Jeff - Zombie Paper

“Uggh...... In theory, it's sound, but I can't work out the precise values on it. Using my own brain, it would take no less than thirty seven days to make this calculation. If only we had a high-capacity computer......”
	“......What calculation?” asked Ness.
	“The frequency. If we can find a way to broadcast a specific audible wavelength, it may attract the zombies and ghosts no matter how far away they are, like how a moth is drawn to certain pheromones. We can lure them all in and then trap them all at once. In other words, it would be something like a Zombie Paper trap, so to speak.”
	“Zombie Paper?” The people in the tent looked at Jeff with very apparent disbelief written all over their faces. “Can you really do something like that?”
	“Why not?” Jeff shrugged his shoulders. “If we gather all the zombies and ghosts to one spot and trap them there somehow, then you can all go home and relax, right?”
	“Certainly, absolutely, definitely, please make it for us!” the townspeople all cried in unison.
	“But, like I said...I can't calculate the exact numbers on it right now......” Jeff sighed, very apologetically, but just then......
	Brrrrrriinnngggg! Something went off in Ness's backpack.
	“Oh, it's that phone!” Ness opened his pack and took out that one-way-only phone. “Yes, hello!”
	“Ness, how are you?” Apple Kid's cheerful voice rang out over the speaker. “I know this is pretty sudden, but that amazing, world-famous scientist Dr. Andonuts has decided to return from his life of seclusion, and is calling on folks from all over the world to collaborate with him. He's teaming up to fight the very same enemy you guys are fighting! This is great! I thought I should tell you about it right away.”
	“Kid?!” Jeff snatched the phone away. “Is this really Apple Kid, the young inventor? It's me, Jeff, the bread connoisseur with the lightning serve, we used to chat all the time over the Maurice School's science SIG!”
	“Wow, really? Hello, then! What are you doing over there?”
	“Please! Input the following equation into your terminal! It's an emergency!”
	“Huh? Well, sure, but...?”
	In one breath, Jeff relayed all the information necessary to calculate the formula. Apple Kid may have seemed pretty laid-back, but apparently he could be very quick when the need arose. In no time at all, they had the calculation ready.
	Jeff refashioned his alma mater's necktie into a headband, and he went through all of the household items the townspeople had brought into the tent – A combination Radio CD/Cassette player, an electric guitar, a car battery...and also things that any ordinary person couldn't have imagined he'd find a use for, like a frying pan, a cat's flea collar, and a tennis racket – and he put together something that looked like a bizarre music box. “I did it!”
	“This is it?” replied Ness.
	“This is...'Zombie Paper'...?” added Paula.
	“Yup,” Jeff replied, grinning widely. “Now, just help me set it up!”
	They planned to use the tent itself as their 'Zombie Paper' trap.
	The townspeople of Threed watched, half in disbelief, as Ness and Jeff climbed a ladder and installed that secret little device Jeff had just put together on the pole in the center of the tent. “Almost there......a little to the right, to the right!” Paula was directing them from below. “Okay, that's just about dead center!”
	Ness and Jeff looked at each other and nodded. Jeff yanked out the pull ring, and started the specially-crafted engine. And Ness opened the lid of the music box! Then they both practically flew back down the ladder.
	Gulping nervously, the townspeople all had the same anxious look on their faces, as they strained their ears to listen. Deep down, they were all feeling quite let down, but none of them had the heart to voice their concerns. They didn't hear anything – not one little thing. Maybe it hadn't worked...?
	“It's alright, it's supposed to be like this,” said Jeff, a bit indignantly. “It's beyond the hearing range of a human being – in other words, it's making a sound that you can't hear with your own ears. The digital meter indicates that it has been set within the proper range. The hard work is done, and now we just wait for the results!”
	Everyone present hurried out of the tent, hid behind hedges or in clusters of trees, kept still and held their breath...and they waited.
	And before too long...... “Wah, they're coming!” “Shh!” “W-woah, holy cow, they just keep coming!” They sure did. It was just as he said. Zombies, zombies, zombies! My goodness, there were so many of them! There were zombies all over the place. A mass of monsters, a gathering of ghouls...zombies on parade!
	Some were wearing clothes that looked like rags, some held their arms out in front of themselves as if they were just learning how to walk, one was so thin and dried out it looked like a skeleton, one was carrying its heads in its hands, one had an axe stuck in its skull, one lost a piece of itself with just about every step, two zombies who seemed to be stuck together at the head hopped forward in unison...and so on and so on...... As if they'd walked straight out of a horror movie, the horde kept coming one after another, each of them trying to get into the tent ahead of the others. In their mad rush, they would bump into one another, trip and fall, and end up in piles on the ground. Some of them were so slow and listless that they were constantly being overtaken by the zombies behind them, and there were others who had a hard time getting into the tent and who were being enthusiastically trampled by the rest. They all seemed so despondent...so puzzled – it was a truly pitiful scene.
	The ruckus continued for about half an hour. The entire zombie procession had finally been drawn within. The area around them suddenly felt so empty. With a whoooosh, a lonely gust of wind breezed through. It felt just like the moment after the curtains rise for a concert in a huge venue. The tent was so full that here and there the sides bulged and squirmed restlessly.
	The townspeople all came out from where they were hiding, cautiously approached the tent, and peeked in.
	“Ooh-haa! It's totally filled with zombies...all kinds of zombies...like zombie anchovies in a can!”

***

Mother 2, Chapter 5