Clever Boy (PoFG)

>"Hey, Nat, check it out."
>There was a stray sitting on the bench.
>At least you assume it's a stay. No collar, no owner in site.
>Clothes don't look shabby or torn. Stolen maybe? One of those smarter humans, maybe.
>He doesn't notice you or Vic as you walk up to him. He's away in a world of his own, feet tucked up into him, hands on his chin.
>Staring with a strange, sad-eyed look at the other humans in the park as they ran free and played with each other and their owners
>Poor little guy. You bet he just wants to join in.
>You wave a paw in front of his face
>He jumps and looks up at you, clearly startled.
"Heya, boy. You lost?"
>He instantly looks nervous, eyes going wide, body tensing.
>"I'm fine." he says.
>You were right,he's one of the smarter breeds.Rare to see strays like that.
>"Your owner around, little guy?" asks Vic."Don't see a collar on you."
>"Sure." replies the human, looking away. His hand rubs at his neck absently. "I, uh, don't wear collars. Liberal owner, you know?"
>You exchange glances with your Alsatian partner, raising an eye brow.
"Mind pointing them out to us?"
>"Uh, look, I'm just sitting on a bench, ok?" says the human, looking up at you with an annoyed look in his small, grey eyes. "Not causing any trouble, here."
"You know we can't just let strays around in the park."
>"I'm not a stray." He insists, pouting.
>It's adorable in a way. Don't see many humans trying to argue their case like this.
>He's like a stroppy child.
"Come on now, it's ok." you say. "We're not gonna hurt you. We'll get you a nice home."
>Vic takes a step closer as you distract the little guy.
>The human sees something over your shoulder, his head cocking and his eyes going wide.
>You and Vic both turn around to check it out.
>By the time you realise there's nothing there, the human's already scrambled off the bench, arms and legs flailing as he goes
>Clever boy...

>Be Anon
>You can't believe that worked.
>The dog cop and the cat cop had actually fallen for such a cheap trick.
>And they acted like YOU were the dumb one
>Well look who's dumb now, suckers
>You look over your shoulder and see the cat lady lock eyes with you. It's kinda scary actually
>Better save the gloating till you're out of sight
>You've made up a decent amount of ground on them though. You were always decently quick on your feet.
>They're both like twice the size of you, that meant they'd be slow right? The dog guy looks pretty bulky.
>You scan ahead of you, looking for an exit
>There's the gate out onto the street about 60 yards or so away
>Some other of these giant furry freaks are staring at you, but no one's moving towards you
>OK, good. You can get to the gate and onto the street, find an alley or something, and then-
>You hear footsteps. Loud footsteps.
>You look behind again
>WHAT THE FUCK SHE'S CAUGHT UP WITH YOU, WHAT
>She has a steely look as she runs, arms outstretched like the god damn terminator
>It occurs to you that she has yellow fur and black spots
>A cheetah. Of fucking course.
>You can't help but yelp in terror, bracing for a tackle.
>A pair of strong arms pluck you right off the ground and into the air
>"Gotcha!" she says, triumphantly
>Your legs still kick as if they were running on the ground, but you can tell pretty much immediately that resistance is futile
"Help!" you cry, looking around.
>No one helps.
>Some onlookers start to clap you captor, even.
>Her partner shows up, filling your view. He's not even mad. Everyone's having a great time it seems, except for you
>"Nice try, little man." he says, as you're carried away. "That was some nice work, Nat. Been a while since I seen you sprint like that."
>"I wasn't letting him get away after that dumb trick. Can't have people thinking we got fooled by a human, ya know?"
"But you did get fooled by a human.You're just stupid fast."
>"You hush, now."

