Diplomacy 9

>"Twilight, could you pass the syrup please?"
"Of course, princess."
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>It was getting late, and after such a long, stressful, HORRIBLE day you had realized that you hadn't eaten a single thing
>Nor did Princess Celestia, or any of your guests
>So the princess had everypony come to the royal dining room to get some food in their bellies
>Tonight a special meal was to be prepared
>Your favorite when you were still living in the castle
>Breakfast for dinner, or Brinner as some of the staff liked to call it
>Pancakes, hay bacon, toast, enough syrup to drown a manticore
>Usually, this would just be the thing to put you in a good mood
>You'd eat your bodyweight in Prench toast and pass out at the table and everything would be fine
>But, of course, this didn't happen
>Because some high being was making it their personal mission to make your life miserable
>The royal dining room, since it was the royal dining room, was massive
>This was where the princesses hosted their parties and entertained friends, dignitaries and everything in between
>Because of this it was able to fit both lord Aegis's party and Empress Helga's retinue with ease
>And there lied the problem
>On one side of the room, sitting at their table with their weapons in hand or very close by, were the knights
>On the other side of the room, looking excitedly at the humans, were the nobility of Labyrinthia
>The Empress's cousins, aunts, counts and marcher ladies and dukes
>Some of them were young, some old, and nearly every single one had lost a family member to at least one of the knights in attendance, if what said Ser Hothel was true


>What was incredibly odd however was that none of the heifers were glaring at the humans with looks of contempt or anger, or conveying any of the appropriate responses that one would usually have when sitting across from somepony that had killed a family member
>They were chatting excitedly among themselves, pointing out one of the knights every few moments before giggling like a bunch of school colts; not at all acting like the fierce, mighty warriors that you had seen roaming the castle since you were little
>The Empress seemed to be the worst offender at this
>The big cow couldn't sit still, looking at each of the men like you looked at a new novel series
>More than once she had tried to call out across the room, to ask a knight their name or point out an apparently famous individual, wherein she would cover her face with her hands and repeat the phrase "ohmygosh!" so many times that some of her guards looked ready to throw themselves out of a window
>The knights didn't respond to any of her callings, nor to any of the other minotaurs that worked up the courage to speak with them
>They didn't say a word, they barely ate, and always they were watching the taurs carefully
>Both you and Princess Celestia were sitting at a small, plain table in the middle of the room between the two groups
>The minotaurs, being minotaurs, didn't notice the tension in the room, but you did
>Oh you did...
>It was so thick in the air that you could have dipped it in your cup of hot chocolate and taken a bite out of it
>You had a feeling that if you and the princess weren't sitting where you were, the knights might have gotten violent
>VERY violent...
>"It's very rude for a Princess to stare too long, my dear. Especially when she does so so plainly."
>Blinking, you looked over at Princess Celestia
>Your old teacher was staring at you out of the corner of your eye while she enjoyed a stack of pancakes
>To most,  the tower of food would have been far too much for any one pony to eat
>But you had known the Princess all of your life


>You knew she could eat far more than that
>She WAS the princess, after all
"Oh, excuse me Princess," you said, looking away from the table of knights to pick up your fork and knife
>"There's nothing to apologize for, dear," the Princess said, levitating over a bottle of syrup and adding a healthy amount onto your hashbrowns. "Now eat up. You know how the staff feels when you don't empty your plate."
>You nodded, cutting a square out of your stack and popping it into your mouth
>As you chewed, you looked over at the Empress
"...Princess?"
>"Yes my dear?"
"Do you think it's really a good idea to have everypony in the same room like this together? Especially with what happened today?"
>The Princess hummed as she stuffed a hoofful of hay bacon into her mouth before levitating over the bottle of syrup and upending it into her maw
>You waited patently as the princess chewed and swallowed, letting out a Princess-like burp when all of the food had gone down her gullet
>"Oh, please excuse me," she said, dabbing her mouth with a napkin. "And I have a feeling that everything will be fine, Twilight."
>One of the minotaurs called out
>A knight frowned, pulling his sword from its sheath and placing the naked blade onto the table
"Are you sure? Because it looks like it'll go in the opposite direction."
>"The knights are just finicky because what happened with poor Aegis, nothing more," the Princess said. "If Helga had actually been the one to plan the attack on their lord I'm sure it would be different, but like myself the knights no doubt believe that she didn't do such a thing."
>She cut a chunk out of her stack of pancakes and bit into it, pouring more syrup into her mouth
>"I'm sure these fine fellows dislike these nice heifers as much as they look like they do, but unless their lord specifically orders it I doubt there will be any bloodshed."


