navy santa seals 8-mile

Yo, what did you just mutter about me, you little Scrooge? You should know, I've been sleighing the streets of 8 Mile, delivering gifts through the thickest of snows, and I've checked my list more than 300 times, for real. I'm trained in rooftop landings, and I've got the flyest sleigh in the whole of the D.

You ain't nothing to me but just another chimney. I will deck your halls with cheer the likes of which has never been seen in this city, believe that. You think you can drop that bah humbug on me and not pay the price? Think again, elf. As we're talking, I'm contacting my underground network of reindeers across Detroit and your address is being traced right now, so you better get ready for the blizzard, maggot. The blizzard that wipes out the bitter cold you call your attitude. You're getting cheer, kid.

I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can bring joy in over seven hundred ways, just with my sack of toys. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed gift delivery, but I got access to the entire arsenal of the North Pole Workshop and I will use it to its full extent to warm your frozen heart off the face of the hood, you little snowflake.

If only you could have known what holy cheer your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your frosty tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn Grinch. I will snow fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re getting cheer, kiddo. Merry Christmas from the real Santa of 8 Mile. Ho ho ho, now where's my milk and cookies at?