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Sorryman54

The Tulpa Effect

Oct 2nd, 2012
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  1. The Tulpa effect
  2. =======================================
  3.  
  4. PROLOUGE:
  5.  
  6. It was an average day in Bum Fuck Nowhere, Texas. About 89 degrees outside. Sorryman was driving home from school, talking to his Tulpa about the Cold War. "it's called the Cold War because there was no fighting, Shy.", said Sorryman. "But then why would it be a war?", questioned Shy. So Sorryman babbled on. And on. And on. And on. He didn't even realize he was home, in his parking spot. He was still babbling on about the time/space continuum. Suddenly, a bright blue light appeared over his car. Then, there was nothing. When he awoke, he heard horrible shrieks...
  7.  
  8.  
  9. He awoke in a white room. "Mother fucking aliens! I knew it! ALIENS!", Sorryman said excitedly. To his dissap ointment, he wasn't strapped to a chair. He saw a door open to the outside. "Does this mean I won't be probed anally?", Sorryman quivered. He nervously walked outside, and saw Josh and Glass arguing. "You threw away my banana!" Glass shouted, in which Josh retorted "That was a goat, Glass. And I didn't throw it away.. If you haven't noticed, we are in the middle of no--". Josh stopped mid sentence. He looked at Shy and I. His face was completely awestruck. "S-s-Shy? Sorryman!?" Josh looked at the duo with complete amazement. "Josh? What the actual fuck? And Glass? How am I seeing you? I must be dreaming. I'm dreaming. Am I dreaming?" Sorryman kept going on, clearly confused. Shy put a hoof on his mouth to silence him. Sorryman regained his composure and thought about the situation. Glass, still clearly angry about her banana, walked away. Josh hardly noticed. Instead, he was focused on something else. A kid. Teenager. Surrounding him were three figures. Shin, Hash, and Lucifer. Loki was oddly missing. "Kadoh?!" Josh and Sorryman screamed in unison. Sorryman then pointed out the obvious by saying "Someone obviously is gathering us together...but why?". " I don't know.. But it's scary..." A nervous Shy said. "Shy! It's Shy! Hello Shy!", Kadoh said in glee. He was happy to see his pony friend. Shy awkwardly walked over and gave him a warm hug, while the other tuppers mingled among themselves. Shy went and talked to the other tuppers while Josh, oblivious to the fact that Glass was missing, assessed the situation with Sorryman and Kadoh. Suddenly, more blue lights appeared. Pronas popped out, with his penis in hand. He was obviously in the middle of fapping. Pronas looked around nervously, then began slowly fapping again. Kate was asleep on the ground. She must of been asleep when she was teleported. Glitch then popped up, with a headset on his head. "What the fuck! I was about to backstab that guy!". Glitch then threw his headset on the ground, visibly pissed. Josh, Kadoh, and Sorryman all noted that some of the teleported host's Tulpae were missing. Luna, clearly horny, saw Kate on the ground. She calculated that she was vulnerable and unaware. She saw Pronas fapping, too. Luna ran over to Kate and began to fuck her brutally. It was Pronas's dream come true. Literally.
  10.  
  11. More hosts teleported. The tons of Tulpae began mingling with one another. Shy, scared of the large crowd, jumped onto Sorryman's shoulders. After five minutes, everyone realized where they were at. Sorryman then pointed out Pleeb. He was not the neckbeard he expected him to be.
  12. He reminded him of Patrick Bateman.
  13. He called Pleeb up to a big rock, and asked for an explanation.
  14. "hey Sorryman and Shy.." Pleeb said, with truckloads of sweat pouring down his face. "Pleeb, what the fuck is going on?!" Sorryman demanded. "Did you read my blog?" "Wha? That's not important!" . Sorryman, confused by Pleeb's demanor, questioned him again. "Idk. Did you read my log?" "I don't give a fuck about your log! What's happening!?" Sorryman said, now heavily irritated. He was about to get physical. "Eh, Where's Chess, Pleeb?"
  15. Suddenly, Pleeb shook. His face looked emotionless.
  16. " 'Where is Chess' are accepted codes. Opening service hatch."
  17. "What the fuck?" Sorryman questioned.
