Trix of the Trade - Chapter 11

>”Feast your eyes!”
>Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up…
>”Truly, this human is a magnificent being!”
>But, your legs are right there…
>”Trixie may even say that it is HALF as magnificent as she is!”
>The crowd lightly chuckles. They don’t know she’s not joking…
>You turn your head away from the box containing your lower half.
>Ugh. The sight of Snips and Snails standing off to the side of the stage is just as sickening.
>So you just look up.
>But Trixie is still talking about you being in two pieces and how wonderful it is.
>It isn’t wonderful. You still feel attached. You can still wiggle your toes.
>That fact that you can SEE them detached is horrifying you.
>Great, now you’re thinking about it.
>The lurching feelings of Trixie moving the two boxes nearly pushes you over the edge.
>Once she puts them together, you feel a hell of a lot better. Nothing physically changes but… Fuck, you’re having trouble comprehending exactly what happened. Your body, sight, and mind were going in three different directions for that entire ‘trick’.
>And you’re glad it’s all over.
>You flinch as you hear Trixie’s voice so close to your ear.
>”Jump out. Make a grand exit.”
“Huh?”
>Trixie goes to stand on her hind legs and flares her forelegs out.
>Your mind takes a few seconds to process what’s going on. Once you finally understand, you push the lid of the box off and try to jump out.
>But instead you fall flat on your face and blackout for a few minutes.

>”Aaaaaaanoooooooon! Wooooohooooo!”
>Ugh, of course the first noise you’d wake to is Pinkie’s.
>You groan as you come to, and just lay there with your eyes closed.
>Your face hurts. Your head hurts. You don’t want to deal with Pinkie. Or Snips and Snails.
>You feel a hoof connect with your nose.
>”Boop! Wakey wakey!”
>You yelp in pain and bolt up. Your nose is a little too sensitive right now.
>Sitting on your rump, you rub your eyes to clear you vision a little. The first thing you see is the entire audience paying attention to Trixie. You see the occasional flash of gold being flicked towards her hooves. Good. Bits are good.
>You push yourself up to your feet, dust yourself off, and step off the stage. Pinkie Pie, Snips, and Snails follow you.
>”Anon, I have a question.”
>The two of you round the corner of the wagon, getting out of the audience’s sight.
“What’s that?”
>”Will you come back to Ponyville with us?”
>You were admittedly shocked by the bluntness of the question.
>She didn’t put on a cute face, beg or throw you a party to soften you up.
>Welp, it’s only fair to return the package as it came.
“Nah.”
>”No?”
“Nope.”
>”Weeeellllllll…” She rubs her chin. “Okay!”
>You stare at her blankly for a few seconds.
“… That’s it? You’re not seriously giving up, are you?”
>”What do you mean?”
>Argh, that innocent smile is painful to look at.

“You couldn’t have come all this way—By the way, how did you get here?”
>”Train.”
“Right. Still, you couldn’t have come all this way to ask and give up that quickly.”
>She sits on her flank and puts her hooves on her sides.
>”And who says I’m only here for you?” She says in a sassy tone.
“You… Uh… Oh. Didn’t… I didn’t think about that…”
>”Exactly! I’m here meeting a friend, aaaaaand,” She pulls Snips and Snails in for a tight hug. “These two missed the Trixie show in Ponyville, so I thought I’d bring them with me!”
“I take it Rarity told you about the letter then?”
>She nods her head.
“Right. Look, I’m really sorry for leaving a second time without giving everyone a proper goodbye. Things were a little rushed and… I dunno, it just didn’t happen.”
>Her eye twitches before she responds.
>”Aww, don’t worry about it! Oh, oh! I know how you can make it up to me though!”
>You roll your eyes.
“Party?”
>Pinkie Pie gasps.
>”How did you know!?”
>You shrug.
“Lucky guess!”

>”Okay, okay, okay! While I set up the party…”
>She pushes Snips and Snails to you.
“Wait, you want me to play babysitter?”
>”Hey! I’ll have you know we’re almost stallions.” Snips cries.
>”Eeeyeah!” Snails oh-so slowly follows up.
>”Pleeeeeeease, Anon?”
>Uh oh, NOW she’s breaking out the puppy-dog eyes.
>”I-I’d really like to make this party just perfect f-for you…”
>Then she sniffles.
>Any chance of saying no goes away with that sniffle.
“Okay… Okay, fine. You get set up whatever party you’re going to throw and I’ll keep these two busy.
>”Yaaaaaaaaay!” She springs into the air and confetti flies everywhere.
>”Oh it’ll be so much fun!” She starts hopping around. “There will be cake and punch and music and ponies and dancing and pin the tail on the pony and twister and…” She continues to name things off as she skips away out of ear and eye shot.
>You look down at the two little colts at your feet.
>”So when do we get to meet Trixie?!”
>”Eeyeah, Ah wanna see her do some magic.” Snails hops up and down like an idiot.
“Eugh… Tell you what,” You take a look at your purple painted skin. “Help me get this junk off, and I’ll talk to her about giving you guys a free show.”
>They both let out excited gasps.
>”Hooraaaaay!”
>They both start skipping in circles and chanting, “We’re gonna get magic show! We’re gonna get a magic show!”
>You hate these two so much…

