Anon and chryssi

Nov 1st, 2015
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. >you are Anon
  2. >and you have one hell of a splitting headache
  3. >you try to get out of bed, only to find you can't move
  4. >this isn't good
  5. >"well well well, I was wondering when the venom would wear off"
  6. >buzzing voice
  7. >venom
  8. >condescending tone
  9. >looks like you've been ensnared by Queen Bugface herself
  10. >I fucking hate Mondays
  12. Aw, fuck, my god damn head...
  13. >a chuckle fills the air
  14. >"THAT, my strange friend, is not entirely my fault..."
  15. >you groan
  16. >"Mixing booze with the venom can have less than desirable effects, but, now, you have fallen into my web."
  17. Booze?
  18. >"What, my little human? Don't you remember last night at all?"
  19. >you look around the room you are in... Your room.
  20. >This is your bedroom... You feel restrained on your bed by something that feels awfully...
  21. >sticky.
  22. Barhghlke... What did I do last night... Why do I feel sticky?
  23. >Bugbutt cackles
  24. >"You must have drank more than I thought if you can't remember last night."
  25. >with a little bit of concentration, you think back to what ever the fuck you did last night to end up in this predicament.
  27. >To begin with, you remember going from your meager cabin on the far outskirts of ponyville, to the seedier corner of town's pub.
  28. >The pub where everypony knows your name, probably because you are the only human in this world. Also, you drink there a lot.
  29. >Days spent doing odd jobs for folks around town, stuff you are uniquely suited for doing more easily than any of them.
  30. >Nights spent being a lonely outsider.
  31. >All of them are nice enough, but you can tell you make them uncomfortable with your stature.
  32. >The pony at the bar nods when you enter the establishment
  33. >"The regular, Mr. Anon?"
  34. Yeah, yeah, a buck beer, put it on my tab.
  35. >You sit down at your regular spot at the bar, looking comically large, almost like an adult riding on a child's bicycle.
  36. >After an hour or so of occasional chit chat with some of the other regulars who have become used to your presence and seem to enjoy your tales from your own world, you are approached by a pony you had never seen before.
  37. >A blue mare, unicorn, with a green mane.
  38. >she sits down next to you at the bar, as you order another drink.
  39. >"So, I suppose you are the Mr. Anon that is the subject of all kinds of gossip around Equestria"
  40. Hmm?
  41. >you turn to look at her.
  42. I suppose so. Only one of my kind, and I stick out like a basketball player at a jockey's convention around here.
  43. >"A what player at a whoosit convention?"
  44. Nevermind, stuff from home. What can I do you for? I don't think I've seen you around town, and definitely not here at the pub.
  45. >A subtle smile flashes across her face
  46. >"Yes, I am from out of town. I do... research on happenings around the world, and you seem like an interesting case."
  47. >you shrug
  48. >"I'd like to spend some time talking to you, recording stuff about you."
  50. Meh, that Twilight Sparkle has talked to me a little bit, but I think she's gotten distracted more recently.
  51. >"Yes, I'm sure her royal duties keep her busy from things like, oh, looking into alien creatures appearing out of no where and moving into the same town she lives in"
  52. >you nod
  53. Yeah, I guess once they figured out I wasn't a threat to national security, I've mostly been left to myself.
  54. >you grab your fresh beverage from the barkeep, and take a nice deep swig.
  55. >"Well, if you want to share some of your story, I could help quash some of the various rumours flying about the nation."
  56. >with a thoughtful rubbing of your chin, you think for a moment.
  57. >More of the ponies knowing about you might make you less of a pariah. Though you know this world has its tabloids too..
  58. Who exactly are you?
  59. >Upon closer inspection, her ass mark is a piece of paper and pen... definitely some kind of journalism or writer for sure
  60. >"Me? Why, I am Sunny Scribbles. I do investigative journalism."
  61. >with a look to the barkeep, you ask...
  62. Hey, you ever heard of her before?
  63. >The barkeep shrugs
  64. >"Not really, though I don't do much reading of that kind of stuff... Rots your brain."