>You are now a human handler named Caren
>You are also an opossum
>You are NOT "plump", as your coworkers insisted on calling you. You are curvy, thank you very much.
>Anyway, a patrol had brought in an unusual stray
>Didn't often get ones this smart on the street.
>Looked healthy enough, average size,no signs of abuse or starvation
>But his attitude was unusually negative for a human
>He sat on a bench, legs dangling off the edge, staring glumly at you
>Well, you'd dealt with grumpy humans before, all right.
>You walked over and produced your secret weapon.
"Lollypop?"
>He frowns.
>"Uh, no. No thanks."
>Strange. Humans love sweet things.
"Are you sure? It's strawberry flavoured!"
>"Sorry, have you confused me for a 7 year old schoolgirl? I don't want a fucking lollypop, Jesus Christ."
>You tut, walking over to your notepad and writing a few things down as he sits there and huffs
>He's clearly very intelligent, speaking in whole sentences. And he was initially polite, suggesting a degree of training
>But he responds poorly to the promise of rewards, and knows curse words. Classic signs of an unhappy upbringing.
>You learned long ago not to get angry at the humans you evaluate. Most of them had crummy owners in the past. It was your job to help them, not punish them.
>Besides, grumpy humans had nothing on grumpy kids. You knew that for a fact.
>You look up and smile at the human, who is watching you warily.
>He looks like he'd bolt off at any point if he wasn't cuffed to the bench by his wrist.
"Well, if you change your mind, just let me know. Now, I'm going to ask you some questions, so do your best to answer them, OK?"
>"...Sure. Uh, look, sorry for swearing." he says, holding a hand up in a show of contrition.
>Awww, he feels bad for being a grump. What a sweetie pie!
>You call him a good boy, which make him frown again.
>He goes to say more, but you've already started your first question
"So, can you tell me who your last owner was?"
>He hesitates, his face going blank
>You give him time to answer, but you get ready to take his answer with a pinch of salt
>"I, uh, don't remember?" he says.
>You stare down at him in your best Mom face
>He wilts a little, as you suspected he would
"Now, dear, you need to be honest with me, OK? It's for your own good. Can you be a-"
>"Look, honestly, I couldn't tell you." he says, interrupting you. Now he's back to being rude. It's so hard to get a read on his mood and attitude compared to normal humans.
>He barrels on as you pause, not used to being interrupted by your charges
>"I woke up in an alley and everything's fucked, ok? I'm cold and tired and I don't know what's gong on."
>His voice breaks a little towards the end. He's visibly distressed.
>You walk over and start making soothing noises as his eyes water.
>"Stop that. I'm not a kid. For fuck sake, can't you.."
"Shhhh."
>You press his forehead against your chest. He struggles for all of a second before deflating, not quite crying but dancing on the precipice.
>"I don't know what's going on." he repeats.
"Shhhh. It's ok. Shhhh."
>You pat the back of his head and wonder what happened to him
>Again, no signs of any head injuries, so that rules out a concussion.
>Was he fibbing to avoid talking about his past? His confused distress seemed genuine enough. Humans could learn to lie but not like this, surely...

>Be anon again
>The rest of your time with the plump opposum lady went by in a haze
>You gave as little away as possible, not exactly wanting to reveal that you're not from this...
>Planet? Dimension? Plane of existance? Whatever
>You were also trying your best not to lose your temper, even though being treated like a child was infuriating
>You had this horrible feeling that they treated aggresive humans here the same way they treated aggressive dogs back home
>You sure didn't want to test that theory, at any rate.
>So you sucked it up and soldiered though the questions about training and owners and stuff, still hitting that amnesia line.
>It was technically true that you couldn't remember, and you think that note of honesty rang true enough to at least partially convince your interrogator
>Or maybe she just went easy on you after your mini meltdown
>Either way, you had been led to what was basically a jail cell
>Could be worse.You had seen humans in actual cages, sleeping on dog beds
>Maybe you were getting a proper cell because you were a "smart" human.
>It was the cheetah lady from before escorting you
>She had chatted with the opposum lady for a bit after the questioning
>They both agreed you were unusual, and would require further assessment
>Then they planned on getting you adopted
>You'd be owned. Like a pet.
>You had interjected at that point.
"Are you both for real? You can't keep me as a pet."
>They had both just stared at you
>"Why not?" the cheetah had asked
>It seemed so obvious why not that you had struggled to fully articulate an answer, which didn't help your case
>The opposum had smiled and ruffled your hair
>"Good humans love their masters. You know that, right?"
>Get bent, you didn't say.
>Gotta play this cool. Use your calm reasoning, appeal to their hearts and minds. Go full Atticus Finch on them
>Wait he lost that court case didn't he. Shit nevermind, fuck that
>You arrive at your cell
>"Enjoy your stay, little guy." says the cheetah, gently but firmly guiding you inside with a hand on the shoulder
"This is ridiculous. Arrested for sitting on a bench."
>"For being a stray. Remember? You don't have an owner, so we're gonna find you a new one. Cheer up, this is good news for you!"
>"Oh, word?" you say, from behind bars to the giant alien cat lady. "Well that's great. I feel great."
>You don't think she picks up on your sarcasm. Probably thinks sarcasm is beyond humans.
>Furs are racist as hell, basically.
>"I'll be checking on you. You got my attention, little guy."
"I have a name, you know."
>"You'll probably get a new one"
"What?"
>The thought disturbs you. What if they call you something dumb like Captain Fingers?
>"Well, better be off. Oh, MY name is Nat, by the way. That's N-A-"
"It' got three letters in it for fuck sake!"
>"-T. NAT." she says, ignoring your outburst. "And watch your temper, by the way. No one wants to adopt a cranky human."
"Good!" you shout as she walks off, leaving you alone
>You can hear the scrapes and yelps of humans down the hall, restless in their cages
>Sitting down on your bunk, you put your face in your hands, muting your quiet scream of frustration
>You were tired, stressed and despite the presence of other humans nearby, you felt utterly, utterly alone.