>You are Pinkie Pie.
>AND WHY ISN’T SHE ANSWERING THE DOOR?!
>You try knocking on door again, pounding even harder this time.
>How anyp0ny could sleep through the racket you’re making is insane.
>But, she is one of the few ponies who parties harder and more often than you…
>”Ugh! I’m comiiiiiiing! Impatient buckin’…”
>It’s about time.
>You hear the clattering of empty cans and you’re sure she trips once or twice before finally answering the door.
>The white maned, blue spiked haired unicorn stares at you behind her big purple glasses.
>”… Yo Pinks, is that you?”
“Vinyl!”
>You tackle hug her! She looks like she needed some cheering up!
>”’Ey, ‘ey! Take it easy! My head’s killin’ me!”
>Oh, tackle hugs aren’t good when somep0ny is recovering from partying too hard!
“Ehehe, sorry!”
>”Naaaaah, don’t worry about it. It’s been a while since I saw ya, shoulda seen it comin’.”
>You can’t hold in your giggle. Vinyl is so funny!
>After getting off Vinyl, she goes heads into the kitchen.
>You look around her small apartment for the first time.
>When you saw how ratty the place looked from the outside, you expected it be to be a little better on the inside.
>You were wrong. The white walls look as if they’re covered in dirt, there are cider cans everywhere, and the place stinks of musk and… Actually, that’s all it smells like.
>”You hungry? Cus I am!” Her voice calls from the kitchen.
“Yes Ma’am!”
>She emerges from the kitchen.
>”Then take me out to ICLOP. I’m out of food.”

>You and Vinyl sit at a table in ICLOP, eating stacks of waffles, ironically.
>The only thing better than pancakes are waffles.
>If you told Mrs. Cake that, she’d probably have you executed or something.
>That’s a really morbid thought, you shouldn’t think of that!!
>It’s about time you ask Vinyl the favor you needed from her.
“Vinyl, can you throw a party at your apartment tonight?”
>”Yeah.”
>That was awfully easy!
“And do you have any of your party mix?”
>Now she pauses at this.
>”… Pinks, I didn’t know you were into the stuff.”
“I’m not! I need it… For a friend!”
>She leans back and chuckles.
>”Suuuuuure.”
“It’s true! He’ll be at the party tonight!”
>”Cool. Is he hot?”
>You roll your eyes.
“Ugh, Vinyllll!”
>”What? You’re just friends with him, right?”
“Yep!”
>”So what’s the problem.”
>You give Vinyl a very disapproving look. Nop0ny should be acting like that! Ever!
“Just don’t do anything… you know, to him!”
>”Psssh, fine.” Vinyl scratches her neck and looks around. “So you want some Partytime?”
“… Is that what it’s called?”
>”Yeah, yeah.” Her horn lights up with magic and you feel something nudging you from under the table.
>You reach a hoof down and grab it.
>It’s a small little baggie containing one little white round thing.
“This is it?”
>”Uh huh. Just remember, eight up, eight down.”
“… Huh?”
>”Life of the party for eight hours, out cold for another eight. Got it?”
>A confident smile spreads across your face.
“Got it.”

>You are Anonymous.
>The past few hours have been filled with the constant whines and complaints of Snips and Snails.
>They don’t wanna stand behind the wagoooon. They wanna watch Trixieeeeee.
>But they’re kids in a city you know nothing about. You don’t like these kids, but you’re not going to let them out of your sight until Pinkie comes back.
>Babysitter of the year… You say as you wash this paint off in front of them…
>You washed your legs off quickly and sloppily just so you could put on some pants. Wearing just boxers around kids doesn’t sit very well with you, even in a society of nude ponies.
>First world human problems. Go figure.
>You wish these kids weren’t so bored though. If you could get Trixie to just look at these two for a few seconds, they’d probably be content for days.
>A man can dream… A man can dream.
>Speaking of, you think you head Trixie’s voice getting closer.
>”… Yes, Trixie is great, isn’t she?”
>”I didn’t say that… I mean, you are! But, nothing prompted that…”
>”And powerful. Oh yes, she is very powerful indeed!”
>She brought a small entourage from the sounds of it.
>Snips and Snails perk up at her approaching voice.
>”Oh my gosh! The G&PT is coming this way! You!” Snips points at you. “What does she want?!”
“Booze, bits, and bucks?”
>Witty remarks, 1 bit each. The first is on the house.

>”Ugh! No, stupid! Is she thirsty? Hungry?”
“I dunno, ask her.”
>”Uuuhhhh, okay!” Snails stumbles around the corner where Trixie is chatting up the remaining spectators.
>”Trixieeeeeeeee, are you thirrrrstyyyyyy?”
>Trixie ignores Snails and continues talking.
>Snails can’t take a hint. He walks up to Trixie.
>”Trixie.”
>No response.
>”Trixieeee. Trixie, Trixie. Triiiiiiiiiiixieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-“
>He starts pulling on her cape.
>”eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-“
>Trixie takes a deep, shuddering breath, then says to the ponies she’s talking to,
>”Now, begone! Trixie must prepare to leave for a new venue!”
>The remaining crowd of ponies ‘aww’s and quickly leaves.
>Once they’re all out of earshot, Trixie takes another deep breath and turns on Snails.
>”Couldn’t you see Trixie was busy you stupid little urchin!?” Her words—And possibly her spittle—were full of venom. “What could be so Celestia damned important that you must tug and possibly ruin Trixie’s cape? You don’t even have the right to touch it! Tell Trixie, why?!”
>Snails stands still with a blank face. A little drool seeps from his mouth.
>”… Do ya wanna Hayshake?”
>Snails swears he hears something snap before he’s enveloped in a purple aura.

