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- >"Paging Dr. Nate."
- >You know, they don't always have to say that when you have an appointment or an emergency
- >This isn't a hospital, it's a vet
- >You say a quick goodbye to Faggoty Anon (Raggety Ann? Fuck you.)
- >You hope to god he takes your advice and metaphorically drowns that cumstain Skittles in that anti-shock spray
- >You turn around to face the waiting room; you were right at the door
- >According to your secretary, your next patient is a guy and a small lavender-colored unicorn named lavender
- >Creative naming there, slut
- "Mr. Grace?"
- >This guy comes up immediately; all the concerned ones do
- >"That's me."
- "Get over here, man. Let me see her."
- >He walks with you down the hallway and you give lavender a look-over
- >In your office you set the mare down on your table
- >It's just sitting there
- >Not asking to pway or for skapetties, or any of that
- shit
- >Frankly, it's kind of beautiful
- >A comatose fluffy pony
- "I don't see any problems with it."
- >"What? It's just sitting there, man!"
- >
- "I don't see how that's a problem."
- >"Ha fucking ha, this is serious. She's been like that for a week now, I haven't found a way to snap her out of it."
- "Uh huh. Look, I understand your concern, fluffies almost never act like this, but this doesn't seem like a medical problem. You should find, like, a fluffy pony therapist or something."
- >"They have those?"
- >You don't fucking know
- "I don't know. If they don't, look on craigslist for fluffy pony studs, that should cheer her up."
- >He is visibly upset by your more-than-liberal attitude
- >"Come on, man! Can't you just, like, give her a check-up? There's gotta be something wrong with her that's making her like this!"
- >You sigh like a teenage girl
- "FINE."
- >You give lavender; The Look-Over
- >>Temperature check
- >>Eye exam
- >>Urine examination
- >>Checking of blood-pressure using a testing device that resembles a rubber band
- >>You even perform a blood-test on her because she's to depressed to squirm away from the needle
- >>The sight of her just taking it is visibly shocking her daddy
- "Alright. That's that."
- >"That's that?"
- "Yep, just waiting on the results of the piss test. I still haven't seen those, but I'd say so far that she's the picture of health."
- >The owner is almost in tears
- >"Jesus, man... you know, it wouldn't be as bad if I just knew what was wrong with her."
- >Another sigh
- >You look to Lavender
- >She's just sitting there. Awake, but not making any eye contact or moving at all.
- >She's like those pictures of starving African kids you laugh at so much
- "I'm sorry, dude, but there's nothing more that I can do. This is a psychological problem, most likely. Has she experienced anything traumatic lately?"
- >He stares down a bit and his eyes go wide
- >But you don't pay attention
- >Because the analysis machine just beeped: popcorn's ready
- >You turn to investigate the results of the piss test
- >As you hypothesized; nothing is fucking wrong with Lavender
- >HOWEVER
- >It does say that she has been subject to pregnancy
- >Huh
- >You turn to Mr. Grace with tears in his eyes
- >Okay, you've seen enough abusive owners to know where this is going
- >You take Mr. Grace outside the room to talk without Lavender hearing
- "Alright, spill it, what did you do?"
- >
- >
- >"I may have been too harsh with her."
- "What did you do, nigger."
- >"Okay, I got her from a pound where they all had this "outside time" thing every day. I live in the city, so I can't just let her play in the street! But one time these religious fucks came to the door and she just rushed out, and I found her getting humped in a fucking alley!"
- "Uh huh."
- >"Whatever I was doing, she just wasn't getting that she's not supposed to play outside! So I, you know, let her go full term!"
- >
- "Uh huh?"
- >"That's it."
- "That's not it."
- >"What?"
- "Fluffies don't just get the life sucked out of them giving birth. I mean, sure, it hurts, and it's hard enough doing it without exploding, but it usually goes right back to being a fucktard right after it hugs its little demon-spawn. What else did you fucking do, idiot?"
- >
- >This nigger's fucking crying now
- >"I killed it... I took it out into the street and... crows ate it and... I made her watch..."
- >That sounds about right
- "Yeah, that's too much."
- >You bring the guy, crying, to the waiting room and tell him to wait for you
- >Stealthily tell the nurse to call the police; this man is guilty of fluffy pony abuse
- >She calls the police
- >Within a few minutes, the boys in blue are here
- >"Topher Grace?"
- >His name is Topher Grace? Classic
- >"Yeah?"
- >"You're under arrest for fluffy pony abuse in the form of mistreating a baby fluffy pony and psychologically torturing a fully grown mare."
- >He comes peacefully, but crying
- >He gets hit with a baton anyway
- >Lol police brutality
- >You return to your office, stalling on your next appointment
- >Lavender is still sitting there
- >She quickly realizes that it's just you
- >She looks up at you
- >
- >
- "Uh, your daddy's dead."
- >
- >
- >A single tear runs down her face, but no shivering or whimpering or yelling
- >
- >Fucking weird little cunt
- >In moments, uniformed men come to take the fluffy pony to the orphanage
- >You pretend to be all happy as they drive away
- >You realize
- >Lavender will never be adopted because no one wants a shitty sad fluffy pony
- >Lol
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