========================================================================

>The next day, after breakfast, you were brought to the chubby opossum lady's office by a burly boar dude
>You tried making small talk with him, he just kept nodding his head and saying "Yes"
>Even after you did the classic "gayboyssayyes" trick
>Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, this one
>Which was just as well, actually. He's like three times your size and weight, after all.
>The human handler stands up from behind her desk, then come and leans over you with a big smile
>"Hiya, buddy! Sleep well?" she asks
>Cute, but you've got a bone to pick with her. You retrieve some brown pellets from your pockets and show them to her.
>She looks down at it, then to you as you stare at her
>Kibble. Fucking kibble. In a dog bowl, no less. Or human bowl, you guess.
>Honestly it hadn't tasted terrible, but that wasn't the point.
>You were a sapient being, you deserved more respect than that, so now you were going to read her the riot-
>Her face melts into a look of adoration and she leans over and hugs you
>"Oh, you're so sweet! He brought me some of his food, Harry, isn't he the best little boy!"
>You want to reply but your face is currently pressed into her chest
>It's not the outcome you were aiming for, but it could be worse
>When she lets go, the opossum takes your "gift" and makes a show of putting it on her desk
>"Thank you very much, Anon!" she says. "Now, before we can get you a new owner we need to just do a few more things. It'll be fun, I promise!"
>She nods to the board behind you. Harry departs quietly as she beckons for you to sit on a chair made for humans
>"So I'm going to ask you some fun, silly questions, and I just want you to answer them as best as you can. Can you do that for me?"
>Hmmm. Must be more behaviour testing or something. Got to be careful how you respond. Don't freak them out, but show how smart you are. Get deep like a fucking submarine
"Sure. Fire away."

>Be Caren
>This is worse than you feared
>You were asking him the simplest questions you could think of, but his answers seemed so confused
>You asked him what made him happy and he started to ramble about what happiness even was
>He'd use big words but you were sure he was just regurgitating snippets of phrases he had heard without fully understanding them
>He mispronounced Aristurtle as "Aristotle" which was kind of adorable. But as a human handler, you felt bad.
>Poor boy doesn't even understand what being happy was! It was a straightforward question and he'd essentially side-stepped it, which was worrying from a psychological perspective. You'd seem some sad stuff in your time, and this was right up there
>You hypothesized that his previous owner was an academic, which might explain his unusually large vocabulary and good training
>Most humans took after their owners after a while, after all.
>And while he had been very grumpy yesterday, he seemed in a much calmer mood today, and he had even brought you food as a show of trust. Perhaps yesterday he was simply stressed due to being on the streets, and potentially underfed as a result
>Yes, the more you think about it, the more you like this hypothesis. You wonder what sort of well-to-do academic could be so cruel to a pet, though.
>Some furs, you think. You'll inform the police of this.
>You see that the human is looking at you enquiringly.
"Oh, sorry Anon. That was a very good answer. Good boy!"
>You go to pet him, but he leans back, avoiding your hand.
>"Uh, yeah. Thanks." he says. "So, guess it's pretty obvious by now that I'm intelligent, yeah?"
"Yes, you're a very smart boy, Anon." you say.
>He groans at this and shifts uncomfortably on the bench, but doesn't say anything.
>You remember that he doesn't take compliments well, but his reactions are getting better, which is a good sign
>Your hope that soon, he'll trust you enough to talk about his past more.