>”Anonymous.”
>Trixie walks around the corner of the wagon as you finish washing the paint off shoulders.
>”May Trixie dispose of this one?”
“Dispose?”
>She raises an eyebrow.
>Oh god, she doesn’t mean…
“Absolutely not.”
>”UGH!”
>She tosses Snails at you.
“Aah--Hey!”
>Shit, you barely catch him. The little idiot is heavy.
>You can’t imagine how heavy the obese one is.
>”Then get them out of here so we can leave this dried up town!”
“Aaah, um… Actually, we’re staying until at least the evening.”
>Trixie’s face contorts into one of frustration.
>”And WHY would we do that!?”
“Party.”
>”A party?”
“Yes.”
>Trixie stomps her hooves in a pouty fashion.
>”Trixie doesn’t want to go to some mediocre party filled with ponies who only wish to grovel at Trixie’s hooves when she could be doing something that would at least entertain her!”
“Aww, I thought you liked ponies groveling at your hooves.”
>Trixie’s scowl grows a little.
“Besides, you don’t have to go. My friend invited just me and-“
>”YOUR friend?”
>Is you having a friend so unbelievable? Thanks, Trixie.
“Yeah. The pink one who tackled you, remember?”
>Trixie’s expression went from shock to boredom instantly.
“Anyway, she invited me. Guess it’s a proper goodbye thing or whatever. I’ll spend some time there and you can go get drunk and sleep with a bunch of stallions or so-“
>”Stop that!”

“What?”
>”Stop that! Stop… implying that Trixie…”
>She scoffs and rolls her eyes as she looks for the right words.
>”Is it so wrong that Trixie enjoys the pleasures of life? Why must you try and condemn her for enjoying herself? Do you desire the same lifestyle, knowing it is impossible for one such as you? Or do you just dislike fun?!”
>You… Wow. She’s… Wow.
“You’re…”
>”What is Trixie? Hm? Is she a slut?
>Okay, come on. We have kids here.
>”A slut who hasn’t slept with a stallion since she left Appleoosa, which was nearly two months ago? An alcoholic who only drinks to unwind from a tiring performance, whether it was good or bad? Tell Trixie, what is she?”
 “Trixie I’m… You’re right. I’m really, really sorry.”
>She motions for you to continue.
“It’s not my place to judge you. You’re a strong blue mare who don’t need no human telling her how she should and shouldn’t act?”
>Trixie trots up to you and says, “Don’t you dare forget it.” While poking your gut with a hoof.
>She then looks over you.
>”And you’re still covered in that gunk?”
“The paint that you bought and forced me to put on? Yeah, I still have quite a bit on me.”
>You hear the tingle of Trixie’s horn before you’re blasted with what feels like a quick, stinging burst of air.
>The remaining paint on your body is ripped off in purple strips.
>You crack your left eye open to see Trixie already rounding the corner of the wagon to enter it.
>Only when the door slams shut does Snails speak up.
>”What’s a slut?”
>… Ugh.

>You give Trixie a couple minutes to cool off before following her inside the wagon.
>The first thing you notice out of place is her saddlebag laid out on the table with a few gold coins spilling out.
>Good. It’s finally your turn to do something productive that doesn’t involve getting cut in half.
>You instruct Snips and Snails to sit at that table as you do.
>They’re hell bent on making too much noise. You have to shush them several times just to concentrate, and even then you lose count a few times.
>These colts are getting on your last nerve. If Pinkie doesn’t take them off your hands soon you-
>As if fate has made a move in your favor, Pinkie Pie bursts through the door at that moment.
>”I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaack!”
>”Fiiiinally!” Snips whines. “Anonymous wasn’t fun at all, AND Trixie was being mean!”
>Pinkie shrugs.
>”Oh well! We’ll find a way to cheer you up!”
>Pinkie then hops over to you.
>”Everything work out alright?”
“Yep, these two,” You gesture to Snips and Snails, “Behaved for the most part. It was pretty boring.”
>”Okay! I’ll just take them off your hooves and we’ll be on our way!”
“Cool, party still on?”
>”Mmhmm!”
“Good, I need a night to unwind.”
>”Hehehe, everyp0ny does! You’re not very fun at all Mr Not Fun Boring McUnfun Pants!”
>She pats your head before turning to exit the wagon.
>”I’ll be back to tell you when the party staaaaaaarts~!” She sing songs until she’s gone.

>With the three of them gone, things get awfully quiet.
>You only hear the clinking of bits as you count them individually. Even that goes by too quickly. Trixie didn’t haul in much from this morning’s show. At least it’s better than what you guys got last night—Hell, anything is better than last night.
>You expected Trixie to be making some sort of noise. The scrawling of a quill on paper? Music coming from that old record player? The gentle rustling of her turning on her bed, thinking of you. ‘Oh Celestia why doesn’t Anon love me like everyp0ny else? They all bend at my hooves but Anon is still defiant, and that makes him super duper hot!’
>You chuckle at the thought.
>Trixie’s ‘fun’ sense tingles, and her door swings open as she pokes her head out.
>Shit, you’d better get back to… You weren’t doing anything.
>With a mad Trixie, that means ‘awkward silence for Anon’ time.
>Oh! You can count the bits a third time!
>Yeah, that’ll be fine.
>You place a finger on a bit,
>”You will accompany Trixie to the… ‘party’.”
>Your eyes meet with Trixie’s. She looks completely serious.
“… The party I, not us, but I was invited to?”
>”Trixie will remain there for one hour, and then she shall leave. As will you.”
“Well, how about you leave early and I’ll stick around for a while.”
>”Absolutely not. Consider this your apology.”
>You lean back in your chair and give Trixie a shooty look. This is unfair to the maximum degree. It’s worse than not letting you go all night. She’s giving you a taste of an awesome Pinkie party and snatching it away just when you start to enjoy yourself.
>Trixie is the anti-Pinkie Pie.