  65. >Sunny Scribbles frowns
  66. >"*I* am NOT one of those kinds of writers. I am offended... though I should imagine a small town like this is lacking in culture"
  68. >The barkeep shrugs once more
  69. >"Whatever lady. You gonna buy a drink?"
  70. >The unicorn ignores the barkeep, and speaks to you again
  71. >"I can assure you, I will only share the truth! So, are you willing to speak to me about your experiences?"
  72. >you nod
  73. "Why not. Though..."
  74. >you shake your drink at her and smile
  75. >she rolls her eyes, pulls out a small coin purse from her saddle bag.
  76. >"Rest of Mr. Anon's drinks this evening are on me, barkeep"
  77. >Fuckin score, free booze! And all I gotta do is tell some bullshit to this lady.
  78. >You remember recounting various tales of home, about technology, culture, and the stuff you did.
  79. >The hours rolled on, and the unicorn looked to be taking some detailed notes about what you had been saying.
  80. >"LAST CALL!"
  81. >you look bewilderdly at the barkeep
  82. Whoa, already? Time is flying tonight... One more beer before I hit the road though.
  83. >Sunny scribbles grabs your attention once more
  84. >"So, about what you said earlier... What is this basketball, and why would a person who plays it stick out amongst these 'Jockeys' you speak of?"
  85. Well, basketball involves a bunch of really tall dudes throwing a ball around, to eventually get it thrown into a basket on top of a tall stick and Jockeys... They are short dudes who ride on...
  86. >hmm... Thats kinda awkward
  87. They are just short dudes, yeah...
  89. >You continue your discorse with Sunny Scribbles for a short while longer before the next call from the barkeep
  90. >"Closing time! Closing time! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!"
  91. >you stand up, and look at the unicorn you have been talking to.
  92. It's been a pleasure to meet someone who is willing to listen to me ramble on for hours AND pay for my drinks. I suppose I'll see you around?
  93. >She smiles
  94. >"I'd still like to keep talking, if you dont mind."
  95. >you shrug casually
  96. Eh, whatever. Its probably a 15 minute walk back to my place if you wish to follow me, though its a little ways out of town. We can talk during that trip if you want, but I need to get to sleep once I get back. Got a lot of stuff to take care of there tommorow.
  97. >Sunny scribbles gives a pleasant smile
  98. >"That is perfectly fine... You are quite the interesting creature."
  99. >You remember walking home, pulling out your key to your door, waving a farewell to Sunny scribbles, then...
  100. >That bitch!
  102. >be Chryssalis
  103. >You watch as the strange creature before you seems to go into deep thought for a few moments
  104. >This target was too easy... The lonely bastard was so starved for attention and booze, your offer to talk to him for a while made it easy to get out to his abode, which is the perfect place to figure out more about him.
  105. >Forcefully.
  106. >He could very well be a powerful weapon in infiltrating the ponies.
  107. >He could also be a fucking useless waste of biomass, but that is to be determined.
  108. "So, little Hugh-mann. You have fallen into my clever trap! I wish to know a great many things about you. Cooperate, and I will be graciouis. Do not, and face my wrath!"
  110. >Be Anon
  111. >God damn, your head fucking hurts
  112. >Note to self, drink less Buck Beer in the future
  113. Ugh... Lemme guess, you are that changeling queen who invaded the pony captail back before I showed up on this planet. Made a big mess of stuff for yourself when your clever ploy was figured out.
  114. >The large, bug like pony above you scowls
  115. >"Hmph. You are more versed in this land than I thought, little mon-keigh. Yes, 'tis I, Queen Chryssalis."
  117. >From what little you remembered reading at the local library, and from listening to the locals talk about this, Chryssalis is a changeling, a pony-like creature who can shapeshift, and that it feeds off emotions.
  118. >Wierd shit, all over this damn planet you've found yourself on.
  119. So, what the hell do you want with me?
  120. >"I wasn't lying entirely when I was talking to you at the bar. I want to know about you. You are an anomaly, a unique specimen to this planet, so far as I can tell, and I have eyes and ears everywhere."