>You ask some more questions.
"What's your favourite thing to do in the park? Do you like to play with other humans?"
>He takes his time answering
>"Sort of. Maybe if they're smart."
>That's good to hear. Smart humans enjoyed each other's company more than the standard breed, so this wasn't unusual.
"And what sort of games do you like to play?"
>"I don't mind a game of soccer."
"That's lovely!!" you say, smiling down at him.
>Kicking a soccer ball about was a good way to get humans to exercise, usually. They loved to chase after it.
"I hear you're quite the little runner!" you add, giggling, remembering what Nat had told you about him.
"Not compared to a cheetah, I'm not."
>He sighs, kicking his legs, clearly frustrated
>Maybe talking about exercise was getting him restless?
>You have an idea that can give you time to study his behaviour, let him work off some energy, and maybe let you see some adorable human play
"Well, would you like to play with some of the humans in here right now?"
>He looks up with a strange look on his face.
>You've noticed that. Humans are famously easy to read, but this guy's face seems to shift quickly between several complex emotions.
>This time he looks halfway between happy and...you want to say thoughtful?
>"That sounds good, yeah." he says eventually. "Are we going outside?"
>Ohoho. You see what he's up to.
>Clever boy.
"They're inside, you cheeky little runaway you. No escape attempts today!"
>Yup, he's back to frowning again.
>You say it as a joke, but you hope he takes it to heart. If he did try to escape you'd have to be a little more strict.
>You pick him up from the bench and set him down onto his feet. Then you take one of his little hairless hands in your own.
>He looks up at you as you do this.
>"Uh, you don't have to hold my hand." he says. "Really."
>You smile and shake your head.
"Now now Anon, we both know why I have to."
>"You make me feel like a child." he says, his voice rising briefly before he stops himself. "Don't hold my hand, seriously."
>Hmmm. Strange one. Most humans found hand-holding very comforting. You decide to let it go for now.
>And grab a collar and leash off of your desk
>"Oh for fuck-no, no leash either!" he says, as he sees you approach with it. "Bad opposum lady! Bad!"
>Eeesh, just when you thought that maybe he was making progress. Something as simple as a collar and leash gets a reaction like this?
>You try to reason with him, but as expected, he's anxious and not willing to listen to you
>And keeps calling you bad, like an owner to their pet. Clearly something he's heard in the past. Sounds pretty weird but you've actually heard it before. It's usually a bad sign
>Eventually you give up with the collar and make him promise not to try anything clever.
>You'll catch hell if he tries anything
>But you do think he wants to see some of the other humans at least. That seems genuine.
>So you both exit the office and make your way to the playpens.

>Be Anon
>You find yourself in what looks very much like a playroom for kids or something
>Lots of bright colours, toys, blocks, and so on
>You've been sat in a little chair made for someone your size. It's blue.
>Across from you sits an attractive woman in a blue dress
>She is vaguely young looking, although it might just be her demeanor and slight case of babyface. Could be a teen, could be in her twenties.
>More importantly, she is human. Just like you
>At least, on the outside. What's she really like, though?
>Neither of you have spoken yet. Caren sat you both down and then scurried off to the doorway to observe you both
>It's kind of offputting. But you're gonna just speak your mind.
>You look around the room and gesture dismissively with your thumb
"I feel like I'm in fucking kindergarten."
>She puts her hands to her mouth and her eyes go wide.
>Caren immediately rushes back onto the scene, standing behind the shocked human and putting her hands (paws? You need to ask about the proper terminology) on her hips
>"Please stop swearing, Anon, Cookie is very sensitive to that sort of language."
>...
"...The fuck sort of name is that?"
>Cookie hides her face in her sleeves
>This isn't going well.
"Sorry, sorry. Hey, I'm sorry, uh...Cookie." you say, aware of the cross looking opposum staring at you. "I..."
>You sigh
"I want to be your friend. I won't say bad words."
>Cookie pokes her face up. You smile and nod, and she seems to trust you again
>"Did your owner leave you behind too?" she says.
"I can't remember. I woke up behind an alley. It's been pretty confusing."
>"Oh. That's sad." she says.
"Your owner abandoned you then? That's rough. Sorry to hear that."
>She looks very sad for a moment, but soon brightens up, and then stands
>"Do you want to play?" she says, pointing towards a toybox
>OK this is getting weird. She's like a grown woman and she's asking you to play with trucks or dolls or something
>Caren looks down at you with anticipation
>Fine

