Planescape: Equestria 14

>Coffee and petits-fours are coming round.
>You notice some chocolate tartlets with sugared violets on top and point them out to Rarity with a nudge and a smirk.
“That royal baker must be moonlighting.”
>She gives a stifled laugh and hits you none too softly in the shoulder.
>You’re taking a sip of coffee when you hear the exclamation you’ve been waiting for.
“A dragon? But my dear, that’s preposterous.”
>The speaker is a light grey unicorn stallion with spectacles and a slate grey mane, sitting three places along from Fleur. Her news has obviously just reached him.
“Excuse me, Jet Set, but it is not preposterous at all,” Fleur says with a haughty toss of her mane. “Just because you happen to be quite ignorant of the dragon development cycle…”
“Fleur, darling, listen to yourself. A dragon? He has no scales. He has no wings.”
>Fleur’s colour starts to rise as she gets drawn into the debate, convinced of her own superior knowledge.
>She might be a bit the worse for drink, which isn’t helping.
“It JUST SO HAPPENS that dragons SHED their baby scales and baby wings in adolersh… adalosh… adolescence. I thought everyp0ny knew that.”
>Jet Set gives a laugh, a note of insecurity creeping in his voice as he looks around to see everyp0ny listening to the two of them, and perhaps momentarily wonders if what Fleur is saying is so crazy that it must be true.

>His eyes light on you.
“Anonymous, isn’t it? Anonymous, my dear chap, please elucidate the situation for Fleur and her friend here. They seem to be labouring under the delusion that you are, of all things, a dragon.”
>You can’t help but feel kind of bad as you meet Fleur’s eyes and see the premature triumph there, her certainty that you’re going to vindicate her.
>It’s also really, really funny, though. You bite your lip and turn back to Jet Set.
“…of course not,” you say. “I’m a human. But I should apologise for sowing confusion, I made a joke earlier and I think Fleur may have taken me rather too seriously…”
>Fleur blinks once, staring at you, completely aghast.
>She blinks again. The silence stretches out.
>And then Jet Set starts braying with laughter, quickly followed by several other ponies. Soon almost everyp0ny round the table is laughing hilariously.
“A joke!” he cries out through his mirth. “Oh, that’s capital! A joke, and you really believed that he was a dragon, Fleur! Oh my…”
>Fleur’s face is buried in her hooves, her cheeks burning with shame.
>She gets up with a graceless jerking movement that knocks her chair over, and flees through the open French windows that lead out into the gardens.
>Now you kind of feel like a dick.
“…fuck,” you murmur to Rarity. “Should I…?”
>She just smiles reassuringly.
“Don’t worry. I’ll go.”
>She gets up before you can say anything else, and after a word in Swan Dive’s ear she follows Fleur out into the gardens.

“Oh dear… oh dear oh dear…” Jet Set is dabbing at his eyes with his handkerchief, still being shaken by occasional chuckles. “Oh, Swan Dive, I’m so sorry for the disturbance. But it was simply too funny…”
>Swan Dive gives a conciliatory smile.
“Don’t worry, these things happen. It was just a harmless joke that got out of hand. I’m sure Rarity will have Fleur feeling better in no time. Now, Anonymous, why don’t you set the record straight for everyp0ny? I’m not sure we all know what a human is. Rarity was telling me that you met Princess Celestia today…”
>With an inward groan you settle in to go over the same old ground again, giving the potted version of who and what you are and telling the ponies what they want to hear about the princesses.
>At least a bottle of brandy looks to be coming round. That’s something.
>It feels like an age before Rarity appears on the terrace and signals you over.
“Oh dear, it looks like Rarity needs your help in patching things over,” Swan Dive says.
“Yes. Excuse me, then…” you say, getting up with palpable relief and, on second thoughts, taking your glass of brandy with you.
>The night air is still balmy and mild as you step out onto the terrace, and there’s a heady smell of honeysuckle from the thick curtains of the stuff that hang from the house.
“At last… my saviour…” you greet Rarity melodramatically, getting rewarded with an indulgent smile for your trouble.
“Now darling,” she says softly, “Fleur is something of a wreck, but I told her how awful you feel, so come along and pretend to feel awful, all right?”
“No problem.”
“Good. Just follow my lead.”

