LGBTQ “ally” coworker (late 30s F) seems weirdly threatened by my (28F) lesbian relationship

Hi all. I live in a relatively progressive area, but I’ve always been hesitant to be out at work because of a bad experience I had getting fired for being gay when I was younger (and lived somewhere more conservative). I started a new job a few months ago—it’s all remote at the moment, so I’ve never met any my coworkers IRL and it’s been kind of tough making friends at work when all we have is Slack. :/

Anyway, there’s one woman there (I’ll call her Alice) who has a rainbow “filter” over her photo in Slack, so I thought she might be queer too and I wanted to befriend her. She also posts a lot about about LGBTQ stuff in our general chat—she linked to some queer-owned local businesses for people to shop at for the holidays, stuff like that. She’s mentioned having a “partner” as well.

I tested the waters by subtly mentioning my girlfriend, but she thought I was just referring to a friend for some reason??? I’ve gotten this from straight people, but was shocked she thought my girlfriend was a “gal pal.” I tried to clarify by explicitly saying it was nice to have another LGBTQ coworker (in retrospect, I shouldn’t have assumed she identified that way!!) and she said something like “oh I’m just an ally but my relationship is very queer.” I have absolutely no idea what that means??? But whatever. (FYI, I don’t have any issue with people in M/F relationships using the word “partner”—again, it was my bad for making assumptions there.)

Anyway, I thought it was weird but mostly just felt embarrassed for making assumptions… that is, until a month or so later, when I got friendly enough with another coworker (I’ll call him Jacob) that he started to gossip to me a bit. Apparently Alice has been shittalking me, saying that I’m not “really” a lesbian because me and my girlfriend are too feminine. She criticized me for “not being involved in activism” (which isn’t even true?!) and even made a snide comment about how lesbians are so privileged that they aren’t even “really queer.”

After getting told about this, I’ve become much more aware of Alice’s weird malice towards me. For example, I was talking to Jacob about how I played a video game recently where you could make your character a lesbian, and how that made me really happy. (This was on a call where it was just me/Jacob/Alice waiting for one other person to join—Alice plays video games too, so it wasn’t a super weird thing to bring up.) Alice seemed to get annoyed and said something like “well there’s too many lesbians in media to be honest, they get all the attention because men think they’re hot.”

Okay????

I can’t really complain to HR because it’s not like she’s said anything directly hostile to me—it’s just been a lot of passive aggression or gossip I’ve heard about secondhand. I’m just so confused about what’s going on. If Alice is such an LGBTQ ally, why does she seem to resent my identity so much?

tl;dr - Coworker constantly goes on about how she supports LGBTQ people but started hating me once I told her I was dating a woman

Edit, since some of you weirdos seem to think I don't actually work and spend all day talking about my gay agenda: I literally just mentioned my girlfriend in passing to Alice one time. I could go on about my actual job here but that's not the problem. 😂