>Be Caren, walking back to the kennels with the human
>Your idea worked perfectly!
>You finally got to see Anon socializing normally!
>Well, he was still a little shy playing with those
toys
>And he did seem to be spelling out a VERY naughty word with the building blocks before you intervened
>But apart from that he seemed like a normal human!
>When he had to say goodbye to Cookie, he seemed really sad
>In fact he had seemed kinda mopey since you had left the playpen. You try to cheer him up
"Don't worry Anon, if she's still her tomorrow we can do this again!" you say
>Cookie seems like she'd be a popular adoption candidate so you're not sure how long the cutie would be here for, but you hope to see them play again
>Anon's right hand trails lazily against the wall as you walk him back
>"She's a nice girl." he says. "What do you think of her?"
"Oh she's wonderful, isn't she?
>You're being completely honest. It'd only been a few days,but everyone adored Cookie.
"Isn't she so polite and well behaved?"
>Anon is silent. You continue your subtle attempts to make positive connections to good behaviour
"She'll get a really nice owner, I bet. Maybe a family. Wouldn't that be nice, Anon?"
>The sound of hungry humans grunting and banging around starts to grow. You raise your voice
"Why yes, I'm sure smart, polite and friendly little humans like Cookie will always find a loving him if they-"
>"You think I'm crazy, don't you."
>You stop, right at the end of the corridor leading up to Anon's kennel, feeling your hair rise up a little as you look down at him
>He's staring up at you, hard.
"A-Anon, no! That's a terrible thing to say!"
>"You showed me that girl to show what a "normal" human acts like, right?" He says, making sarcastic little quote marks with his hands
>You stutter a response. I mean...maybe he's a little right.
"I...that's not...What I mean is, Cookie's a fine young human, and you could learn a lot from her." you manage over the din of humans in cages
>He bangs his fist against the wall
>"She's like a kid! I'm not a kid! You.."
>Another human handler-Georgia, a small and gentle ewe-sees the unleashed human throw a strop, and looks at you. You motion at her to stay.
>"You and your fucking master race of oversized beanie babies see me and what's your reaction? Denial!"
>He's practically shouting now. Oh dear.
>He points to the humans in cages.
>"That one,with the beard! He's sniffing his bum and yelling! He's fucking crazy!"
>He points to himself
>"Not crazy. Easy!"
"Anon, please calm down. Don't be a bad boy."
>Harry has now also appeared on the scene, looking ready to go in and restrain him. Again, you raise a paw and stop them
>You continue to calm the human down, crouching and making shushing noises
>He ignores you and walks straight to his kennel, leaning against the door with his arms crossed, still staring at you
>"Go and have a think about what you're doing." he says. "I'm not crazy. You're all fucking crazy."
>His anger seems to have dissipated. Just like the other day in the office,he now just seems very down, although at least he's not crying.
>You close the door on him and then crouch down again.
"Anon no one's crazy. You're just different, and that's fine
>He stares at the wall.
>You feel very sad as you walk away
>You just want to help him...

>Later that day
>You fumble with your lighter as you stand outside
>It's kinda windy out. You try your best to shield the flame with your paws
>"I thought you quit?"
>You turn. There's a cheetah in uniform approaching.
"Oh, hey Nat. Where's Vic?"
>You let the smoking comment slide. Your attempt at quitting lasted all of two weeks
>Vapes just weren't the same.
>"Vic's inside. Found another stay. Lot of them around this time of year, huh?"
>Statistically that wasn't true, but you choose to take a drag on your cigarette instead of getting pedantic.
>"So, about quitting that-"
"H-hey so what about that human you brought in the other day, huh? Crazy or what!"
>Nat frowns as you exhale but takes the bait.
>"How's he doing?"
"Not...great." you say.
>You tell her about his behaviour. The mood swings, the lack of trust, the bad language despite being so obviously well trained
"It's bizarre. You ever seen it before on duty?"
>"Hey I just bring 'em in sometimes, you're the handler. You tell me."
>You grumble in frustration, taking another puff of your cigarrete
>Nat leans against the front of the building, her cat's eyes shut in thought
>"I have a theory, though." she says.
>You're all ears.
>"I don't think he's cut out living in a kennel. Being cooped up like that. He's too smart for that, too active."
>Did she even listen to literally anything you just said
"He's not suitable for adoption yet. Too many potential issues."
>"Hmm..."
>Nat clearly disagrees with you. But you're the one assessing him. You're not gonna take the risk.
"Nat, just imagine he went to some nice family and freaked out on them?" you say, trying not to sound like your mom the first time you tasked for a human as a kid
>"I'm not saying you should dump him with 2.5 kid household. Maybe, I dunno, someone who lives alone."
>You stub your cigarette out and ponder this.
"It'd have to be with someone he trusts, or knows.."
>Hang on...