  121. So, why this sticky cocoon bullshit?
  122. >"Because I don't need you trying to do something dumb like trying to start a physical altercation with me."
  123. >you move your head around slightly, as much as you can.
  124. >"And, even more lucky for me, you are practically a hermit, and no one ever comes out to visit you. I have all the time I need to glean what I need from you."
  125. >Fuck. She's right. Damn this cheap, rural property.
  126. >"So, first, lets test some magic, now that we aren't in a pub full of ponies, and you are awake to make it easier to observe the effects."
  127. >The large bug-like pony's horn glows green, and a bit of that energy flies towards you, making your vision go green for a moment.
  128. Huh, that tickled a little bit. What the fuck was that supposed to do?
  129. >Chryssalis' face now has a particularly large frown across it.
  130. >"N-Nothing. Just a simple test"
  132. >Be Crhyssalis
  133. >Thats incredibly odd... the mind controling spell doesn't seem to effect this ape at all.
  134. >That suddenly makes him much less useful for your purposes
  135. >And much more dangerous to have around, now that you have shown yourself
  136. Yes, just a smiple test.
  137. >Now what?
  138. >Perhaps you could use your natural feminine wiles to talk him into working with you
  139. Anyway, little hugh-mann, you never DID tell me how you got to this world.
  141. >Be Anon
  142. >Bugbutt seemed awfully worried when that spell didn't really do much to you
  143. >"Anyway, little hugh-mann, you never DID tell me how you got to this world."
  144. >You roll your eyes
  145. I was working in my lab, late one night, when my eyes beheld a sudden flash of light. I then found myself standing front of some purple pony, who looked rather confused to see me.
  146. >Fucking twilight.
  147. I shouted a few obscenities, the pony screamed, and I discovered some kinda bullshit magic pulled me here, and no one knows how to get my ass home.
  148. >Chryssalis suddenly looks much happier at that news
  149. >"Oh really? I don't suppose that purple pony is the one and only Twilight Sparkle?"
  150. Yes. She brought me here with her magic, and doesn't have the time to figure out some way to fix this shit and get me home. At this point, I've just become resigned to the fact im stuck here.
  151. >"So, she isn't much on your good side then, eh?"
  152. Meh. Horrible lab accidents happen in my world, and what she pulled off is apperantly this worlds equivalent. She atleast arranged for this cheap property and gave me my first odd job hookups
  153. >Bugpone's smile grows weaker
  154. >"Shame... She is definitely someone I am not a fan of."
  155. Oh yeah, isn't she specifically the one who saw through your plan in Canterlot? Yeah, I could see you being pissed. But, I gotta float on, and deal with this world as I can.
  156. >Twilight might be the reason you are here, but despite general inatentiveness from her, you are set off reasonably well.
  157. >House, basic work to keep yourself sane, AND last time you spoke, you talked about even setting up a proper science lab in this magical world.
  158. >"Well, I might be able to offer you more than some silly princess of equestria. I am a queen, and I have my fingers in every nation of this world. I have more power than you could imagine!"
  160. Well, you might very well have such power, but you sure are an ass compared to these ponies. Worst they did once I got here was stick me in a jail cell for a few hours. Much less sticky, much more ability for me to stretch.
  161. >"You will suffer for your insubordination!"
  162. >Green magic crackles forth from the horn of the now upset queen, and strikes you in the face.
  163. >For a moment, nothing.
  164. Again, what the fuck was that?
  165. >Again, a frown on Chryssalis' face
  166. >Then, your nose.
  167. >It starts to itch like a motherfucker.
  168. >And your hands, are held against your body, unable to rectify the situation.
  169. An itchy nose? Really?
  170. >She raises an eyebrow
  171. >"That was not the intended effect, little beastie, but I imagine, it is quite... anoying given your current predicament."
  172. >She then lets out an unpleasant chuckle.
  173. >Oh shit... this is gonna get really annoying, really fucking fast.
  175. >an undeterminate amount of time later
  176. God damn it, just let me itch my nose, and I'll atleast seriously consider the shit you want me to do
  177. >This shit should be a war crime.