“Fine, deal. I’ll explain things to Pinkie Pie when we get there.”
>She shrugs as if she doesn’t care. Probably because she doesn’t.
>Well… That’s all settled. Time to start counting bits again. One… Two…
>”Would you… like to do something?”
>Great. You somehow lost count already. Distractions, distraction, dis-
>Did Trixie just…
“… Something?”
>”That is what Trixie said.”
“I guess.”
>”U-Unless you don’t want to! Trixie is only doing this because she sees how awfully bored you are! It’s not as if Trixie actually want to spend time with y-… her f-friend!”
>A small blush creeps on Trixie face in embarrassment.
>And you can’t believe what you just heard. Is Trixie being… TSUNDERE?!
>You’re trying so hard not to laugh. The edge of your mouth keeps twitching. Trixie probably thinks you’re insane.
“Y-Yeah, how about a walk or something, just to kill some time. *snort* Hehe…”
>”What?”
“What?”
>”You laughed.”
“Ehh, yeah. Human joke. You wouldn’t get it.”
>Trixie narrows her eyes suspiciously but accepts it as an appropriate answer a moment later.
>”Very well, let us leave.”
“Yeah, lemme just scoop up these bits and,”
>The bits are magiked into the saddlebags instantly.
“… I hate how everything is so easy for you.”
>With a very satisfactory ego boost, Trixie trots towards the wagon door.
>It bursts open for the second time today.
>And it’s Pinkie.
>Again.
>”Hi! Is everyp0ny ready for a party?!”
>Trixie looks dumbfounded.
>You feel the same way she looks, but you manage to answer.
“Pinkie, shouldn’t we wait until the evening?”

>”I said the same thing to my friend but she was all like, ‘Nope! Party now!’ and you can never say no to Vinyl! So I was all like, ‘Okey Dokey Lokey!’ and I left Snips and Snails over there so I wouldn’t have to bring them over here because I know they annoy you and Trixie and I’m upset for them because they wanted to see a big Trixie show but-“
“Stop.”
>”Okay! Follow me!”
>Pinkie speeds out of the wagon and into the streets of Baltimare.
>Trixie is still sitting still, a little confused as to what just happened.
>You ruffle her mane a little as you pass by.
“Next time, Trix.”
>Trixie of course initially takes this as an offensive gesture.
>You messed up her mane AND didn’t give her the courtesy of saying her full name!? It was bad enough you didn’t call her Great and Powerful. This… this was…
>… Was it a friendly gesture?
>Trixie sure didn’t like it, but perhaps the meaning behind it is positive, right?
>Trixie uses magic on the slightly messed up bit of hair. Okay, easy fix. And being called ‘Trix’ was a little… endearing. By you, at least. There shouldn’t be any need for formalities between you and… Hehe, Trix.
>At least, that’s how she thinks things should be between friends. The two of you are friends, right, she asks herself.
>Yeah… You didn’t have an issue with it whenever Trixie expertly snuck it into a demand or statement.
>So officially and legally (Trixie may or may not think friendships are legal matters) You and Trixie are friends.
>Trixie lets out a quiet, content sigh before following you out of the wagon.

>You, Trixie, and Pinkie arrive at a terrible looking apartment in a terrible looking neighborhood no so much later.
>The sounds of music and pony chatter can be heard from behind the door Pinkie has led you to.
>You look down a Trixie. Her distaste of this rundown apartment is as obvious as yours.
>Pinkie gives the door a single knock and it immediately opens.
>A white unicorn with electric blue hair greets the three of you.
>”Heeeey! It’s my favorite Ponyville Pinkie Pony again! These you’re fr-Whoa, what am I lookin’ at?”
>The mare lifts her purple glasses to get a good look at you with her bright magenta eyes.
>”Good, doesn’t look like I’m flyin’.” She nudges Pinkie. “Heh, I have a ‘surprise’ drug test tomorrow so it’s ‘no fun for Vinyl’ night.”
>She stares at the three of you for a moment.
>”… The buck are you guys waiting for? Get your flanks in here!”
>Pinkie immediately erupts into a party craze.
>”Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
>Aaaaaand she’s off.
>You turn to Trixie.
>She’s already gone. Where the hell…
>”So what are you, exactly?”
“Human. The name’s Anonymous, Anon for short. Pleasure to meet you.”
>”… Dude, those manners are just… Dude.”
“I know, right?”
>”No like, if you were a stallion, you know what I’d do to you?” She bites her lip. “I’d just take you and… And have a really nice dinner at a decent restaurant.”
>You let out a short laugh. You like this mare’s sense of humor.
“And after that I’d pay the bill and we could take a nice walk in the park?”
>”Celestia, that’s so hot.”
>You and the mare both laugh this time.