>You are Anon,and you are deep in thought
>You're not sure what the best path is in this crazy, senseless world
>Should you assert yourself more? You could maybe Mahatma Ghandi this shit. Non-violent protest and all that
>But it seems risky. And they've not really been open to the idea of a human as smart as they are
>Playing along is probably the right choice...technically.
>But it's hard. Everything is wrong. You've never been a good actor, or good at hiding how you feel.
>Hmm...
>There is an eerie silence in the room all of a sudden
>You're aware that people are looking at you expectantly.
>Oh right. You were, aha, "socialising"
>Too bad you were paying zero attention
>You and two other humans are citting in a rough semi-circle on plastic kids chairs
>The sheep lady from earlier is taking this session. She's a little shorter than most furs, and seems kind of shy.
>"Did you hear us, Anon?" she bleats, smiling patiently. "Boss was talking about his favourite games. Weren't you, Boss?"
>A very large, very muscular and bearded human is crammed onto the seat to your right
>He's missing an eye. He looks bad enough to rescue the president several times over
>He turns to you, his remaining eye icey blue
>His voice is deep and gruff
>"I like trucks" he says.
>"Oooh, ooh, I like trucks too!" says Cookie, rocking on her chair to your left.
>Everyone looks at you again.
>...
>"Trucks are fine."
>Boss nodds solemnly at your words as the ewe nods, penciling something down.
>"And Anon, you like to play..."
>The sheep looks down at her notes
>"Soccer! Huh, really?"
>Man you don't even like it THAT much, you just didn't want to say videogames, or "shitposting on 4chan"
>You hope they don't get Boss to play you at it. He'd break you in half like a twig
>Thank god you didn't say football.

>Days pass
>You're sitting around in your kennel one evening. At least you're pretty sure it's the evening, judging by how long it's been since you last ate
>Cookie was gone
>You hadn't even got to say goodbye. She had been adopted in the morning
>Caren had told you when she had brought you food
>Cookie wasn't your friend. Not really. You don't know if you could really call any human in this world a "friend".
>They could talk and play and all that stuff, but was something missing when you looked into their eyes. You were different.
>But still, you hoped at least she was happy now, wherever she was.
>Cue tearful musical number in your own head
>You were just at the uplifting key shift when Caren appeared again
>"Hey!"
>You snap out of it and hope she didn't see your lips mouthing words to a made up song
>Trying to get a "I'm not crazy" thing going here
>The possum lady seems nervous about something today
"Everything alright?"
>"Oh yes, thanks! Actually, I have some great news!"
>Hmm. Your natural pessimism kicks in hard about now. This might get weird.
>"So..."
>She's stalling, fidgeting with her paws and stuff.
>"...How would you like to come and live with me?"
>...
>Oh.
>How on earth had you not sen this coming?
"You're adopting me?"
>"If that's alright with you, then...yes. I think you'd be a lot happier outside of this place, right?"
>That's probably true...
"So did you just claim first dibs or something? Is that a thing you can do if you work here?"
>She laughs
>"Haha, well..."
>She leans in and lower her voice, like she's dropping some hot info
>"I think you're just too smart for regular owners. Right? Don't you think that?"
>She winks
>Is she trying to do sneaky mind games or something
>I mean she's right but still, come on girl, be more subtle
>You nod anyway, and she beams
>"But I can give you the care you need! What do you say?"
>You hated the idea of being a pet. Hated it
>But this was probably your best option for now
>That walk from your kennel to the reception area felt very strange
>Like getting out of prison, but then going to another, possibly comfier prison
>You passed the rows and rows of caged humans for what you hoped was the very last time
>You ain't going back to jail, no way.
>You walked behind Caren the whole time. She offered a paw but you declined it
>You're at least a little optimistic that you can turn her round on you. You're smart, and she must know it
>She fills out some paperwork as you wait patiently by the desk, and then...
>Outside. Not quite a free man, but still
>It's bright as hell. You shield your eyes from the sun
>"Come on, Anon! This way!"
>Caren pats her thighs as she beckons you to her car
>Hahaha what a piece of shit. Well,whatever
>She opens the door for you and you climb into the front
>At least it's clean inside
>Caren straps you in as best she can and promises to drive slowly for you
>As she drives you stare out the window
>Furs of all kind walk the streets. Big ones, even bigger ones, ones that are smaller than the big ones but still pretty big
>Furry ones, scaley ones, feathered ones
>And of course the odd human on a leash. You keep a hopeful eye out for Cookie but you don't see her
>Caren switches the radio on. You are fairly certain the first song you hear is a rapping rhino. He has a horn, and that leads to a lot of witty wordplay
>"Oh, sorry, that's a little too much for you I bet, haha!" says Caren, turning the dial over
>Oh it's pop now.
>She looks at you for a reaction
>You stare back, indifferent
>"Do you like music, Anon?" she asks
>You tell her some of your favourite bands
>"That's...nice."
>Ah, now this feels like being home again at least.
>You wonder if those bands even exist in this world
>Or at least some awful furry version.
>You picture a bunch of identical grey cats dressed like Kraftwerk. Or four beetles with moptops
>Heh.