  178. >"Yes, my puppet, respect my authority! Mwahahahaha!"
  179. Shit, you practically have me eating out of your hand. Tell me what you want so I can consider this shit.
  180. >Her smile grows particularly large
  181. >"Well, Anon, at the moment your despair is quite delicious. I might have to stretch this out a little longer, and enjoy this wonderful flavor"
  182. >Fucking sadists.
  183. >"So, all my chit chat with you has let me learn a number of things."
  184. >ugh... monologueing
  185. >"First, you aren't terribly happy here. You drink heavily to drown your sorrows."
  186. Keen observation, einstein.
  187. >"Einwhat? Anway, Secondly, I believe you could be an agent for me. A damn good agent."
  188. After this shit you are doing to me, why would I want to work for you?
  189. >fucking itchy nose, now the back of my head and bottom of my feet are itchy and there is nothing I can do inside this damnable cocoon.
  190. >"Because... I have power, and connections. You want home, I want someone who can simply watch that damnable princess of friendship. You have a better in than any of my minions to get close to such an important pony.
  191. I thought you and your people could take the form of just about any creature native to this planet?
  192. >"Yes, well, important ponies are more careful as to who they talk to and spend time with. Replacing another pony temporarily is tricky. You already have the in, and I won't have to have one of my own replace somepony else, or try to build a new relationship."
  193. >You think as well as you can with all this mental fuckery coming from all these damn itchy parts of your body
  194. **
  196. You know what. Let me out of this damn cocoon, and fucking sure. I'll keep an eye on purplesmart, and you hook me up with stuff.
  197. >Bugbutt claps her front hoofs together joyfully
  198. >"Yes! I knew you would come ot see my point of view!"
  199. Uhh... cocoon please?
  200. >she stops clapping, and looks to you
  201. >"Oh yeah... Can fix that for you."
  202. >Her horn once more flashes with green crackling energy, that shoots forth and hits the cocoon holding you in place.
  203. >the cocoon disintegrates freeing you from your sticky, gooey, prison.
  204. Oh god, sweet relief.
  205. >you proceed to vigorously itch all the places that are in dire need of it.
  206. >after a few minutes, you are back to feeling ok. Still slightly sticky, but ok.
  207. Ok, so, what exaclty do you want me to keep an eye on?
  208. >"I want you to follow her comings and goings, who she spends time with, and if you can, spend time actually interacting with her. Provide me with the information I request, and I can send agents to get you the things you want. Information, goods, whatever you need."
  209. >you shrug
  210. Sounds easy enough. She owes me, and had shown some interest in the idea of my lab. Assuming the world doesn't go all to hell, she should be spending a lot of her time here in down, from what I've heard from locals who have been around longer than myself.
  211. >you think for a moment
  212. What exactly are you planning to use the information I give you for?
  213. >"Revenge, of course. The Canterlot affair was terribly embarassing. I need food for my people, and ponies are ideal targets. Sucessfully infiltrating and taking control of Equestria will throw that feeling of embarassment back to the princesses, AND, feed my people!"
  214. >Vengeful bitch, isn't she?
  215. Aight. Just keep me out of dodge when that shit goes down.
  216. >She smiles slyly
  217. >"Of course! I do good things to those who support me and my causes. Remain loyal, and prosper. Cross me, and well... It wont likely end well for you if you do."
  218. Aight. How do you want me to pass this information to you?
  219. >"Ah, yes, how silly of me to forget the most important part. I will send one of my minions to contact you on a regular basis. I think I will have them take the form of that unicorn I was using last night. Pass the information to them, and it will get to me."
  220. >you nod
  221. Fine. I'll keep you informed.
  222. >the bug-pony turns to leave your simple abode.
  223. >as she reaches the front door, she turns and says one last thing to you.
  224. >"Remember, cross me, and you will not live long to regret that decision."
  225. >She assumes the form of a pegasus, opens the door, and flies away.
  226. >What a fine situation you've gotten yourself into, Anon.
  227. >Fucking mondays.
RAW Paste Data