>You nodded, helping yourself to another mouthful of pancake
"I hope so."
>"There's nothing to worry about, Twilight," the Princess said. "When Luna finally manages to find our would-be assassin, I'm sure everything will be well."
>Princess Celestia tried to pour syrup into her prench toast, only for nothing to come out
>She frowned
>"Oh my goodness, out already?"
>From the knight's side of the room Anonymous, who was serving the knights, perked up
>Grabbing two bottles of syrup from their table, he scurried over to the two of you
>"Here you go, your highnesses," he said with a bow of his head
>Celestia smiled, taking the bottles from him
>"Thank you very much, dear," she said. "But you didn't need to come over here. I could have just called a servant."
>"We weren't using any of it anyways," Anon said with a shrug. "And a page needs to make sure that the whole room is served."
>You perked up
"So you always have to wait the tables when you eat?"
>"I do, your highness," Anonymous said. "Unless I'm told otherwise."
"And what about your food? When do you eat?"
>"When I can mostly. Sometimes I can only eat after everyone else has."
>Though it didn't sit very well with you that a colt as young as Anon had to stand around like a servant--you WERE a progressive mare after all--you couldn't help but find that incredibly interesting
>"Well, there's no need for you to wait on anypony tonight, dear," Princess Celestia said. "I have more than enough staff to see to everypony's needs. Now go and help yourself to some food."
>Anonymous smiled
>"Yes, your highness."
>He turned, and was about to make his way back toward his table, when something flashes across the Princess's face
>"Actually, Anonymous?"


>Anon stopped and turned right back around
>"Yes your highness?"
>Picking up one of the bottles of syrup, Princess Celestia levitated it into his hands
>"If it isn't too much trouble, could you please take that to the empress? The dear seems to have almost run out as well."
>Anon looked over at the minotaur table, his smile morphing into a look of worry
>"Um..."
>"I thought I'd ask you since you seemed to eager to help," the Princess said, sitting up into her chair. "I'd be very grateful if--"
>"Boy, get back over here."
>Both you, Anon, and Princess Celestia looked across the room to see Lord Aegis making his way toward the table full of knights
>The lord, though still a bit pale, looked far better than he had a few hours ago
>His eyes were sharp and each step he took was purposeful and measured
>The minotaurs perked up when they saw him, and the knights themselves tried to rise up from their seats
>"Sit down, sit down," lord Aegis said with a tired wave of a hand. "Just make room. Give me a chair and some food; I could eat a manticore."
>There was a flurry of movement at the knight's table
>Chairs and plates were moved, and a new chair was grabbed and placed at the center of the table
>Anon, seeing his lord, scurried over to him
>Princess Celestia, watching him go, let out a quiet sigh
>"Horse apples. So close..." she mumbled
>Stopping right next to his chair, lord Aegis looked around the room
>His eyes narrowed slightly when his gaze rested upon the Empress, but he said nothing, instead sitting down with a grunt
>"Stack this plate high, boy," he said, giving Anon a plate as the page stopped in front of him. "I don't care what it is, I just need something in my belly."
>As Anon scurried off to the table full of food near you and the princess, the lord looked over at Celestia


