Seal Clubber Skills

Pastamancer Skills: http://pastebin.com/m0bcehVX
Sauceror Skills: http://pastebin.com/icWgNMFT

Revamped skill
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Batter Up!
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: N/A
	Do you ever get so sick of looking at something that you wish you could just hit it with a club and knock it out of your sight?
	Sure you do.
	Knock a monster into tomorrow -- you won't see that kind of monster again for the rest of the day

Probably not revamped skills, but I didn't check, sorry
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Seal Clubbing Frenzy
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 1
	By finding and clubbing a stuffed seal, you can work yourself into a frenzy.  Your Muscle will increase for a period of time.
	Gives Effect:
	Seal Clubbing Frenzy
	(5 Adventures)
		You're in a mood.  A seal-clubbing mood.  This makes you feel stronger.
		Muscle +2

Thrust-Smack
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 3
	This special combat move combines the honestly and simplicity of a smack with the boldness and vigor of a thrust.  The overall effect is impressively brutal.
	A normal attack that deals double damage if it connects

Lunge Smack
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 1
	By lunging before you smack, you can deal more damage than if you smack without lunging.  Or if you lunge after smacking instead, but who does that?
	A normal attack that deals 5 extra damage if it connects

Lunging Thrust-Smack
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 8
	This is a thrust-smack with a lunge added to it for good measure.  If it connects, it will do triple weapon damage to your opponent.
	A normal attack that deals triple damage if it connects

Super-Advanced Meatsmithing
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You are a master of the Tenderizing Hammer.  The echo of generations of Seal Clubbers reverberates in your muscles as you beat the meat into shape.  Shapes, actually -- the shapes of powerful weapons.
	Allows the Meatsmithing of advanced weapons

Blubber Up
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 7
	Covering your rippling muscles with blubber will make you more difficult to grab onto.  Not that anybody's going to want to, with all that blubber.
	Gives Effect:
	Blubbered Up
	(10 Adventures)
		You're glistening with blubber, like a bodybuilder, or a butcher on a whaling ship.  Also like both of those things, you're difficult to connect with.
		Moxie +5

Fortitude of the Muskox
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Muskoxen are legendarily resilient.  If you cut them, they bleed, but then they stop bleeding and they're good as new.  Now you can be like a muskox!
	Regenerate 1-2 HP per Adventure

Audacity of the Otter
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You become infused with the fighting spirit of the Otter, making your critical hits more critical than usual.
	Critical Hits do 3x damage

Tongue of the Walrus
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	This skill gives you the ability to lick your wounds, healing 30-40 Hit Points and making you feel less beaten up.

Hide of the Walrus
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Your skin becomes as thick as the hide of a walrus, affording additional protection against enemy attacks.
	Damage Absorption +50

Claws of the Walrus
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You become one with the spirit of the War Walrus, adding additional damage to your attacks.
	Weapon Damage +7

Rage of the Reindeer
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	This skill fills you with the rage of thousands of subjugated reindeer.  This rage will make you stronger, especially when fighting guys with beards.
	Gives Effect:
	Rage of the Reindeer
	(10 Adventures)
		You're feeling as fierce as a reindeer.  Your muscles throb with figurative antlers.
		Weapon Damage +10
		Muscle +10%

Pulverize
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	This skill allows you to smash certain pieces of equipment into their magical essences with a tenderizing hammer.
	Lets you smash equipment

Double-Fisted Skull Smashing
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	This skill allows you to wield a one-handed weapon in each of your hands.  It'll make it much easier for you to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women.
	Allows dual-wielding

Northern Exposure
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	This skill allows you to remember your upbringing in the Frigid Northlands.  You'll be as snug as a bug in a rug, even when the wintry wind whips willy-nilly 'cross your nose.  Think... the opposite of Sam McGee.
	So-So Cold Resistance (+2)

Musk of the Moose
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	By concentrating very hard, you're able to exude moose musk from your pores.  The smell of the musk will make you more likely to encounter monsters when adventuring.
	Gives Effect:
	Musk of the Moose
	(10 Adventures)
		You smell like moose and squirrel.  Actually, just moose.  Monsters can probably smell you coming from a mile away, which will make you more likely to bump into them when you're adventuring.
		Monsters will be more attracted to you

Clobber
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 1
	Adventurer smash!

Hibernate
	Type: Noncombat
	Cost:  1 Adventure
	Using this skill lets you sleep for an entire Adventure, fully restoring your HP and replenishing all of your get-up-and-go.