>”Name’s Vinyl Scratch, by the way. It was nice meetin’ you, Anon.”
“You too, Vinyl.”
>She gives you a quick nod and fades into the crowd. You hear her moments later, trying to gather the attention of other ponies, but you’re now occupied with looking for Trixie. She ran off to somewhere.
>Drinks and snack table? Nope. The couch where several ponies are making out like drunken high schoolers? Noooope.
>… In the bedroom with a stallion?
>Ugh, no. That’s not fair. You and Trixie literally just went over this.
>She’s probably hanging around somewhere. Maybe if you just look for her hat you could-oh my god that was fast why didn’t you do that at first?
>She’s sitting against a wall in the least populated area of the main room, just watching ponies. It’s pretty much what happened at Sugarcube Corner.
>Well, if Trixie is only going to be here for an hour, you’re going to make her have fun.
>You shuffle through the partying ponies as you make your way over to Trixie.
>She sees you immediately and looks in the opposite direction, but doesn’t move a muscle.
>You think maybe a light hearted joke will cheer her up.
>Once you get close enough, you launch your super original totally funny joke.
“Well now, what’s such a pretty mare doing all alone at a party like this?”
>”Shut up. Trixie hates it here.”
>Aww, not even a grin.
“What’s wrong?”
>In a flat tone, she lists everything off,
>”The music is far too loud. Trixie’s flank is sore.”
“Heh.”

>”If Trixie has to tell you to shut up again, you’ll regret it.” She takes a quick but deep breath. “The lights are too dim. The music choice is terrible. This place reeks of sex. These ponies look like drug addicts. An ugly stallion tried… ‘Hooking up’ with Trixie.”
“I was joking.”
>”Not you! The idiot was much uglier…”
>Well, fuck. That wasn’t nice.
“Right, I’ll see you later then.”
>Trixie scoffs and you feel a tug on your shirt before you get a chance to move.
>”Don’t you get flank flustered over a little comment like that. You get to stay here and be Trixie’s little annoying stallion shield.”
“… Wait, am I the annoying one or are the stallions?”
>”Both.”
“Well they must be MORE annoying if you’re using me as protection.”
>”Exac-“
>”ANON, HI!”
>GNFVRJNFRF!
>PINKIE OUTTA NOWHERE!
“Pinkie! … Pinkie! Hi! Don’t… do that!”
>You should be used to it, but it will always startle the shit out of you.
>”Want some punch?!”
“Not re-“
>Red liquid in a blue cup is forced into your hand.
>You’re not really in the mood for punch. Maybe a beer or two, but punch is too… Childish for what is obviously a very adult party.

>Snips emerges from the crowd of ponies, weakly levitating a red cut with his magic.
>”Wait! Pinkie, you said the red cup was the-“
>Pinkie lets out a high pitched scream to cut him off.
>She snatches the cup out of his magic and swaps your blue cup with the red one.
>Then she chugs the contents of the blue cup with one big gulp.
>”Okay, your turn!”
“How about no.”
>”But-“
>Trixie takes a step forward and… brandishes her horn, you think?
>She doesn’t say a thing. The threat of magic is intimidating enough for Pinkie to surrender… for now.
>Trixie sits back down and flashes you a smug grin as Pinkie Pie does… Pinkie Pie stuff. Snips and Snails follow her through the crowd.
“Look at the bright side, you’re stuck with me but at least it’s not them.”
>Trixie visibly shivers at the though.
>”Don’t TELL Trixie that. It’s… unfathomably horrible to think about.”
>You chuckle, thankfully she joins in.
>As the chuckling dies down, you and Trixie stare at each other with goofy grins plastered on your faces.
>You know, these moments with Trixie, the ones that are funny, heartwarming, and overall endearing, easily cancels out her general behavior.
>You wouldn’t be caught dead thinking that a month ago, but here you are.
>And Trixie has been putting much more effort into being friendlier towards you. It’s only fair that you start returning it.
>You pointlessly raise your cup in Trixie’s direction.

>”What are you doing?”
“Cheers.”
>Somewhere in the crowd, Pinkie’s ear twitches. She heard Anon say, ‘Cheers’. That means he’s about to drink… Pinkie smiles to herself as she tosses the tiny, empty plastic bag in a nearby trashbin.
>”Trixie doesn’t have a drink, and ‘cheers’ to what, exactly?”
>You shrug.
“A successful and lengthy future?”
>”How awfully generic.”
“True.”
>It’s obvious Trixie won’t return the toast. You pull your arm back and raise it to your mouth.
>Pinkie is silently squealing in glee.
>”Yo, Anon.”
>Aha, some mare approaches you while your guard is down, huh?
>You lower your cup to see Vinyl look right at you, levitating her own cup of drink.
“Oh, sup Vinyl?”
>”Not much, not much.” She scratches her neck with a hoof. “Hey, you’re new to Equestria, right?”
“Compared to everyone else here, yeah.”
>”Awesome. C’mere, I wanna show you somethin’.” She gestures to the nearby closed bedroom. You’re pretty sure you saw a couple of ponies go in there not so long ago…
“Uhh, sure.”
>You stand up, dust yourself off, and give Trixie a gentle pat on the back.
“I’ll be right back, alright?”
>Trixie only turns her head back to the crowd. Watching and listening.