>Following her lead promises to be very pleasant as she sets off across the lawn, her haunches swaying provocatively in the moonlight.
>The gardens are very extensive – you suppose they must be shared between Swan Dive’s and the other extravagant townhouses that back onto them.
>The two of you walk across the wide lawn, down stone steps and past a fountain, then turn off into a narrow path through thick shrubbery, dappled light cast here and there by tiki torches planted in the ground.
>You come to a secluded glade of lime trees with a wooden bench that has been set into a living tree, so that its branches overhang the seat in a protective embrace.
>There, amidst cushions and blankets, Fleur sits sniffling. She looks up with watery eyes as you and Rarity come into view, and immediately looks away with a fierce blush.
“I… I don’t know why you brought him…” she cries.
“Now, Fleur, darling, don’t be that way,” Rarity coos, climbing up onto the bench next to her and putting a foreleg around her soothingly. “It was just a silly joke that went too far, and Anonymous is terribly sorry, aren’t you Anonymous?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, Fleur. I felt like a real ass when I saw how upset you were.”
>You take a seat on Fleur’s other side. The bench is designed for three ponies, but you take up a bit more room than a pony, so it’s quite cosy.
>You can feel Fleur’s flank shaking gently as she cries next to you.

“I was humiliated,” she sobs. “Just absolutely humiliated, I don’t know how I’m going to show my face.”
“Now Fleur, it wasn’t that bad…” Rarity says.
“Oh but it was, it was! Oh, to think of that braying jackass Jet Set, practically calling me an idiot to my face…”
“Oh darling, he’s just bitter because that crusty wife of his really is an idiot, and even before she lost her looks she wasn’t a PATCH on you.”
“Eh… ehehe…” Fleur giggles through her tears. “Crusty Upper Crust. Upper Crusty?”
>Rarity laughs, laying her head lightly on Fleur’s shoulder. “Upper Crusty… oh yes, too perfect, that’s her name from now on.”
>Fleur smiles, but her good humour quickly fades as she turns to you, lilac eyes blazing.
“But you… you absolute utter stinking ASSHOLE. What possessed you to tell me such rot?”
“Err… I thought it would be funny…”
>She just glares for a moment, and then slaps you in the face with a hoof.
>Her slender, milky legs don’t have a whole lot of power behind them, but it still stings more than a bit.
“I deserved that…”
>She hits you again, her eyes tearing up once more as she lets out her pent-up aggression.
>Again and again she hits you, not really slapping you now but buffeting both sides of your head with her forehooves and letting out big choking sobs.

>Your head is ringing when the assault eventually stops; the blows were nothing serious, but still, those hooves of hers are pretty hard.
>Rarity has both forelegs thrown around Fleur in a tight embrace, pinning her.
“That’s enough,” she’s saying softly in Fleur’s ear. “That’s enough, darling, that’s enough. Shhh…”
>Fleur meets your gaze for a long moment, her own eyes swimming with tears, and although your vision is blurred a little you keep her fixed with a frank, steady look.
>With an impulsive movement she buries her head in your chest, and as Rarity releases her forelegs she throws them tightly about you, sobbing muffled apologies.
>Her soft pink mane smells sweet and a little sharp, like lemon cakes. You stroke it softly with one hand, while the other folds around her back to return her embrace, holding her close.
“Shh…” you whisper in her ear. “Shh... it’s okay.”
>Over her head you meet Rarity’s eyes and she gives you a meaningful smile.
>You sure hope you’re reading this right.
>Bending your head low over Fleur’s, you softly plant a kiss on her pale forehead, looking at Rarity the whole time.
>Rarity’s smile just deepens as Fleur tenses in your arms.
>You continue, softly kissing the top of Fleur’s head in a dozen places, her coat like peach fuzz against your lips as the elegant mare slowly relaxes and lets herself slip down until she’s draped languidly over your lap.

>Her head is out of reach of your kisses now, but you compensate by gently playing with her ears with one hand as the other continues to stroke her mane.
>Rarity shuffles over and leans against you, pressed up close against Fleur’s haunches where she has curled up on the bench.
>She brings her face close to yours and for a long moment you look into those sapphire eyes as your hands idly work their magic on Fleur.
>You go to kiss Rarity and she pulls back just slightly, leaving you hanging with a wicked smile on her face, prolonging the anticipation.
>You can sense her sweet breath on your skin, smell her fragrance, feel a soft strand of her mane as it blows in the breeze and tickles your cheek; but you can’t reach those lips, not quite, not without dislodging Fleur.
>You stare into her eyes, silently demanding that she lean closer, focusing all your mastery and will on her.
>She just gives a soft breath of laughter and extends her tongue, licking your nose.
>You give a frustrated answering chuckle – and then her lips finally meet yours all at once, kissing you with hungry passion, her tongue dancing artfully and inviting yours into her mouth.
>Your hands go still in Fleur’s mane, and you can feel her twist to watch you, but it hardly registers.
>You’re lost in the moment; lost in a world of Rarity’s hot mouth and cool, silky mane, her rich vanilla scent, the soft little mewing noise she makes as you bite gently on her lip.
“Mm...” Rarity breaks the kiss at last, sighs contentedly and nuzzles into your shoulder, one hoof resting lightly on Fleur’s flank.