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Etiquette

[Classic FR] CPR

Apr 11th, 2013
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  1. >Day gun control in Equestria.
  2. >It's a bright and sunny day and warmth and happiness spill through your curtains.
  3. >You hate it.
  4. >Take a lighter and set fire to them.
  5. >That'll teach them to be so lenient with the riff-raff that gets through.
  6. >Head to the bathroom and perform your morning routine.
  7. >Dry off and put on some boxers.
  8. >Hear a knocking at the door.
  9. >Grumble.
  10. I swear to Celestia, Fluttershy. If you're wearing candy underwear again...
  11. >Swing open the door.
  12. >Your worst fears are realized this day.
  13. >Fluttershy's wearing a leather (don't ask) vest with a sheriff's badge, a Stetson hat, a bandolier, and some ass-less apple-bottom jeans.
  14. >You gag from the sight.
  15. >Oh, and she's got the boots with the spur...
  16. >Lovely...
  17. >"H-Hi, Anon... Are c-c-cowp0nies your f-fetish?"
  18. If they were, don't you think I would've fucked Applejack by now?
  19. >She looks to the ground dejectedly.
  20. >"H-Haven't you?"
  21. >You grin and puff out your chest.
  22. Well yes, but that's beside the point.
  23. >She huffs and gathers up her courage.
  24. >"Well, I can be an even better cowp0ny than her! I even found this thingy."
  25. >She removes an antique-looking six-shooter from its holster.
  26. >Oddly, it's designed the same as the ones from Earth.
  27. >You know, the ones made to be held by HUMAN FUCKING HANDS...
  28. >She fumbles with the gun between her hooves.
  29. >"S-Stupid thing... Why is it so heavy? And hard to hold?"
  30. >FUCK THAT NOISE.
  31. >Slap that shit out of her hooves.
  32. >Watch it tumble in slow-motion through the air before clattering down to the ground.
  33. >Breathe a sigh of relief.
  34. >"Ouch... W-What was that f-for?"
  35. You could hurt somep0ny with that thing, Fluttershy.
  36. >"O-Oh..."
  37. >She fidgets and rubs the back of her hoof nervously.
  38. >"I wouldn't mind if you h-hurt me..."
  39. >She bends over to gives you a clear view of her salivating mare pussy-mouth.
  40. >Nope.
  41. >Fuck this gay Equestria.
  42. >You're done here.
  43. >Walk over and pick up the gun.
  44. >Place the end of the barrel to your temple.
  45. >Stare straight at Fluttershy.
  46. >And pull the trigger.
  47.  
  48. >Wake up.
  49. >Groggy.
  50. >Slowly open your eyes.
  51. >A blurry yellow and white horse are craned over you.
  52. >How the fuck?
  53. Where... Where am I?
  54. >Nurse Redheart speaks up. "You're at the hospital, Anon. Fluttershy brought you here after she revived you."
  55. >You turn to Fluttershy.
  56. >She beams at you.
  57. You... revived me...?
  58. >She nods.
  59. How?
  60. >"CPR."
  61. >Blink.
  62. >U wut m8?
  63. You gave me mouth-to-mouth...?
  64. >She licks her lips and nods again.
  65. For a bullet wound to the head?
  66. >You look incredulously to Nurse Redheart.
  67. >She eyes her clipboard and shrugs. "It's medically sound to me."
  68. >Fluttershy flies up to you. "Want to go for round t-two?"
  69. >Push her out of the way and stand up.
  70. I'm going home.
  71. >Nurse Redheart mutters something. "Oh Anon, about that... They say your house burned down earlier today. Something about curtains... I wasn't really paying attention."
  72. >Fluttershy's wings pop out. "You can st-st-stay with me, Anon."
  73. >Watch as a puddle of her juices forms beneath her.
  74. >Fucking curtains...
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