TIFU by trying to steal my housemates car

Not today but a few weeks ago, i was trying to get to sleep but my brain did that "remember that spastic, embarrassing thing you did? heres a replay"

My fob key for my white Toyota Camry 2013 has been flashing low battery for a few weeks, i continued on my merry way because that is future Gxorgia's problem. Saturday afternoon rolls around, im leaving for work- a stupid, arrogant skip in my step because im helping my boss out by working. Walk out the gate where i usually park my car in the street, car doesnt care im trying to enter it. Try using the fob instead of touch unlock- no avail. Now, being a 20something white female, willfully ignorant about cars, i do not know what to do. Play with fob, out pops physical key! Bingo! Jam that sucker in there and jiggle it like an eager 16 year old boy bops his first fanny. And just like that 16 y/o, no one was satisfied by the result.. Stress call daddy, "daddy how do i replace my key battery, do i need to take it to an auto shop? Are they open on saturday?" Dad sighs so hard i can hear the regret of not having my mother abort me deep in his soul. Walks me through getting a battery and links a YouTube video on replacing it- i wake housemate #1 up and ask her to drive me to buy battery. FUCK, WORK! I finally remember my job and stress-panic-cry call my boss and profusely apologise for being now 30 minutes late and explain ill be there when i can. Finally! Key has battery! Run out the front and try to unlock car! NO! NO ENTRY! I'm losing my mind, i dont understand cars and start losing my shit on the footpath and XtraStressCry call manager and say i can't get in, car is problem. Im now considering how to break in and hotwire my car, my anxiety cannot handle listening to dissapointment in the voice of an authority figure. I try prying at the windows and glare at onlookers, shouting "i promise this is my car!" if they stare too long. In one last fit of anger and hope, i stand screaming at the car and finger spasm the shit out of this fob key and im about to set my car on fire.
Housemate #2 is dropped home from lunch date. Walks over to my pitiful eyes twitching at the dumb Camry in front of me. "Jesus whats your issue?" she asks, as she unlocks her White Toyota Camry 2013 in my fucking face and pulls out her sunglasses.

In what i can only describe as a "how to self abort 23 year old" internal Google search, i look 50 metres to my right, where my white Toyota Camry 2013 is parked, click my fob and watch it smugly flash in my face.

I call work back, i can't come in tonight, i have a mental breakdown scheduled. I call my  father and tell him i replaced the battery and everything is fine, while mentally apologising for my existence. My housemates have already called my boyfriend and told him, he is willing himself to believe its a long winded joke and his girlfriend isn't Spongebob's taller and dumber cousin.


TLDR: housemate has the same car as me, forgot where i parked car, spent 3 hours trying to get into her car and missed my whole work shift when my car was parked 50 metres away with no issues.

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