>Before you know it, Caren's pulled up near a small apartment block
>Must allow pets here. Isn't that nice.
>"Come on, buddy. Out we go"
"Yeah, yeah."
>She leads you inside. Caren lives on the ground floor. Just as well, those stairs look huge and you don't fancy getting carried up like a baby.
>"Welcome to your new home!" she says as the door opens up into what for her would probably count as a tight hallway
>No that's not a joke about her weight
>You trundle after her as she walks into the living room.
>Just your standard living room really. Sofa, TV, ect.
>Shelves with pictures of Caren and other, different possums
>And a pink mug still half-filled with cold coffee left on a coffee table
>"It's not much, but it's comfy, right?" she says.
>She's looking at you expectantly
"Sure. No worse than my old place"
>"Ah, your old owners?"
"No-um..."
>Fuck you really want to just flat out say "No I mean literally my old apartment" but...
"...Yeah."
>She smiles and nods. Then she ruffles your hair.
>Like, hard. Her paw is massive on the top of your head.
>"I'm glad you like it. I hope you feel at home, here."
>You're not sure if that'd be a good thing. This was not your end goal, after all. You should feel a little uncomfortable at all times.
>Because otherwise you might give in.Give in to the easy life of being just a pet
>That's game over That's death, is what that is. You need to resist.
>You feel a finger scratching behind your ear, and you jerk your head away to one side
"Uh, let's watch the scratching and petting and stuff, mmkay?"
>Her face falls immediately
>"O-oh, I'm sorry Anon!" she says."I know you don't like that. Won't happen again!"
"It's fine."
>Hello. awkward silence. Didn't see you standing there.
"..."
>"...W-would you like the grand tour? Haha."
"Sure"
>Man this big ol fuzzy possum girl got real nervous around you all of a sudden. Is it cause she's at home and not on the job?
>Her apartment doesn't look THAT bad...
>There's a cramped little kitchen at the end of the hallway. She's left bread and jars of peanut butter everywhere
>"Uh, sorry if it's messy in some parts. Wasn't expecting to take anyone home, haha!"
>Caren pauses.
>"A-as in pets!" she adds, hurriedly
"Can you cook?"
>"Um...I can make sandwiches, if you'd like. And I have plenty of kibble"
>You eye a bin in the corner. A pizza box is balanced on top of it.
"Pizza's fine too." you say, smiling
>She frowns a little
>"Pizza's bad for humans, Anon."
"Is it good for furs?"
>"Yes. It is."
>Oh damnit you thought you had put her in checkmate with that smart-ass comment
>But pizza IS good
>She fucking Kasparov'd you. Can't argue with that logic
>You were still gonna eat some of her pizza though
>You're led down the hallway. She points out the bathroom
>Good, you were really hoping she didn't have a litter box or something
>"And this is my room.Remember to knock!"
>A massive double bed, at least from your perspective, lies in the middle of the room with the top against the left hand wall. It's hastily made, with black and white covers. There's a laptop lying on it
>Her cupboard door is open. There are many sweaters and jeans inside
>You look around as Caren hastily closes the bottom drawer of her bedside cabinet
"So, uh, do I have a bed?"
>She groans
>"Damnit, totally forgot to buy you one!" she says. "Um, I can go and get you one right now if you want to stay here-"
"You mean like a dog bed?" you ask
>She gives you a funny look. Oh right. A duh-duh, that's not a term here
"I mean, I'd want an actual bed. Not a pet bed. Like in the kennels."
>"Well, again, I didn't really budget for this, but...I'll see what I can do, Anon."
"Thanks. I appreciate that."
>Thus concludes the tour of Possum Towers
>3 stars, would stay again if transported to alternate universe filled with giant furries
>Caren gets changed into a casual outfit while you hang out on the sofa
>"I won't be long now, we can eat after I'm back, OK?"
>Caren's wearing-surprise- a sweater. A big green one, over baggy jeans
>Before leaving she makes a point of shutting all the windows
"Caren, I've commited to this, I'm not gonna run off now."
>"Of course, Anon" she says, as she locks the last window shut. "Now be good when I'm gone, ok?"
>She opens the front door, then turns around to smile one last time at you
>"Good to have you here"
>She leaves
>You're alone again. In a stranger's apartment.
>Well legally she owns you, but still...
>She owns you. Shit. That just sunk in
>You feel your breath catch slightly. That's pretty far out.
>You're caught between the feeling of being alone in a private space and at the same time, being in an alien enviroment
>Everthing's familiar, but built to a bigger scale,
>Just getting up and down off the sofa requires effort
>You pick up a remote and turn on the TV
>A tiger is arguing with a tigress
>"You broke my heart, Tina! You broooke iiiiit"-
"Hahaha, wow. That's bad."
>This tigers terrible acting breaks you out of your mood.
>You flick through the channels.
>Again, so familiar, but so wrong. So different
>Better than being locked up in that kennel, for sure. You're less down. More hopeful.
>After watching some news (surprise, things are still awful in this world) you decide to get a drink
>You've not had anything other than water for what feels like an eternity. You'd do terrible things for a nice cup of joe right about now