>Once you and Vinyl enter the room, the first thing you notice is…
>Two ponies fucking on the bed. Nice.
>”Hey, hey, hey! I keep tellin’ you guys, ‘No Buckin’ in my room, unless it’s me!’”
>The ponies scramble off the sheets and shuffle out of the room with beet red faces.
>”Welp, can’t say that was first time that’s happened. Probably not the last.”
“Ew.”
>”I know, right? Uncool, unless I’m involved.”
“Uh-“
>”Weird topic! Moving on!”
“Sounds good to me.”
>You set your cup down. Without any actually motivation, such as a toast, there’s no reason to drink something you don’t want to drink.
>”Okay, you see all this?”
>Vinyl gestures to her entire room.
>You finally take a good look at the place. This is the only room in the house you’ve seen that isn’t disgusting. The walls are painted with two colors. The bottom half being a dark crimson, the top being a medium gray. On the wall there are tons of pictures of Vinyl in front of famous places or with famous ponies. Hanging directly avove her bed, a framed golden record.
>”You see that gold record? It was my first album. My first record ever produced. Sold over 100,000 worldwide!”
“Really? How have I not heard of you, and…”
>This next question is a little uncomfortable to ask.
“How did you end up in this dump?”

>”The first one? You must know nop0ny with a decent taste in music. Second… Long story. I messed up and I’d rather not get into it.”
“I can respect that.”
>”You’d better.” She downs her drink after carrying it for so long. “Aaah, totally refreshing. Now, you wanna hear some of my stuff?”
>You nod.
>”Good, cus I was gonna make you listen anyway.”
“Heh.”
>She opens a drawer from her dresser. Instead of dresses, socks, or panties like most girls have in their dressers, she has records.
>Vinyl pulls one out at random and slaps it into the record player next to her bed.
>”So kids nowadays, you know what they like?”
“What’s that?”
>”Bass drops. And they like ‘em fast and messy.”
“…”
>”That’s bad.”
“Ah.”
>”The problem with that is every talentless pony can do that. Nuh-uh. I try to do something just a little different, because a ‘little’ can make a big impact. Check it,”
>She presses play on the record player.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnwfTHpnGLY
>Now this was unexpected. Singing? Piano? You thought all dubstep was talentless “drop da bass” boops and wobbles.
“Is that you singing?”
>”What? Uh, yeah. That’s me. I’m… Not very good at it. I stopped since then.”
“Really? I think you should keep doing it?”
>”Y-You think so? Maybe I should… Um… Hey, dude.”
>She points to the cup of punch you brought in.
>”I’m buckin’ thirsty. You gonna drink that?”
“Nah, go for it.”
>”Cool.” She levitates the cup over and takes two big gulps. “Mmm! Pinkie’s punch is the BOMB!”
>The two of you had no idea…

>You are Pinkie Pie, and you’re worried. You don’t know if Anon drank his drink! He was so close! Why did Vinyl have to ruin it for you?! She didn’t actually know but… Argh! This is super frustrating.
>You slip through the crowd at bit and reach the door to Vinyl’s room.
>The best solution would be to just open the door, knock him out, and force him to return to Ponyville with all his friends.
>But you gotta be nice and sneaky about it.
>You press your ear up against the door. You hear the sounds of talking… Music? Nothing else, you guess.
>”What do you think you’re doing?”
>Ugh. HER!
>You turn on Trixie with the most innocent expression on your face.
“Nothing!”
>”Really?” Trixie lets out a small chuckle. “You only came all the way from Ponyville just to say ‘Hi’ and catch the end of Trixie’s magic show? Nop0ny is buying it.”
>Gee, Trixie is smarter than she looks! And she looks pretty dumb!
>You give her a small smile.
“Anon sure is!”
>WOW! Trixie looks awfully upset with you right now!
>”Listen closely, little puffball. Trixie doesn’t want to see you around her, or Anonymous, ever again. Understand?”
>*snort* Celestia, is she actually threatening you?
>Then, the two of you hear some sort of commotion from the other side of the door.

>You are Anonymous.
>And you don’t know how it escalated to this.
>A minute ago, you and Vinyl were talking about music.
>Now she has you pinned to the floor and she’s hopping up and down on your chest.
>”Wow! I can’t believe you like my singing! Not many ponies say that, probably cus they don’t know about it, but it’s so cool to hear someone say that!”
>With nothing more to say on the subject, she continues to hop up and down with a goofy grin on her face.
>”… Hey! Wanna see something cool?”
>She races off to the side of her bed before you giving you a chance to answer.
>Vinyl dives under her bed.
>”Where is it, where is it, where is-AHA!”
>Vinyl pulls herself out from under the bed and with her comes… Fuck, a big black box on wheels. That thing has no right being under a bed that low. That’s some serious Pinkie physics right there.
“What is that?”
>”Bass cannon! It’s awesome! Check it,”
>She presses a small button on top. Panels begin to move on the front, revealing the structure of a very large subwoofer.
>The door to Vinyl’s room slams open.
>Pinkie Pie… She has a nasty habit of opening doors way too quickly. Seriously, she might break one sometime.
>”Vinyl! No!”
>Pinkie zips over to Vinyl and grabs her before she can press a red button labeled, ‘Da BUTTon’.
>”WHOA! PINKIE! PARTY POOPER! PARTY POOPEEEEERRRRRR!”
>”Don’t you remember what happened the last time you used that?! Fifteen ponies went deaf! You lost your job in Canterlot!”
>”But it was an awesome party!”
>Vinyl writhes out of Pinkie’s grasp and slams a hoof down on the button.