  18. A patch in the back of Pleeb's skull opened up. Sorryman walked behind Pleeb and saw a card inserted into a slot of circuitry. He took the card.
  19. "I am Pleeb, please insert girder."
  20. "WHAT THE HELL?"
  21. "I am Pleeb, please insert girder."
  22. "you're a damn robot? What the actual fuck?"
  23. "I am Pleeb, please insert girder."
  24. Sorryman gave up trying to get a response out of the Pleeb bot. Sorryman looked at the back of the card. It said "Pleebian industries inc.".
  25. "You got to be shitting me..." Sorryman exclaimed loudly. Everyone heard him over the chatter and looked at the emotionless Pleeb-bot and confused male.
  26. Everything was silent.
  27.  
  28. Then, a voice broke the silence.
  29. "Well done, Sorryman. Well done. You found my secret."
  30.  
  31. The voice, so profound, so high pitched and non-threating, made even Luna stop raping Kate. Pronas stopped fapping. Glitch stopped screaming. Kadoh stopped sucking Josh's dick. LucidAcid actually was paying attention. Hisbro actually was mature.
  32. There, was the most appealing man anyone had ever laid eyes on. He had a crisp, black suit, slick backed hair, perfect complexion. Everything was perfect.
  33. He reminded Sorryman of Patrick Bateman.
  34. "Well done, Sorryman. Welcome to my home planet. It's quite nice, isn't it? It's called Pleebia. The greatest people were born here."
  35. "You're an alien?" Lili said in disbelief.
  36. "Yes."
  37. "But you look human!" Shouted Fede.
  38. "And you look like Neckbeardian. Now, shall we get to down to business?" Pleeb asked calmly.
  39.  
  40. The whole crowd of Tulpae and humans stood silently. The creator of Tulpa.info was alien!
  41. "Where's Chess?" Asked Chupi.
  42. "Don't be silly. Chess was a facade. A trick. To get idiots to like FAQman and Irish to make guides. In fact, you all are advancing the Tulpa cause. Amazing." Pleeb replied.
  43. "But why make a website for Tulpae if you don't have one?" Questioned Shy.
  44. "Ah, yes, my little yellow pony. It's simple: I made it so your planet would go insane with people in their heads. Do you know how much easier it is to conquer a planet when the whole population is sitting in their own filth, having adventures in their head all day? It's absolutely brilliant!" Pleeb exclaimed excitedly.
  45. "But why conquer Earth?" Asked Smooze.
  46. "Why? For the milk, of course!"
  47. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, like the reason made perfect sense.
  48. Sorryman, Kadoh, and their Tulpae we're the only ones who actually thought this plan was dumb.
  49. "Milk? Really? Milk?" Sorryman snorted.
  50. "Yes."
  51. "That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard anyone say." Kadoh sneered.
  52. "It's absolutely brilliant! With the milk, I can make myself what I've always wanted to be- a hermaphrodite." Pleeb squealed in excitement.
  53.  
  54. Somewhere in the crowd, someone shouted "I'm surrounded by retards.", then a gun shot rang out. Everyone gasped in confusion. They looked and saw Albatross on the ground, dead with a bullet hole in his head. Everyone realized it was Albatross, then they just turned back around.
  55. Not a single fuck was given by anyone.
  56. "Now! You must go across the planet of Pleebia to find me a vital object! It is necessary for my plan!" Pleeb demanded.
  57. "Why should we help you?" The whole crowd asked in unison.
  58. "Because if you don't, I'll kill you :D." Said Pleeb.
  59. The crowd grumbled and agreed to do it.
  60. Sands interjected, saying "What are we looking for?"
  61. "The mystical Hot Dog Flavored Water." Replied Pleeb.
  62. Sands snapped into a trance, muttering "oh baby.." While wetting his pants.
  63.  
  64. "You have 76 hours to complete this task! Many dangers are up ahead! You must be strong, and able, or you wi--" Pleeb was silenced with a huge "Shut the fuck up."
  65.  
  66. Pleeb sighed, and went back inside his tower that no one seemed to notice until now.
  67.  
  68. The group began their epic trek...
  69. =======================================
  70. TO BE CONTINUED....
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