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First real Stratfor mail from AntiSec

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Jan 16th, 2012
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  1. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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  3. _ _ __ .__
  4. __| || |_______ _____/ |_|__| ______ ____ ____
  5. \ __ /\__ \ / \ __\ |/ ___// __ \_/ ___\
  6. | || | / __ \| | \ | | |\___ \\ ___/\ \___
  7. /_ ~~ _\(____ /___| /__| |__/____ >\___ >\___ >
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  13. .____ .__ ____ ___
  14. | | __ __| | ________\ \/ / _____ _____ ______
  15. | | | | \ | \___ / \ / / \\__ \ / ___/
  16. | |___| | / |__/ / / \| Y Y \/ __ \_\___ \
  17. |_______ \____/|____/_____ \/___/\ \__|_| (____ /____ >
  18. \/ \/ \_/ \/ \/ \/
  19. .___.__ __ .__
  20. ____ __| _/|__|/ |_|__| ____ ____
  21. _/ __ \ / __ | | \ __\ |/ _ \ / \
  22. \ ___// /_/ | | || | | ( <_> ) | \
  23. \___ >____ | |__||__| |__|\____/|___| /
  24. \/ \/ \/
  25. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  26. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  27. Episode #...something. Stratford eats Cocks: lurking emails.
  28. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  31. /*
  32. awesomeness:
  33. 1. An unmeasurable amount of awesomenimity something can produce.
  35. urbandictionary
  36. */
  39. What people are thinking right now about Stratfor hack:
  41. ':'( I want my mommy...'
  42. -George Friedman, Stratfor CEO
  44. '1,2,...3,....what was the next?'
  45. -Ashton Kutcher
  47. 'I'm the One, I'm the messiah, I'm the new Sai Baba, bwahhhahhahh, I'll dominate the world!!!' <--- coocoo
  48. -Rupert Murdoch
  50. 'hmm...the new rhetoric of the lulz, a machiavellian pandemonium full of strong sexual references and intensive recalls to Jung's archetypes. fuck, it's cold in montreal, I'll go shopping...'
  51. -Biella Coleman
  53. 'oh shit, I need to think quickly about something to keep the media attention on me...I need attention...I truly need it..'
  54. -Barrett Brown
  56. 'hmmm...I'll fap to those AntiSec guise whilst Barrett is not looking'
  57. -Emma_A
  59. 'SOPA, no SOPA, SOPA, no SOPA...oh! sweet! coins!'
  60. -President Obama
  62. 'hmm...same trolling shit as usual, I'll go back to WoW'
  63. -Quinn Norton
  65. ':3 i want icecream'
  66. -kayla
  70. Hi guise. Well, we know all of you are waiting for those Stratfor emails. they ll be online soon, in a fucking lulzy awesome way. meanwhile enjoy this lulzy teaser with us.
  72. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  74. From:
  76. To:
  78. Subject: Re: Gray if you ever so much as criticize me again I will hurt you intentionally.
  80. Date: 2011-05-07 23:09:14
  82. Content:
  84. Thanks, Derek. Keep me posted.
  86. -- Mike
  88. On 5/7/2011 4:04 PM, Derek Kerl wrote:
  90. Mike, wanted you to know I just read these after we spoke by telephone.
  91. I will check with Will and Dr. Bach to get more info, including his
  92. follow up RN appointment. Will be in touch.
  93. Derek
  95. On May 7, 2011, at 12:05 PM, Mike McCullar
  96. wrote:
  98. Just when I had my hopes up about the new med. Gray Fuller copied me
  99. this morning on this email exchange with David....
  101. -------- Original Message --------
  103. Subject: Re: Gray if you ever so much as criticize me again I will
  104. hurt you intentionally.
  105. Date: Sat, 7 May 2011 11:25:44 -0400
  106. From: Gray Fuller
  107. To: David McCullar
  108. CC: Mike McCullar
  110. David,
  111. I called you earlier today to talk and catch up. I hope you're having
  112. a good day.
  113. We have talked about the fact that inappropriate emails will not be
  114. tolerated. I am copying your dad because we're friends and I want to
  115. be completely transparent about my communications regarding this
  116. email. This is an example of an email that I will not tolerate. Do
  117. not send another one like it, I'm sorry if this truly represents the
  118. way you feel.
