the area around the plants, holy shit what
How the fuck are they already this grown?
>You look towards the fertilizer
>"Magic Grow fertilizer, helps crops germinate and sprout fast"
>You turn again, facing crops that should've been grown in a month, in less than 24 hours
>Fuck
>You look around, spotting all the male plants, you pull them out of the ground and dump them into a pile
>Next you look around, looking for any non-green plants
>You spot a few plants with yellowing of the leaves, looks like calcium deficiency

3/x

>A dash of fertilizer solves that, you look around again
>You look hard at a plant
>Mold
>Honeydew deposits
>It's aphids
>You rush inside and grab some soap, hopefully insecticide
>You coat the plant in the soap and then wash it all off
>Hopefully that takes care of that
>You begin individually checking each plant
>You'd run into aphids, spider mites, whiteflies, thrips, lice, slugs n snails, rushing to get chemicals to kill them all, mutilating plants due to mold or destroying virus crops.
>Copper, Iron, Magnesium, Manganese, Molybdenum, Nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, Sulfur, Zinc Deficiency, etc, etc
>By the end of the day you've overworked yourself trying to keep the crops alive, but due to this miracle grow stuff, they've already progressed to a pretty good stage, and are almost ready to be harvested

4/x

>After that tiring experience, you finally go home, sit on your comfy bed, and fall asleep
>MINGERS
>Wat
>MINGERS
>MINGERS MINGERS
>OH GOD WHAT
>You spend the entire night having horrible nightmares

5/5

>You awoke to the hot sun burning a hole in your retinas, body being overheated by the sun
>Ahh summer, in winter and fall you can always put on more clothing, but in summer you have to have access to fans, or cold water, or something.
>Closing the blinds, you got dressed, brushed your teeth, showered, the ponies didn't include any shaving tools so I guess It's time to use your knife
>You unsheathed the blade, a simple thing, military tool, cheap, taking a bit of soap you rubbed it on your face until it formed a nice foam around where it was to shave
>The knife dragged, knicking any bumps but shaving through all of the hairs on your face
>The water was cold, but washed away the grime left by the soap and the hairs stuck to your face, and stuck to the knife
>Your boots were laid in the corner, easily slipped on and tied, you were ready for the day

1/x

>The sun was warm but the air was cold as you left your house, a look at your watch revealed the time to be 05:59
>A grab of the dirt showed that it was a little bit dry, so you filled your watering can up and began to water the plants
>Wait a second
>The plants were already fully grown, resin everywhere, the dark period of the night has done good
>Fuck this fertilizer is crazy shit
>Harvest early, keep your wits, harvest later, high is greater
>The high was more calming later on, eases pain, increases appetite, early was more social, late more medicinal
>The buds were large, so you began to harvest half of the crops, and later in the day, you'll harvest the rest. Giving you time to dry each batch.
>The knife cut through the plants, didn't really have any good scissors to harvest this seeing as you just sold the shit, the buds you needed falling into a sack to be dried
>After half the plants have been harvested, you checked the other half to estimate how long til you harvest them
>About a half day

2/x

>You took the buds indoors and searched for a closet, you found a giant one, just big enough for all the plants you had harvested
>Laying the buds out on a small cloth, you looked around, finding a temperature dial and a note
>"Drying room, I have made sure the room is insulated, there is a small orb you can tap to regulate the temperature - Princess Celestia"
>The dial said 62 F, not good, not good at all
>You tapped the orb, which started spewing out room temperature air
>Gotta keep the room dark, gotta keep it cool enough
>You looked up, finding a fan, and another orb, alongside a note
>"Humidity controller"
>She really knows her shit
>You tapped the orb, which instantly made the room a little bit dryer, not too much and turned on the fan, blowing air downward
>You left the room, leaving it alone
>Next step would be to cure

3/x

>You looked around the house, searching every nook and cranny
>Finally, jars
>Tons of jars, and lids! 
>Perfect for the next step
>Looking to your right, you found another closet, and a note
>"Curing room"
>Works for me
>As you stepped in you notice another orb, and the room was chilly at 65 F / 18 c
>They will need to cure for a few days
>As you exited the room, your stomach started growling
>It's time for POPCORN CHICKEN
>A check of the fridge revealed popcorn chicken, bread and cheese. So you fastened yourself a sandwich
>A damn good sandwich

4/x

>Eventually going through out the day and checking the time, it became time to harvest the rest of the buds
>As the process repeated, you opened the closet, set down the sack, and tested the buds
>The stem snapped, a little too fast, but the bud checked out as well, so you moved them to the curing room
>The buds were placed into jars, door closed, and the freshly harvested buds moved to the drying table
>The day progressed doing random bullshit to entertain yourself, until you realized
HOLY SHIT I have my laptop!
>You got that solar charger so you could dick around in the mountains, cost $500 but it was well worth it
>You removed the laptop from your backpack, plugged it in, and placed the solar charger on the window sill
>A blinking light showed you that it was charging, and you turned it on
>You began blasting music out of the tiny thing, and watching movies, playing games, etc etc
>The day progressed until a beep from your watch alarm clock alerted you about the buds

5/x

>A test of the buds in the closet showed them to be ready, so you moved them to the curing room
>By now the sun had set, so you turned off the laptop and put it and the charger back into your backpack and headed to bed
>In a week these buds will be smokeable, or earlier, who knows in this fucked up place