>"Your highness, I would appreciate if you didn't try to wrangle my page into any of your schemes."
>"I don't know what you mean, my lord," the princess said without skipping a beat
>Lord Aegis grunted a thanks as one of his knights passed him a glass of water
>"I've been around nobles for far longer than I should, girl. I know when one's scheming," he grumbled, draining his glass in two gulps
>On the other side of the room, a squeal could be heard
>"He's sooooo cool!"
>Looking over, you watched as the Empress stood up
>You could see the heifer's tail wagging as she made her way around her table toward lord Aegis and his knights
>She was plainly trying her hardest to keep herself from running, her eyes glowing with excitement
>Lord Aegis watched as the minotaur made her way toward them with a raised eyebrow
>His knights weren't nearly as calm, many lifting weapons and pointing them at her
>Oh horse apples...
>You tried to stand up, only for the princess to stop you
>"It's fine, Twilight," she said
"B-But princess..."
>"It's fine. Just sit and watch."
>Empress Helga, who somehow didn't seem to notice all of the weapons pointed at her, stopped just in front of the knight's table
>Her tail flicked left to right before wrapping around her leg; a tell-tale sign of minotaur nervousness
>"H-Hell--Ahem! Good afternoon, my lord," she said with a bow. "It's very nice to see that you're doing good! I mean, awesome! I mean well! Well; that's what I mean!"
>Lord Aegis was silent as he looked the Empress over, drumming his hand against the table
>"Your Holgan's spawn then?" he asked
>The empress nodded
>"Yes sir-- I mean, yes my lord!" she said, beaming. "It's really, really, REALLY nice to finally meet you!"


>Lord Aegis grunted, not taking his eyes off the Empress as Anon placed a plateful of food in front of him
>"I've been told that I nearly throttled you not a few hours ago."
>"You did, but it's fine!" the empress assured, not knowing what to do with her hands. "I mean, I'm okay with you choking me anytime you want!"
>...
>It took a few moments, but eventually the Empress realized what she had said
>The heifer's at the table behind her snickered as a blush worked its way onto her face
>"Very smooth, my lady," a minotaur called
>"ShuttheFUCKupHolgian!" the Empress hissed, staring at lord Aegis nervously
>The lord just looked back at her calmly as he picked up a fork and knife and started eating
>"I suppose that I should apologize," he said, more to himself than to her. "I don't want Drfual hearing about this and giving me Hell..."
>His eyes narrowed as he shoved a forkful of pancake into his mouth and chewed
>Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Celestia lean forward expectantly
>Setting his utensils down to wipe his mouth with a napkin, lord Aegis shook his head
>"Empress Helga I.... apologize," he said with a nod of his head. "If there is anything that I could do to make up for my actions ask and I will--"
>"Can I have your autograph?!" the empress shouted
>Lord Aegis winced at the minotaur’s outburst, and more than a few of his guards nearly dropped their weapons in surprise
>"...I do not write," the lord said. "I would be... happy enough to give you one of my seals if you...."
>Lord Aegis continued to speak but you didn't hear him
>Didn't write?
>What the hay did he mean?"
>He was a lord!
>He should be writing all the time!
>Though you didn't know it, you found yourself sitting up in your chair


"Um, excuse me, lord Aegis?"
>The lord's gaze flinched from the empress to you
>"Yes?"
"Could you clarify what you meant about not writing?" you asked.
>"It' means that I don't write, your highness," lord Aegis said, leaning back into his chair. "I don't trust those damn squiggly lines, so I neither write nor read."
>...
>...
>...
>W-What?
>You could feel the color leave your face
>Your stomach tightened into a ball
>The very light in the room seemed to dim
"You... You don't r-read or write?"
>"No. I never learned. Nor will I."
>Each word lord Aegis said felt like a punch to the gut
>You had fought monsters, tyrants, gods of unimaginable power
>But this...
>This...
>...
>THIS...
>You opened your mouth to say something, what, you didn't know, when you heard a voice behind you
>"My lady! We did as you asked!"
>Everyone in the room turned toward the door
>There, standing in a nice, neat little formation, were twenty incredibly proud minotauri
>Each was carrying a pony under an arm, some of which looked like they had been beaten
>Behind all of them was a very upset and haggered Luna, who was flanked by a dozen of the Night Guard
>"We went out and found a bunch of suspicious looking ponies, my lady," one of the heifer's said, beaming
>Lord Aegis looked at the minotaurs and their captives


>"A small filly looked suspicious to you?" he asked, nudging his head at the shaking filly in her arms
>"Yep!" the minotaur chirped
>You could smell smoke to your left, as well as feel the temperature of the room rising, signaling that the princess wasn't all that happy
>Looking over at the table of minotaurs, you saw some of the taurs noticed this as well, many of their pale and wide-eyed
>Lord Aegis shook his head again, looking down at his food
>"Gods above... how you creatures once had the largest empire in Equus astounds me..."