  119. Since you have not respected my requests and continue to use
  120. outrageous emails as a means for attention, I want you to know that
  121. the only action I will take upon getting another email like this is to
  122. forward it on to Mike. Making outrageous threats and berating me is
  123. not the right way to get my attention-I cannot be more clear.
  124. Please know that I'm not doing this to get you in trouble and that I
  125. don't expect Mike to punish you - thats not the point. These are
  126. serious threats and my goal in adding Mike to the conversation is to
  127. create an accountable mediator in the form of someone we both love and
  128. trust.
  129. David, you and I are best friends, we always have been and always will
  130. be - I expect that you will not talk to me this way and I will extend
  131. the same courtesy to you. I think we should try to designate a weekly
  132. time to talk for 30 minutes or so, that way we can keep in touch
  133. better. Does that work for you? If so, I was thinking about 6pm
  134. Texas time on Tuesdays.
  135. Let me know and I'll call you then.
  137. Gray Fuller
  138. On May 7, 2011, at 5:39 AM, David McCullar
  139. wrote:
  141. Gray I hate you. Your ugly ass mother thinks she can boss your dad
  142. and my dad around concurrently and criticize everyone including your
  143. pathetic soulless faggot ass while she has no heart and tried to
  144. offer us sanctimony for losing my mother. Then you told me I
  145. couldn't go to Austin High after I met Jenna Bush there. I have half
  146. a mind to murder you because while you were hiding me in the twins
  147. shadows because I am richer than you Barbara got raped, but your
  148. homoerotic pederast perverted faggot self will throw stones in a
  149. glass house like a son of a bitch when you receive this message
  150. because I am on a pr tyrrade to sabotage your unholy career as the
  151. worst motherfucking operative the White House ever saw while Bush
  152. was in office as governor and president. I will never talk to you
  153. again you stupid motherfucking pussy. Eat shit you faggot. You new
  154. money slave motherfucker die young and see how your kids feel about
  155. it so I can turn the tables on your white trash poor ass and torment
  156. them just like your whore of a mother lawyer bitch did to me because
  157. you owe it to me to be my slave you fucking slave. Don't even cry. I
  158. want to fight you. Don't rationalize shit. I am coming for your
  159. white trash ass and you better run.
  161. -----Original Message-----
  162. From: David McCullar
  163. To: katrinapeterson33
  164. Sent: Sat, May 7, 2011 12:15 am
  165. Subject: Barbara please don't ignore me lady.
  167. Barb,
  168. Why don't you tell me who you have been with that makes you feel
  169. so much more preternatural of a celebrity because of natural
  170. selection and... of course, because your celebrity which is
  171. obviously preternatural because of natural selection was engineered
  172. by democratic arbitration. You can't rob me of my genetic composite.
  173. You're not going to smoke my pineal gland. Did you know that I am
  174. fucking smart and smarter than Robert Pattinson or whoever you have
  175. been trying to be contemporaries with the white trash hoe Angelina
  176. Jolie making porn with, and easily more charming because I am not a
  177. tween automaton? Did you know that the alkaloid of DMT is actually a
  178. neurotransmitter like LSD 25 and 5-MEODMT, psylocin A + B and all
  179. psychadelic drugs because the definition of psychadelia is a
  180. neurotransmitter that the metabolite itself thereof creates a
  181. kaleidoscopic vision of geometric proportions in the pea and pea or
  182. whatever attachment to the pineal gland there is with light cones OR
  183. rods also depending on genetics, and depending on genetics the
  184. chromosomal filtration of certain neurotransmitters within these
  185. rods or cones which also illustrate in the visual cortex apparently?
  186. Have you been fucking any celebrity studs? You shouldn't have been
  187. because they don't understand you like I do and I am the Powhatan of
  188. the Royal American Family, you said I was cute or whatever, I am
  189. losing weight and I love you more than anyone else in the whole
  190. world but we are both desensitized by rape and jihad and porn so
  191. that we don't lust for eachother as much as we do feel bipolar
  192. sexually for other individuals we can abuse or submit ourselves to?