6/6

>As you awake, the sun isn't shining through your curtains, nor at all
>Groggily taking a few steps to the window, you open it just to see thunder and lightning, rain and hail assaulting the background
>Whelp. the soil's fucked, overwatered and all, gotta let it dry up before replanting 
>Continuing with the morning routine, shave, shower, brushing teeth, going to the bathroom, the kitchen beckons as you shuffle onward
>A quick check of the pantries reveals a few boxes of cereal, "Gorilla munch"
>A check of the milk makes sure nothing is spoiled
>You finish breakfast in silence and clean up afterwards, getting ready to check on the plants.
>The closet opens revealing the buds all jarred up, opening the jar reveals the foul odor built up inside
>You hold your head back, then put your nose in again and sniff
>Yep, It's ready

1/x

>You seal the jar and then look for a grinder, finding one, you drag it into the curing room and begin working
>You turn the grinder and pour the buds in, slowly but surely it grinds them up into smaller and smaller pieces
>Eventually after an hour of grinding, you've ground down all the buds into a very large pile of smokeable weed
>Damn this pile is bigger than your head, hell bigger than two of your heads!
>Grabbing a few jars, you divide the weed 50/50, one jar for Celestia, one jar for selling yourself, just as the deal entailed
>Now how to contact Celestia
>The house is mostly bare, doesn't seem to be anything in sigh-
>There's a knock on the door
>Who the fuck would knock on your door this far out
>You unholster your gun and take a look through the peep sight
>Nothing? Well then
>You open the door

2/x

>Nothing, just like I
>"Hello there"
Gah!
>You jump backwards and aim the gun downwards, revealing a small lizard
W-who are you? You scared the hell out of me man.
>"I was sent by Princess Celestia to keep you company, and so you could communicate with her" says the lizard
Works for me, I suppose. come on in.
>You turn and the lizard follows close behind you
So what's your name?
>"Name's... Uhh... They just called me buddy, what's your name?
Works for me, so Buddy, I'm Anonymous, but you can call me Anon. What species are you?
>"I could ask the same, I'mma dragon"
I'm a human, only one in Equestria as far as I know, you hungry?
>"Boy am I! Got any gems?"
>Gems
>Wat

3/x

You eat gems?
>"Yeah! All dragons do!"
Can you eat anything else?
>"Pretty much, It's just not as good"
>You open the fridge, and take out the plate of popcorn chicken
Would you like to have some... Meat?
>"Woh! I haven't had meat since I was a baby! Thanks!"
>You spend the time devouring the rest of the plate of chicken with this tiny dragon
>He's got a bigger appetite than you do
>You grab a hold of your stomach, damn you're getting a little bit chubby
>It's time for a run
Hey Buddy
>"Yeah?" he looks up from the plate
>You dig around in your backpack before grabbing a hold of what you thought you didn't have
>Your mp3, not really an mp3, an Ipod touch given as a gift
>Turning it on, you flick through the menu and select angry birds
Want to play a game?

4/x

>"W-what is it?"
This, my friend, is Angry birds. Come on I'll show you how to play
>Both of you take seats on the couch, and you show him the controls
Just do this and try to attack the pigs and get all of them, got it
>"Yeah!" 
>You hand him the mp3, then go to your bedroom and start getting ready
>Undressing from your pants, putting on jean shorts and tucking the handgun in the specially made holster, alongside equipping the belt, you're ready to run, canteen and pedometer equipped
Hey buddy, if you get hungry there's some food in the pantries, don't touch any of the green stuff in the jars, and the bathroom is in the hallway to the right
>It's raining pretty hard, cold and humid, best running temperatures, at least for you that is
>Buddy's too addicted to the game to care, so he just waves you off
>Opening the door, you begin your run

5/x

>Not so bad, It's only been about two to three days since you got here, so your running hasn't began to suffer
>Your watch keeps track of the time and the pedometer in your pants keeps track of the distance
>One mile in, not feeling the burn
>The air smells good, the rain feels good on the skin, and the wind is chilling to the bone
>You run in a straight line, so you can make it back to your house, eventually stumbling upon a path
>The fog is a bit too thick to actually see where it goes, but its flat enough so might as well
>Two miles in, a little bit of cramping but it went away as soon as you noticed it
>By now the path is becoming wider, and you swear you see houses in the distance
>Three miles in, you slow to a hault you catch your breath, and take a large swig of your canteen
>Feelsgoodman
>The howling of the wind and the ground being hit by hail is accompanied by your panting, luckily with all this rain you aren't covered in sweat

6/x

>Within three minutes you're fully recovered, and head back home, four miles in its becoming a bit of a pain to run.
>Five you're a little bit exhausted
>Six You arrive home, open the door, and scare the hell out of Buddy
Sup *pant* just finished my run
>You turn off the stopwatch
>The time reads 42 minutes
>42 straight minutes of running? Damn, haven't done that in a while
>You fumble around in your room a bit and open the closet
>Inside is a bunch of clothing, and it's just your size
I don't even
>There's another note
>"I've gotten custom clothing made for you, take it as a gift"
>Fuck yes clean clothing
>You hop in the shower, and wash the grime away

7/7