Cold Shoulder
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You've learned to channel the icy climate of the Frigid Northlands into your blows.  Fortunately, you've also learned to stop yourself from making bad ice puns as you do so.
	Your Smack skills will deal 5 additional Cold Damage

Wrath of the Wolverine
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Have you ever seen a wolverine go after a herd of shrews?  It's crazy.  It just doesn't stop.  It's like every shrew it takes down multiplies its desire to take down shrews.
	Anyway, you're like that, and also every enemy looks like a shrew to you.
	Lets you build Fury by defeating opponents
	(up to a maximum of 3 gallons of Fury)
	NOTE: Only true Seal Clubbers have the fortitude needed to contain Fury.  Other classes are weak, and would be torn apart by it.

Buoyancy of the Beluga
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You can't keep a good beluga down.  In fact, you can't even keep a bad beluga down, because the buoyancy of a beluga is unrelated to the strength of its character.
	Regenerate 1 HP per Adventure for each gallon of Fury

Scowl of the Auk
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	The Frigid Northlands are no place for birds.  Well, no place for happy birds, at least.  This skill lets you be like a bird -- perpetually upset and aggressive.
	Gives Effect:
	Scowl of the Auk
	(10 Adventures)
		You're frowning like a seabird who has finally come home to roost on an iceberg with no seeds or delicious insects in sight for miles.
		Weapon Damage +10

Furious Wallop
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: N/A
	This skill lets you channel some of your Fury (about a gallon's worth) into a powerful, precise strike.
	A regular attack that is guaranteed to be a Critical Hit

Club Foot
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 8
	Through some cruel accident of evolution, 99% of the nerve endings of every sentient creature in the universe are concentrated in their feet.  You've learned to take advantage of this fact by reversing the natural order and bringing the stubber to the toe.
	Weakens enemy defense
	If you are Furious, it also stuns them

Seething of the Snow Leopard
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Snow leopards are always really mad.  You probably didn't know this, because they're also really difficult to see when they narrow their eyes, and narrowed eyes are a classic sign of feline anger.
	Gain additional bonus damage from Fury

Ire of the Orca
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Orcas are always upset about some supposed indignity they suffered in the ancient past.  And they're also really large, so they have more volume to contain their upset in.
	Fury capacity increases to 5 gallons

Thirst of the Weasel
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Weasels aren't native to the Frigid Northlands, so the ones who manage to survive there have done so by being vicious, bloodthirsty little killers.  And given what jerks normal weasels are, that's really saying something.
	Your Smacks restore 1-2 HP per gallon of Fury

Cavalcade of Fury
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 15
	Sometimes you get so mad that just yelling and stomping around aren't sufficient.  Sometimes your anger deserves a parade.
	Consumes all of your Fury and performs multiple savage attacks

Northern Explosion
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 16
	You've learned to unleash the chill winds of your homeland on your unsuspecting, previous-comfortably-warm foes.  It's cold out there.
	A powerful Smack that deals Cold Damage

Precision of the Penguin
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Have you ever noticed that when penguins dive into frigid water, they always land exactly where they intend to?  No?  Well, that's just because you weren't watching carefully enough.  But now you'll be able to, because of the extra precision afforded to you by your newfound similarity to penguins.
	+1% chance of Critical Hit for each gallon of Fury

Pride of the Puffin
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 30
	Like a puffin, you are capable of feats of staggeringly little humility.
	Gives Effect:
	Pride of the Puffin
	(10 Adventures)
		You're as full of yourself as a puffin.  Is full of itself, not full of you.  Unless you've been eaten by a puffin, and also that puffin is really arrogant, in which case I guess both.
		+10 to Monster Level

Non-guild skills:
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Snarl of the Timberwolf
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	This skill makes you all snarly and spooky.  Like a timberwolf.  Timberwolves, if you didn't know this, are both the snarliest and the spookiest animals north of the arctic circle.
	Gives Effect:
	Snarl of the Timberwolf
	(10 Adventures)
		You're imbued with the ferocity and fearfulness of one of the spookiest of the arctic animals.  Anything that's scared of scary stuff had best watch out.
		+10 Spooky Damage

Harpoon!
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 30
	While underwater, you're capable of fashioning any weapon into a makeshift harpoon, and throwing it with deadly accuracy.

Holiday Weight Gain
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	Everybody puts on a little extra weight during the holidays, but you've figured out how to do it any time of the year!
	Gives Effect:
	A Few Extra Pounds
	(10 Adventures)
		You're carrying some extra weight around your midsection.  You won't look as good in a swimsuit, but it's probably good in terms of shock absorption.
		Maximum HP +55

Iron Palm Technique
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 1
	By focusing your chi, or something, you've learned how to make the palms of your hands as hard as iron.  The practical upshot is that you can hold swords by the blade and hit people with the hilt.
	Gives Effect:
	Iron Palms
	(use skill again to remove)
		Your palms are as hard as iron.  Hey, maybe if you melted them down, you could make palm springs!
		Swords count as clubs