>Be Caren
>You have to admit, this is kind of cool
>You worked with humans every day. You seen them come and go all the time.
>But having your very own? For the first time since you were like, 13?
>You already felt an attachment of sorts to Anon. Hell it was why you'd take him home in the first place
>And now you were on a mission to make him happy. Cause he wasn't. Clear as day. And it broke your heart.
>Caren the softy. A human has a tantrum and your heart breaks.
>Why did they have to be so adorable
>You were on your way back from the petstore
>Choosing out a bed had taken a little longer than you'd anticipated.Anon wanted something resembling a proper bed, which they had, but your car was far too small for it
>It'd get delivered within the week. For now either he slept on the couch or you did.
>The things you do for animals
>While you had been down there, you'd snatched up a few little goodies you think he'd might like
>You knew he'd find the simple toys patronising, so you'd opted for some of the more complex ones
>Don't want him getting bored, after all
>Poor guy might be already, cooped up in your apartment with no stimuli
>Or maybe he was asleep. Yeah that seemed a reasonable bet
>You parked in the usual space and gathered your purchases
>Oh god you're actually really curious about what he's doing
>Curled up on the couch?
>Perched by a window?
>Sleeping on your bed? You shut the door, right?
>You put the key in the lock and turn, trying to be quiet
>Bedroom door's shut like you found it
>There's the sound of voices coming from the living room
>You walk in
>Anon's sitting with his feet up holding a can of pepsi that's clearly far too big for him
>He's...he's watching the Simpsons
>"Man the late seasons suck here too..."
"Anon?"
>He nearly spills the pepsi can as he swings around
>"Oh, it's you! Sorry, didn't notice."
>He notices your bag
>"Don't see a bed in that bag."
"Beds take time to order. It'll be here at some point. Do you mind sleeping on the couch until then?"
>He thinks about it
>"Yeah That's fine. This thing's pretty big"
>No, you're just small, you don't tell him
"Thanks, Anon. That's very mature of you."
>"Uhh...ok."
>He turns the TV off
>"So what else is in the bag? Please don't tell me you bought a ball for me to chase."
"No, no! I respect your intelligence. I got you some other neat stuff instead!"
>You bring out your first present: A notepad with several pencils, some of them coloured.
"Do you ever feel like getting creative, Anon? Or writing all your thoughts down when you've got a lot on your mind? I know I do."
>"I was in a band in high school called The Legal Highs."
>You stare at him. He stares back completely sincere
>"I played keys"
>You think of the many thousands of video on youtube showing humans "playing" piano
>You quckly turn away and try not to laugh too hard.
>"Hey I was good! Like, for real get a keyboard or something"
"Maybe I will! Haha. Anyway, yeah, try writing in that if you're ever bored."
>You bring out the other toy for him
>"Is that a fucking rubix cube"
"Anon!" you say, trying to get back into owner mode.
>"Sorry, is that a freaking rubix cube"
"It is!" you say. "Have you seen one before?"
>You start twisting the sides, mixing it up nicely for him
>He doesn't answer, simply taking it off of you when you're done
>These things could keep smart humans entertained for weeks at a time
>He starts twisting it around by himself, brow furrowed over as he thinks
>Hehehe, you can't wait to see him getting all mad and stuff
>Hmm
>Actually maybe that was a bad idea
"Now Anon, just remember that's it's only a game. If you feel like you're gettig upset, just put it down and-"
>He puts it on the coffee table
>It's solved
>"Neat. Thanks, Caren!"
>wat