  193. I am really uncomfortable with you submitting to other men and
  194. uncomfortable with how you abused me. I was so nice to you and you
  195. shouldn't be scared that I want to crucify your rapist because I
  196. killed Osama Bin Ladin as the scapegoat from your dad's childhood
  197. for his and mine bombing the Pentagon and WTC's, believe me... I'm
  198. sure he has mentioned it to you and laughed. I went to treatment
  199. after hiding in your shadows, stalking Ben Curtis because I didn't
  200. like him during love at first site, and demonstrating respect to the
  201. Stewards (Martha's family) while at Casis and living in Pemberton. I
  202. didn't get into Yale from treatment because my dad is not as wealthy
  203. as you are, but I would have gone to Yale if my mom hadn't died or I
  204. had stayed at St. Stephens or god forbid my dad's first boss' bratty
  205. oldest son had "let" me go to Austin High. Gray is such a faggot. I
  206. am going to use him from now on like the son of a bitch he is to
  207. sing and play guitar because that is the only motherfucking thing he
  208. is good at including being a best friend, getting married, being a
  209. family man, and being consoling to me after my mother died. Nancy
  210. Fuller is a ridiculous ugly fat bitch who withdrew from our family
  211. when my mom died and thought she was more important because my
  212. family who is richer than theirs lost our Matriarch who was only a
  213. landowner with a college education at the University of Texas and
  214. not some land shark Byron Fullerton bitch lawyer thus distancing my
  215. best friend from me for life and giving him the impression that he
  216. is in charge. I hate the Fullers. I am in love with you and they
  217. offered me sanctimony for grieving the loss of my mother when I
  218. should have been girding my loins for you like Walker and Jenna at
  219. Austin High. Gray wanted to show me all the punk people at your
  220. school who I could not be friends with because my drummer from St.
  221. Stephens thought he was a faggot too and Gray aspires to be more
  222. fascist like Branden Lee Allen wishes he was more Indian when he
  223. takes mushrooms but doesn't know that they were from India who did
  224. that. Just, stupid motherfucking confused dead people. I would kick
  225. Gray's ass too. I know this is personal and close to home, and I
  226. want you to admire your feminine side and let me sweep you off your
  227. feet without all the intrigue that we got started at so young. I
  228. promise you a happy life with me at Stanford and Johns Hopkins or
  229. MIT if you will just be patient with me and plead OUR case to your
  230. relatives. We were going to get married if we could have been the
  231. judge of that? That was so immature when we decided that because we
  232. knew we couldn't... decide, that. We sure can, but its going to take
  233. a lot of work and I just wonder if you are as eager and willing to
  234. get them ready for us as I am? Barb, I am sorry for all the rude and
  235. funny things I said to you in poor taste. I wanted to tease you for
  236. all the ignorance your camp had displayed to me throughout my
  237. adolescence. I know its tough this mutual exclusion manic depressive
  238. bipolar disorder dom and sub self aggrandizement we all want for
  239. ourselves but I feel even keeled with you finally, and just hope and
  240. pray that you will save me from my libido which is so distracting
  241. and you are far prettier than that nasty cock sucker Gianna Michaels
  242. who I wanted to fucking marry for two days because she offered
  243. herself to me for money after talking all sweet and shit, hypnotized
  244. by you though... and not because you are just famous just because
  245. you are my high school lover. I know you didn't have a boyfriend in
  246. high school and I didn't have a girlfriend either. I was meek and
  247. you were not in bloom but at 17 I was more gorgeous than you until
  248. you started straightening your hair which is no big deal, I adore
  249. you. I love your family. I just fear you will continue lying to me
  250. or ignore me like Gray and Walker when I write to you. Please be my
  251. wife Barbara. I could get married in a year to you I think, in holy
  252. matrimony if you would lend your fellow man some compassion and make
  253. me your charity so that I can support a family with you after my MD
  254. is attained in Neuroscience and if you would contact me immediately.
  255. Those guys you like are gross. Stop fooling around, let's get
  256. serious.
  257. lovingly,
  258. David Frederick McCullar
  260. --
  261. Michael McCullar
  262. Senior Editor, Special Projects
  264. E-mail:
  265. Tel: 512.744.4307
  266. Cell: 512.970.5425
  267. Fax: 512.744.4334
  269. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  272. yeah, don't worry, wet pants for us too laughing at that...
  273. Stratfor's mails are full of Lulz.
  274. Stay tunned folks, more is coming!!!
  275. some shits they wrote will be ugly tho...we'll try to keep the lulz up anyway
  278. 2012.All rights and All your base are belong to us.
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