>You’re not quite sure what happens then.
>Vinyl pushes the button… then everything goes silent, and becomes covered in a thin blue veil.
>You can physically FEEL the sound, though. It’s already making your ass hurt just by how intense the rumbling is.
>You also feel something brush up against your back.
>A lock light blue hair falls over your shoulder—Oh hello, Trixie.
>This must be her… Bubble… Thing. Yeah.
>Pinkie screams something, or maybe she’s just regularly screaming, before spotting you a Trixie in this little safe haven.
>She jumps over Vinyl and tries to cross through the bubble. It flashes pink at the moment she tries to get in.
>Trixie must be keeping her out.
“… ……… ….”
>Your mouth moves but no sound comes out.
>Sound cancelling instead of soundproof? Looks like it.
>You opt to nudge Trixie instead.
>She rolls her eyes before letting Pinkie in.
>Pinkie immediately collapses into your lap.
>You see blood seep out of her ears.
>Then the rumbling stops.
>You look up to see Vinyl just outside the bubble.
>She looks at it curiously before knocking rapidly on it.
>Trixie lowers the bubble.
>Vinyl continues to knocking motion for a second before noticing the bubble is gone.
>”… Hey! What did you guys think? Pretty cool, huh?”
>Trixie opens her mouth but you quickly interrupt her before she says anything that might cause Vinyl to play that music again.
“Awesome! Too much awesome for me, though. After all, I’m a lame dude.”
>”NO!”

>Vinyl latches onto your face and brings it within a few inches of her own.
>”You…” She takes a shuddering breath. “Are the coolest dude… I met today…”
>She lets go and sprawls herself on the floor and starts mumbling something about parties and ‘cool guys having chill days.’
“… Let’s get the fuck outta here.”
>Pinkie and Trixie don’t give it a second thought. They nod and the three of you scramble for the door.
>In the living room, several ponies lay on the ground as if they’re having the worst hangover.
>Moaning, clutching their heads, and rolling around, they all felt the effects of Vinyl’s ‘Bass Canon’.
>However, there were two ponies that SOMEHOW came out unscathed.
>”That was AWESOME!” Snips jumps a few feet in the air and claps his hooves.
>”Eeyeah! Let’s do it again!”
>Weird fuckin’ kids, man.

>You, Trixie, Pinkie, and a very disappointed Snips and Snails exit the apartment soon after.
“Pinkie?”
>”Yes, Anon?”
“What did you do to that drink?”
>Pinkie’s eyes shrink down to pinpricks.
>”N-N-Nothing, Anon!”
“Oh, so it was just a bad batch?”
>”Ye-“
“But only my cup was affected?”
>”…”
>”Trixie knew the pink one was up to something!”
>”TRIXIE IS TRYING TO POISON YOU AGAINST ME AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS IN PONYVILLE!” Pinkie points an accusational hoof at Trixie. “EVERYTHING BAD THAT’S HAPPENED TO YOU IS HER DOING AND YOU’RE FALLING RIGHT INTO HER TRAP!”
>You and Trixie glace at each other for a moment.
“Trixie?”
>”Mm?”
“Did you evict me from my home with little notice?”
>”Trixie did no such thing!”
“Did you make it difficult for me to find a job?”
>”Why, Trixie is the one who gave you a job, if she recalls correctly.”
“AND when Fluttershy has me pinned in an alley in Ponyville, who was it who came to my rescue?”
>”It was none other than the Great and Powerful Trrrrrrixie!”
“Exactly!”
>You turn back to Pinkie.
“So could you go back and tell everyone that I don’t have any plans to return to Ponyville?”
>”… But what about Dashie?”
>A lump forms in your throat.
>You forgot about that promise to Rainbow Dash.
“I’ll… I’ll figure that out. In the meantime, I have a message for all of Ponyville.”
>Pinkie raises an eyebrow curiously.
“Ready?”
>”Yep!”
“Leave me alone.”
>”… Is that-“
“With love, your favorite human, Anonymous.”
>Trixie and Snips both snicker at that.

>”But… But Anon…”
>She wraps your hooves around your waist into a tight hug.
>Aha! Trying to melt your heart? Well…
>It’s working!
>”I’m going to miss you too much… *sniff*”
>You sigh and place a hand on Pinkie Pie’s head.
“I’ll miss you guys too, but I won’t be gone forever. I’ll make sure to drop by Ponyville whenever possible.”
>She looks up, resting her chin on your stomach.
>”Promise?”
“Promise.”
>She digs her jaw in a little deeper into your gut.
>”Do it…”
“No.”
>A playful grin forms on her face.
>”You have to!”
“Nuh-uh!”
>”Do it!”
>Trixie tugs at your shirt.
>”Do whatever it is she’s asking so Trixie can leave!”
“Ugh… Fine…”
>Pinkie’s face nearly splits in two with that grin.
>You start the motions.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye… There.”
>”Hehe… Okay, you’re off the hook!” She pokes your bellybutton. “But you’d better come back!”
“Oh, I know what happens when I break a Pinkie Promise!”
>”Good.” She gives you one last tight hug. “Okay, the next train leaves pretty soon, so we should get going!”
>Pinkie scoops Snips and Snails onto her back.
>”Bye Anon, bye Trixie!”
>”Bye Trixie!”
>”Triiiiiiiiiiixieeeee, I love youuuuuuuuu!”
>Trixie retches at Snails’ bold statement.
“Aww, come on. Don’t you want to show a little love to your biggest fan?”
>”Shut up.”

>With goodbyes said and done, you and Trixie head back to the wagon. You’re currently going over in your head on what needs to be done before you and Trixie can leave for Fillydelphia.
>”You’re welcome.”
“… Huh?”
>”Oh, you forgot? Trixie only assumed you were waiting for the perfect time to thank her for protecting you from that… Thing that party unicorn had.”
“Oh. Oh! I-I’m sorry, things were a little hectic at the time. Thanks for the save, Trix.”
>”Hmph!”
>Aaah shit, you pissed her off.
>She’ll chill quickly enough though. You’ll just give her some space.
>”And do you know how you’re going to earn Trixie’s forgiveness?”
>She’s doing this again? Yeah, no thanks.
“Nope, and I don’t plan on finding out. There are a few things I’d like to take care of before we leave.”
>”Trixie wants to leave now!”
“That might be possible until tomorrow morning.”
>”Absurd! Trixie will not stand for this!”
“Shit, tell you what, I’ll make sure to get up early enough so when you wake up, we’re already on the road.”
>Trixie gumbles to herself.
“Deal?”
>”… Very well.”
==
The next morning.
>You wake so… Oh my goodness, this is so nice.
>You decided to spoil yourself a little and buy some better bedding.
>That was easily the best night’s sleep you’ve had in a long time.
>You do a little stretching, a little joint cracking, and push yourself up.
>You promised to Trixie that you’d get an early start, and you’re keeping that promise.

>Coffee mug in hand, sweet pastry next to you on the bench, and reins wrapped around your wrist, you set out for Fillydelphia.
>The roads are mostly deserted at this time of the day. The sun is just starting to rise over the horizon.
>Besides the occasional early bird passing by, you don’t see anyp0ny on the streets.
>You manage to reach to city limits pretty quickly. You say your final goodbyes to Baltimare as the cobblestone road turns to dirt.
>Soon enough, you come across something that catches your eye.
>A very rickety looking trailer carrying several covered box-looking items has managed to get itself stuck on the side of the road.
>The pony pulling it looks dead tired. She’s obviously been stuck for a while.
>… Wait, you recognize that mare.
>You pull up next to hitched mare to confirm your suspicions.
“Vinyl?”
>Her head darts in your direction. A look of relief spreads across her face when she sees who it was.
>”Thank Celestia… Anon, my main human! Dude, could you ask you for a favor?”
>You hop off your wagon, already know what she’s about to ask.
“Need me to push you out.”
>”Yeah.”
“No problem, just tell me when you’re ready.”
“Yes! Thanks a million and a half.”
>You position yourself behind the trailer and place your hands on the back.
>”Okay. Three, two, one!”
>You push with all your strength as she pulls. A blue aura forms around the entire thing to help with the effort.
>But it’s no use. The thing hardly budges
>”Buck! There’s no way we can get this thing out!”

“Hey, hey. Let’s not give up already. We’ll get this thing out.”
>”I’ve been at this since before sunrise, dude. There’s no way… I’m so tired.”
“Hmm… Maybe I could hitch your trailer to my wagon… Or-“
>”Hey… How much room do you have in that wagon?”
“You’d be surprised.”
>Hold on, is she-
>”Fifty bits. I’ll give you fifty bits if you take me and my equipment to Fillydelphia.”
>Fifty bits? That’s a little low for how much stuff she’s taking and housing. Worse if she didn’t bring her own food.”
>… She’s really down on her luck, though. Something MUST have happened if she’s leaving Baltimare in such a rush.
>You should really talk to Trixie about this.
>Eh, she’ll understand. Plus, bits.
“Deal. I’ll even help you load your stuff.”
>”OH CELESTIA, YES!” She unhitches herself from the trailer. “You’re a lifesaver, you know that?”
>She yanks the tarp covering her equipment. Most of the bulk is from what looks like DJ equipment. Turntables, speakers, the works. It looks as if there are only a few boxes carrying personal stuff.
>”Seriously. You should be the Element of Generosity, Kindness, Awesomeness, Coolness, Sexyness, Badassness,”
“You already have my help, no need to flatter me further.”
>”Ugh, it’s like, impossible to properly express my gratitude.”
“You can express it by puttin’ your butt into gear so we can leave as soon as possible.”
>She salutes.
>”Yes, SIR!”

>You and Vinyl have finished loading the larger equipment onto the top of the wagon. The rest should fit inside just fine.
“So, Vinyl. Why are you leaving Baltimare.”
>”It sucks dick.”
“… Eloquent.”
>”THAT and I quit my job.”
“Why’s that?”
>”You remember the party last night?”
“How could I forget?”
>”Yeah, well, somehow I bucked up. Dunno how, but I needed to stay clean for my drug test this morning.”
“Aren’t those supposed to be random?”
>”I have an inside source.”
“…”
>”You’re not getting any more info than that, bud.”
“Right, so you just quit?”
>”Either I quit, or I take the test, results come back positive, I get fired AND arrested. Easy choice.”
>You pick up one of the heavier boxes left on the trailer.
>A sudden realization hits it. It’s somewhat your fault that she had to do this. Mostly Pinkie, but you have some blame on your shoulders…
>You almost want to give Vinyl her money back and offer the trip for free.
>But… Money.
>You open the wagon door to meet a very tired looking Trixie.
>”What’s with all the noise? You woke Trixie up from her beauty sleep!”
“Good news! We have another passenger!”
>She looks to Vinyl standing behind you.
>”Sup?”
>Trixie just stares long and hard at her.
“Fifty bits.”
>Trixie steps aside, still wearing the same expression.
“See, I told ya she’d like you!”